THE OUTSIDER
by Iland Girl
Summary: "Home isn't a house, a field, or the place you rest. It's where someone is waiting for your return. It's where open arms are always your welcoming. Home is where your loved ones are." But I didn't have anyone to love me, or hold me. You were taken right before my eyes, and I let it happen. Because I wasn't her, I wasn't that amazing. I'm just me. I'm just an Outsider. Ed x OC
1. Prologue

**THE OUTSIDER**

* * *

_by_ Iland Girl

"_For those without 'purpose'."_

A Fullmetal Alchemist Fanfiction

_I don't own anybody but Erin... for now..._

* * *

_"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." _  
_ ―Dr. Seuss_

* * *

I had made a promise.

And I planned on keeping it.

How was I supposed to know just how much that would cost me? Scratch that, I think I always had known. Things were changing around me so fast, and all I could do was get swept up into the current. Trying to go with the flow? Heh, how foolish of me.

When this had begun, I thought- 'Sweet! Adventure!', but then I realized just how much it hurt to be one of the heroes. It wasn't as glamorous as all the fairy tales made it out to be, there was no gold star to patch onto my shirt. In fact I didn't even get to see my prize first hand.

No, being a hero wasn't pretty. You lost everything to reach your goal. You traded in your most valuable possessions, and for what? To see that those people you're protecting have another day, another chance to smile. I traded it all, just to give them one more chance. Everything I did, I did for them. I missed my second chance in the process.

But I couldn't let them miss theirs.

Because I promised, cross my heart and hope to die, that I would save them. I vowed to give my all, because they did the same for me. They took me in, loved me, protected me. Who does that? These two apparently. It wasn't a surprise that I loved them more than my own flesh.

I would kill for them, die for them.

Funny, I always thought that when you loved someone, when you protected them from evils, you were invincible.

Turned out, I wasn't.

There was nothing special about me, but there was something about you two. Which is why, I'm happy. Because I could do this for you both, because I could save you both. With the same hands that I used to cup my cheeks as I cried, I used them to wipe away your fears. Because you had faith in me, and I knew you loved me too. I wanted you to have a tomorrow, both of you.

You deserved it too.

I closed my eyes, feeling so sleepy. The pain in my chest was going numb, just a dull throb that felt just as distant. Leaning down, I felt my face lean against something. It trembled, shaking for some odd reason.

Something wrapped around me, in the back of my mind I knew they were arms. Warm arms, I knew these arms very well. My eyes fluttered, the brief view of a crimson colored floor caught my attention, then I heard my name. It was a strange whimper that called to me, but I was hardly able to hear it.

My legs gave out, my eyes closed. Yet that whole time I wasn't afraid, because I was right there, in your arms. As long as I was there, I was safe.

Everything became dark then, everything went completely numb.

**_"_****_ERIN!"_**

* * *

**Author's Note!**

**And there you have it! I've been looking up a lot of tips and tricks to writing, so for those of you who have read any of my other stories, I'm probably going to write a teeny bit differently. **

**Okay! Normally I like to tell you guys about how the story will play out, but to be honest I've planned every single one of my steps in writing for the past year, and it tends to make me slow down and not write anything at all! So I'm going to be honest and say I have no idea how I'm gunna really angle this story, though I think I do know how it's gunna end. **

**I'm gunna try not to be to cliche, but I just love some of that cliche stuff! I'm also terribly stubborn about keeping characters IN CHARACTER! So if anybody doesn't seem in character, slap me with a fish!... Actually no, that's rather painful...**

**I _can_ tell you that this will probably be rated T just for violence and mild cursing (mostly Ed), and that I am praying I can develop a plot... ah well, next chapter should be out tonight! Until then my darlings!**

**Review!**

_Iland Girl_


	2. Scarface

**THE OUTSIDER**

* * *

_by_ Iland Girl

"_For those without 'purpose'."_

A Fullmetal Alchemist Fanfiction

_I don't own anybody but Erin, Auntie, and Brayden... for now..._

* * *

**_Chapter 1_**

_"Scarface"_

* * *

_"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen."  
― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross_

* * *

(Erin)

"EEEEEErrriiiinnnnnn!"

"No."

"But you don't even know what I was gunna assssk!"

"Doesn't matter, the answer's still no."

"But maybe I was gunna give you a back massage!"

I jabbed a thumb at my back, never looking away from my book.

"Get to work then."

"But I was just kidding, I wouldn't want to put in any effort."

I snorted, typical Alex, wouldn't lift a finger for others, but expected you to bow down to him if he requested it of you. I ignored him otherwise, but that was a really bad idea. The sentence I had been reading was lost to me as he pulled the book right from my hands. My eyes widened a little as I watched Alex lift it up and away from me.

"Alex!" I scolded, standing up to try and reach it. Only problem was, Alex is over six feet tall. I'm not that short, okay I'm taller than five feet but not by much, but that gave him and his massive arms a huge advantage.

"Oh? You suddenly want to pay attention to me?" He teased, but I just frowned at him before kicking him in the shin. He let out a curse before dropping my book. I picked it up and brushed it clean of the gravel dirt. With a smile, I sat back down on the bench and found my page.

"What the Hell Erin?! When did you get so violent?" He demanded, but I just snickered before glancing at him.

"Violent? I was being nice there."

"Hmph, fine, stay out here and don't come to my party." He said airily, as though to make it sound like I was missing out on something big. He was trying to goad me, but I wouldn't budge on the subject. Instead, I laughed at him.

"And here I thought you had important news." I teased, folding over a flap in the page before shoving it in my messenger bag. Dusting myself off, I stood up and looked out to the pond. Alex was talking, but I was taking in the serene view I had instead.

"You come here a lot, don't you?" He finally asked in a much calmer voice. I smiled, nodding before I turned to look up at Alex.

"Tell you what, you promise not to grab my ass and I'll come to the party for a bit." I said casually, but I had to admit I loved the way his eyes lit up. The boy was such a sweet heart when he wanted to be, and a child the rest of the time. I liked Alex, he was a good friend to be these past years.

"Really?! You never come to party!" He sounded like a puppy that just got its first bone. I chuckled a little, stretching.

"Yeah, I've been quite anti-social lately, might as well _do_ something instead of wallowing in the darkness." I joked, Alex shaking his head.

"You're something, alright, I'll meet you at my house around eight."

We parted ways soon after that, I enjoyed walking through the park. This one ran along a river, a small smile played at my lips as I watched the ducks quacking. I should bring some bread next time to feed them, it would be better than sitting in my room all Saturday.

Unfortunately my house was a bit out of the way from here, closer to the core of our small town. My house was a broken down bi-level home wedged between two others. It was apparently was once one big home, explains why it was crushed in on itself. I walked up the front lawn and pushed open the door.

"Auntie, I'm home." I called, sliding my bag off my shoulder and onto the floor. A smile graced my lips as I noticed everything was clean, Auntie must've taken today off of work, I could actually see the sink. To my right was the kitchen, the left the living room. There weren't any doors, just a small wall that opened again a little further down. Straight ahead were the stairs, I walked towards them.

"Oh great!" I heard Auntie from the kitchen.

_From the kitchen...?!_

I let that one sink in as I paused mid step up the stairs. Looking back, I noticed she was leaning over a vat of some sort of soup (hopefully edible). She sniffed it, then reared back before looking at me with a queasy smile.

"Dinner will be in ten minutes!" She insisted. I gave her a nervous nod back, before shakily walking up the stairs. Auntie was a genius when it came to mechanics and electronics, but in the kitchen I would trust an untrained monkey over her. As I got to the top of the stairs, I glanced to my left into another room.

"Stop staring." Came Brayden's reply. I smirked and opened my eyes extra wide, just to look creepier as I stared at him. He fidgeted, but then I took off at him at a run before leaping on the bed and landing next to him perfectly. A technique I had mastered earlier in life. Brayden barely glanced at me as he was too busy staring at the TV. We laid there on our bellies, watching some anime for a few minutes.

"You know Auntie is in the kitchen, right?" Brayden asked, I chuckled, but it was with a side of worry.

"Three gulps, then we both fall over?"

He looked at me incredulously.

"You want me to handle _three_ gulps?!"

"Okay, sniff, test, gasp, fall over dead?"

"Mmmm, okay."

I laughed, but it soon died and was returned with fear as Auntie called us both down to eat. We both looked at each other, but then I slowly got up and led the way.

* * *

(Erin)

"So how's the soup?" Auntie asked as she ate a dinner roll. My eyes narrowed when she wasn't looking. Auntie wouldn't even try to stomach her own cooking, was she trying to burst our palates? I made an agreeable noise before going to pick up my spoon. I looked down at the cloudy substance, but before I put it in my mouth a memory ran through my head and I dropped the spoon back into the bowl.

"Oh yeah, I'm going to a party in about an hour or two, Alex is throwing a small one at his house." I said. Thank go, saved by the idiot!

Auntie smiled at me, nodding.

"Just be back before midnight, no alcohol, no drugs, and definitely no unprotected sex."

"Auntie!"

"Well, you know my motto." She said, about to recite it, but then Brayden and I sighed. We'd only heard it about... meh, give or take a thousand times.

"You were born with a brain, use it to fix your mistakes. If you can't, it wasn't a mistake, it was meant to happen." Brayden and I recited together.

"But Auntie, Erin's been losing brain cells left and right lately, especially in the morning! Have you seen her try to do math before noon? Now that should be a stand up comedy routi- OW!"

"What was that? Little Brother?" I asked, rather irked. He winced, laughing a bit in unease.

"I'm not that little! I'm tall for my age!" He cried out, I looked over to him as we both stood up. I was three inches taller than him.

"But you're only five minutes younger than me." I pointed out. He glared at me then, his eyes alight.

"Five minutes apart maybe! But you were hogging all the nutrients for nine _months_!" He whined, I just snorted. For being twins, we weren't very... twin like.

For one, we barely looked alike. Sure we had similar jaws and noses, but my eyes were a lot bigger than his, I was also a lot more put together as a sixteen year old, while he was short and scrawny. I like to say I got the looks, but in truth my brother's baby face won over a lot of girls, while most guys didn't care too much about me.

'Alex does though.'

I shook the thought away before turning to the door.

"Whatever, I'm going to get ready for the party." I said casually, waving over my shoulder. It was only once I was heading up the stairs that I heard Auntie ask Brayden to finish her soup and mine. I snickered at his pouting, but continued my trek.

* * *

(Erin)

I bit my lip, in truth I was really nervous. I'd never been good with large crowds, and knowing Alex's popularity, he'd have a huge one. My feet were glued to the sidewalk just outside his house, I felt so nervous as I stared at the doors. Should I just walk in casually or knock? Would he hear me over the loud music? Maybe I should just go home, this was a really bad idea anyways.

Just as I turned to walk away, the front doors opened, and there stood my knight in shining armor. A grin adorned his face as he beckoned me over. I walked up to him, but even though he greeted me I couldn't hear him over the music.

We walked inside, and he took my coat for me before leaning down to shout in my ear (though I still barely heard).

"You look cute with curled hair!" He shouted, I smirked to hide my embarrassment, but the low lighting helped out plenty. He grabbed my hand and although I wasn't found of his forwardness, I absolutely adored the contact.

He led me up some stairs, my smile turning into a frown when he led me into a bedroom and closed the door.

"Sorry, it's just really loud." He said, scratching his head.

"S-Sure." I began, getting bug eyed as I noticed the bed with a bowl of _condoms_ sitting next to it. It reminded me of after dinner mints after a fabulous feast. I shuddered at the comparison. Alex seemed to notice my fear, but he just smiled.

"Erin," He began, making look him in the eye. "I'm not like that."

All at once, the fear melted away. This was Alex, my friendly Alex. He was the closest friend I had in this school, might as well give him some credit. I turned and plopped on the bed, bouncing a little before smiling him again to show I believed him.

"Thanks for coming, I thought you were going to hole up in your room and chicken out." He said, sitting on the chair nearby the bed. I chuckled a little, shrugging.

"I almost turned tail and ran when you came to the door, but I figured I got all dolled up, might as well go somewhere." I said. Alex smiled at me, a small smirk on his face.

"Come on." He said, offering me his hand. I smiled back before taking it in my own. I tucked my hair on the left side of my face behind my ear, my red locks falling over the right side of my face with a classical look. We walked out the door, then down the stairs. Immediately I knew, there were eyes on us. I fought against frowning, losing slowly. We stopped by the living room, Alex motioned that he'd get me a drink before leaving.

Leaving me to stand there, with all the eyes on me.

Because they all knew I didn't belong.

They knew, and I knew what they were thinking.

'What's she doing here?'

I looked down, because the eyes were too much.

A drink was pushed gently under my nose. I looked up and smiled at Alex, my Alex. Slowly, I was beginning to like him more. Then he looked around too, noticing people were watching. He frowned, but then he motioned to take a walk outside. I nodded, eager to be alone with him and away from prying eyes.

"Bye bye Scarface!"

My heart dropped when we walked out the back door. A guy shouted after us, his friends laughing. We walked a little ways down the back lane, I trying to keep from letting them get to me. I fought the urge to scowl, physical hits were my strong point, but my mental guard was pretty weak.

"What did they mean? I don't have a scratch on me!" Alex snorted. "Drunk bastards."

I stopped walking, but I didn't look at him. Instead, I stared down the road, nothing really thinking or doing anything, that is until I spoke.

"They were talking about me."

Alex whipped his head to look at me, then turned to look at me.

"You? Why would they?"

I looked up to him, smiling a little. Maybe Alex would be different. I had hopes, my heart felt a little lighter at that.

"You're new, you never heard the nicknames." I muttered, but then I brushed the right side of my hair out of my face. Alex stared with slightly widened eyes, his brow dropping out of confusion.

"What is that?" He asked, a few octaves higher. Three narrow cut marks dragged diagonally across my eye and back into my scalp, but the skin from my eye then looped down to my ear and back into my scalp was all misshapen. An old scar that would never perfectly heal, but the majority of skin had gotten better.

"Just an old scar." I replied, carefully taking in his reaction.

"Whoa," He said, leaning in to get a better look. "Whoever did this really got you good."

I went to say something, but then somebody called out.

"Hey Alex!" We both snapped our heads to look at the guy. He came from Alex's back lawn, a few other guys trailing after him. "Stop trying to make out with Scarface and get back over here!" He called.

The ass...! Yet just as I was thinking Alex would once again grab my hand and lead me away, he did the exact opposite.

"Coming Thomas."

I looked over to Alex again, and despite his torn look, I knew I was the real one who was aching. He then turned to walk away.

My chest broke then.

"You can't be serious." I whispered.

Yet he was.

Something chipped off inside of me, I could almost hear the _snap_ as it broke. I watched him for a second as he looked back at me.

"Sorry, it's just..."

No.

I wouldn't take any excuses.

Alex... I thought you could be different. I thought we had something, something small, but it was still a something. Making fists, I swallowed my whimpers in one go. Weakness... you only showed it to friends, family, something Alex never would be. So I did the one thing I am good at.

Taking a large step towards him, I punched his jaw.

The force bruised my knuckles, but it made his head snap up before he raised his hands to hold it.

"What the Hell Erin?!" He shouted, blood gushing from his split lip. I glared at him, my anger refused to let me feel remorse for such a pathetic man. He shouted a few obscenities at me, but I didn't bother wasting my breath. Instead, I turned and began to walk away, down the alleyway.

* * *

(Erin)

I don't know how long I walked for, an hour, maybe two. My destination wasn't my house, in fact it was anywhere that was unfamiliar. Somewhere new, somewhere without all this hatred. I wouldn't be gone long, just a week, two tops. Otherwise my Auntie and Brother might miss me... Okay I would miss them too, but that wasn't the point.

The point was I was sick. Sick and tired of all this crap. It was the same thing, no matter what I did, I was always the outsider, the one nobody wanted in their lives. I sucked in some air, fighting back a sob. In the dead of the night nobody would hear me, but that didn't mean I didn't have my pride. My feet took me to the park, but I didn't stop to sit on the bench right now.

Instead, I just kept on walking, my chest aching as I did so.

'Scarface! Scarface! Hahahaha!'

It had been the same in middle school. Children were so cruel, I bit my lip as I thought this. For once, I wanted to see somebody worse off than myself, I wanted to know that I wasn't in the worse shape possible, that I could have it worse. When I realized what I was thinking, I literally slapped myself. How cruel could I be? I'd never want to see, I'd feel sorrow if I ever saw someone in such pain.

Yet still...

'Scarface!'

I was crossing a street, looking at my feet, minding an open manhole as I paused in the middle of the street. Looking up, I stared at the stars, thinking deeply.

"Mom," I whispered, my eyes half lidded as I remembered her warm smile. "Was being a teenager this rough for you too?"

A light shone in the corner of my eye, I decided to take it as a sign as I sighed. The light grew brighter, maybe she was telling me-

A second too late I realized this wasn't a light from the stars. A second too late I looked over to see the car. A second too late, I took a step back, and a second too late I realized my mistake.

The manhole was right behind me.

* * *

**Author's Note!**

**Well look at me go! I actually wrote TWO chapters in one night! I feel so proud of myself! Well hopefully somebody reviews! C'mon! Make my day! Haha!  
**

**Well anyways, next chapter is when the real fun begins! Hopefully I still have your attention by then!**

**Review!**

_Iland Girl_


	3. Pay for your mistakes

**THE OUTSIDER**

* * *

_by_ Iland Girl

"_For those without 'purpose'."_

A Fullmetal Alchemist Fanfiction

_I don't own anybody but Erin, Auntie, and Brayden... for now..._

* * *

**_Chapter 2  
_**

_"Pay for Your Mistakes"_

* * *

_"The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience." _  
_ ― Eleanor Roosevelt_

* * *

(Erin)

I was seeing stars for a solid five minutes.

My back ached something fierce, but the skull splitting head ache took the longest to get over. A sharp pain rapped at the back of my head as I shifted to sit up. I reached for my skull, feeling liquid seep through my hair. It was making strange noises, wetting my whole head at some point.

"Dammit." I muttered, lying down flat again. After a good five minutes of resting I finally sat up, slowly. It was so dark in the manhole that I couldn't see anything other than the stars above me.

Dizzy...

I felt so dizzy.

Still, I attempted to stand up.

It worked, for the most part, but what happened next is what really caught my attention. As I stood up, the world spun, so I reached out my hand to support myself on the wall. It was grimy, but that wasn't what surprised me.

A light spread from where I touched. My eyes snapped to my bloody hand, a glow emitting from underneath it. I pulled my hand away, wobbling slightly, but whatever I had done had started a chain reaction. Lights emitted from the walls and ceiling of the gutter. My eyes widened to the size of dinner plates.

Great, I just found a mafia hide out in my own neighborhood.

Yet it didn't feel _bad_. It was just... off somehow. I couldn't quite explain it though, something felt wrong, but not bad. My gut told me to go back up the ladder, to the surface, and forget I ever saw this. Well, I would've... but you see I kind of needed a ladder to climb out of the hole.

"Are you serious?!"

Hmm, my new catchphrase?

Gulping, with the tiniest amount of courage to be thought of, I ventured into the tunnel.

* * *

(Erin)

It had to have been _hours_ that I was walking. I was beginning to think there was no end to this tunnel.

Just as I thought this though, a sliver of light peaked into my vision. I frowned- light? Had I really been walking so long that it was daylight? Was I going to end up in some outskirts? Why hadn't I come across another man hole?

I blinked, but then stopped moving. The light had become drastically closer. Frowning, I blinked again, jumping a bit since the light was a lot brighter again.

Okay, and this is where I turn to le-

I went to take a step in the opposite direction, but then I saw it. I blinked, and it towered over me.

The light surrounded me, engulfing me, but it wasn't anywhere near the warmth that the light of the sun gave off. It was simply there, not contributing to anything but my eyesight, but my attention was on the thing right in front of me.

A gate.

It was a really, really big gate.

My heart thudded in my chest, it clenched, fear churning inside of me. Where did this come from? Had I hit my head really hard on the concrete? Were my brains scattered everywhere and this was death?

Death...?! No I couldn't be dead! Not yet! I was still young! Stupid me! They always tell you not to go to the light, and what did I do? Go to the freakin' light!

I was ripped from my thoughts, quite literally, as the gate flung open. The first and only thing I could see was the eyes. So many eyes that all zeroed in on me. Eyes that were piercing into my very soul. A lump grew in my throat. I tried to, very slowly, take a shaky step back.

Then it grabbed me.

I screamed, but it didn't care as it dragged me into the darkness. My nails dug and broke on the hard surface of the sewer. Slime and other grit could be felt, helping the darkness pull me in. Tiny hands coiled around me as the gate slammed shut. I couldn't see anything but this darkness, but I could feel everything around me.

The dark was alive.

"Let me go!" I screamed, but then I could feel them biting me. Tiny teeth were trying to gnaw at my skin.

And it was working.

I watched for a split second, mortified, as a mouth took a chomp on my ankle, tearing open the flesh. A strange shine taking over where my skin had been, then the blood came. It oozed and crept out of the hole. Out of pure reflex, I swung my leg _hard_. The hands around that leg let go, but more were coming, more things that reminded me of infants, pitch black infants with purple eyes, latched onto me, and they tried to feed. I thrashed about, swinging the creatures off of me.

"Let go let go let go!" I screeched, my mind was telling me to run, but my body was too busy shaking off the black to run. _Fight!_ is what it demanded. I wasn't sure which to follow though. Everything was just one big blur, a mass of confusion. What was this place? What are these things? Cannibals?

Panicked, I looked around. There had to be an exit! There was an entrance, so an exit there must be! I looked, frantic, desperate to do something! A black creature landed on my shoulders, slamming me into the black ground. I screeched as it bit at my neck, blood flowed freely. Hands wrapped around my throat, but it wasn't squeezing.

It was trying to pull.

I grabbed at the creature, trying to decapitate me, and threw it into the darkness. The moment it left my hand I lost track of it. I tried to stand again, thrashing as I remembered the things on my legs. They gnawed, I kicked, it was an endless cycle. Eventually they began to let go, making me lam my head into the ground in my struggle, but I was free!

Now to run!

But to where?

Then I saw, cutting through the darkness like a knife, was a crack of light.

My safety.

Pushing up to my feet, I staggered a bit as they wrapped around my bloody legs. I winced as they began to lap at the blood, a shiver that never ceased pulling through me. Kicking and stomping, I tried my very best to break free.

Then I ran, swinging my arms to throw off the creatures, despite how hard they grabbed on. They tried hard to pulled me back, but the crack of light was right in front of me. I pushed on the doors, the sliver of light shining across my eyes. The arms tried to pull me back, but I pushed forwards, opening the gate wide. I struggled against the dark, fighting out of pure _fear_ to escape.

Perhaps it was the adrenaline, or maybe it was just dumb luck, either way, I powered forward, and they were forced to let go. I came flying out of the gate, hitting the white expanse with a hard slam. My nose ached something fierce, along with the side of my head. I grimaced, but then flipped over to see into the doors. Those things were laughing at me, grinning, hands tried to reach for me again. I shied further away, even after the doors slammed shut. My body trembled, but I just sat there, staring at the gate.

**"Impressive." **

My stomach dropped as I spun around. A white being that emitted dark light sat there. There was no distinguishing features on them, none except for a huge grin.

**"It takes a special kind of human to open the gate."**

I didn't move, didn't even speak, but the being didn't seem to care. It threw its head back and laughed at me, I shuddered as I noticed all the voices mixed together to make it's voice. I gulped, slowly getting to my feet. Was this creature in charge of the gate? Did it control this place? Why was it here and not inside?

"Why did you bring me here?"

The creature chuckled.

**"I did no such thing."** It said, making me furrow my brow.** "You came here of your own free will." **

"No I didn't!" I shouted, tempted to stomp my foot. "There was no other option! I was stuck and I had to get out!"

**"There is always another option."**

That made me pause, my eyes widening a fraction. Always another option, that made me sweat a little. What had been my other option, other than turning to the darkness? There was no other option, though maybe I wouldn't have ended up here then.

"Will you let me go?" I asked, hesitant. It just grinned at me instead.

**"Depends on where you want to go. Depends on what price you're willing to pay."**

"Price?" I asked, confused beyond belief. "Are you trying to swindle me?"

It chuckled.

**"I am all, I am you. ****I am the one called Truth. ****Or perhaps a different name is better suited, but no matter. I have no reason to lie to you, simple human. You must give up something to gain something, equivalent exchange."** It said, making me frown. Equivalency, I had to give something up in order to pass through?

**"Your toll through the first time was already paid with your blood,"** Truth said, which would explain how this whole mess started. **"But where would you like to go? The cost can range quite a bit."**

As Truth said this, an array of doors appeared behind it. My eyes widened, what was this? Some sort of connection to different places? Time travel? Space/ time manipulation? I didn't understand, but I was also thinking about what it said. Where did I want to go? Home? Yes, I wanted to be home, but then I thought a bit about it, about a place where I wasn't an outsider.

Somewhere I felt I belonged.

Where was this magical place though? Where nobody questioned my eye, or judged my appearance? Did such a place exist? Clearly if this expanse and Hell Gate existed then my nirvana must too.

I blinked, and only one door was left behind Truth.

Home.

I wanted to go home.

"Take me home!"

Truth grinned again.

**"There it is! The place you want to go!"**

The door looked so huge though, I gulped.

**"I'll be taking your toll now."**

My eyes snapped to Truth.

"What is my-" My heart sunk as the gate flung open, black arms came out and grabbed at me. My scream was lost as the doors slammed shut.

* * *

(Edward)

He had been thinking a lot lately.

It wasn't out of the ordinary for Edward, but he had been feeling particularly down lately. Perhaps it was the fact that the last lead they had on the stone turned out to be a ruse, or maybe it was the fact that it felt like he was running in circles.

Circles, his life seemed to be one big circle lately.

"Brother."

He snapped from his thoughts, his eyes glancing over to the metal suit of armor sitting in a seat across from him. They had been quiet on the train, watching the scenery go by, but Alphonse had been thinking as well.

"What?" Edward said in a blunt matter.

"What are we going to do now? Without a lead, we won't have any idea where to go." Despite Alphonse saying such things, Edward refused to acknowledge it. He stared out the window, pretending not to hear his younger bother.

"Maybe we should go back to East City and-"

"No way! I'm not taking an earful from the Colonel again!" Edward whined, yawning a little as he leaned back in his seat while closing his eyes.

"But Ed-"

"No buts, besides, we're half way to Cermon anyways. Might as well check this place out before we head back with empty arms."

Edward closed his eyes, ending the discussion. Alphonse sighed, but decided that his brother was right. At the very least they should finish their trip, then head back in a few days.

A few minutes past, both brothers remaining silent, until the train came to a shuddering stop. Edward actually fell out of his seat and slammed into his brother's armor. He winced, that would definitely leave a mark.

"Brother?" Alphonse asked, looking down to the smaller being. Edward looked up, muttering that he was fine, but then their attention was diverted to outside.

Edward stuck his head out the window, looking around for the cause of such a sudden stop. Suddenly, all too familiar blue sparks could be seen from the front.

Alchemy.

Edward squinted, but then he noticed someone kneeling beside the train. Somebody was bonding the metals in the train's wheels to the tracks so that it couldn't go anywhere. Dammit! They were hindering his chances of escaping Mustang!

"Hey Al!" Edward called. The suit of armor stuck his head out of the window as well, wondering what was happening. When the younger brother realized what was going on, he pulled his head back in as Edward did as well.

"I got him, you go see if there's anything else going on up there." Alphonse said. Edward nodded, both of them running from their seats. They ran out the door, Alphonse jumping to the ground before drawing a transmutation circle. He pressed his hands to it and used the dirt of the ground to push the culprit with a large wave of dirt away from the train.

Edward had taken the ladder to the top of the train, not too surprised to see a few men walking around on it. Clapping his hands, he pressed his left hand to his right forearm, molding the mechanical arm into a blade.

He did this without stopping his pace, jumping right into the midst of the men as he punched, kicked, and parried with the others. It only took a few minutes before they were all down, save for Edward. The older brother looked down to Alphonse, the younger brother looked up at the same time. They nodded in a silent agreement. Edward took off towards the front as Alphonse fixed the train tracks.

Edward was almost at the front car when he was forced to stop. A huge burst of energy broke through the roof he was about to step on. He slammed on the brakes, just inches from the large hole. A bit of sweat came down his face, that was too close! He looked into the hole then, his eyes widening as he saw a weapon aimed at him.

Taking a leap, Edward landed on the other side of the hole just as the gun was fired. It took off the entire edge of the roof he'd been standing on. His movement didn't stop there though, he jumped back a little and fell right into the hole, going on the attack.

A large man had been holding the gun, looking angry that he had missed Edward. The car was empty save for the man and his giant gun. Where did such a thing come from anyway? He'd never seen that style of weapon in his life!

Edward couldn't dwell on the thought though, instead he had to roll out of the way as the man shot again. However, the blonde used his momentum to launch himself at the man. The burly man fell back as Edward tackled him with surprising strength.

"Alright big guy, start talking!" Edward growled out, holding his blade to the man's throat. Though Edward knew he would never do such a thing, the large man didn't. "Why are you attacking this train?!"

Before the man could reply, the door to the car was flung open.

"Boss! We found him!" A man called, two more men coming into the car with a third in tow. The last man was tied up pretty tightly, his shoulder bleeding profusely. The men looked at the scene ahead of them, Edward noting the man tied up. He looked familiar-

The burly man had taken this as a chance to shove Edward off of him. The small boy wincing as he hit his head, but he forced himself to get up. Readying to fight, Edward's eyes widened greatly when he saw the end of the barrel facing him. The massive gun would hit him point blank if he didn't move.

Slowly, he raised his hands as though in surrender. The burly man chuckled, thinking he'd won.

"A wise choice, boy. But I don't think I want to let you live!" The Boss shouted before pulling the trigger. Just as he went to, Edward launched himself away and out the hole in the wall that was made earlier. He tucked and rolled, landing in a crouched position.

"Al!" He called, noticing his brother had freed the back cars. The suit of armor was running up to him now, but then Edward heard a different clinking of metal. Glancing to the front of the train, he noticed that the engine was pulling free from the rest of the train.

"Dammit!" He shouted, going to clap his hands, but then the Boss could be seen at the back of the engine car. He was cackling harshly.

"Try and stop us! But be warned! The rest of the train might not survive!" He shouted, pointing to the last car they left behind. Edward's eyes widened as he noticed it was moving again, but the tracks didn't line up anymore.

They were going over the edge of the cliff.

"Dammit dammit dammit!" Edward shouted, noticing the engine getting further and further. Finally he turned back to the train, Alphonse had already drawn a circle on the ground. "Ready Al?"

Alphonse made a noise of agreement, before Edward clapped his hands and they both touched the ground together. Sparks flew as they etched the side of the cliff to rise up above the train. You couldn't call off something that was higher than you, right?

When they were done, Edward wiped his brow, but then a scowl appeared on his face as he looked at the direction the engine had gone.

What the Hell was going on?

* * *

**Author's Note!**

**Holy snap! I'm a pro at writing this!  
**

**A huge thanks to LeFay! My first review! I feel so loved! I was actually reading your 'Guide to Amestris' awhile back, when this idea struck me of how cliche a lot of Different Dimensional stories are, and I figured 'why don't I make a super special awesome one?' I also noticed that you have one up! The Blood Alchemist, I really wanna read it now! Thank you so much for the awesome review! It made me so happy when I read it this morning that I giggled... hehe, girly moment. **

**Anyway! So, I know this might be weird, but I had a strange dream last night, I won't tell you what it is because it is actually pertaining to the plot! **

**I noticed a couple of FMA stories tell you where this is starting. I want to say that 90% (I think) of this story is going to be non-canon with the original story! Now having said that, there are a lot of different points in the OP that I don't want to lose! They may pop up at different times though!**

**If I had to say where this started... hm, before Liore for sure! Maybe juuuuuust before they got that lead? That sounds about right to me! Also, please point out any flaws or plot holes! I feel like an idiot when I find one and nobody tells me! I over think a lot of things though, which is why I'm just going to wing this for now, figured getting this down was more important. **

**So the Elric Brothers have been seeing their fair share of action too, huh? Erin seems to be having issues herself, wonder where she'll end up? Hmmm... I wonder when the trio will unite... *innocent whistle*... What? Maybe next chapter? **

**Only if you review!**

**So Review for the adorable Alphonse!  
**

_Iland Girl_


	4. Glimpses of the 'Other' Side'

**THE OUTSIDER**

* * *

_by_ Iland Girl

"_For those without 'purpose'."_

A Fullmetal Alchemist Fanfiction

_I don't own anybody but Erin, Auntie, and Brayden... for now..._

* * *

**_Chapter 3  
_**

_"Glimpses of the 'Other Side'_

* * *

_"Never fear quarrels, but seek hazardous adventures."  
― Alexandre Dumas, __ The Three Musketeers _

* * *

(Erin)

Dark.

Everything was dark when I finally opened my eyes.

Then again, it was probably only dark because I was face down in some dirt.

Great, eat dirt when I play sports, eat dirt when I take a nap. What else am I gunna do?

My head hurt something fierce, but I couldn't feel any wetness. When I frowned though, I could feel the caked on blood cracking a bit. I licked my hand, rubbing my face clean with it.

Grumbling, I used my arms to pick myself up into a seated position. With a yawn, I stretched before rubbing the back of my sore neck. My legs ached too, but with the black jeans I wore I couldn't see anything wrong with them. Looking around is the only time I really began to wake up.

This wasn't my back yard.

Or Alex's.

This wasn't even a park that I could recognize.

It was just this massive field...with... nothing around me. No wait, I could faintly see some houses in the distance. That counted as something... right?

Yet the worst I finally noticed after a few minutes.

Even when I brushed my hair out of my face, I still couldn't see out of my right eye. A strange darkness consumed the space that I used to see through, only when my hair wasn't in the way.

I was... part blind?

I panicked.

Oh God! Did I get mixed up in some drug deal gone wrong?! Why was I out in the middle of nowhere?! Was this Heaven? A long billowing field? Relaxation?

Memories of the gate flashed before my eyes. Was this my toll? I lost site in my eye? That wasn't fair! Such a big price just to get away! It didn't even kindly drop me somewhere I knew! I call free admission to such a lousy place!

... Dammit, my eye! Okay, keep calm Erin, this could be worse. You-You could've lost an arm or a leg. Hell maybe both. You could've lost your voice, wait, had I lost my voice?

"Doe, a deer, a female deer...~" I sung, sighing a little, happy I hadn't lost that too. I could feel the grass, see out of my left eye... okay, things could be worse!

Though, I did feel really dizzy...

"Um, excuse me..."

I damn near jumped at the tiny voice. Looking over my shoulder, I peered into big blue eyes. They were wide with innocence that only a child as small as her could posses. She stood barely taller than me as I sat down.

"You're sitting on my bag, ma'am."

It took a second for the words to register, then I looked down. Sure enough, I was sitting on a small messenger bag. With an uneasy smile I lifted myself off of it and handed it to her.

"Sorry, I didn't even notice it." I said with embarrassment evident in my tone. "Um, by the way, where am I?"

The girl gave me a strange glance, but then smiled, giggling a little.

"You're in Cermon! Silly!" She laughed. I just gave he a blunt look then.

"Look kid, you're cute and all, but you can't keep pulling my leg." I said bluntly. "I've never heard of a town called Cermon."

She looked really confused, maybe she just couldn't pronounce it right?

"Okay... have you ever heard of a place called Willowneck?" I asked, wondering if she would understand it by proper pronunciation. Instead, she just frowned at me.

"I think you're the one pulling my leg Miss."

I hung my head, there was no way I was getting anywhere with this kid. Shifting through my pockets, I searched for my phone... only to realize I left it in my jacket _at_ Alex's house! Crap, this wasn't a good start to the day!

"Okay, would you mind if I used your phone to call my Auntie?" Come to think of it, should I be talking to a little kid? This is kind of creepy of me...

She smiled though, nodding before asking me to follow her. I got off the ground, dusting myself off, before following after the child. As I did this, I looked around. We were heading towards a cluster of houses. Huh, in my panic I hadn't thought to stand up and look around. I saw a lot more now that I was on my feet. There were actually quite a few houses around here.

"Momma told me not to let strangers in the house, so you'll have to wait outside for her to let you in." The girl said in the cutest tone ever. I just nodded, taking in the scenery.

When we got to the houses though, everything inside me did a flop.

Why was everybody dressed so... old fashioned? Better yet, where were all the cars and stuff? The only car I saw looked like a 1900's early model car, possibly the most ancient thing I'd ever seen. Wouldn't Auntie get a kick outta tinkering with these. I stopped walking when I noticed a small gathering. The little girl stopped too, watching.

A man was drawing a circle on the ground, I could barely see him from the crowd.

"Brother likes to show off." The little girl said with laugh. I looked to her, drawing a circle was showing off?

"Okay," The boy said, looking determined. He then placed his hands on the circle. "Here we go!"

What was he-

My heart skipped a beat when I saw the familiar sparks.

Oh my God.

I took a step back when I noticed the dirt had coiled up and been molded into a different shape. My legs threatened to give way as I watched those familiar sparks. Images of that darkness flashed through my mind, my body trembled.

Stay strong Erin.

I did as I was told, my Auntie's motto flashing through my mind. Stealing myself, I watched as the group clapped their hands. They were praising him? What the Hell had he done even?! The boy looked over to the girl, he smiled before getting up and walking to her.

"Astra, you know you're not supposed to be wandering around today. Wasn't Mother going to make you a dress?" He asked with a slight laugh. The girl puckered her lips, frowning at him. She looked so adorable that I felt myself relax a little bit.

"But I'd rather be out in the field drawing!" Astra cried, but the boy just laughed. He looked so warm and happy. It was then that he noticed me.

"Oh, hello, may I help you?" He asked, Astra tugged on his jacket to get his attention then.

"This lady was sleeping in the field! She wants to use the telephone!" Astra said. The boy looked back to me with a warm smile.

"Oh I see, my name is Lucas Eastrin. It's a pleasure to meet you...?"

"Erin Lallier, please to meet you too, Lucas." I said, trying to casually keep my scar covered. Lucas offered to walk with us back to his house, which was only five more minutes with Astra leading the way. After a moment, I was already sick of the silence. Too many questions filled my brain.

"What you did back there..." I began, not sure how to word it. Lucas raised a brow, but then he grinned.

"Oh that? I'm studying alchemy. I'm starting to get the hang of it." He said as though it was no big deal. I beg to differ!

"Alchemy?" I began, raising a brow. "What's that?"

He looked at me, incredulous.

"You've never heard of alchemy?!"

Well no, I had. It was the science that allowed you to turn lead into gold. Reorganizing elements, altering their make up. I knew what alchemy _was_. I just never knew you could do _that_ with it. It was fascinating, now that I knew what it was. A science gone berserk, something itched inside of me to try it.

"Hmm, well I've never seen it before, but I did hear of it... in passing." I muttered the end. Father was always the one into science, he was the one who taught me all about Alchemy. Such an intriguing thing to know about all the elements. Never in a thousand years would I have thought you could do this with it though!

We arrived at the Eastrin's house, Lucas let me in seeing as he was the older brother of the family. He didn't look much older than me though. I walked inside, marveling at the cute little home. Once inside they let me use the washroom. I looked at the mirror once inside, noticing the amount of blood that was caked on my neck. It had been hidden by my hair, which just looked coppery due to how light of a blond it used to be.

One light grey eye stared at me, the other was dull, almost a smokey grey. The scar had ripped open in spots, bleeding a little. I cleaned myself of the blood, the towel becoming dark red by the time I'd cleaned up. Combing my fingers through my hair, I admitted that hiding my shameful face, my mistake, was better than pulling my hair back.

Couldn't see out of that eye anyways.

When I came out of the washroom, I felt cleaner. Lucas motioned for me to come to the phone, but when I saw it I couldn't help but stare.

It was... ancient!

"What am I supposed to do with this?" I asked, staring at him with a blunt expression. He raised a brow at me, frowning.

"What? This is the newest model of phones out here!" He said, but I just stared at him without any real expression.

Then I laughed.

Really, really hard.

"Next you're going to say it's the year 1900!" I laughed, but both he and Astra didn't seem to find this funny.

"Actually, it's 1914."

My laughter died instantly.

19...14?

I looked at the boy, he wasn't laughing, in fact he looked to be telling the honest truth. My legs felt wobbly again, what had happened to me? Where am I? I can't be home! Home is in 2013! Home is-is... it isn't here!

The gate, it never took me home.

_"There it is! The place you want to go!"_

You lied to me! This wasn't home!

"Erin?" Lucas asked, sounding confused. I backed away from him, shaking. No way, it had taken me somewhere else. If it was 1914, there was no way this was my _world_! That meant I had-

Traveled to a different dimension?!

I just about fainted right there, but instead, I went running out of the house.

"Erin!" Lucas called after me, but I fled down the steps and continued to run with a blurry vision.

_BANG!_

Without looking where I was going, I ran straight into something solid and cold. The object didn't move, but I went flying backwards. Luckily I stumbled but stayed upright. My forehead seemed to be taking a real beating lately, I could feel the scab open up a little, blood dripping into my hairline. Looking up, I saw nothing but metal, a giant suit of armor really. The tears wouldn't stop though, I felt so embarrassed for crying in front of strangers.

To make matters worse, my nose was bleeding pretty bad too.

"I'm sorry!" I muttered, holding my hand to my nose. I think the suit of armor and the guy next to him were talking, but I was too busy to even try to comprehend them.

"I'm sorry!" I repeated, taking off at a run.

"Erin!" Lucas called again, but I just kept running.

* * *

(Edward)

"I wonder what that was about." Edward thought out loud.

"She looked hurt, maybe we should go after her?" Alphonse asked, feeling guilty for causing her nose to bleed. Edward shrugged though, it wasn't like they could, she was long gone.

"Her fault," He said, but then he looked up to the boy standing in the doorway. "Hey, you look kind of familiar." He said bluntly. The boy looked to him, blinking a few times before he seemed to understand something.

"Oh, I look a lot like my Father, that's probably where you've 'seen' me before." He said, sounding still mildly peeved about the girl's disappearance.

"Your father..." Then it dawned on Edward. "That's it! You're the son of Doctor Eastrin!"

Lucas laughed a little.

"Yep, that's me!" He said. Alphonse let out a small gasp, feeling surprised. This was a huge lead!

"Is it alright if we asked you a couple of questions? We were looking for your father a while ago." Alphonse asked, but Lucas had the opposite reaction of what they wanted. A frown appeared on his face as he slowly backed into his home.

"What do you want with my father?" He snapped, looking like a completely different person with those inky black eyes.

"Please don't be afraid! We're just here to ask about his research!" Alphonse insisted, but Lucas was unconvinced.

"Why? So you can steal it? Or are you going to imprison him?" He snapped. Edward frowned, why would they imprison him? Eastrin was asked by the state to study the Philosopher's Stone.

"Lucas," Both parties turned to look at the new comer. A woman in her late forties, looking tired and worn, watched the exchange. "I think we should sit down and talk."

* * *

(Edward)

"So you're Doctor Eastrin's wife, Malorie Eastrin." Alphonse said, watching the women who put on a tired smile from across the table. Lucas sat next to her as the Brothers sat together too. Tea had been served, but nobody really touched it. Astra was playing in the other room, quietly drawing.

"Yes, it was a shame that Roger was called away on business. Otherwise I'm certain he would love to answer your questions. You're welcome to stick around until he comes back though. He should be home any day now. Perhaps even tonight." She said, even her voice sounded worn.

Edward frowned, looking at the table, as did Alphonse.

"I'm afraid that won't happen," Edward said with a tinge of sorrow. "You see on our way here, our train was attacked. The attackers made off with a man that I couldn't quite recognize. I'm afraid it may have been your husband Ma'am."

The shocked look in her eyes, clearly she never expected such a thing. Slowly, she hung her head, not wanting to come to terms with her loss.

"I understand, it was always like Roger, sticking his nose where it didn't belong." She said with a hint of amusement, but it was buried under her sorrow. The brothers were quiet for a moment, but Edward couldn't hold himself together for long.

"Mrs. Eastrin, I'm sorry for bringing you this news. I am only telling you this because I was hoping you would know something about his research too." Edward said, receiving a nudge in the ribs from his brother.

"Brother!" Alphonse scolded.

"No no, I must admit. I knew a bit about my husband's research." The older lady said sadly. Lucas looked at her with surprise.

"You knew?" He asked, a hint of surprise. She nodded.

"Well you see, Roger was a soldier in Ishbal during the war. He and a friend were studying red water." She said, staring at her lap. The brothers were surprised, but they never voice this to let her continue.

"After the war, he and his friend took their research and split it up in two different directions. Half the information with Roger, the other half with his friend. Roger burned his, committing it to memory. But it wasn't enough." She closed her eyes and the frustration of the situation settled in.

"Mrs. Eastrin, if I may ask, what wasn't enough?" Alphonse asked.

"This world. Roger was tired of it. He only wanted to study for the sake of knowledge. Roger never wanted to _create_ anything."

Edward stood up suddenly, pushing his hands down on the table.

"You mean he actually created a stone?!" Edward exclaimed, earning a glare from Lucas. The woman nodded, looking up to him.

"He called them faulty, imperfect, but they held potential. However, Roger said after he learned how to create a real stone, he stopped researching it."

"What was so bad that made him stop?" Alphonse asked as Edward sat down. He couldn't believe it! It existed! It was really possible to make one!

"He never said," Malorie began, looking into her tea cup. "But he did say he was sick and tired of it. He wanted to escape, for all of us to escape to a place free of this madness."

"To a different country? Surely he knew that wouldn't work." Edward said, crossing his arms. Malorie nodded though, surprising the three boys with her next statement.

"He wanted to escape to a different world."

Edward's eyes bulged, Alphonse let out a shaky gasp. Even Lucas, Roger's own son, had no knowledge of such a thing.

"He began to study if there was a possibility, thinking that a world without all this war would be better than knowledge. He never wanted to create anything, and perhaps escaping this world was the only way to be rid of such a thing."

"Did he succeed in finding this 'other world'?" Edward asked, unconvinced. Malorie only shrugged though, making the blond relax a bit.

"That's what he wanted to tell me. He phoned a short while ago, saying he'd be home in a few days. He demanded that I be there, that I shouldn't travel to my Mother's like I planned to do. There was something he needed to let me know. Only problem is, I don't know if he was trying to tell me about this new world, or if he was on the run from somebody."

"That could be why he was taken on the train." Edward muttered. 'Or maybe he was taken because he actually did know something important.'

The young Alchemist didn't know what to think at that moment.

* * *

(Edward)

"Thanks for your time, and if we find your husband we'll try and rescue him."

The boys stood just outside the threshold, waving goodbye to the mother. Just as they went to leave, when Lucas came rushing to the door.

"Wait!" He shouted, getting their attention. "That girl earlier, she was acting really strange. I'm worried about her... If you see her, could you make sure she's alright?"

Alphonse and Edward looked at each other, then the blond grinned back at him.

"Sure, it's the least we could do." Alphonse said with a smile in his voice.

"C'mon Al, we better get moving." Edward said, waving goodbye again before turning. The giant metal boy followed by his side.

* * *

(Erin)

"Okay, so let's review!" I muttered, counting on my fingers the events of last night. "I fell in a manhole, activated some sort of spell, came across a giant gate, met the creepy lying bastard who has the nerve to call himself Truth, and was dragged into another gate that brought me here."

I stared at my open hand, counting the five events with it. So I got here by activating that strange design on the walls, making it light up and activate somehow.

"If it's a gate..." I muttered, thinking out loud. "That means there has to be a door on this side. That's the only way I could get through!"

People passing by me sitting on the bench gave me odd looks. I gave a sheepish smile back, the noise of the trains drowning out my nervous laughter.

Okay, focus Erin!

If I can get here, then getting back must be similar. Which would mean I just had to learn what that thing was that I activated to get here. Thinking back to my walk around, I remembered Lucas. That strange circle he had made, could it have been similar to the one that brought me here? Alchemy, had alchemy brought me here?

Dammit, now my head hurts!

Not to mention the gate itself! I had to pay a toll to get through! What would be next that would be taken away from me? First this eye, what next? My tongue? Hearing? I shuddered at the thought.

No, the next time I went through the gate, I had to do it perfectly. Otherwise...

"Hey Miss," I nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard the voice. Looking to my right, in my blind spot, I saw that giant suit of armor. "Are you alright?"

Whoa, he's a lot taller than I pegged him being, not to mention his voice was so... tiny compared to his body.

"Uhhh... yeah. I just..." I thought about that circle, then looked up to the armored guy with a serious face. "Do you know anything about alchemy?"

The armor twitched, seeming surprised by my answer.

"Why do you want to know about alchemy?"

It was only now that I noticed the smaller guy next to the armor. He stared at me with such fierce eyes, they shocked me at how gold they were. I'd never seen such an eye color before. Shaking my head, I broke from my daze.

"I need to study it, because I..." Because I needed to get home, because I wanted to see my family again. Because I promised to always be there from now on. I looked at him with the same fierce expression.

"I need to fulfill a promise."

The armor twitched again, seemingly taken by surprise. The boy, however, only showed a mild expression. There was a strange look, an _understanding _in his eyes. He closed them, before sighing.

"Well, I suppose I could point you in the direction of a good teacher." He said, putting his hands in his pockets. I grinned, getting excited. "Just take the train to Dublith and ask for Izumi Curtis. She'll whip you into shape in no time."

I paused.

"Dublin? Where's that?" I asked, feeling like a foreigner all of a sudden. He gave me a weird look, the suit of armor peering down at me too.

"You've never heard of Dublith?" The suit asked. Well, I've heard of Dublin Ireland- oh Dubli_th_. No, I'd never heard of such a place before. I had a feeling that was a very different location than Ireland, seeing as this seemed to be a different time frame and all.

"Uhhh... no?"

They looked at each other with confusion.

"Well we could give you directions?" The armored boy offered.

"Yeah!... No... I don't have any money." I pouted.

"Jeez what's with you? Where are your parents? Go home and get some money if you need it!" The blond scolded. I just frowned.

"I don't have parents," There was a pause in all of us before I scratched my neck, looking away from their intense gazes. "Well I mean I do, just they aren't around anymore. Furthermore, I don't live here... or anywhere... I've been traveling on foot, but I've never been to any large cities and well..."

Lies were coming a little too naturally to me apparently. Bad Erin! Yet still, how else was I going to explain this? 'Oh y'know, I don't have parents form this world, so I don't have money! Why I'm learning alchemy so I can get back home of course! I also need to know what I can offer the gate to make sure it doesn't try to kill me again! You wouldn't happen to know about any of that, would you?'

Yeah, because that would go over so well.

"Alright already! We get it!" The blond snapped, I looked up at him with slight surprise. "Listen, we'll take you to our teacher, but first we have to do a few things along the way."

I practically went bug eyed at this. They were offering to help me? Me, of all people? Warmth entered me, a smile that I hadn't smiled to anyone but Brother and Auntie in years broke out across my face.

"Thank you." I whispered, then repeated with more strength. The blond looked at me funny, seeming to be sizing me up. When I stood from the bench, I noticed we were about the same height too. I being slightly taller. The smile didn't cease as I looked up to the suit of armor.

Kindness, I wasn't used to such kindness.

"Don't mention it." The man in armor said, I imagined him smiling. "I'll go get our tickets."

The armor walked off, leaving me with the other boy.

"So what's your name?" He asked. Had he not just shown so much kindness I would've pointed out it was rude to ask for a name before giving your own.

"Erin Lallier. And yours?"

He looked a little confused, but didn't say much about it.

"Edward Elric. That's my little brother Alphonse in the armor." He said. I raised a brow, little brother?

"Talk about a growth spurt." I muttered, making the boy look at me with an irked expression.

"Yeah yeah, he's tall and I'm short." Then he turned and shouted at me. "Very funny!"

My eyes widened, but then I smiled. The image of Brayden replacing Edward. So many similarities...

"I didn't mean to poke fun at your height. If anything I'd say we're a normal height and the rest of the world is a crossbreed of giants." I laughed, only teasing him, but he just snorted as Alphonse came back with our tickets.

"Alright, the train leaves soon, we better hurry!" Alphonse said. I nodded, both Edward and I walking forward towards the train.

Brayden...

Auntie...

I'll be back soon.

I promise.

* * *

**Author's Note!**

**Look at me go! Well I won't be updating for a couple of days now, I've got this thing to go to, and the chances of me getting anything down are slim and none! So, I hope you enjoyed this tasty treat!  
**

**Thanks to LeFay, the best reviewer I think I've ever had, on messaging me back so quickly! I know I rushed through Erin's terror, but right now I'm just _writing_. I think I'll go back in a couple dozen chapters (or when I'm finished) to smooth things out and elongate the terror. Thank you for liking my story so far! It means a lot to me! And no, Erin doesn't know about FMA at all. I find it very trickey to spin that sort of story and make it sound good, very few authors have such a talent, and I get too bored repeating the storyline. Yes, she did activate the array with her blood. I thought of it when in CoS Edward activated the array with his own blood (though I have yet to see the movie since it was first released a long while ago... eheh...). **

**I would like everyone to remember that fact, it is important!**

**So now Erin is with the Elric Brothers for a bit. Hmm, I wonder what strange events (note the summary) are going to bring the trio together permanently? You'll find out in...4 chapters? **

**Only if you review!**

**Also, I'm just going to point out that I've never watched brotherhood, or read the manga. I have watched the first anime about ten times, so if anything seems ripped from the FMAB I didn't do it on purpose! **

**Hmmm, what else? I was going to say something else, but I'm not sure what... oh! Erin's lost sight in her bad eye! That's right, I want you all to note that the panic didn't last very long. I have been thinking of Erin a lot in my head, and Erin, to me, is not one to fixate on such a thing. Why? Well she doesn't really use her bad eye since it's hidden behind her locks anyways. I think Truth was pretty nice to her, taking just her sight in one eye. **

**I'd say the only reason it was so kind was because she had to just pay for half of her toll, since the entrance fee was paid for with her blood (it was quite a bit). Anyways, hope you all review!**

**So Review for the adorable Alphonse and shortie Edward!  
**

**I'm so dead.**

_Iland Girl_


	5. Home

**THE OUTSIDER**

* * *

_by_ Iland Girl

"_For those without 'purpose'."_

A Fullmetal Alchemist Fanfiction

_I don't own anybody but Erin, Auntie, and Brayden... for now..._

* * *

**_Chapter 4  
_**

_"Home"_

* * *

"Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving."  
― Terry Pratchett, _ A Hat Full of Sky _

* * *

(Erin)

"So where are we headed to first?"

Alphonse looked to me. I had been the one to break a long silence. It was obvious that Edward wanted to be sitting where I was, across from Alphonse. Yet he buried the anger and sought to squeeze next to his larger brother as he took the window seat.

"We have to see our superior in East City. Hopefully he will have a lead for us, and then we can show you the way to Dublith." Alphonse said. I nodded in return, leaning against the window.

"Alright, sounds like a plan." I said, staring at the passing scenery. It went quiet for another few minutes. My thoughts drifted to home, I wondered how they had felt when they woke up and I wasn't there. Did they worry? I know my Auntie would keep logical for about another day before she lost it. Brayden would be pacing the living room during his spare time.

"Erin?"

Without moving, my eyes traveled to the younger Elric.

"If you don't mind my asking, where are you from?" Alphonse inquired, but I noticed Edward's eyes strayed to me as well. I looked out the window, thinking back to home.

"It's a small town, I doubt you'd have heard of it before." I said casually.

"Would you describe it for me?" He asked. Describe it? How would I describe such a town...?

"It's very relaxing there, not a lot of people. The grass is forever tall and a wind is always blowing. There are a lot of ponds and nice little alcoves to hide away and read in the shade..." I trailed off, thinking about all the memories I had of home. The good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful. A soft smile played at my lips as I remembered it all.

'_Scarface_!'

A frown ripped the smile from my face the moment I remembered the horrible name. A new hatred filled me at the memory. Alphonse didn't ask me anymore questions, and Edward remained quiet for a few more hours. Slowly, I began to lean more against the window, my eyes becoming too heavy as I fell asleep.

* * *

(Erin)

I awoke a few hours later, the brothers were quietly talking amongst themselves. Alphonse greeted me, asking how my nap was.

"Relaxing, actually." I admitted, easily finding comfort despite the hard wood of the bench. My eyes strayed to the duo, questions swarming my head about them. Why did the younger brother wear a suit of armor? Was that normal around here? Why was Edward so uptight around me? Was he always like that or did I do something particular to piss him off?

"Say," I began, making them both glance at me. "How old are you guys anyways? From your voice Alphonse, I couldn't see you being older than fourteen."

My eyes strayed to Edward, but I dared not to comment on how short he was for his age, after all, I nearly matched his height. He seemed to be psychic or something though, because he looked a little irked. I smiled a little at that. So Brayden like.

"You're right, I am fourteen, and Brother is fifteen." Alphonse said, sounding a little chipper. My lips strayed to a frown then. Fifteen and all he had was his brother? I couldn't imagine their parents letting them gallivant around like this. Then again, Auntie had let me do some strange things... My face went pale as I remembered last Halloween...

"What about you Erin?" Alphonse asked. I looked to the sky for a moment, wasn't today...?

"Alphonse, what day is it?" I asked, looking up with curious eyes. I had lost track of the days recently, who could really blame me though? Keeping track of my own brain had been a challenge on it's own! Memories of when I woke up in this strange world fluttered through. I had lost my eye, and perhaps it should hit me harder, but it didn't. Through the trauma I remembered, that voice clearly ringing in my head.

_"There is always someone worse off than you."_

I remembered that voice, ringing clearly in my head when I woke up without sight in my right eye. It always reminded me that, despite what I think, there are people worse off than me, that it could get worse. So I should be grateful for what I still have, not worry about what I have lost or yet to lose.

"Today is January eighth." Alphonse said. A chuckle escaped my lips as I glanced out the window.

"Darn, I'm still sixteen." I said. Yet in a few more days...

Before either could speak, I turned to glance at them again.

"Oh yeah, you asked me about my home, but what about yours? What's it like?"

It went quiet for a moment, I felt like I asked something I shouldn't have. Edward stood up then, turning to leave.

"I'm going to get some air." He muttered, going to leave the train car. I watched him go, looking at Alphonse nervously.

"Did I say something wrong?" I asked, worried. The armor leaned down a bit, hanging his head.

"No, Brother is just really sensitive about the subject." He said, making me shake my head in worry.

"Uh you don't have to talk if this is too much or something...!" I added. He looked up to me, almost curious in my eyes.

"But you told us about your home. Equivalent exchange would mean-"

"Really Alphonse," I cut in, feeling a little sad now as I looked out the window. "Equivalent exchange? I already owe you both for doing this for me." I folded my knees up to my chest as I leaned against the window. "I think I am more in debt to you. So if it's too much to talk about, please don't force yourself," I paused and looked back at him with a forced smile. "Okay?"

He watched me for a little, before nodding slowly.

It was quiet for a little while, but as the sun set, the train began to slow down. Edward finally came back a few hours later. The train had pulled to a stop in the station, passengers getting up from their seats then. I stretched, nearly moaning as I felt the joints in my spine pop. Ah it was good to move again.

"We'll stop here for the night. East City isn't for another two days anyway." Edward said as we hopped off the train. Oh, so we weren't at Central yet? Lovely, but where were we going to stay? Did they have friends here or something?

"You just don't want to face the Colonel yet, do you, Brother?" Alphonse said accusingly. Edward tensed at that, looking even more sour than usual. I glanced up at Alphonse as we walked. New questions forming in my brain as it tinkered away.

"The Colonel?" I asked, curious. Alphonse glanced down at me.

"That's right, he's Ed's superior. He's the one that funds our search." Alphonse said. More questions popped into my head. What was it they were searching for? Who was this guy exactly? Why didn't Edward like him? Before I could get any questions out though, Edward stopped walking.

"This should be good." He said, thinking out loud. I looked up, noticing it was an Inn we had stopped at. Oh shit, that wasn't good. How was I going to pay for this? I didn't have any money! Not to mention the currency looked different, if the price on the door was anything to consider.

"Um," I began, not walking forward when the two did. They looked back at me, I scratched my head. "I guess I'll see you guys in the morning?"

They both glanced at each other, then looked to me.

"What are you talking about?" Edward asked. "You're staying with us for the night."

My eyes widened, were they seriously going to pay for me to stay here?

"O-Oh you have no obligation to that!" I insisted, pushing my hands out in front of me. "Besides, I'm used to sleeping outside. I used to do it all the time when I was younger."

Okay, it was in my backyard and I clung to Brayden like a monkey, but still, it counted for something! Right?

"Really Erin," Alphonse began. Oh that adorable voice made me melt! "It's no problem. We promised to get you to Dublith, but that doesn't mean you have to tough it out until then."

"Oh..." I began, looking down. A faint blush flitting over my cheeks. "...Thank you..."

_Such kindness..._

Edward asked for two rooms, but he was only able to snag a suite with two bedrooms. It was even more expensive! When we walked to the room, I was half expecting them to slam the door shut in my face. Maybe even tease me, make me do something ridiculous for the room. I was so used to it, in fact I hesitated in the threshold and inspected it for traps. They looked at me, and I expected them to shoo me away.

They did no such thing.

_Such kindness..._

"Alright, Al and I will take this room, and this one is all yours." Edward said, motioning into the next room. I stared at him, surprised. I thought I would be getting the couch for sure.

"A-Are you sure? I can sleep on the couch...?" I offered, glancing into the room. A really comfy looking bed sat in there. I'm sure Alphonse would like it more so he could get rid of his armor. Said boy laughed, looking down at his brother.

"It's alright Erin. You can sleep in there. It's not like I need a bed anyways- I-I mean I'm okay staying with Brother, right?!" He sounded antsy, but I didn't press.

_Such kindness... I wasn't used to it at all._

"Alright, goodnight and..." I looked at them both, my cheeks feeling a little hot with embarrassment. My eyes wandered to my feet. "I promise to pay you guys back somehow. Equivalent exchange and all that, right?"

They didn't say anymore about the subject, just wished me goodnight.

I walked into my room and shut the door, feeling tired despite my long nap a few hours ago. I undid my skinny jeans and let them drop to the floor. My boy cut panties looked almost like shorts anyways, it wasn't like I was wearing a thong. Then I undid my bra and let that drop too. The built in bra of my tank top held my tiny girls up well enough, so I pulled off my sports jacket and curled it all up on the floor.

It was only then that I realized how self conscious I was, at home I would be in a bra and panties and not think twice. My brother often only wore boxers too. Auntie was similar, though she covered her tummy. We just didn't really care about that kind of stuff. Auntie always told us about how she was the one to help my Mother change our first diapers. She joked about how horrible Dad was at holding us too.

Being in the same crib, wearing the same clothes, sharing the same bath... Brayden and I didn't have any boundaries. We were there for each other, with each other, every step of our journey. I sometimes wondered if we would ever part ways. The only reason I survive school was because of Brayden, because he beat anybody who made me cry. Which was a lot.

When I turned fourteen though, I told him I needed to grow up a bit. I entered a different high school than him, and suddenly he got a whole bunch of girlfriends and friends in general. Part of me knew all along, I was holding him back. He often asked how my school was. I would lie and say it was fine, but I think he always knew it wasn't.

I remembered him coming to my school one day, and he beat the tar out of this one bully. The four more ganged up on him, so I joined in. We both had a few bruises, but we won. I told him that, as his big sister, I was supposed to protect him. He was always insistent that brothers protect their sisters first.

I suppose after that, I sort of became a brawler. People would call me names from afar, but I beat them when they got too close. Despite me knowing that wouldn't stop the names, I still swung my fists. I sucked at sports, so I needed something to alleviate stress. From there I learned many hobbies, but I never let Brayden know how bad school was again.

I never wanted him to look so sad again.

It took a moment for me to realize that I had been crying. My eyes felt a little puffy as I tried to wipe away the tears. A few sniffles escaped my lips.

_"There is always someone worse off than you."_

For some reason, right now, I doubted that.

"How stupid am I? Crying about home at a time like this...!" I cursed at myself, whispering my scolding. Ashamed I was, at my weak self for crying at something I couldn't have right now.

Looking down, I noticed a light on the floor. A long shine that came from an open door. Looking back at the crack, I noticed Alphonse standing there. He looked at me, I felt embarrassment wash over me again as I tried to furiously wipe at the tears.

"S-Sorry, did you need something Alphonse?" I asked, half sobbing still. Alphonse walked into the room, the light from in the living room shining in and on me, making me wince. Al stood there, still in his armor. The light shone off of it, creating a silhouette that didn't quite

"Can I come in?" He asked, sounding somber. I only nodded, hearing him walk in and sit on the bed next to me. There was a quiet for a moment, but finally he spoke again.

"Were you thinking of home?" He asked softly.

"Yeah," I began once I stopped crying, but my eyes never left the ground as I curled to sit on my knees. "I haven't been there for a little while, I want to go back, but I can't, because..."

Because it's on there other side of the gate.

It was silent for a bit, but Alphonse seemed to have understood that I wasn't going to explain any further. Instead, he spoke up again.

"It's okay to miss home," Alphonse said, making me look up at him. He gazed back down at me. "I miss home too sometimes."

This I didn't understand, if he missed it? Why didn't he go back?

"Then why don't you go back?" I asked, confused. Alphonse looked down to his own hands then, as though a memory flashed before his eyes.

"Because it doesn't exist anymore," He said finally. My eyes widened as my stomach dropped. "Because we lost our home a long time ago."

No home.

No place to return to.

... _Forever._..?

My chest throbbed, what if Auntie and Brayden were gone? What would I _do_. My eyes blurred again at the very thought. To have no one to greet you at home, no one waiting with a smile, with worry about where you've been.

I couldn't imagine a world without that.

Without meaning to, I started to cry again. Slowly, I leaned forward until my head rested against the cool metal on his upper arm. I hadn't even realized, but my wish had come true.

_ 'For once, I wanted to see somebody worse off than myself, I wanted to know that I wasn't in the worse shape possible, that I could have it worse.'_

Words couldn't describe the regret I had, for ever wishing such a thing.

"I'm sorry."

Though I wasn't sure whether it was for thinking such things, or their situation. Either way, I felt remorse for him and Ed.

"Please forgive me."

* * *

(Edward)

He had been standing outside her door when she and Al were talking. He hadn't really thought too much about her crying. It'd been a lot to take in for one day, maybe she was just stressed. Yet he couldn't deny the sorrow that swept over him as she begged for forgiveness. Like it was all her fault that they had had such faults in life.

As he laid in bed, Al sitting against the wall across the room, he thought about home. About his Mother, and the warmth she used to spread. A pressure fell on his gut at the memory, a longing spread through him. How he wished to return to simpler times.

"Ed?" Al asked, seeing if he was awake.

"What is it?" He asked, half put out to be pulled from his thoughts. Al looked down, thinking about Erin. He had stayed until she fell asleep against his arm, before lying her down and covering her with a blanket. He didn't linger in fear of waking her, and soon the brothers had retreated to their own room.

"Do you remember home?" He asked suddenly. Ed's eyes narrowed at that, the feeling of longing growing in his stomach. Of course he remembered, memories were flashing rapidly through his mind.

"Yeah..." He said, but was only half alert as the memories swarmed his brain. Al looked at him, thinking out loud.

"Do you think it still smells like flowers and fresh grass? Do the hills still look the same?" Al asked, making Ed uncomfortable.

"How should I know?" He snapped, annoyed that his brother was eliciting such painfully warm memories. "It's probably the same boring place as before, I doubt anything has changed at all!"

With that, he closed the conversation by rolling over to his side to face the wall. Al looked down, sad that Ed was only hurt by remembering such a place. Ed wore a pained expression as he stared at the wall. The memories no ceasing even after an hour of silence.

Yes, he hoped home was still the same. He remembered every part of it clearly, but each time he thought of it, the pain in his gut grew worse.

Home didn't exist anymore for them, so why did he still think it was in Resembool?

* * *

**Author's Note!**

**Hey guys! Wow I go away for two days and suddenly I've got more reviews! Wow you guys are so awesome!  
**

**So I'm really hoping I'm portraying the characters correctly, at first I was almost debating Ed comforts Erin, but then I realized that wouldn't be like him, thank goodness for Al! So I hope that this chapter explains Erin a little bit better, I'm trying to do things as slowly as possible! Also, I have been re-reading chapters now, and have noticed quite a few mistakes, however, I plan to go back and edit some time around chapter 10. I really really really want to get my plot rolling first! I fear if I don't the plot will be lost to me! **

**Yeah, my memory sucks, oh well. **

**So I'm aiming to update this story up to chapter 10 as soon as possible, but then it'll probably slow to once or twice a week once summer comes around since I'll be gone most weekends and possibly whole weeks due to horse shows and such! **

**I've already thought out the next three chapters at about 3 am this morning since I couldn't sleep! So hopefully it turns out as awesome as I think it is! **

**Also, a huge thanks to LeFay and AuthorChick96 for reviewing! Love ya'll! LeFay I plan to watch Brotherhood as soon as I buy the box set! I've seen tidbits of it this morning and am hooked!**

**So everybody who thinks Ed in a dress is adorable should review!  
**

**Because we all know he would be drop dead sexy!**

**Cheers!**

_Iland Girl_


	6. The H Word is Foreign

**THE OUTSIDER**

* * *

_by_ Iland Girl

"_For those without 'purpose'."_

A Fullmetal Alchemist Fanfiction

_I don't own anybody but Erin, Auntie, and Brayden... for now..._

* * *

**_Chapter 5  
_**

_"The H Word Is Foreign"_

* * *

_"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity." _  
_ ― Paulo Coelho, Alchemist _

* * *

(Erin)

_It was so bright when I opened my eyes. _

_At first I thought I was lying in bed, the sun's rays catching my face. _

_Then I realized that there was no sun, nor a bed, nor a room. _

_I was standing up too, making me feel wide awake as I looked around. When I caught sight of it though, my heart skipped a beat. _

_The Gate..._

_Right in front of me, I realized too late that it had opened. In a feeble attempt to run, I turned to take off. Tiny hands grabbed at me though, dragging me in. _

_"No! I don't wanna go back in there! NO!" I screamed, but the doors slammed shut and I was held in the darkness. Those creatures were gnawing at me again, the feeling of them coming back so vividly. _

_Get off me...!_

_My body wouldn't move though._

_I screamed, again and again.  
_

_They ate my legs first, my breaths coming out harsh as I felt it all. Like I was slowly rotting. The smell of my blood falling everywhere was awful. _

Get off me!

_They ate my arms next, I cried even louder as they bit into my throat, the blood washing over me as they dropped me on the black ground. The only thing I could see were those eyes, purple and wide. They were mocking me, enjoying every minute of my torture. _

**"GET OFF OF ME!"**

* * *

(Erin)

I woke in a cold sweat.

My body trembled as I looked around frantically. Adrenaline faded as I recognized the outlining of the Inn's room. My memory brought me back to the present, I looked out the window. The sky was dark, but I could see the stars clearly from here.

Fearful to fall back asleep, I slowly got to my feet. The patter of my footsteps nearly inaudible as I made my way closer to the door. Quietly, I snuck out of it, hopeful not to wake the brothers. I crept to the really large window in the living room, pushing a chair to turn around so I could sit and stare at the night sky.

Warm memories filled my belly as I recalled doing the same with Mother.

_"And that's Orion's Belt! You remember the story or Orion, right Rinny?" Mom looked down at my tiny hands, holding one to point out the belt of Orion. I giggled a little, nodding. _

_"The best friend of Artemis! The Greek Goddess of the Hunt! He was killed and put up there by Artemis, making him able to watch over her and see her everyday!" I said with a smile. This was my favorite story to hear at bed time, the Greek Mythology was fascinating. Mother smile in a way only Mother's can, before cuddling me close to her. I fit perfectly into her side, smiling as she coddled me. _

_"One day I'm going to be up there too, and I'll be watching you until you join me." She said warmly, but I couldn't help the pang I felt at those words. _

_"You're not leaving soon, are you Mom?" I asked, concerned. She laughed at me, kissing my forehead. _

_"No, I'll be here until you turn old and grey." _

_"Promise?" _

_She laughed. _

_"I promise."_

My eyes watered a little at the memory, but the warmth I felt kept them at bay. I remembered the feeling of her arms around me, the warmth of her touch. Those nights were one of the few nights I got to spend alone with her. Auntie and Brayden were off that day to his soccer game. I had broken my left leg, so I couldn't go further than the backyard to look at the stars.

I silently located as many constellations and stars that I could remember. There was a happy feeling inside of me when I realized that the stars here and the stars at home were one in the same. A smile broke out across my lips as I recalled each and every story Mother ever told me. I reached to the Northern star, as though trying to grasp it.

_"When you make a promise, promise on the Northern Star." _

_"Why Mommy?" _

_"Because it is the light that shines the brightest in the dark. And it will be the star to bring you where you want to be."_

I clasped my hand, as though clutching the star with all my might.

"I promise."

I promise that I'll be strong for you.

* * *

(Edward)

When he awoke, Al had greeted him happily. Yet he didn't feel the same cheeriness. The memories of last night still haunted him, making him rethink trying to fake a smile.

As he went to go and wake Erin, he realized that her door was open. At first he worried she ran off, but then he noticed one of the chairs turned to wrong way in the living room. Walking over to the large armchair, he peaked around it. What had saw almost put a smile on his face.

Erin had come out during the night, possibly thinking like he had been. The way she fell asleep though... her head shoved against the glass of the window. It looked horribly uncomfortable, but she looked fast asleep from what he could tell. She always had her hair in her face though, it was hard to tell what she was thinking.

He thought to brush the hair out of her face, but at the last second he decided against it. Al came in the room, so instead he reached to gently shake her shoulder. She actually let out a growl.

"Hey," He began softly. "We're leaving."

She lifted her head as he retracted his hand, looking over to him with only her one eye visible. It was half lidded, looking a smoldered grey as though she couldn't see anything.

"Five more minutes Bray." She muttered, leaning down again against the window. Ed felt a little confused, who was she mistaking him for? Al didn't move from where he was though, so Ed tried again.

"C'mon, we can't leave without you." He added, only because he'd promised to get her to Dublith. She grumbled something, sounding irritated.

"Go away... Shortie."

WHAT?!

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SMALLER THAN A PEA?!"

At that statement, Erin rocketed backwards into the chair, flipped it over, and fell on the ground in a heap. She rolled over quickly, onto her belly, before looking up at them.

"Oh..." She looked to Ed, a faint blush on her cheeks. "Eheh, I'm sorry. I thought you were..." She trailed off, shaking her head. "Never mind, you said we had to go?"

Ed was still a little irked at her, so he turned around while snapping.

"Yeah, and if you don't get up we're going to leave without you!" He called, stomping out of the room.

"Please don't mind Brother, he's just sensitive about his height." Al tried to explain, making Ed fume as he reappeared in the doorway.

"Am not!" He shouted, but he felt taken aback by Erin. She didn't hold a scowl, or a sneer. Instead her lips were curved up into a soft smile, her one visible eye was reached by said smile. She had a strange warmth surrounding her then.

Confused and unsure what else to say, Ed looked away. He walked away too after reminding them to hurry.

* * *

(Erin)

Our train was ready to go when we got there. We barely stepped on before it took off. There were a lot less people on this train, but I still felt cramped.

Edward seemed to have dubbed me 'clean', since he decided to sit next to me instead of squished against his brother. Unfortunately he picked the train ride where I was so incredibly stiff to do so. Thus, I was trying everything in the book to make him sit next to his brother.

"Edward, I wouldn't sit next to me." I had begun with, but he just glance at me.

"Why not?"

"Because..." Oh, I hadn't gotten this far. So turning to him with a straight face, I admitting. "I have a deranged mutation of lice and fleas."

He looked at me blankly.

"I'm serious," I insisted, rolling along with my story. "At night they drink your blood and make my hair all grimy. You look like you're pretty tanned. Well I'm not because I suffer from blood loss constantly, as you can see."

"Erin," Alphonse said as soon as I stopped talking. I looked over to him, my stomach gurgling with glee. A hot crossed bun! A giant one at that! "I bought you some breakfast, I hope you're hungry."

Lord I was famished.

I nearly ate right out of Alphonse's hand. I took the bun with glee, eating just as rapidly as Edward did next to me when Alphonse handed him one. Okay, until I finished this, I suppose Edward could sit there. Once I was halfway done though, I realized Alphonse had yet to eat.

"Uh, aren't you eating?" I asked, confused. Alphonse shook his head though, sounding nervous when he spoke.

"Uh no! I... already ate some when I bought them!" He insisted.

"He's not lying," Edward added between bites. "I saw him stuff about four down before we got on the train."

My eyes widened as I looked from the older brother to the younger. Then they narrowed.

"You ate four and only gave us one each?" I hissed, making Alphonse gulp. "Where's your sense of equivalency in that?"

"Uh-Uh..." Alphonse stuttered, but then I chuckled, putting on a smile.

"Relax Alphonse, I'm only joking." I said, before I continued to eat my bun. The nursery rhyme playing in my head as I did so.

About ten minutes later, Edward and I had finished our breakfasts, and with a full belly my desire to spread out became too much.

"Okay, so are you going to move or bear the precaution of getting mutated fleas?" I asked in a dead serious voice. Edward looked at me again just as blankly as the first time.

"If you had fleas, you'd be itching beyond belief." He pointed out. Dammit! How could I forget?!

"C'mon! Sit on your brother's lap or something! I wanna lay down! My neck hurts." I began, rubbing the sore part. Edward snorted.

"Not my fault you fell asleep against a window." He pointed out. I glared before standing up. "Hey what are you doing?"

"I'm going to lay down." I said finally, stepping over Alphonse's legs. "Thanks for breakfast Alphonse, that was really nice of you."

"Your welcome!" Alphonse said in a chipper tone. I glanced at Edward, glaring that he laid down across the bench. With evil eyes I looked down with narrowed slits to his tanned face.

"Oh look, at least you're short enough that you can fit on the seat."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MICROSCOPIC PIPSQUEAK?!"

* * *

(Erin)

"Damn that boy!" I winced, rubbing my left ear. It felt swollen and sensitive from how loudly he had shouted in it. I ended up having to switch cars just to get away from the brat.

To the plus side, the next car over was damn near empty. Score! I was able to lounge across the seat, begrudgingly fitting almost as good as Edward did. Perhaps I should take Alex's advice on wearing heels...

Alex...

Dammit.

"Hey Ma'am, are you all alone?"

Looking up, I saw a small boy standing in front of me. Sitting up, I raised a brow at him.

"Uh, yeah?" I asked. To my surprise he smiled and sat down across from me.

"Great! I'm alone too see, and I was hoping to find a pretty girl alone too to sit with!"

What was with this kid? He barely looked ten! My eyes narrowed as I recalled all my visits to foreign countries. I probably looked foreign, with my overly light features and clothing.

"I don't have any belongings for you to swindle from me buddy, nor any money." I snapped, making him laugh.

"Lady if I wanted that from you I would've just taken it." He giggled out, making me sit up and look at him.

"Okay bub, what's your deal then?" I asked, confused. The boy shrugged.

"My Sister and I got in a fight. She said I couldn't talk to a pretty girl and get her to smile." He said, jabbing a thumb down to the row. I noticed a girl around my age watching us closely.

"Oh?" I asked, smirking. "What if I don't want to smile?"

He grinned at that, laughing again.

"I'm Leo Collier! What's your name?" He asked, holding his hand out to shake. I was careful not to smile while I answered.

"Erin Lallier." I introduced, forcing a smile down. He beamed again.

"Well Miss Erin Lallier, my Mom told me the best way to make a girl smile is to compliment them on their looks." He said, but then I frowned.

"Well your Mother's pretty superficial then." I pointed out, making him raise a brow.

"Oh?"

"What really matters is what's inside. You should like someone, even love them, for what's inside. Sometimes to be pretty on the inside, you lose face value." I said, feeling rather insightful.

"You're really cool, y'know?" He teased, grinning. "Pretty and smart, do you have a boyfriend?"

"Nope, I don't want or need one." I said, watching the way his overly tanned skin closed around his bright blue eyes.

"Well I bet that you're one tough cookie! You seem like a really good person."

To that I smiled.

"You think so?"

Hey...

"Ah! You little rat!" I exclaimed, watching as he laughed while pointing at me.

"Gotcha! But I really mean it Ma'am, you're a very nice person. You didn't yell at me when I sat down either!"

I raised a brow, but then smiled again before ruffling his hair.

"You're a funny kid, you know that?" I asked, but Leo just smiled, switching to a different topic. For some odd reason, I didn't mind him sticking around. Even after I had succumbed to lying down, he still chattered away. Eventually he said goodbye when his sister called him back. I watched him go, noticing another man was staring at me, but I just wavered it as curiosity. Then I closed my eyes and I fell asleep again on the train.

* * *

(Erin)

"We're stopping again for the night."

I opened my eyes to see Edward standing above me. Alphonse stood behind him. I stood up, stretched, then followed them silently off of the train.

I felt a little groggy as I walked behind the brothers. My head slumped a little, wanting to go back to sleep after being woken so suddenly. I stopped for a moment to rub my eyes, but when I opened them I became alert right away.

"Edward...Alphonse?"

Where did they go?!

I ran around the first corner I saw, but came face to face with a dead end alley way. Dammit! This wasn't good. A nervousness enveloped me now, making me shiver a little.

Then it started to rain.

"Great, just great! This day couldn't get any f-"

"Lallier."

When I heard my last name, my first reaction was to turn towards it.

"Yeah wh-"

I was cut off when a blade grazed my cheek. My eyes widened in shock as I touched the bleeding, broken skin. Looking up the alleyway, I noticed a man standing there. He walked a little closer, and I could recognize him as the man from the train.

Wait a minute... he was walking closer!

I took a step back, he took two forwards.

Spinning on my heel, I ran as fast as I could. More knives were thrown, I dodged a lot of them as I raced down the alleyway.

Only after did I remember it was a dead end.

I slammed into the wall, then turned around and faced the man. He held one huge ass sword in his hands, making me tremble even more as he walked towards me.

Anger flooded my veins, the feeling of being cornered revving me to do _something_. So I ran at him, trying to punch, kick, claw, anything that would work. Yet in my fearful state, I was so incredibly weak. He tossed me backwards without my effort, my head hit the wall pretty hard. My knees began to buckle as he stared at me.

"Why..." My voice was so small. I gulped before shouting a bit louder. "Why are you coming after me?!"

He was quiet as he got a little bit closer. I tried to punch him, but he slammed my wrist into the wall. I winced as I felt something shift in it.

"Your eyes," He began, the objects he mentioned were wide then with shock. He poised his blade to stab me, but I was frozen. "They're the same."

My eyes... but he-

Familiar blue sparks could be seen from the corner of my vision, the brick that I leaned on giving way to build up in front of me instead. With nothing to lean on, I fell backwards.

"Gotcha!"

Looking up, I noticed big arms had circled me. Alphonse looked down at me, I imagined him smiling. I couldn't return the gesture though, my whole body shaking.

"Come on, we gotta meet up with Brother!" Alphonse said, I nodded hesitantly as we ran around the back of the street. Edward nearly slammed into us when we met on a main road.

"Where did he go?" Alphonse asked. Edward shook his head.

"The prick, he took off as soon as I intervened." Edward grumbled, looking displeased. I felt a shiver still course through me as I tried to keep a level head.

I'm okay now, I'm safe now.

'_But you almost died_.'

My eyes closed tight, my fists clenched, and my whole body went rigid as I tried to forget that it even happened.

"And you," Edward's voice brought me back. I looked into those molten pits of gold, so angry looking. "Are you an idiot? Why did you wander off like that?"

Wander? I did no such thing. I've never really been told to stick with someone. When I went out, I was usually on my own, there was no where to wander off to if you were all alone.

I looked down, not able to take those intense orbs.

"Ed!" Alphonse scolded, but I shook my head.

"No, he's right," I said, looking up to him. After all, he had saved my life. I owed him even more now. "I'm sorry."

This time Edward couldn't look at me, instead he looked down at my body.

"We should get you to a hospital." He said, making me look down too. My body was riddled with cuts, I hadn't even noticed how torn my jacket had gotten until then. I felt my face, it came back with quite the amount of blood. My left wrist felt funny, it was blue around the joint.

"No, just some bandages." I insisted.

"But you're-"

"Really Alphonse," I cut in quietly. "I'll be fine."

So why couldn't I stop shaking?

* * *

(Erin)

I slowly wrapped my wounds.

My arms were in the worst shape, forearms rather bloody. I washed some water over them before letting them dry and bandaging them. The brothers watched me as I did so slowly, calmly.

"Can you tell me why that guy attacked you?" Edward asked, leaning forward slightly in his seat. I remained quiet as I tied off the last of the bandages. Reaching to my face with a damp cloth to clean the blood.

"Please Erin, tell us." Alphonse added. I glanced at him, but then looked back to the floor and continued my work.

"Erin," Edward began in a softer tone. "We can't help you if you don't help us."

There was something about the way he worded it that just... it just pissed me off. A snort escaped my lips as I dropped the cloth back into a bloody bowl of what was once clean water. My eyes strayed to the golden orbs that stared ta me intensely.

"Equivalent exchange right? I help you and you help me?" My eyes narrowed. "Do you see everything that way?"

Edward's brow furrowed then, looking a little confused and frustrated.

"Of course, to gain something you have to lose something of equal value. It's the law of equivalency." He said it so certain of his words. I looked down at the bloody bowl then, a scowl pulling tight across my face. How could he call that true?

"How can it be true?" I glared at him, frustration evident in my tone. "How can you stand behind such a phony rule?!"

"Erin..." Alphonse began, sounding a little taken aback. Edward glared at me, but didn't press as I snapped.

"What if that man had killed me? What would I have gained? What about all those people who work so hard for something, who try to protect something with both arms, and then are broken down in a single blow? What about them?! What have they gained?"

I stood up, glaring at the bloody bowl again.

"And what about both of you? Why did you help me? You didn't do this out of the kindness of your hearts." I hissed.

"We did!" Alphonse interjected. "Erin we did it because-"

"Because you thought there was something to gain, or are you throwing your equivalency out the window? People can believe what they want, but let's face the facts. Life isn't fair, there is no such thing as equal trade. No balance."

I closed my eyes, willing away the waterworks.

"I'm sorry, but the only thing I can offer is to not bother you both anymore."

With that said, I grabbed my coat before walking towards the door.

"Erin-!" Alphonse called.

"Let her go." Edward said softly as I grabbed the door knob. Something twisted in my gut as I opened the door before slamming it behind me. The Inn we had found was far from the site the man had been, and maybe going outside while he was still around was a bad idea, but right now logic escaped me.

Life wasn't fair.

I could hide from it all I wanted, but it would come back and hit me anyways. I could tell that Edward didn't like me, and I had a feeling Alphonse would come to love even his worst enemy given enough time. With these thoughts in mind, I took off down the street in a blind rage, running for God knows how long.

* * *

**Author's Note!**

**Hey guys! Well here is another chapter by le me! Hope you all like it! Since I don't have school right now I am so going full out on this while I can! Full steam ahead and all that jazz!  
**

**So I know a couple of people are probably wondering about Erin and her temper towards equivalency. I suppose you could say she stems from realism that her Auntie has taught her. She tries not to get swept up in fantasies that what she's lost will one day come back, and she doesn't believe too much in dreams coming true. Which is why whenever she does get caught up in a fantasy, she slaps it out of her head right away in fear of being disappointed.  
**

**For those who don't know, the H word is Help!**

**Well, hope everybody had a good day! It's raining here right now and I really don't wanna go to work... sigh, but I must!**

**Cheers!**

_Iland Girl_


	7. Equivalency

**THE OUTSIDER**

* * *

_by_ Iland Girl

"_For those without 'purpose'."_

A Fullmetal Alchemist Fanfiction

_I don't own anybody but Erin, Auntie, and Brayden... for now..._

* * *

**_Chapter 6  
_**

_"Equivalency"_

* * *

_"Equality is not a concept. It's not something we should be striving for. It's a necessity. Equality is like gravity. We need it to stand on this earth as men and women, and the misogyny that is in every culture is not a true part of the human condition. It is life out of balance, and that imbalance is sucking something out of the soul of every man and woman who's confronted with it. We need equality. Kinda now." _  
_ ― Joss Whedon_

* * *

(Erin)

When I stopped running, my whole body was in pain.

That was an hour ago. Since then, I had been seated on a bench in the middle of a park. It was quiet outside, not a soul was alive as I sat there under a street lamp. The cool wind blew by me, making me shiver a little as I stared out into the dark.

The darkness had always been something to fear, when I was a tiny tot, I had clung to my brother when we slept. I was always afraid of the most ridiculous things. Brother always acted brave, but now that I think about it, he was afraid too. Yet all that time, he'd put on a brave face and acted like nothing could make him shake.

I dug circles in the dirt with my big toe, looking down at my handy work.

Home was really far away right now, yet I could almost taste it. It was just past my fingertips, just beyond my reach. And it hurt so much to know that I couldn't reach for it yet. A fowl aftertaste was left in my mouth in the memories that followed me from home. Gingerly, I touched my scar, and the memories flooded forth.

I remembered when I first entered high school. Nobody had seen my scar yet, I had also began to talk to Alex via text thanks to a mutual friend of Brayden's. To be honest, I was feeling pretty good. A few girls seemed to like me, calling me the adorable shy girl of their little clicks. They tried to pull back my hair, but I wouldn't let them.

Sometime later, they got fed up with my 'super shy games'. They cut my bangs to nothing, forcing me to show my scar. People laughed, making jokes about the ugly girl. I did the only thing I knew how to do, I looked at the ground and blocked it all out.

Well, it worked, for a little while things felt better.

I remember one of my first high school crushes. He seemed like a really nice guy, and once my hair grew back I got the nerve to talk to him. Turns out nice guys are only nice to pretty girls, because he said he never looks twice at ugly girls. One of his friends had started to Scarface name calling, mocking me everytime I saw him.

There were a lot of days that I didn't want to keep going to school, but each time I went to tell Auntie what was wrong, Mother's voice would ring loud and clear in my ears.

"_If something is broken, fix it. If you can't do it alone, ask for help. And if you still can't fix it, it was always meant to be."_

I didn't know how to fix this though, so I continued in silence.

And I refused to believe I was always meant to be known to the world as Scarface.

"So Edward, where's the equivalency in all that?" I spat out, glaring at the dirt. What did people gain in life other than sorrow? What would they gain by giving up such things as money and food to others? Showing kindness out of the bottom of their hearts? No, they are always looking for something in return. It was how the world was _supposed_ to work. If you gave something up, you'd gain something in return.

People give up their well being to help others who don't even deserve it. They live and die for a cause they don't understand, bleed for people who don't deserve such kindness. Yet through all that, they expect something in return, they expected payment for their good deeds in one form or another.

The world isn't perfect though, because nobody gets something from everything.

Funny, I remembered having this conversation with my Father a while back.

_"Daddy!" I cried, burying my face in his lap. Father stroked my head, sighing softly as he watched me cry. "I want to see Ginger again!" _

_Ginger, my pet cat, had been hit by a car only days before. I cried for a long time, Brayden calling me a crybaby and running off. For some reason he felt he need to hide his tears, but I always knew when he went off just to cry alone. _

_"Ginger is gone sweetie, and she can't come back." He said softly. It wasn't fair though! My cat lost her life, and for what? Some stupid driver who couldn't look where they were going?!_

_"It's not fair!" I cried again, but Daddy continued to softly brush my head. He always stroked my hair to calm me down, I liked it a lot. _

_"But it is Darling. Ginger's time was up. It was time for her to go." He picked me up, sitting me in his lap. I wiped my tears, looking up at him with curiosity._

_"Sometimes life teaches us lessons in the cruelest of ways. If you think of it this way, up until the end Ginger was a very happy cat." He said, watching me with light grey eyes. _

_"She was a fat cat." I said between sniffles. Dad chuckled. _

_"Yes, and very fat. But you see my dear, Ginger had been happy all her life. She got to live, something we cannot do on our own. We are given life, and in exchange, we must eventually give it back. It is the law of equivalency." He said softly, his deep voice gentle and kind. _

_"But that's scary! I don't want to die! I don't want Ginger to die either!" I cried, curling against his broad chest. He held me closer, sighing in my hair. _

_"It's one of the twists of life. We are given memory to learn, and learn we do. But sometimes we learn about other people, and sometimes those people leave us for good. It is the memories that we gained from those people that help mold who we are today, but it is also those memories that can hurt. Once again, an exchange. To remember hurts, but we do it anyways because it's worth it." _

_"Do you think Auntie does that for Uncle?" I asked, feeling him tense slightly, before hugging me closer. _

_"I think we all do it. You are doing it for Ginger too. You loved her, and you will remember her. And as long as you do, you will feel pain, but perhaps you should know, there is something that Ginger gained by passing away." He said, stroking my hair again. _

_"What is that?" I asked, confused. _

_"Silence." _

_My eyes widened as I looked up to father. His warm smile, his words, it opened a new perspective to me. _

_"Ginger no longer has the worries or fears of being a part of this world. She has no stress, no needs. She can rest forever, and nobody can do anything to her. I think she's safer now than ever before."_

I remembered that day quite vividly. We had been sitting outside on the porch during a thunderstorm. I couldn't for the life of me stop crying.

That memory opened the old door again. One I had locked away, and supposedly thrown away the key.

_"Oh Erin," Mother said, holding my scarred cheek. "Please don't look so sad." _

_But I couldn't make a muscle on my face move. I had lost all my friends just because of an injury. A hideous injury that made my eye and half my face all scabby and bloody whenever I smiled. It was okay though, I didn't feel the need to smile again. _

_"Look at me dear," Mother insisted, waiting patiently for me to turn to her. I did so after a few minutes. "You can never give up." _

_"But-" _

_"Never," She said adamantly. "Erin, there will always be people that are beautiful. Some are beautiful on the surface, and other on the inside. I believe that this little tiny itty bitty scar? Maybe it's made you a little tiny bit less attractive on the outside, but I know Erin, that it will be this scar that makes you a beautiful person on the inside."_

_I had looked at her like she was the elixir of life, and I doubt she had any idea just how much I truly wanted to believe her words. _

_"Sometimes, you have to lose something on the outside to gain it on the inside."_

_Then, she kissed my scarred eye. _

_I cried._

Equivalent exchange.

I think I understood what Edward and Alphonse were thinking when they believed such a lie. There was equivalency, just not always visible to the naked eye.

Then why did they really bring me along? For an exchange? Were they hoping to gain something in return? No, but it wasn't just a random need to help me. In fact Edward didn't agree until... until...

_"I don't have parents... Well I mean I do, just they aren't around anymore. Furthermore, I don't live here... or anywhere... I've been traveling on foot, but I've never been to any large cities and well..."_

My eyes widened as I understood. The looks in their eyes when I spoke, they weren't thinking about me, but their own pasts. No home to run to, no parents to guide them... Their equivalency was a reprieve, a pull from their own mistakes. A way to stop someone else from making the same mistakes and feeling the same way.

I closed my eyes, and settled my face in my hands. How stupid could I be? These two had been through more than I could imagine, the way they carried themselves... they were so strong! I could never imagine carrying their burdens, and yet they kept going! And here I am, snapping at them, insulting them, and for what? For my own pride?

Worse.

Because I was a coward.

It was because I was afraid they would suddenly stop helping me. Leave me alone in a world I knew nothing of. I wasn't used to such kindness, but I wouldn't get to be if I kept acting like this.

Slowly, I stood up before making my way back the way I came.

* * *

(Erin)

I went to sneak in quietly, hopefully I could apologize to them in the morning. However that plan went out the window when I saw that they were sitting on the couches. Both brothers glanced up at me when I walked in the door. My eyes widened as I stared at them owlishly. Then my grey orbs darted to the ground in an attempt to avoid their stares.

"I'm sorry!" I spat out before they could speak, if they were going to. Finally I looked back up to them, surprised to see them looking at me curiously.

"I know it's not my place to be so rude. You've both been kind to me, and I want to say thank you for everything you've done. And I promise you guys, I will make it up to you both somehow!" I said in one long winded explanation. Alphonse looked to Edward, so my eyes traveled to him too. He stared at me with those golden eyes, digging into the depths of my very soul.

He looked away.

"Jeez, what's with the long winded speeches? You're sorry and that's that." He said it like it was a huge hassle. Despite his tone, I couldn't pull the huge smile off of my face. He looked back at me, a small smile on his face. "Besides, we promised to get you to Dublith, and we will."

Accepting my apology.

Keeping his promise.

I doubt Edward knew what he'd just did.

* * *

**Author's Note!**

**So... I've been hearing crickets lately... Dunno if y'all know what that means, but for me it means my review box is virtually empty...  
**

**A huge thanks to the Guest who wrote a review though! You're my idol! lol **

**Anyways, let's see if I can break a record and write _four_ chapters in _one day_! **

**If you guys review, maybe I'll make it five!**

**Cheers!**

_Iland Girl_


	8. A Trade

**THE OUTSIDER**

* * *

_by_ Iland Girl

"_For those without 'purpose'."_

A Fullmetal Alchemist Fanfiction

_I don't own anybody but Erin, Auntie, and Brayden... for now..._

* * *

**_Chapter 7  
_**

_"A Trade"_

* * *

_"We're all human, aren't we? Every human life is worth the same, and worth saving."  
― J.K. Rowling, __ Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows _

* * *

(Edward)

They were finally in East City.

For some reason, Ed felt a three day travel wasn't long enough. There should've been more time stopping him from meeting with the Colonel. In fact he wouldn't have minded Erin running off again, delaying their arrival even more. He asked her if she would, to which she just gave him a confused face before he dropped it.

The duo waited outside as Edward walked into the Colonel's office.

Said Colonel was currently busy washing the windows. Edward snorted, the guy would do anything to avoid doing paperwork. He sat down on one of the couches, watching Roy take note of him. Hawkeye had told him to go right in, unfortunately Roy seemed in a despairingly chipper mood.

"Ah, Fullmetal, it's about time you decided to show up. I was expecting a report two days ago." Roy Mustang said as he sat back at his desk. Edward simply leaned back on the couch, leaning against his propped up arm on the armrest.

"I had a little run in with someone." He said vaguely. Roy sat stoically at his desk, Ed knew he had something up his sleeve.

"You mean that girl you and your brother walked into East City with?"

Dammit! How did he know?! Unless... Edward wanted to smack himself. Of course, the Colonel had been cleaning the windows, of course he would see them walk in!

"Yeah what of it?" Edward snapped, looking away with a frown. He had been caught, and although it wasn't a bad thing he was doing, it was still embarrassing to admit to. Roy smirked slightly, knowing this would give him the upper hand.

"I'm curious as to what her roll with you two is. Is she your new girlfriend, or Al's?" Roy teased, watching the pink roll across Ed's cheeks momentarily. That bastard and his dirty thoughts! Edward glared at the pervert.

"It's not like that!" He insisted, calming himself down a little. "We said we would escort her to Dublith to meet our teacher, that's all."

"Better make that quick then," Roy said, coming back to the stoic mask he always wore. "Because she's bound to catch on to you and Al."

Edward paused then, his eyes widening a fraction as he looked down to his boots. Roy knew Ed hadn't thought of this yet.

"What do you think will happen if she finds out about you and Al? Worse case scenario she runs away screaming in terror, and somebody actually believes her. Al would be shipped off as an experiment and you'd never see him again." Mustang said calmly, knowing full well it was a possibility.

"She..." Ed began, but then he stopped. She- what? He didn't know the girl well enough to know her patterns. He knew she cried a lot, and was excessively emotional sometimes, both weren't exactly sitting in favor for her. He knew Mustang was right, he just didn't want to admit it out loud.

"You know I'm right." Roy said, but Ed didn't look away from the floor. "Once you've taken her to Dublith, return immediately. I've got an assignment for you, one involving a little group of bandits kidnapping people."

That caught Edward's attention.

"There have been multiple train robberies, and kidnappings happening all around most of Eastern Amestris. The most recent one was near your home town."

Resembool...

"They're moving south Edward, and I don't know why they're kidnapping people, but whenever large quantities of people go missing the state goes into an uproar." Roy explained, looking down to his paper. It was quiet for a moment as Edward let the information sink in.

"They're abducting scientists."

Roy's eyes leaped up to look into Ed's. The molten gold clashed with onyx as they had a stare down.

"Scientists?" Roy asked. Ed nodded before he began to explain.

"Al and I were on a train, when they appeared. They kidnapped a man name Doctor Eastrin." He looked to the floor again, his brow creased in worry. He didn't notice Roy's eyes show a sliver of surprise.

"Doctor Eastrin?" Roy said in half surprise.

"It wasn't just the Doctor that was strange. The weaponry they used, I've never seen anything like it. There were no alchemical modifications, but it was so powerful..." Edward trailed off, remembering how he narrowly escaped one of the bullets.

"Ed," Roy said boldly, making the blond look up to him in mild surprise. "Do you know why they wanted Eastrin?"

Edward blinked for a moment, but then he realized that Mustang knew as well.

"Because of his research, probably."

"Which was...?"

Edward looked away for a moment, then back to Mustang.

"He was studying a different dimension."

* * *

(Erin)

"So who exactly is this superior of Edward's?" I asked, tired of twiddling my thumbs. Alphonse looked over to me, he too seemed bored.

"The Colonel? Oh, well I told you he's the one who funds our search, Ed became a state alchemist a while ago and we've been following the Colonel's orders ever since. But Ed doesn't like him very much because he likes to joke about Ed's height."

"Huh," I thought, looking to the roof as I slid down to wall to sit. "Already don't like him either."

Alphonse sat across from me, watching me for a bit.

"You said you wanted to learn Alchemy, right?" He asked suddenly catching me off guard as I looked at him with confusion evident on my face.

"Yeah...?"

"What about right now? Want to learn a little bit?" He offered. A huge grin set across my face then. I practically beamed.

"Really?! Oh yes I'd love to!" I said, sitting on my knees and readying myself to learn. Al laughed a little at my enthusiasm, but nonetheless began his lesson.

"Alright, since you already know the law of equivalency, you should know that applies directly to alchemy." He began, I nodded for him to continue. "In alchemy, your input must be the same value as your output. The raw materials you use will determine just how much you can create in the end."

I watched as he pulled out a piece of chalk before beginning to draw a circle.

"This is called a transmutation circle. There are many different types of circles, each one making it easier to preform certain types of alchemy. This is your standard circle, it can be used to do very basic alchemy."

This was so interesting, I couldn't look away as he continued.

"Alchemy has three steps. First, you must identify your raw materials. For example, this marble flooring is made up Calcite, which I can break down into Calcium and Carbon. That is the second step. The third is rebuilding it into another shape or changing the composition completely."

When he finished, Al pressed his hands to the circle, the blue sparks came to life once again. My eyes were fixed on the ground as Al did exactly as he explained. By knowing the make up of the floor, he was able to separate the chemicals before rebuilding them into.

I grinned at him.

He made a carbon kitty with calcium stripes.

"It's adorable!" I squeaked, grinning at him. He picked it up before handing it over to me. I grinned, holding the tiny figurine in the palm of my hand.

"Hehe, glad you like it!"

* * *

(Edward)

"So you're telling me he might have actually succeeded in finding this other world?" Roy asked, sounding somewhere between awed and disbelieving. Ed shrugged.

"They kidnapped him before he got home. He was running, that was for sure, probably from the very men who stole him." Edward said calmly, thinking it over out loud.

"Alright," Roy said, leaning on his propped up hands. "Go take care of your tag along, but I want you back here in four days, you got that? In the mean time I'll try to scrounge up all the information I can about Eastrin and the missing persons' research."

Edward nodded, standing up.

"Colonel-" Ed had began, turning towards him one last time, but under the scrutiny of the Colonel's gaze, he gave in to the quiet. "Never mind."

He then turned to the door, shutting it quietly. Edward was so deep in thought that he didn't notice any of the Colonel's crew looking at him. It was only when he got out to the hall did his attention falter.

He saw Erin, sitting with a wide grin on her face, and he saw a huge stack of... cats?

"Uh... Erin?" He asked, gaining her attention. "Where's Al?"

"Right here brother!"

Ed nearly jumped when he heard Al's voice from the statue pile. The armor twitched in amusement, but the slight move proved to be deadly as he caused the entire pyramid to fall on top of him. Erin's eyes bulged, a frown on her lips.

"Dammit! So close to perfection!"

Al apologized profusely, but Erin insisted she was just kidding around. Ed watched them, drinking in Roy's warning.

_"Better make that quick then, because she's bound to catch on to you and Al."_

As he found a ghost of a smile play on his lips watching Erin and Al play, he somehow wanted to doubt Mustang's obvious warning.

* * *

(Erin)

"So now it's just two days to Dublith?" I asked, walking slightly ahead of the two since I knew where the train station was...sort of. It was raining, but oddly I liked it. It felt cool on my skin, making me smile.

"Yeah, then you can meet teacher and begin your training." Ed said as we walked down the street. He sounded a little vague, like he was thinking about something. I turned to look at him, noticing he looked a little troubled. Instead of stopping, I called out to him over my shoulder.

"If there's something you wanna say-"

I never got to finish. Well I could've but I sort of walked right into someone. I pushed off their chest, stumbling a bit, but regained my balance. Looking up, I stared with wide eyes at the man. A long scar crisscrossed on his face between his eyes, but he wore it so openly...

"Sorry, I-"

He wasn't paying attention to me though, he looked right over top me and to the brothers.

"Edward Elric." He said in a low voice. Ed looked confused as he looked between me and the man.

"Depends on who's asking."

"Prepare to meet your maker..!" Suddenly the man lunged forward, shoving me right against the wall. I winced, but turned to see Ed meet the man's fist by punching at him. A red spark came from the man's arm, burning away the white gloves Edward always wore. My eyes widened as I saw not tanned skin, but metal in replacement of his hand.

"W-What...?" I whispered, but the fight continued as Al tried to punch to man. He leaped away, but then came back and grabbed the front of Al's helmet. My eyes widened as a sudden sense of urgency swept over me. Something in the pit of my gut was telling me this man was _bad_.

"Al! Look out!"

It was too late.

A red spark shot from the man's arm, clear signs of him using alchemy, before Al's head came clean off his shoulders. My eyes widened to the size of the moon and beyond, my heart dropped into the acid of my stomach, curdling as I watched the armor fall back limp. My knees buckled- there was no way this was happening.

"You're next, Fullmetal Alchemist." The man said, before turning to the not nearly as surprised older brother. What was wrong with him?! Why couldn't he see the problem?! Did he not care that his own brother was just murdered?!

"That's what you think!" Ed shouted, and to yet another surprise of mine, he clapped his hands before touching his metal arm. It morphed into a blade, and he used it to continue fighting the man. I watched there, knelt on the ground, feeling the evidence of tears as my eyes began to burn. Al's body was slumped over on the ground, and all I could do was watch him.

The scarred man got the upper hand, tripping Edward. The blond fell tot he ground, and my eyes widened as I saw fear flash in his eyes too. The scarred man went to reach for him.

"Edward!" I shouted, feeling more tears, but my body was frozen. Fear chaining me to the ground. Then yet _another_ unbelievable event occured.

Al's body jumped up, the suit of armor tackling the man to the ground before standing in a fighter's pose.

For about a whole minute, I couldn't make a sound. I didn't know what to even think. Be afraid? Be relieved? Scared? I didn't know, I didn't even comprehend what had happened...!

The suit of armor, with no head, turned to look at me. My skin felt cold as the suit picked up its helmet. It was then that I realized.

There wasn't a single drop of blood on that armor.

Which meant... there was never any body... Which meant...

"Don't be afraid Erin," Al said, looking over to me. His helmet at least, as he put it back on his head. "It's still me, Alphonse."

I shuddered.

"A-Al...? Nh! LOOK OUT!"

It was too late though, the masked man had gotten a grip on the armor's hip, a deadly look in his eyes. Red sparks shout out, and I swear I just about fainted when I saw the whole right half of Al's body decompose, shattering. The man's right arm flared up a bit, I could see tattoos down his arm. His attack was all right there!

"AL!" Edward cried now, finally looking as terrified for the boy as I was. Which meant that Al was now in some real trouble! My legs trembled as I clung against the wall, trying to hide away. He blindly ran at the man, trying to keep him away from his brother. The rage proved to do nothing but hinder him though, his moves becoming sloppy, and soon he found his right fist between the scarred man's fingers. Ed looked just as scared as me again, and I knew something was off.

"You make an array within your body by clapping your hands, that's why you don't need a circle. With that said, it is also a great weakness of yours!"

I watched in utter horror as Ed's entire arm deconstructed into virtually nothing. It was like slow motion as I watched wires and chunks of metal splay everywhere around the blond boy. Eyes wide, I couldn't even bring forth the courage to cry anymore. I was stuck, frozen, watching as Ed fell to the his knees.

I couldn't even speak.

"Brother!"

My eyes snapped to Al, he was still alive?!

"Quiet, or I will take you too. Your friend will be spared if she doesn't move until I'm gone." The man snapped. My body began to shake again. I had to do something! But what...?!

What could a lowly coward like me do? Move! I had to move! How though?! How could I possibly...?!

"Please," Edward begged, a pained tone in his voice. "Please don't hurt him. He's my younger brother...!"

I'd never heard such pleading in his voice before, my chest ached at the very sound.

_"Please don't take her!"_

I blinked, images of cold hands holding me flitting away as I looked back at Edward. My legs trembled as I tried to get up.

"I'll make you a deal," Ed whispered harshly. "I won't run, but in exchange you can't hurt him. Spare his life and take mine, that should be enough for you!"

"No brother! You can't!" Al cried, and he never stopped as the Scarred Man closed in on Ed. My legs twitched as I realized exactly what Ed was saying.

_"Please! Take me! Don't hurt her! JUST DON'T HURT HER!"_

My eyes widened again, the image of them reaching for me vivid in my mind.

_Why...?_

"Just don't hurt him!" Edward begged. My heart broke again at the sound of his voice.

_"I'll do anything you want! Just don't take my Erin!"_

"How foolish of you, to give your own life in exchange for your brothers. You Alchemist's are all damned to Hell." The scarred man said above Al's cries. He placed a hand on Edward's skull.

_"I will always be the one to take away your pain, sweetie."_

The soft smile, sweet voice... I could remember every single detail.

Something inside me _snapped_.

The muscles in my legs found their strength, and suddenly my body decided to stop trembling. A strange anger took over me, the frustration building as I took off at the Scarred Man at a run. I punched at him, and he turned just in time to stop me, but he did it with his left hand, and was forced to take his right arm off of Edward.

He tried to hit me with his right arm, but I dodged.

"You should've stayed down girl. This isn't your fight." He said, breaking through my guard with his right hand, since I couldn't block that arm, and punched me square in the forehead.

It went quiet for a moment, partly because my body hadn't moved when he'd hit me. Though I had a feeling he thought I'd go flying. The scabbed skin of my scar and wound from when I fell down the manhole had crunched upon the impact. Blood poured freely down the side of my face, but still I did not move.

"I might cry a lot," I began, feeling my fingers clench. "And I might be small," I added, leaning forwards into his fist. It moved back slightly. "But if you're going to throw me down..."

I kicked his left arm's elbow, forcing him to bend his arm and pull away. A deathly glare even I didn't know that could muster had covered my face.

"Then you better learn to hit_ a lot harder_."

He looked at me, holding his arm at the joint.

"So be it."

Then he ran at me, but I attacked as well. He would punch, and I would dodge before repaying the favor with as much force back to him. He was fast, getting me in the jaw once or twice, before he pinned me against the wall. His right arm holding onto my hair, up and away from my face.

"That scar, so you are also apart of the corruption of the military. The wars they cause." He said. I ducked as he used his alchemy to try and blow my face off. I moved in the nick of time, and appeared behind him. He turned to punch me with his left arm, but I grabbed it before spinning him into the wall, locking his left around around his neck and back to me as I pinned him there.

He pushed me off him, I stumbled a few meters away, catching my breath.

"No," I growled, the memory of my scar still fresh in my mind. The pain resurfacing. "It was because of idiots like you, killing without any real cause, that I got this scar."

For the first time in my life, I pulled my hair back, and tucked it behind my ear. There was no real use in it, because I couldn't see out of that dull grey eye. Yet it held all the purpose in the world right now.

Because it was a display of rebellion against the man, a direct revolt to his cause.

"You have no understanding of me!" The man shouted, but I snorted.

"An eye for an eye? Tell me that's not what you're after." I growled, trying not to wince as the rain mixed in with my bloodied face. "I can see it in your movements, you're fueled by hatred, what is it you want?"

"What would you want if you could see the people who gave you that scar?"

Then I understood him completely.

"But you can't live a life for revenge! You won't get anywhere!"

Trust me, I've seen enough anime to know it never works out for you in the end!

"Maybe so, but I was given this arm for a reason, and I'll be damned if I don't fulfill it's purpose!"

He rushed me then, and did it so fast I barely had time to react. I held up my arm to block, but it was his right arm that caught mine. Out of pure reaction, I shoved away, just in time to miss his alchemy. Unfortunately that meant me falling on my back, and as I tried to scramble up, he slammed a foot down on my gut.

"Erin!" Al was shouting, had he been shouting this whole time? I never noticed. Ed was calling to me too, but it sounded strained and weak, tired even. Fear shot through me as I realized I was absolutely stuck. This man would kill me now.

_I was going to die._

**BANG!**

We all looked to see where the noise originated from. I didn't know whether to feel fear or relief to see a long line of soldiers standing with guns facing us.

Apparently I was supposed to feel relief, because the Scarred Man took off, a soldier calling to open fire only four feet or higher than the ground, a good foot higher than any of us at this point. Once the Scarred Man was gone, I looked over to the boys, frantic to check on them. Ed had crawled over to Al.

"Al, hey, are you still with me?" He asked, sounded afraid again. The anger was damn near sizzled out, so with the last of my strength, I got to my feet before stumbling over to the boys. Ed and Al looked up at me as I spoke the blonde's name.

Then I punched him, straight across the jaw. My hair fell back into my face as I fell to my knees in front of the two.

"Don't ever do that...!" I scolded in between sobs.

"What the Hell?!" Edward shouted, but I kept going.

"What makes you think a soul could be measured in equivalency? Huh?! There is nothing in this world your could trade for a life! You never throw away such an invaluable thing, not even for someone else!" I half cried, the sobs getting worse.

"H-Hey, Erin, it's okay now." Ed said, but then Al hit him too. "Hey!"

"She's right! What were you thinking?! What would I have done if you had died? I'd never be out of here! I was the one better off dying-"

I hit him hard too, though I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who felt pain.

"Erin?" Al asked, but I just looked up at them with tears in my eyes.

"Never, ever, ever, speak like that!" I scolded. "Your lives are invaluable! You do not and will not ever consider throwing them away! Not for anything! Do you know how Ed would feel if you died Al?! Same for you Edward! What would Al do if you were gone? How would you both feel if the other left you?!"

I curled up, pulling my knees to my chest.

_"Erin, I promised I would always protect you."_

"How would you feel if you were the reason they were suffering?!"

It was official, I couldn't stop crying.

"Hey," Edward offered softly, I could feel a hand on my shoulder. Looking up, I saw Al trying to comfort me.

"We're still here though, Erin." Al said. So I tried to wipe away the tears once, but they just continued to fall.

Neither of them tried to stop me, or ask it of me, so I cried for a really long time with them just sitting there and taking it.

* * *

**Author's Note!**

**Hey guys! A reviewer asked if I could have a fight between Ed/Al and Erin and they see her scar. At first I was thinking 'Hey that seems pretty dramatic! I like it! But then I was looking at my notes for this chapter was thinking on how to incorporate the main idea without Ed/Al and Erin fighting. In the end I came up with this!  
**

**So now the cat's outta the bag that Roy wants to know more about this Eastrin and 'Other World'. Wonder how long before they figure out Erin's from that place? How is she ever going to get back? Is she ever gunna get back? **

**Well, I know the answers!... Okay most of them! **

**A huge thank you to my two reviewers! You guys rock!**

**AuthorChick96- Yeah, I try to really sink into the canon characters. As much as I love making OC's, I absolutely adore picking the canon character's apart and making an in depth conclusion about them! I'm glad you feel a connection to Erin, though I can say I'm also sorry you do! Usually when I make OC's I choose two things about myself that I will have in common with them, so I feel more connected to them too. One of them was the bullying aspect, the other is something revealed later!**

**Chibi Miku-chan - Hah, ok so I tried to add in a fight but Erin just didn't seem up to it. No matter how I spun it, she just couldn't keep going! Well the brothers definitely saw her scar though! I promise to add in a bit of an explanation in the next chapter!**

**So now that that's all said and done, I hope more people feel the urge to review!  
**

**Ya know you waaaanna!**

**Cheers!**

_Iland Girl_


	9. Connections

**THE OUTSIDER**

* * *

_by_ Iland Girl

"_For those without 'purpose'."_

A Fullmetal Alchemist Fanfiction

_I don't own anybody but Erin, Auntie, and Brayden... for now..._

* * *

**_Chapter 8  
_**

_"Connections"_

* * *

_"To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow - this is a human offering that can border on miraculous."  
― Elizabeth Gilbert, __ Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage _

* * *

(Roy)

He had arrived on the scene a short while after the rest of his troops. Hawkeye was already doing crowd control as his men surveyed the damage. There wasn't much to the scene, save for the howling from the girl.

Roy watched for a moment as the girl sat crumpled in front of the Elrics. She had been crying since he'd come on the scene five minutes ago. No doubt the stress had gotten to her. He watched Edward's pathetic attempts to help her, but it only made her lash out and shout things at them instead.

"She found out about Al," Riza said as she came to stand next to him. "On top of that, from the descriptions Ed gave, Scar seems to have attacked her too."

"Poor kid." Was all he could offer. Another car pulled up, Hughes stepping out of the back. He walked over to the Colonel, Riza catching the hint and walking away.

"Have you got anything for me Hughes?" Roy asked, all business. Hughes sighed, fixing his glasses.

"No, he got away after blowing another man's brains out." He then looked to the trio huddled on the ground. Havoc and Fury were giving the two blondes blankets. The girl huddled in hers while the Elric just sat there, staring at her sadly. Al was quiet now. "How's the kids?"

Roy snorted at that, a useless question.

"So she's the tag along you told me about? She's just a kid too." Maes muttered, seeing the fear in the girl's form as Riza tried to comfort her.

"I think this babysitting has gotten too out of hand," Roy said. "They're putting an innocent civilian in danger."

"What do you propose?" Hughes asked, gaining a more serious expression.

"I want you to round up an escort to go and bring her to Dublith. The boys will be out of commission for a few days as it is. I can't have them making anymore side trips." Roy said firmly. Maes Hughes understood, voicing so before he turned towards Riza. The woman glanced over before nodding in understanding. Roy watched as Riza offered her a car to take her to the hospital. The girl numbly followed her to the car. He couldn't see her eyes as she ducked her head under her blanket.

Hawkeye escorted her to the car, shutting the door before telling the driver where to go. The driver nodded, before he shut his window.

The car began to move.

* * *

(Edward)

It was a huge relief when the military had shown up. Much to Ed's dismay, he was glad to have some back up. He didn't want to rely on the military, but he had to admit they came in handy when they were in a tight spot.

Although he had wanted to keep it on as much of a down low as possible, Major Armstrong had insisted on taking them to the hospital. That was until Mustang stepped in and said keeping Al on the down low was a better option.

Mustang had set them up at the hospital anyway, but it was in a special room that only the authorized could enter. Ed had been given food and a check over, but was otherwise dubbed fine. Save for his lack of metal appendage. Al wasn't overly upset either, he seemed to be taking this the best.

Erin was a whole different story.

He felt a clench in his gut at how much she had cried. They had taken her away from the Brothers to get her own examination and was admitted to have gone into shock from blood loss. He didn't know if or when he was going to see her again, but he had a sick feeling inside of him.

She had seen Al, for what he truly was. He feared that she would let it slip, but he also feared that it may have knocked her off the deep end. He was so wrapped in his thoughts that he didn't notice the first knock on his door. The second caught him by surprise.

"Come in." He called weakly. At the door was a surprising face. Ed looked confused.

"Lieutenant Colonel Hughes?" He asked, not understanding what was going on. Hughes gave a small wave, a grin on his face.

"I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd drop by! Then I found this adorable little girl wandering the halls looking for the Elric's room and decided to give her a hand!"

He continued on to gush about Elysia, but Ed's sight was caught on the bandaged up figure standing in the doorway. Her head was hung, she wouldn't look at him or Al. Hughes caught on some time later that Ed wasn't listening, and instead said his goodbyes before walking to the door. Erin thanked the man weakly, who whispered something to her that made her perk up a little before he left.

It was dead quiet as Erin walked in, shutting the door behind her. She glanced at Ed, but then turned to full on stare at Al. Nobody said a thing as she walked up to the near scrap heap of steel. Once she was in front of him, she knelt down to look him in the eye. Al looked at her, the clinking of his metal telling her he was watching.

"Are you in pain?"

Ed was floored.

The first thing she asked wasn't if he was real or anything along those lines, but rather if he was in pain? Al was feeling similar.

"Oh. Uh... no. I can't... feel anything really." He had tried to be light hearted about it, but the look those grey orbs told him she wasn't so light about it.

She slowly reached out her hand, touching his metal chest plating. She thought in wonder about him, about what it must be like to live such a life.

"I'm... glad that you aren't in pain. But..."

Ed seemed to know what she was thinking.

_But it must be awful not to feel._

Al placed his one hand over hers, a warmth spread through her at the gesture.

"But I'm still here, Erin. I'm still alive."

She smiled at this.

They sat there for a while, before Erin stood up and walked over to Edward. He leaned against the headrest of his bed, feeling a little nervous for some reason as she sat down in the chair next to his bed. He noticed now that her right eye and all the skin backwards of it was covered in bandages. That her lip was split and the left side of her jaw was swollen. Her arms were stills wrapped up, but in clean bandages. Overall, she looked the worst off out of the three of them.

"I'm sorry, about not jumping in faster." She said finally, confusing Ed again Erin glanced down at her open palms, staring at them. "I just froze up and got really scared."

"What are you talking about? Of course it was scary. I was scared too." He admitted, only to make her stop looking so sad. She looked up to him then, a strange look he couldn't quite place was in her eye.

"You boys," She began, glancing between Ed and Al. "Are so strong. You're both so tough, and I can tell you've been through a lot."

She laughed without humor then at something she remembered.

"I wish I could be as strong as both of you." She said after a minute. Al stayed quiet as Ed looked to her head wound once more. He remembered her face when she took the hit, as though that guy had barely touched her. She never flinched, and took him head on to protect them both.

"Tough huh...?" Ed thought out loud. Clearly this girl didn't know the true meaning of 'tough'.

She looked up at him, then glanced back at Al again.

"I'll admit, I am curious as to how this is possible and why you both look the way you do," Ed and Al both visibly tensed, but then she sent Al a smile before turn back to Ed with the same warmth on her face. "But I can fully understand if you're not ready to tell me. I'd rather you trust me than try and rip it from you both."

A funny feeling pooled in his belly a warmth he hadn't felt in a long while. Ed scratched his cheek, looking to his blankets, then back to the girl. His eyes zeroed in on her wrapped one. She knew how they felt, because she had secrets of her own. She had an understanding with both of them.

A connection.

He felt a smile pull at his lips.

"Hey," He began, trying to sit up more. "You said you wanted to learn alchemy right? How about a lesson right now?"

Anything to cheer her up a bit more.

He winced when he tried to move too much, but soon found he couldn't sit up anymore. Looking down, he saw that Erin was pushing on his right shoulder while holding his left arm against the bed. He looked up at her, oddly bothered by her close proximity.

"Not right now Ed, I'd rather learn when you aren't hurt."

He felt a little frustrated at her coddling, but he had to admit it was nice to be fussed over, even just the tiniest bit. Erin sat back down just as the door opened. Hughes walked back in, looking a little bit more serious than last time.

"Alright Ma'am." He began looking at Erin. "Since the boys will be out of commission for a couple extra days, I've made arrangements for you to be brought to Dublith with two different escorts."

Ed's eyes widened, Al feeling the same distress.

"Oh."

He looked over to Erin. That was all she had to say?! Yet he saw the disappointment in her eyes as she forced a smile at him.

"I guess you won't have to put up with me anymore." She said, sounding sad even as she smiled. It seemed so rehearsed, like she had been expecting it for some time.

"Erin..." Al began, sounding even worse off. She turned to him, smiling softly.

"Goodbye Al, it was really nice meeting you." She said, a strange lurch aching in Ed's gut when she said this. The boy's eyes turned to slits as he glared at his bedsheets. He could hear it in her voice, she was genuine. Yet at the same time he knew that it was strained. She didn't want to say goodbye, she actually wanted to stay.

She wasn't bothered by their appearances, or their problems.

Suddenly, he felt like snorting at her.

She turned to him, wondering what he was doing.

"And where do you think you're going?" Edward asked. Looking a little bit more serious than before as he continued to stare at his bed sheets. Erin looked at him, confusion written all over her face.

"But Lieutenant Colonel Hughes-"

"Is a very busy man. Arranging such a thing would be a hassle. Besides," Ed looked up at her, those sharp steel eyes drinking in his molten gold orbs. A lopsided grin broke out across his face as he spoke. "Didn't we promise that we alone would take you there?"

She felt it then, a stir inside of her. A strange warmth she'd forgotten she could feel. It was something different than what she felt for family. It was just as warm, but held a burn.

He knew he'd said the right thing right away. Her action was almost instant. A bright smile, one he'd never seen on her before, broke out across her face. An emotion he hadn't seen from anyone in years could be seen there. It stirred something inside of him too.

Hughes seemed to understand the implications, and smiled down to the trio.

"Well then, I wish you the best of luck."

Little did he know, what he had just let bloom.

* * *

(Erin)

"So you mean I get to see your home town?" I asked, perking up a little bit.

"Yup! You can even meet Winry and Aunt Pinako too." Edward said as we boarded the train. A smile broke out across my face as we took our seats, it being more cramped than usual. A frown broke out across my lips then.

"Hey kids!" Hughes called as he stood outside the train. I waved to him with a small smile, the man had been every kind to me when I had been wandering the hospital. Although I had to endure (well not really since I liked them) him showing me millions of photos of his daughter and talking a million miles a minute.

"Hughes! Fancy seeing you here!" Edward said, a little strained.

"The Colonel wanted me to let you know that he doesn't take kindly to you going against him and he says none of you better die on this detour." The man said, making me confused as I looked to Ed.

"Tell him there's no way I'd listen to such a morally bankrupt Colonel with a God complex anyways." Ed said with such a calm demeanor. I blinked at him, surprised by such a tone.

"By the way, uh, Hughes," I began, jabbing a finger to the figure who was now squishing Edward. "Why do we need an escort?"

Major Alexander Louis Armstrong. Better known as the Strong Arm Alchemist. He explained the whole naming system behind State Alchemists while we were waiting for Ed to get dressed. He seemed... exuberant... I wasn't sure what to think of him other than he would squish me if he wasn't watching where he walked.

"Well if you see Scar again are you really going to be able to protect these boys while Ed carries his brother to safety?" Hughes asked in such a fatherly tone. I felt pink rise to my cheeks, I hadn't thought about that.

"Come on!" Ed whined. "It's not like I'm that feeble! Besides, how do you know he'll come back?"

"He's targeting State Alchemists Ed. You're definitely in his bingo book." Hughes said in a sure fire tone. Edward huffed, but otherwise gave in. The Lieutenant Colonel grinned then. "Perfect! And when you guys get back feel free to stop by my house! I have plenty more pictures of-"

He stopped talking when he noticed the train had begun to move. I laughed as he called a goodbye, waving back in reply before shutting the window.

"So how long is the train ride to Resembool?" I asked, turning to notice Edward scurry to sit next to me instead. Twice as much room on my bench as with Armstrong.

"About a day nonstop, but we'll have to switch trains sometime around midnight." Ed said, yawning before leaning back against the backrest. We chattered a little bit, about Resembool and that Scar guy. Maes had filled Edward in on him, who then filled me in later on. It was only when this man was brought up that Armstrong finally said anything.

"I must admit, I am curious as to how you survived Scar's attacks." He said, looking right at me. I blinked in confusion, cocking my head a little to the side. He then pointed right at my blind eye, the tip of his finger not visible to me anymore.

"O-Oh," I began, leaning away as I covered my injury with my hand. "This wasn't caused by Scar. It's actually an old injury."

"If that was the case why hasn't the skin healed over yet?" Armstrong persisted. Did he think I was hiding something about the fight? "I didn't see it very well," When he said that I felt a little shaken. Edward was sitting next to me when I pulled my hair back in the alleyway. What if he saw it?

What if he was repulsed?

What if he laughed at me later?

Armstrong was still talking.

"...The hospital not check it over?"

At this, I stood up, wobbling a bit from the motion of the train.

"I'm going to go check on Al." I said sharply, stepping over both of the Major's legs to get into the isle way. Making my way back a few cars, I finally made it into the cargo box Al was supposed to be in. He was sitting all on his lonesome in a corner, but his head snapped up when I entered.

"Erin?"

I gave a soft smile, going to sit in front of him. Since we couldn't exactly put broken armor up with us and talk to him, Al had to sit back in cargo. Still, I felt bad that he was all on his own.

"Hi Al, I figured you were all on your own back here and wanted to give you some company." I said with a grin. If armor could shrug, that would be exactly what Al was doing.

"I'm okay, a little bored I guess..."

It was then that I thought about the attack, about when I had thought Al had died.

"Hey," I began, gaining his attention again. "Would you... mind explaining how exactly..._this_ is possible?"

He stared at me for a long second.

"Take off my helmet."

I blinked, staring at him for a second, but then I did as told. Standing up, I pulled his helmet off, turning it as though it were a head staring at it's own body. It felt a little weird thinking that way.

"You see that marking in there?" He asked, making my eyes wander. Grey orbs widened when I saw the mark he was talking about. Some sort of blood seal where the center of his shoulder blades would be.

"The blood seal?" I asked.

"Yeah, that's Brother's blood. It's an anchor that keeps my soul attached to this suit of armor. If it were to get wet or break..."

"You'd be gone..." I finished for him in a softer tone. Slowly, I bent to look at it, then at the rest of the inside.

He really was empty...

Placing his head back on his shoulders, I marveled as he moved around a bit. This place had such strange developments. At home such a thing was deemed impossible, you couldn't do it if you willed yourself to. Yet here, the impossible had been stretched, tugged to be a thin line. Impossible was a lot further out than at home.

I fell down on my bum, dizzy and tired of thinking so hard. Placing my hands behind me, I propped myself up as I hung my head. Another thing that got me thinking was equivalency. Al told me something that was very personal, and I felt I needed to repay him.

Look at me, I'm such a hypocrite.

"Y'know, I wish I could've seen your human body. It would be nice to see your emotions when they run across your face." I said, looking up at him with a soft smile. He stared down at me, but then I looked down. "My mother used to tell me, 'You sometimes lose a little beauty on the outside, to gain some on the inside'. I can see that you and Ed have lost a lot, and truthfully, I've never met more amazing people. I don't know what fights you had to endure to get here, but I'm glad you're both still alive."

Al was quiet the whole time, almost like he sensed I was simply venting. The word vomit just wouldn't stop though, I just had to keep going.

"You're not the only one with scars though." I began, looking at my jeans. "I guess you and Ed have noticed my eye by now, huh?"

"Yeah." Al replied softly. I closed my eyes, shivering a little bit.

"I haven't told a soul where I got it. The only ones who knew are dead or long gone from my life. And I'm afraid to tell you both as well. Because once people see this scar, they don't like me anymore." I looked up to Al, not bothering to fix my hair where the skin peaked out a bit. A few of my bangs had been ripped when Scar had attacked me.

"I used to have a lot of friends, people used to call me pretty. I used to hear that guys crushed on me, and a lot of girls complimented me on my looks." I looked down at my lap again. "But then I got this scar almost two years ago, and ever since then I realized."

A slow pause.

"People never liked me. They liked my looks, and without those, I don't have anything." I frowned a little, my brow furrowing as I looked up at Al. "I was... bullied a lot last year. I guess that's when I started fighting back."

"Erin?" Al asked, sounding unsure. I looked up to him, mildly surprised he spoke. "You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to."

A soft smile broke across my face, but I hung my head again. No, I didn't have to, but I _wanted_ to.

"I didn't get my scars in some huge way," I said dully. "I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. The reason my eye hasn't healed yet is because it was burned with an acid. My eyes had been sealed shut with an adhesive, so there was no damage there, but the skin was melted right off. At the time, I didn't have any hair."

I pulled my hair aside, showing how the scar went back into my hair line.

"It goes down my back too, but the main injury was to my eye." I said, letting my hair drop. It was quiet for a long time, I knew this was a lot to dump on Al though. Maybe too much.

"I'm sorry, was that too much?" I asked, feeling a little uneasy. Al gasped, shaking his head furiously.

"No! No! It's just..." Al hesitated, but then spoke again. "Back at the hospital, you were talking about how strong Brother and I were. But I can see that you're strong too."

To this, I chuckled a little, looking down at my lap again.

"My Auntie always told me I had the pain tolerance of an ox, but I cried like a new born baby." I said, a soft smile appearing on my face. "She always told me that if people laughed at my scar, they didn't have any inner beauty. Sometimes I wondered if she was right."

"I'd have to agree with her."

My skin crawled when I heard the new voice. Glancing over, I saw Edward standing in the doorway. I blinked owlishly at him, getting on to all fours to face him.

"How long have you been standing there?" I asked, feeling heat rush to my cheeks. Ed grinned.

"The whole time," My gut dropped then, but he simply walked over to us. "I don't know why you'd hide such a thing from us. If anything, we should be running and hiding from you. I think we're more banged up than you could ever be, right Al?" Ed asked, slapping to side of Al's shoulder. The helmet turned to look at his brother.

"Right."

My eyes widened a fraction more, more warmth pooling inside of me. These boys... Such kindness after so much pain. A grin that matched Edward's flitted across my lips.

"Well then, Mother wasn't lying," I said with a smile. "You both, you're both incredible, y'know?" I asked, smiling like I hadn't since the hospital. A pink tint flitted across Ed's cheeks. He glanced away, scratching the back of his head.

"Yeah well... you should really take your Mom's advice." Ed said, making a heat rise to my own cheeks again. Al laughed at the two of us, so I rounded on him and glared.

"Shut up!"

I paused, glancing at Edward. He'd said and done the same thing as me at the exact same time. We grinned then, laughing again. Al joined in as Ed and I sat down facing Al. We chattered then, about miscellaneous things really. I talked until I couldn't keep my eyes open, and eventually I felt my head rest against the soft ground beneath me.

Funny, I don't remember wood being soft.

* * *

**Author's Note!**

**Wow, so originally I guestimated this chapter being about 2700 words in length...and now it's past 4000... go le me!  
**

**So we get a tiny insight to Erin's scar, well actually I was going to do a full blown explanation, but then I thought' it's way too early for that!' SO you're gunna have to bear with me! **

**I hope Ed wasn't too OOC, because I was really really trying not to let him be that way. I have a feeling Erin's crying a wee bit too much lately, she should probably work on that...**

**No reviews on my last chapter T.T ah well, Erin's still a fresh character in my head, so hopefully I can get what I wrote down again (at 3 am) this morning before I forget my plot direction! **

**Please review! I'm dying a little inside when I see nothing in my email... T.T...**

**So Review ! It's raw nutrients for a writer! Otherwise I may stunt my growth and become shorter than Ed.  
**

**Dear God, I perish in thought. My Mom's his height, I stare down at her and tease her all the time. **

_Iland Girl_


	10. The Way Home

**THE OUTSIDER**

* * *

_by_ Iland Girl

"_For those without 'purpose'."_

A Fullmetal Alchemist Fanfiction

_I don't own anybody but Erin, Auntie, and Brayden... for now..._

* * *

**_Chapter 9  
_**

_"The Way Home"_

* * *

_"There __is_ a kind of magicness about going far away and then coming back all changed."  
― Kate Douglas Wiggin, _ New Chronicles of Rebecca _

* * *

(Erin)

When I pictured Resembool, I had to go off of what Edward and Alphonse had told me.

I pictured a very dull, flat place with people spread out really far, the gene pool being limited, and it being a clusterfuck for rednecks.

That was Ed's view on it.

Then I pictured Eden, the perfect picturesque landscape with flowers blooming everywhere and adorable children running around while grandparents watched them.

That was Al's views.

What I got was a smash of both... I guess...

It was... rural. Nice and quiet, not too much going on, but nothing overly plain either. As we walked I looked out to over the rolling hills, smelling the remaining scents of morning dew. I missed the smell, it was always there when I walked to school. Fond memories of the park, the alcove I huddled into, surfaced.

I glanced up at Al, who was being carried by Armstrong, and he glanced down at me. I smiled at him, and I got the feeling that if he could, Al would be smiling back.

As I walked, I had to stop suddenly or risk tripping over a toppled Edward. I blinked in surprise when I saw a wrench embedded into his face. Looking up at the house in front of us, I was surprised to see a girl standing on the top deck.

"You! Not a single letter in years and now you suddenly come back?! What have you guys been up to?!" The girl shouted, gripping the guardrail as though trying to strangle it. Edward was quick to recover, making me think this was normal.

"What the Hell?! First second you see me and you try to kill me?! Thanks for nothing!" He shouted.

"Ed!" Al scolded, making me look up at him. "Winry was just worried!"

I looked back to Ed, then the girl, then back to Al.

"Um, did I miss something?"

* * *

"I'm so sorry about earlier! It must have startled you!" Winry said with a smile. I offered a shaky one back as she held out her hand. "I'm Winry Rockbell, and you are...?"

"Erin Lallier," I said, smiling while clasping her hand. "You must be the mechanic I've heard about."

"Oh? And I suppose you've heard of me too?"

I looked over as a third person walked in the living room. A smile broke across my face again.

"You're their Aunt Pinako, correct? Al told me a lot about you two." I said, seeing her give a wise old smile.

"Well at least these two boys haven't forgotten about us." Pinako said, Ed piping up from his seat on the couch.

"Hey c'mon! Cut us some slack! We've been working nonstop for years! Of course we were too busy to visit!"

Winry glared at him, making him quiet down. A small chuckle escaped my lips, I'd never seen Ed so tamed before. He gave me a look, just daring me to voice my thoughts. Instead, I looked away and acted innocent. The blonde girl walked over to Edward then, glaring at the place his metal appendage should be.

"I can't believe you broke that arm! It was a masterpiece of mine!" Winry growled out, glancing over to Al. "And Al's all banged up too. Have you two been getting into trouble?"

Ed and Al tensed, both shaking their heads.

"It's not like that!" Al insisted, but then Winry got a sharp look in her eye. Suddenly those orbs were upon me.

"Is that true?" Winry asked me, my eyes widened for a second, then I smiled. Such worry, you'd think they were family.

"Well," I began, closing my eyes and shrugging dramatically. "I've got to say, keeping these boys out of trouble is probably more dangerous than letting them charge in. As you can see, Ed and Al don't listen to me very well, so I had to teach them a lesson."

When I glanced at her, her eyes had widened to the size of dinner plates. I clutched my stomach I was laughing so hard.

"I'm kidding! No these boys were just over doing it, nothing dangerous! I swear!" I said, smiling. A feeling in my gut told me Winry was a really close friend to the brothers, and that's why they didn't want her to worry. It was sweet of them, but as much as I wanted to tell Winry, it wasn't my place.

Winry grumbled something under her breath, but before I or Armstrong (who had been quiet like a ticking time bomb) could comment further, Pinako tapped my shoulder lightly. I turned and looked down at her.

"Well if that's the case, we'll need to get working right away." She said, making me raise a brow for a second.

"I don't mean to rush or anything, but we've gotta report back soon. Could you have my arm done in a week?" Ed asked, but Pinako chuckled.

"Don't insult me Ed, we'll have it done in three days." She then turned back to me, holding out a piece of paper. "Since Ed and Al are both out of commission, would you mind running to the market to get these things for dinner?"

I took the list, a grin spreading across my face.

"Sure!"

* * *

There wasn't much to the market, it was like the local farmer's market back home in Willowneck. The list Pinako gave me wasn't very long, but the amount of money Ed gave me to buy it all was incredibly large. I could only judge this by the prices vs amount of 'cens' I had in my hands. Wow, currency was a lot simpler here than home. No damn pennies! That's a win if I do say so for myself!

I had almost all the veggies and bread and meat from the market. My arms were almost full as I began to leave, but then my eyes came across somethign I never expected to see.

One stand wasn't selling any perishable goods. Instead they were selling trinkets of sorts. One trinket in particular caught my eye. A locket of sorts, the clasp welded shut. It was silver with small vines carved into it. The chain it sat on was thing and frail, looking like it's been welded together at one piece. The chain itself was very long, long enough that you could fit it over your head without unclasping it.

Slowly, I placed a few bags down to look at it closely. A very pretty looking locket, but that wasn't why I was so interested.

It looked like my Mother's.

I could remember it from the pictures. Of Father and Mother. When Bray and I were small, she would wear it all the time. Then, after she died, I never saw it again. It vanished into thin air.

Slowly, I picked it up, examining it. My heart dropped to my stomach when I read the back.

_I.F x A.L_

Isobel Fowler and Anatol Lallier.

The names of my parents.

I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from whimpering. Clutching the locket, I remembered the last time I had seen it, clutched between Mother and Father's hands. The chain was wrapped around them, as though tying them together.

Father begged for her to stay...

"Excuse me Miss," I glanced up at the elderly woman who stood behind the counter. "Would you like to buy this locket?"

A pang of frustration surrounded me when I realized I couldn't. This was Ed's money, it wasn't my own. I placed the locket back on the counter, frowning slightly.

"I'm sorry, but this is my friends money, I can't use it." I said while trying to reorganize my bags. The shopkeeper was quiet for a moment, but then she spoke.

"A lot of people have asked me where I found this trinket," She said, smiling a bit as she looked down to the locket. "I had nursed a man back to health when he was traveling. He came by, looking ill and weary. He left the next day after I gave him food and shelter. Left a thank you note and a huge pile of money. But I found this lying on the ground. Never did get to give it back to him."

I stared at her for a moment, a sick feeling rising in my gut.

"The man... his name wouldn't happen to be... Anatol...Lallier... would it?" I asked, hesitant to know the answer. She looked at me, slightly surprised.

"How did you know?"

...

...What?

My Father... he'd... been here?

That didn't make any sense! How could he be here? He was... I remembered him vividly being...

Dead.

Father was dead.

Or was he like me?

Trap in this world, with no escape?

"He was... my Father." I said, looking at the ground. The woman surprised me by coming around the counter. She smiled before raising the pendant over my head and letting it rest around my neck. My eyes widened then, I looked into her brown eyes.

"I knew I saw something. You have the same eyes, y'know. Always looking at something others can't see. A fierce but passive nature is in those eyes." She said, closing her eyes. "I suppose giving this to you would be the right thing to do, right?"

I was about to reply that, no, she didn't have to. Then I paused, looking down at the locket. For the first time, I didn't want to share. I didn't want to give this up. So I looked at her with a fierce gaze before smiling.

"Thank you."

* * *

"So... this is how you make automail?"

Winry looked up at me as I stared at her, working so hard on Ed's new arm. She smiled at me, beckoning me to walk all the way into the room. Ed and Al were sitting on the couches still, Armstrong nowhere to be seen. After I had put the groceries in their respective places, I had meandered in to see what the others were up to.

I walked up to Winry, she picked up a different arm and held it out for me to see.

"This is the complete model." She said. I stared at the shine of it, noticing it was a lot bigger than Ed's arm. It would be too long for the boy. My orbs wandered up to hers.

"May I?" I asked, Winry smiled before nodding. I took the arm, absolutely fascinated by it. Tinkering around, I flipped it around, studying how it moved and bent just like a real arm. Bio-mechanics were horribly behind in my world.

"This is incredible," I said in awe, looking up to Winry. "And you can do this? Already? You're so young!"

It took people decades to learn at the pace Winry must've. To get this far...

The girl beamed at me, grinning.

"You bet! It's not easy though, and I'm still learning..." She trailed off, but I shook my head furiously.

"No! Winry, this is amazing! You're amazing!" I said, looking back at the arm. "I have never seen automail before I saw Edward's arm, I used to think once you lost a limb, that was it. You were done. But not anymore. These babies are incredible! How do you connect the nerves? What about the force behind it? How can you recreate the muscle?"

I asked so many questions, it was a bit silly, but Winry was more than happy to explain everything to me. She showed me that each wire connected to each and every nerve of the nervous system in the arm through a port. She explained this my showing me Ed's shoulder port. I was so engrossed I almost missed Ed's complaints of being a display model for this.

She showed me how the hydraulics connected to the nervous system, and how the port in Edward's arm connected to each of his nerves. It was a lot to take it, but I kept up as much as I could. Winry was even more incredible that she learned all of this and retained it easily. Not to mention knowing exactly where each nerve was located...

Amazing didn't cover this anymore.

"Are you sure you've never seen automail before? Not at all?" Winry asked, but I just shook my head.

"No, my small town didn't have anything of the sort. People lost limbs and just moved on with life. They believe that, once something leaves us, it's gone forever." I snorted then though, glancing out the window. Winry hesitated in building the arm. I glanced over to her, noticing how sad she looked.

"Ah! I'm sorry! Did I say... something...?"

Oh crap.

Even Ed looked depressed. Al was hunched over too.

Dammit.

"So... why are you traveling with Ed and Al?" Winry asked, finally the cold air seemed to dissipate from the room. Ed leaned back on the couch, Al uncurled his helmet from his shoulder.

"Jeez Winry, why are you being so nosy all of a sudden-"

"I need to learn alchemy." I interjected. The room became quiet as I glared at the floor, but I could sense someone staring at me. "I made a promise, and the only way I can keep it, is by learning alchemy. If I keep this promise, I can finally go home."

It was a break through for me, telling how I felt to a near stranger. Yet I was saying it more to Ed and Al. They weren't strangers, they were...

Friends.

A warmth covered me again at the word.

"Alchemy won't solve all of you problems you know." Winry said, making me look at her, perplexed. She continued to work on Ed's arm. "You don't need alchemy to fix your problems, you've got two good arms right? Why don't you start using them?"

She'd struck a cord.

"_You were born with a brain, right? Use it to solve your own problems!"_

A small smile played at my lips.

"Yeah," I agreed. "I guess you're right."

However, for this problem, I definitely needed to learn and understand alchemy.

* * *

**Author's Note!**

**Heyo! I'm back again! A big thanks to AuthorChick96 for reviewing! I hope you guys have enjoyed this story thus far!  
**

**Also, if anybody has any ideas or moments they really really want in the story, whether it be cute, funny, or sad moments, please let me know!**

**I would love to hear your input! **

**I would also like to hear your guesses at where the plot is going! What do you think is going on with Erin's Father? Is there anything confusing going on thus far? Any questions, concerns, complaints? I'm open to it all!**

**I also didn't even noticed I kinda am following the first anime plot... hehehe... whoops, so much for originality! I'm trying to tweak the plot a little bit more to make it more original but... eh, when I get there I shall fix it!**

**Also, I would like you guys to know that this story should be roughly 52 chapters. That includes the prolog and epilogue. I already have three scenarios for the ending written down, but I'm still debating on whether to write a sequel or not... Ah well, I have over forty chapters until then! **

**So rate and review!**

**Ya know you waaaanna!**

**Cheers!**

_Iland Girl_


	11. Family

**THE OUTSIDER**

* * *

_by_ Iland Girl

"_For those without 'purpose'."_

A Fullmetal Alchemist Fanfiction

_I don't own anybody but Erin, Auntie, and Brayden... for now..._

* * *

**_Chapter 10  
_**

_"Family"_

* * *

_"One day you will do things for me that you hate. That is what it means to be family."  
― Jonathan Safran Foer, __ Everything is Illuminated _

* * *

(Erin)

"Wow, I am never leaving this house again!"

I'd never eaten such a delicious meal before! Ed stared at me, surprised to see the speed I ate at. Winry laughed.

"Look Ed, somebody who can eat faster than you." She deadpanned with a smirk. I slowed down then, my cheeks turning pink.

"Ah! I'm really sorry! I haven't eaten food this good in years though! It's nice to have a home cooked meal." I said, looking to Pinako in thanks. She just chuckled before she continued to eat. Armstrong making huge statements about the homey feeling around us... and successfully killing said mood.

While eating, I glanced at Al propped up on a chair to sit at the table. A pang went through me when I realized why he hadn't eaten in front of me before.

Supper went by quickly, Winry telling me stories about the Brothers and her in their adventures as kids. Al and Ed would put in comments, and for a little while, I could see it. The warmth of the house wasn't made by a furnace, it was there because of the warmth they spread to each other.

They were a family.

I excused myself from the table, nobody really taking notice. Pinako nodded to me as I put my dishes in the sink. I had told her I would clean them up later. Then I made my way to go outside. Once there, I walked down the porch and sat in the grass. It was quite warm tonight, but the cool wind was welcomed on my warm skin. I sighed, lying down completely to stare at the stars.

Something that never changed.

I smiled, voicing all my findings as I looked through the constellations again. It was so lovely to just sit and think. Then my mind wandered to the dinner table, and I could remember home. At first I just thought of how horrible of a cook Auntie was, laughing a little as I recalled the last concoction she had made, but then my mind wandered to Mom and Dad and Uncle, about how they used to sit at the large kitchen table too. The six of us would eat together every other night, then Auntie and Uncle would walk down the street to their house.

Mom would take Bray and me upstairs, often putting us in our separate beds. Despite this I always woke up next to bray, whether he climbed in to my bed or vice versa. Mom would always sing us to sleep. Brayden would be out like a light, I would pretend to fall asleep. Instead I would stay up, signing the song softly until I fell asleep on my own.

I gulped, sitting up when I felt a lump in my throat that wouldn't budge.

Mom... Dad... Uncle... they were all gone. Auntie tried to be strong by smiling, while Bray just denied the fact that he even remembered them sometimes. He coped by pretending to be okay. Though I was different.

I let my pain fester, I had relished in the good, and cried during the bad. But I refused to forget these people, because they made me who I was today.

"Hush, Child, wait until morning." I sung, remembering Mother's voice as she sung it. "Sleep, now, babe you're still growing."

"_And the night's moon watches you sleep._

_So long as you don't make a peep._

_Hush, Child, I'll be here waiting._

_For you, to, wake in the morning._

_When the suns glow bathes you in heat._

_I'll be right here waiting as you sleep. _

_Hush, Child, wait until morning. _

_Sleep, now, babe you're still growing._

_And the night's moon watches you sleep._

_So long as you don't make a peep."_

I hung my head as I stopped singing, the memory of Mother's smiling face embedded in my mind. I could remember that warmth whenever she sung to me, deep in the back of my mind, I knew I'd never forget such a warmth.

"That's a catchy tune, where did you learn that?"

I looked behind me in surprise. Ed was standing on the porch. A smile broke out across my face as he hopped over the railing and walked up to me. He sat down beside me, and I just looked up to the sky.

"My Mother sung it to me when she put me to bed." I said, glancing out of the corner of my eye to see an odd emotion flicker across Ed's face. I didn't want to say more, but I couldn't stop talking about her. "Whenever it was a clear night, Mom would take me outside to look at the stars."

"The stars?" Edward asked, sounding genuinely interested. I nodded, smiling at him.

"Yeah, Mother was always fascinated by them. They looked so tiny and insignificant, but up close they were a huge mass that could incinerate you. She was always fascinated by them. She would tell me all about the constellations..." I trailed off, almost forgetting the boy sitting next to me.

"I can see why you would look to the stars, I guess. It's a clear reminder of your Mom, but it still..." Ed trailed off. I had a feeling he wanted to say, '_But it still hurts to remember her'_. For some reason I couldn't picture him talking out of a guess. He must miss his Mom too, but I doubt he saw things form the same perspective.

"Actually, I look at the stars not just because of her, but because they are a constant." I admitted, making him look up at me.

"Constant?"

"Yeah," I said, looking back up at the sky. "A lot of things have changed, I've met new people, made new friends, and even lost a few things along the way. With so much changing, it's nice to see at least _somethings_ haven't changed."

I looked back to him, smiling.

"Don't you agree?"

He looked at me, seeming a little surprised. Then he relaxed into a crooked smile, then looked to the sky as well.

"Something the same, huh?" He asked rhetorically. I kept smiling as I stared at him, bathing in the moonlight, before I glanced at his missing arm.

"It hurts," I began, making him look back at me. A sad atmosphere taking me in. "To remember my Mom."

He looked away.

"But... I'd rather feel that pain, than forget. Because it meant she was here, she loved me, and she lived with me. Equivalency, right?" I ended softly. Ed gripped the grass roots with his left hand, his muscles clenching.

"You know," He began, his teeth gritted. "I'm starting to wonder if you were right."

My eyes widened, why was he saying this?

"Ed..."

"People die, and for what? What have they gained?" He asked, his eyes narrowing as he looked to the grass. "What have we gained? We've lost our Mother, we lost her, and what did she get in exchange for losing her life? What did we get for it? I don't understand anymore, when it comes to things like this I start to question equivalency."

It was quiet for a moment, but then I fingered at my locket. It jingled a little, the only noise other than the wind sweeping by us.

"I'm... not sure what you gained from losing your mother, perhaps something you can't see, like character," He snorted at this, looking unimpressed. "But the dead, they have gained something Ed." I said softly. He looked at me at me, and I looked into those eyes. Calmly, my grey orbs matched his gold flames.

"What could that be?" He asked, as though not expecting a real answer. A soft smile broke out across my lips, of course you gain something. It was the one thing keeping me at terms with the loss of my parents.

"Quiet."

He gave a small, shaky breath at that, his eyes impossibly wide. Then I looked away.

"The dead have no worries, no fears. They have nothing to think about except the quiet. It's what awaits all of us. We were given life, something no one but a mother could give. And we live with the notion that, one day, it will be taken back. But until it is, we use it in whatever way we deem fit. It's unfortunate that it's sometimes taken premature, but alas, if we knew when it was going to end, would we live life the way we do right now?"

Quiet, something everyone longed for, but didn't realize it was promised to them in the afterlife. Peace and comfort, it was all right there. So instead of asking for it, I would push ahead, into tomorrow.

"That, is the ultimate exchange. We live, so we must die." I said, thinking of Mother and Father, praying they were resting together.

For I had plenty of time for rest when I was dead.

"You really think so?" Ed asked, sounding unsure. For a boy who radiated confidence, this was unnerving. I turned to him, seeing he hung his head too.

"Yeah," I said. "I think that, your Mother, and mine, they're both at peace. They're both safe from any harm."

We sat there in the field, I'm not sure how long, but the moon had moved across the sky by the time I had noticed time passed me by.

* * *

(Erin)

Breakfast was the same as dinner. A warmth filled me as I watched the trio squabble. It was adorable really, I enjoyed watching them. Memories of my brother and I resurfacing once again.

Rubbing my eyes, I figured a nap would be good afterwards, since I'd only slept a handful of hours. Ed looked a little tired too.

"What about you, Erin?" Winry broke in suddenly. I perked up, my eyes opening more as she looked right at me. "Did you ever get into a lot of trouble as a kid?"

Of course I did, I got in a lot of trouble, but I was smart enough to leave clues that Brother did it. A smile pressed on my lips as I remembered one particular memory.

"Oh yeah," I began, faintly laughing. "When I was... ten.. I think... I was going to school with a lot more fortunate kids. Sometimes I would ask Mom if I could get the same toys they had. She made one rule. We had to save our own money to buy it, but if we could afford it it would be ours." I laughed a little, remembering how Brayden found the short cut, buying a broken PS3 and fixing it to work again, then using the left over money to buy games. "We learned shortcuts though, we'd take old and broken toys and fix them like new. In a way, we learned to appreciate everything we had."

I paused, giggling.

"There was one time, Mom was sick, so I took her car for a spin. I ended up breaking something and tried to fix it. Well it worked... for about two days... turns out I had mixed up some parts and the whole thing broke down in the middle of nowhere! Mom had to fix it up on the side of the road! Thank god she was a mechanic. She got so angry... But I always managed to play innocent and point to my brother." I thought of how Mom shouted at Bray when she found oil marks on his clothes and none on mine. Bray got revenge though by dying my hair in my sleep. "I guess Bray got the mechanics gene from Mom, not me."

"You have a brother?" Winry asked, perking up even more. I grinned, Bray's face resurfacing.

"Yeah, he's something. He's always trying to insist 'Brothers watch their Sisters'. Even though I'm the older sibling." I said, stuffing an egg in my mouth.

"Where is he now?" Al asked, both he and Ed staring at me. I swallowed, before continuing.

"Home."

When I didn't add on, Winry seemed to understand right away, the conversation picked up again. Looking down at my food, I suddenly didn't feel so hungry anymore, so I excused myself before heading upstairs to nap.

* * *

(Erin)

"Resembool looks the same as when we left, right Brother?" Al asked.

"Yup, same old boring rural landscape." Ed said.

I glanced at the two, sitting in between Al who was still in a box, and Ed who was lying flat on my other side.

"Isn't that good though? Knowing everything is right where you left it?"

Ed and Al both glanced at me, but I just closed my eyes as a soft wind blew. My hair brushed past my scar, but I felt no need to hide it. The faint smell of cut grass and standing water caught my nose. I loved the smell, reminiscent of home.

"I guess." Ed said without much behind the words. I opened my eyes to see him sitting up now. His arm would be ready tomorrow, but the boy was getting anxious, sitting around and doing nothing.

"It's nice to know your home is intact, I'd hate to see it gone." I said, but when I was met with quietness from even Al, I knew something was up. Glancing between the two, I noticed both were looking down.

"We burned our home down when we left." Al admitted. My eyes widened, I hadn't expected that. Yet I could, with nobody there, it would only stand as a painful reminder nobody would be waiting for them there.

If Auntie and Bray weren't at home...

Sighing, I stood up, then turned to look at them. They both looked up, I chuckled crossing my arms and shaking my head.

"Morons, home isn't an actual place," I then knelt down and pressed my palms to each other their chests. Ed looked flustered, while Al made a small gasp. I closed my eyes, thinking _my_ home. "Home isn't a house, a field, or the place you rest. It's where someone is waiting for your return. It's where open arms are always your welcoming. Home is where your loved ones are."

I opened my eyes and looked up to the Rockbell house not far off. A smile played at my lips.

"You boys, your home is still very much alive."

Ed and Al looked at each other, then at me. A small grin spread across Ed's face, Al making noises of agreement.

"Then what about you, Erin?" Al asked, making me zero in on him. "Where is your home?"

"Far away, yet just out of my reach." I said, closing my eyes again. The memories flooding a little too painfully.

"There's something that's been boring me," Ed began, looking at me when I opened my eyes. "You said you needed alchemy to get home, but why Alchemy? What is it you can gain from using it?"

It was quiet for a moment, my hesitation evident as Ed looked away then.

"Never mind," He muttered, looking a little put off. "But hey, I've got something for us to do!"

"Hm?" Was my amazing reply. Ed grinned as he brushed a small patch of dirt flat.

"Well, if we teach you the basics it'll save you getting a boot in the face by our teacher." Ed said as he began to draw a circle. I paled, this teacher sounded scarier than even Uncle.

"Al showed me the basics while we were waiting for you at East City," I began, brushing my own dirt patch away. He glanced at Al, who laughed a little, before pressing down on the now completed circle. My eyes widened as he built a small castle with such minute detail. A smile spread across my lips at that, but then Ed looked at me.

"Your turn!"

I gulped, feeling nervous as I looked down at my own basic circle. Closing my eyes, I pressed down on the circle. A warmth spread through me, like warm flames liking my core. I felt something inside of me stretch, as though it had never been used. What was this thing? It felt so... natural, like walking, but it felt like I'd never used it before. Like a new born learning to crawl.

Opening my eyes, I smiled down at my creation.

Three figures were standing with their backs to each other, forming a close knit triangle. I smiled, looking down at my figure, one of me, but the faces were more like a rag dolls. I wasn't able to do the minute detail like Ed.

"That was really good for your first try!" Ed said, looking down at the figure of him, then glancing at Al's. "Very good..."

I snorted.

"You're just happy because I made yours as tall as Al's... shrimp."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A TADPOLE?!"

Feeling daring, I continued to tease.

"Tadpoles eat you for breakfast!"

"Oh yeah?! Well at least they can see me you two dimensional hag!"

Oh that got me going.

"I'm the same height as you! I dare you to take those platform boots of yours off and prove me wrong!"

"Please! I way taller than you! I checked!"

This made me pause, a confused look probably storming over my glare.

"Uh, you did? Um... when?" I asked, trying to think of a time he could've actually measured us together. No timing came up in my mind. Ed paused too, looking to the sky.

"Come to think of it, I don't think I ever did..." He said thoughtfully. Wait so did he forget when he did or actually lie about that whole thing? I glared again, prepping to run for it.

"Looks like your height's not the only thing short about you."

I booked it to behind Al as Ed tried to tackle me. Ed pointed an accusing finger at his brother.

"Al! You traitor!"

"Don't look at me! I'm stuck in this box!" Al cried, but I just smirked, sticking my tongue out at Ed. That _really_ got him going, as we ran in circles around Al. He chased me for a good hour, that is, until I damn near died of exhaustion. Ed didn't even look tired! However, just before he could catch me, Pinako came out onto the porch.

"Alright kids, Ed, it's time to reattach your arm and leg." She said, but when I noticed Ed pale, I had a feeling this wasn't going to be good.

* * *

**Author's Note!**

**Hi guys!  
**

**...**

**Oh... I see, there's just some crickets here... Sigh... I was hoping people liked this story... guess not...**

**On the bright side for me, I'm going away for the weekend! This is awesome for me because that means I get to take a break from this story! When I get back I'm probably going to do a lot of editing, so I probably won't 'update' this story for another week. **

**Well, not like I have any readers... seriously, my reader's box comes up as one person reading these chapters. Whoever you are, you rock by the way! I may post onnneeee more chapter, but that will be it for a while!**

**So rate and review!**

**Now excuse me while I go huddle in the corner for a bit and cry.  
**

**Cheers!**

_Iland Girl_


	12. When Reality Comes Knocking

**THE OUTSIDER**

* * *

_by_ Iland Girl

"_For those without 'purpose'."_

A Fullmetal Alchemist Fanfiction

_I don't own anybody but Erin, Auntie, and Brayden... for now..._

* * *

**_Chapter 11  
_**

_"When Reality Comes Knocking"_

* * *

_"Broken trust and anger will close a heart until honesty and love is once again found."_

_- Nishan Panwar_

* * *

(Erin)

"Three... Two... One!"

**_CLANK_**

My eyes widened as Ed bit down on his lip. I'd never seen him in so much pain. My face paled as I watched Armstrong lay him down on the couch.

"That looks... so painful..." I muttered, standing stalk still as I watched Ed wince. Pinako nodded, coming to stand next to me and watch.

"I never thought attaching automail could be this painful." Armstrong said, staring at Ed in awe.

"Indeed, reconnecting all the nerves in his legs isn't exactly sugary sweet. He has to have each nerve reawakened to reattach his limbs." She explained, making me look down to her with worry.

"Is there... anything I could do?" I asked. Pinako sighed, shaking her head.

"Even the most hardened of men have been known to cry like babies, Ed will be fine in a little bit." Pinako said, shuffling out of the room. She called for Winry to follow, Armstrong leaving as well.

"Well it wasn't a huge adjustment to your leg, since you're still so short, but I did manage to do it all in one night." Winry said, smirking down at the wincing Ed.

"Oh yeah... mock a guy... while he's in... pain... very nice." He said through gritted teeth. I gave Winry a flat look, walking up to her and Ed.

"Maybe when you go through childbirth I'll be there to make jokes about you too." I said flatly. Winry gave me a look, but then laughed.

"Relax, Ed's a big boy... age wise," He must've been in pain for him not to yell at her comment. "He'll be fine in a bit."

Winry said this, not out of malice, but from experience. Then she walked out of the room to talk to Pinako, I assume. I stood there for a moment, looking at the door. Then Ed winced again, and my attention was brought to him. Kneeling down by his head, I stared in amazement as he wiggled his arm tensely.

"Can I... do anything for you?" I asked, not liking that look on his face. He winced, but then peaked an eye open to look at me.

"Not... really..." He said honestly. A frown came over my lips, if this is what reattachment felt like...

How did it feel to surgically get the port put on?

I shuddered.

"Hey," Ed began, making me look back at him. Both his eyes were open, in pain, but he had a look of worry on his face. "Why do you look like that?"

"Hm?"

Oh, I probably looked a little frightened. I rubbed my right shoulder, imagining the pain that might possibly come from such a machine.

"I was just thinking about how much pain you went through, to get your automail."

_I was just thinking how freakin' incredible you are._

"Nah, it wasn't much." Ed said, finally making proper noises without grunting. Wasn't much? Bull, I could see it when Pinako called us, you knew it would cause you so much pain. And yet...

I wondered if I could go through such pain, or would I just leave myself without the missing limb?

"Wasn't much you say?" I sighed. "Well, you sure are something Ed."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" He grunted, trying to sit up. He almost fell over, so I grabbed his bare shoulder and held him upright. To reattach his limbs, Ed was left in his boxers, though I had to admit the automail leg was quite fascinating. However I was worried he would get the wrong idea if I decided to randomly pick up his leg. I'll just ask Winry to see a spare later.

He leaned against my arm as I helped him turn to sit against the back rest of the couch. I pulled his legs to sit down too.

"Thanks." He muttered, but we both glanced over to Al when he started giggling. Raising a brow, I looked to the scrap heap piled in a box.

"Al?" I asked, but he shook his head.

"Nothing!"

He's a little to innocent...

"He's probably happy he can finally get out of that box." Ed said, making me realize.

"That's right! You can fix him now!" I said, smiling a bit before standing. "I'll go get the Major and we can carry Al out and-"

"No!" Ed shouted, looking worried, but then he quieted down. "If the major knows I'm better he's going to try and pulverize us! Leave Major Spazz in the dark, okay?"

Pulverize?

"Ugh... okay... I guess." I muttered, instead following Al's instructions on how to get him outside again.

* * *

(Erin)

After a lot of push and pull on my part, I had Al splayed out of his box, all the pieces of his body lying on a blanket in front of him. Then I walked back in and helped Ed outside. He was rather insistent he didn't need help but laugh when he tripped down the steps.

Now I understood Winry's point of view. The boy was just asking for trouble.

Still, I gave him a hand and soon he was standing in front of Al. Curiosity got the best of me as I stood close by to watch.

"So... you just imagine him put back together?" I asked, curious. Ed grinned at me, before pulling Al's helmet off his shoulders.

"Yup! See that seal? It's the anchor to Al's soul. Since I made it, I'm the only one who can fix his body." Ed explained. Made sense to me, I think. He then put the helmet back and clapped his hands, surprising me. "You might want to stand back." He added, before placing both hands on Al. My eyes widened as I backed up. The small pieces of armor coming to collect around Al, a light over shining my view.

I had to cover my eyes.

When I looked back, I saw Al standing there, his suit completely fixed!

"Amazing!" I gasped, a huge grin on my face. My feet took me forward, I ran circles around Al, trying to find an imperfection. When I could find none, I stopped in front of Al, grinning at him.

"Wow, you both really look out for each other, huh?" I asked, feeling a wash of sadness. Al seemed to notice as he looked down at me.

"Were you and your brother close?" He asked. I nodded a little, chuckling a bit.

"Bray and I, we shared a crib, clothes, and friends. I don't think there was a single thing that ever got between us." I said, but then I shook my head, looking to the two boys staring at me. It hurt to know that Bray was so far away, unable to even communicate with me. Yet seeing these two, and how close they were.

I smiled.

"Well, now what?" I asked, watching them glance at each other. A grin pulled across their faces, I raised a brow.

"Guess it's about time for a good ol' fashion spar." Ed said.

"Spar?" I asked, curious as to just how good of a fighter Al could be in that suit of armor.

"Teacher told us that to train the mind, you have to train the body." Al said, making me nod.

Ed and Al took off towards the field, Ed running like his leg and arm didn't ache. I watched the two go at it from the hill, sitting in the grass. For a while I watched, laughing when Al kicked Ed's butt, but then the blond would come up and fight again. They went on for a while, but then to my surprise a certain overly muscled man came leaping through the field, attacking the two at the same time.

Oh God, he sent Ed _flying_. I winced, that had to hurt.

Now I understood Ed's reluctance to let Armstrong know about their well being.

A huge rock landed not ten feet from me, startling my soul out of my body as I leaped to my feet.

...Maybe I'll just... go sit inside...

Where it's safer.

I walked inside, sighing as I realized everyone was either outside or sleeping. Winry and Pinako had been working non-stop since we got here. My eyes wandered over to the couch, where Ed left his clothes. A thought crossed my mind, so I ventured over to the pile to investigate. My hands crept around the hem of his pants.

My god, they really were leather.

Glancing at the door, I damn near grinned like a Cheshire cat when I still heard them battling it out in the field. Gingerly, I slipped out of my black jeans, momentarily noting the many slowly tiny bite marks I had received from the gate, before I pulled the leather pants on.

Yes! They fit! A little tight in the hips, and they weren't very high in the waist, but they still fit! I grinned, yanking off my tank top in favor of pulling on the rest of Ed's clothes. Along with the jacket, the one with the Flamel symbol on the back. Everything was a little... short, but it still looked pretty good. I smirked, tying my hair in braid just like Edward's. Unfortunately my bangs were different, but I wasn't about to cut them the same as his too.

"Hiya!" I shouted, karate chopping the air. "Beware! I, the Fullmetal Alchemist, with kick your ass!"

I then proceeded to act like I was five, fighting an invisible foe with actually fight moves. It was all fun and games... until I knocked a lamp. My eyes widened, before I took a running leap and slid across the floor to catch the lamp before it shattered. I sighed when it landed on my stomach, my arms firmly around it.

Laughter broke out.

My eyes widened in horror as I looked over to the door. There stood Major Armstrong, Major Elric, and Al. I think I just about turned purple I was so embarrassed.

"Having fun are we?" Ed asked, laughing. I leaped up, carefully putting the lamp back, then pointed an accusing finger at him.

"Hey! Aren't you supposed to be training the body or something?" I asked lamely, to which Edward just walked on up to me, snickering still. My cheeks were still a dark red.

"We finished about the same time you started attacking the air, Seriously, what did it ever do to you?" He asked, laughing again. I was, kind of, saved from more embarrassment when Major Armstrong made a comment.

"I see! Miss Lallier! I did not think you were so tiny as to fit Edward's clothing!" He said in such a gallant voice. Both Ed and I looked at him, irked.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A-" I paused, realizing my hands were high in the air and I was twitching. My eyes glanced up to the ceiling, trying to think of something else to shout. When I couldn't think of anything, I sighed and dropped my arms, shrugging. "Yeah, no, that's a lot of work."

Untying my hair, I heard Al snickering, Armstrong spoke of going for a jog or something (wasn't really listening). Edward glared at his younger brother while I shrugged off his over jackets until I was down to just his pants and shirt. Without really thinking about it, I began to pull of my shirt as well, that is, until hands grabbed at mine and pulled them straight down. I looked at Edward, seeing his red face, before realizing what I was doing.

Well, I really did turn purple now.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" He shouted, making me feel faint.

"I FORGOT!" I shouted back, not sure what else to say. "Me and my brother used to always change in front of each other, sorry, I guess I'm just..."

_Really comfortable with you guys..._

Alphonse... if a suit of armor could look embarrassed, he was doing it. He scratched the back of his helmet, letting out a chuckle.

"It's nice to know you feel that comfortable with us."

"But don't go just taking all your clothes off! You're still a girl." Edward said, his eyebrow twitching. "And what kind of brother is this that let's you strip anywhere anyways?!"

I laughed at him then, grasping the hands that held mine. His metal hand was twitching, but I ignored it.

"My brother and I are twins," I began, a thoughtful look crossing Ed's face then. "We've shared everything since day one. It's not bad of us to have seen each other in just our undergarments. Mom and Dad were pretty loose about it so long as we weren't in public."

A pause, then I gripped his flesh hand tightly.

"And what's this? Just because I'm a girl I can't where less clothing?" I demanded, but humor was still in my voice. Ed's face turned red as he looked down to his boxers. I raised a brow, just asking him to try to talk his way out of this one.

He was going to too! That is, until a wrench came flying and hit him in the side of the face. I was so shocked that I let go of his hands, watching him fall back on the ground, blood dripping from the side of his skull. With dinner plates for eyes, I looked over to see a _very_ disgruntled Winry rubbing her eyes.

That kind of aim when she's fast asleep...

God help me.

"You're making too much noise! Granny and I are trying to sleep."

She said this is such a flat tone, Al and I nodded since Ed was still twitching on the ground, before turning to go back up the stairs to her room. I was still quivering with fear, she was really scary...

"Dammit!" Ed cried, but I noted it was in a hushed tone. "She really got me good."

He held the side of his face, sitting up before wincing with one eye closed. I huddled down into an upright fetal position, shivering.

"Winry's scary," I muttered to Al, who knelt with me, nodding. "The scariest thing was her accuracy!"

"Winry could've done worse, she was holding back." Al said, making me shiver. Ed's grunting made us shake from our fear. We both looked over to him, noticing the blood pouring down the side of his face.

"Oh, we better clean that." I said, standing up and offering him a hand. He frowned a bit, but then took my hand. I didn't let go though, feeling nervous as I whispered to him. "But we better go outside before she comes back for all of us."

Somehow, Ed seemed even more terrified than me.

* * *

(Edward)

"Stop being such a baby!"

"I'm not!" He shouted back to the girl.

"Well then let me see the wound." She replied flatly. He thought she'd been hanging with Winry too much, here was proof. He'd never seen Erin with such a bad temper. Then again, she did say she was comfortable with the two, maybe this was her real personality pushing through?

He missed shy Erin already.

"Come on Brother! You're still bleeding!" Al pointed out, wasn't he supposed to be on Ed's side? With a sigh, Ed finally sat down on the grass. Erin smiled, moving closer to kneel beside the wound. With gentleness he wasn't used to, Erin softly pulled his bangs away from the wound. He glanced at her, noticing her look of concentration.

She reached back, pulling on the tie for his braid, before pulling it apart. Whatever she wanted, she looked satisfied in the action, before looking to Al.

"Hey Al, can you get me the medical kit from the kitchen? I'd get it but..." She paled. "Well, you're made of steel and I'm made of flesh."

Al laughed, amused by how scared of Winry Erin was.

"Of course." Was all Ed's little brother had to say before he left from the kitchen. After that, Erin brushed his hair aside a bit before smiling.

"You'll live to see another day, Major Elric." She stated, making him snort.

"Like I didn't already know that." He grunted, but then he glanced over to the girl. She was still wearing his shirt, and though he was pissed that it was a little short on her, he was a little distracted with the tattoo gliding across her hip bone.

"It's called a Trinity Knot," She said, making his eyes wander back up to hers. She looked down at him with a smile before showing the marking properly. "It's known for many things, every person has a personal connection with it."

He looked at the tattoo, it wasn't very big, perhaps the size of his palm, but the black ink stood out strong against her light skin. She circled the ring that went through the tattoo with her finger.

"This circle is meant for eternity. For me, it is that even in death I have life. Mother always said, you live once, you live always. I suppose it's because even though you're gone, you still made an impact on the world." She then pointed to the triangular knot. "And this can represent a lot of things, for me it is my Father, Mother, and Brother. It's also the symbol of balance. Creation, Growth, and Death. One big cycle that never ends."

He found his hands tracing the pattern too, until he felt her shudder a bit. It was only then that he realized he was touching her skin, his eyes went up to hers. She looked surprised, but didn't say a word.

Slowly, he let his hand drop, he looked away.

"Sorry." He muttered. She went to reply, but Al came out of the house.

"I've got the medical kit." Al said, making the girl smile.

"Great, alright you big baby, let's get you cleaned up!" She said, but before he could comment, he felt the cold water of the hose drop right onto him.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" He shouted, but then Erin told Al to hold his brother still. "Traitor!" He shouted, but Al only scolded him as Erin got to work on cleaning the wound.

"Sorry, but cold water will reduce the swelling and slow the blood flow." Erin said, but Ed wasn't happy still.

"You're going to kill off all my brain cells!" He shouted, making her snort.

"You've got plenty more where that came from." She muttered. "Besides, if you really are worried, don't get hit by Winry's wrenches."

Ed had nothing to say back to that. When the girl put down the hose, she proceeded to rub the wound clean with some alcohol before carefully cleaning it up a bit more.

"Since it's in your hairline I guess bandages are worthless," She muttered, sighing as though longing for something. "Oh well, it stopped bleeding. Just don't be stupid, alright?"

"Yeah, whatever." He muttered, the girl hadn't noticed, he was eying the hose. As soon as Al let go of him, he stood up and took a step towards the still running hose. "Hey Erin."

She looked over to the blond boy, her eyes widened just in time to see the water come crashing down on her. She was so shocked that she didn't move for a full three seconds. By the time Edward stopped spraying her, she was absolutely drenched, much like himself. She closed her eyes, Al felt bad that he couldn't help her in this type of situation, but then her eyes snapped open.

Ed thought he saw Hell.

"EDWARD ELRIC THAT WAS FUCKING COOOOLLLLDDDD!" She screamed in a voice he'd never heard come from a girl her size, before chasing him. He had the right state of mind to run, but he dropped the hose. "Yes!" The girl screamed as she grabbed the hose, preparing to spray the boy. Ed wasn't going to be beat so easily though.

As Erin reared the hose back to hit Edward, the boy clapped his hands, before touching the ground. Erin's eyes widened as she saw this, before a huge curved roof and wall covered the boy.

Just in the nick of time too, because another wrench came flying right at him. It was thrown so hard it embedded into the wall.

"WHAT DID I TELL YOU?! BE QUIET!"

In that moment, all three knew they'd just seen Hell.

* * *

(Erin)

We were banned from being even near the house for the rest of the day.

I blamed Edward, who blamed me. Al just sighed, calling us both idiots. Well, I guess I had to agree with him for once. We had gotten into our proper clothes, and were currently sitting by the river. I sighed a little, looking up to the sky.

"Hey Ed?" I asked, not receiving a response for a moment. Was he asleep with the warm sunset?

"What?" He muttered, sounding half out of it.

"I was thinking about before... you never use transmutation circles when you've got both your arms." I said, looking over to him. He made a grunting noise, before sitting up and looking at his hands.

"That's because..." He trailed off in thought, I sat up too to look at him. Instead of saying what he wanted to say, he clapped his hands together. "By clapping my hands, I form an array within myself. Then I simply have to identify my materials, break them down, and build them into something else."

He finished saying this before he touched the ground in front of him. I watched in awe, amazed as he made a miniature model of the Rockbell house. Looking to my own hands, I clapped them together. Al sat up to look at the two of us.

"So you just clap your hands..." I trailed off, picturing the basic array I had drawn before. I felt something inside of me surge, like a fire that was trying to escape.

"Yeah, but you can't do it unless-" He stopped talking as I slammed my hands into the dirt, blue sparks forming around me as I built a figurine of a cat. It looked like a Hello Kitty. A grin spread across my face as I stared at my hands.

"Hey! I can do it... too..." My mirth flew away as I saw the look on Edward's face. A look of utter shock and pain. My own eyes widened as I stared at him. "...Ed?"

He looked down, his bangs covering his face. His whole body was trembling. Al leaned closer to me.

"Erin," He began, sounding so serious. I looked over to him, my eyes still wide. "We need to know when you did it."

What did I do?

"I don't... I don't understand...?" I asked, uncertain.

"He means when did you perform a human transmutation?" Ed asked, sounding sharp and upset. My eyes snapped to him, noticing he was now standing.

"But I didn't-"

"Stop lying!" Edward snapped, making me shiver. He looked really scary now. The look in his eyes... he was trying to look through me.

Then it hit me.

"That means..." I began, looking to the ground. "That you both tried human transmutation... Is that why you're... like this...?"

"Shut up!" Ed snapped, making me look at him again. Why would they do such a thing? Who were they trying to bring back...?

Then it hit me.

Their Mother.

"When did you try to preform human transmutation? How did you not give anything up to the Gate? Or was that scar the only thing you really gave up? Equivalent exchange, yeah right."

He seemed so angry, but I had to explain.

"You don't understand-"

"Yes I do!" Ed snapped so badly I jumped to my feet out of reflex. He gritted his teeth. "After all this time, you wanted to learn alchemy to figure out how to properly do human transmutation, right? You want to bring someone back, is that why you need to learn so badly?"

"Brother." Al cut in.

"What?!" Ed shouted, looking to his brother, but then they both looked to me, Ed's eyes widened a little in surprise.

I'm not sure when, but somewhere along the line, my body just couldn't stop shaking. I felt so scared, scared because I knew Edward was about to do what everyone else did.

Reject me.

My eyes fell to the grass, I couldn't do much else other than shake.

"No," I whimpered. "I promise, I've never done it. I'm sorry, I'm really really sorry."

"Erin..." Al began, but when Edward took a step towards me, I took two back. Hot tears were falling from my eyes.

"I understand you hate me, I get it, really. I would hate me too. You lost so much... and I...?"

I felt so awful. With one clap, I had literally ruined one of the best friendships I'd ever had. The look in Edward's eyes when he yelled at me was imprinted into my brain. I winced, my shoulders still trembling.

"Erin," Edward's voice held a weak tone, he sounded lost. "Just look at me."

"No!" I shouted, holding my head to block out his voice. "I don't want to hear it! Always! It's always like this!"

"Erin..." Al called, but I shook my head, dropping my arms.

"It's okay, I understand." I said, giving a sad smile. "Nobody really likes me, sometimes I wonder, if Brother wasn't related to me, if he would love me either."

"Dammit Erin!" Ed shouted, his footsteps coming into view. Before I could wretch away, he grabbed both my shoulders. I looked up to his eyes, feeling like a startled doe. "That's not what I'm trying to tell you!"

Those eyes.

Such beautiful, fierce eyes. Like molten gold.

They weren't filled with hatred anymore.

What was he-

**_BOOM_**

My eyes shot to the sky, all three of us looking in surprise as a huge mass flew over us.

A... blimp..?

Did they even have those in Amestris?

It dropped something in an open field, and not a second later, yet another explosion went off. The force made the three of us fall over. I winced as I hit my head, feeling dizzy.

"Erin!" Al called, grabbing on to me.

"A-Al...?" I asked, seeing three of him. "Tell your twins to stop moving."

"Al, you watch her, I'll go and-"

**_BOOM_**

My ears were ringing as yet another bomb went off nearby. Luckily none of the house were hit, but with the clouds rolling in I was really hoping some rain would bring relief to the flaming fields.

The blimp was lowering, hovering not twenty feet from the ground we laid on. My whole body was aching, Al was holding me near him as men came down on ladders from the blimp. The two brothers were fighting, Al sticking closer to me as Ed was fighting further off. I laid there for a moment, until i felt someone grab my arm and yank me to my feet.

"Thanks." I muttered, before swinging and punching aimlessly in the person's general direction. A man fell over at the contact, before more men came at me. I was so dizzy... my head was swinging around as I tried to keep balanced. My body was still trembling too, I'd never been in a fight with actually guns, but watching the boys disarm the men gave me a glimmer of hope.

I was really sloppy, so I put more push in my punches, it worked for a bit, but then I felt a cold metal against my temple. I froze for a second, hearing the familiar _click_. My body stood stock still, until something hit me really hard in the back of my skull.

I fell over, into black.

* * *

**Author's Note!**

**Hi guys!  
**

**Wow! I got three reviews! I'm super duper happy now! Haha sorry this took so long! I was writing out the rest of the plot, fiddling with it, and editing the story up until this point!  
**

**Hm, some intense changes in the plot! Hopefully I wrote the emotions properly, I tried to get into Ed's head a bit and found I was completely outmatched in intellect, so hopefully this will suffice!**

**So I hope you guys like this chapter, it was really fun to write! I will probably put another chapter up in the next few days, but then I plan to try and up on either Saturdays or Mondays... depends on my schedule, along with the show season! **

**Huge thank you to AuthorChick96, Gaibriel, and somedayisours! **

**Thanks for reading! Please review!**

**Cheers!**

_Iland Girl_


	13. With These Hands of Mine

**THE OUTSIDER**

* * *

_by_ Iland Girl

"_For those without 'purpose'."_

A Fullmetal Alchemist Fanfiction

_I don't own anybody but my OC's!  
_

* * *

**_Chapter 12  
_**

_"With These Hands of Mine"_

* * *

_"I mean, you could claim that __anything's_ real if the only basis for believing in it is that nobody's _proved_ it doesn't exist!"  
― J.K. Rowling

* * *

(Edward)

He didn't understand why they were here now.

The bandits from the train, why did they come here of all places?!

"Brother!" Al shouted to him. Ed kicked away another man before looking over his shoulder. His eyes widened as he saw Erin on one of the men's shoulders, the man holding onto a ladder as it flew up to the strange airborne contraption.

"Dammit!" He shouted, clapping his hands, but then a heavy object hit the back of his head. The blonde fell to the ground, but scampered up unsteadily. Men were running to the ladders, he knew he had to as well, for Erin's sake.

"Al!" He shouted, the armor knowing exactly what had to be done before it was even spoken. They took off towards the nearest ladders, but it was way too high! Edward growled, before clapping his hands and placing them on the ground. A blunt spike came shooting out right under his two feet, sending him flying up towards the ladder.

His arms swung out, and he managed to grab the bottom rung. A victorious smirk spread across his face, but then it paled as he saw the ladder empty of others. At the top they were working on cutting the rope. He had to move fast-

Too late, they cut the ropes free, and Edward began his forty foot plummet. He let out a shout as he neared the ground, but then blue sparks greeted his vision.

Al had used alchemy to catch him half way, small layers of dirt slowing down his fall until he touched ground at a near nonexistent pace. The older brother leaped up immediately, watching the huge hover float away. He could barely see it amidst the smoke of the burning fields, but it was still there. Slowly gaining distance...!

"C'mon Al!" Ed shouted, eyes never leaving the machine. Al stood up, but then looked around.

"Ed!" He shouted. The blonde looked to him before following his gaze. His eyes widened, the Rockbells was on fire. His legs locked, his eyes darted between Erin's captors and his best friend's home. He closed his eyes, hands tightened into fists.

"Sorry," He begged, before his legs began to pump towards the yellow house. Al was hot on his heels, both boys watching as Winry and Pinako stood outside their home, using only the tiny hose to put out the flames. Winry noticed the boys, her eyes wide with panic, but neither looked injured. Ed wasted no time, neither did Al, as Ed clapped his hands.

He placed his hands on the ground, making dirt chunks fly up. It crumbled into dust before falling onto the flames, smoldering them. Al followed by using the hose to spread the water more evenly, making a sludge across the house to put out any still flickering flames. The field that had caught fire had come to the house, so Ed unsettled the dirt in a one hundred foot circle around them to ensure no more flames would come close.

With that done, he urgently looked to the sky. His heart sunk when he didn't see the machine anymore.

The sky was cloudy, smoke clouds filtering in naturally.

"Ed?" Winry asked, but the boy never looked away from the sky. "Where's Erin?"

It began to rain, Ed's automail arm nearly breaking itself he clenched so tight. Al looked away when Winry looked to him, her eyes widened when Ed spoke.

"She was kidnapped."

* * *

(Edward)

"What do we do now, Brother?" Al asked as Ed sat on the couch. His head was hung, a cloth settled over his gold locks. They had searched the skies as far as they could, but there was no sign of the flying machine again.

Edward remained quiet, glaring down at the cup of tea in front of him. What should they do? How could they possibly find her?

Erin... where was she?

"I don't know." He said harshly, closing his eyes. Al looked down, still wiping soot from his armor. He knew his brother was upset, because they had broken their promises.

"We failed her." Alphonse said, making Edward twitch. He had spoken the words Ed didn't want to admit out loud.

"Yeah, I'd call that a big fat failure." He whispered, opening his eyes to glare at his reflection. His wound that Erin had cleaned up reopened, bleeding down the side of his face. He didn't bother to wipe it away yet. The question still remained though.

What next?

Winry walked in then, looking down as well as she looked at the boys.

"You have a call Ed." She said, before disappearing. Edward growled, knowing the Colonel he was going to go on a short joke spree. He really wasn't in the mood.

Cursing under his breath, Ed stood before stomping over to the phone.

"What?" He snapped.

"_Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning."_ Mustang teased. Edward growled.

"I'm not in the mood for this Mustang, if you don't have anything else to say I'm really busy." He snapped again, pinching the bridge of his nose to keep a headache from coming on.

_"Fine then, I won't tell you where the train robbers are located."_ Mustang said in a rather teasing tone. When it went dead quiet though, Roy knew something was off.

"Where are they?" Ed demanded, his voice low, scared to raise it as though it might ruin everything.

_"What's your rush? As I recall you have a certain girl to take to Dublith."_ Roy teased, but when he wasn't met with shouting he knew something was very wrong.

"They took her." Ed said after a long pause, hanging his head. This got Roy's attention.

_"The girl, what's her name?"_ He asked, sounding slightly more interested. Ed frowned, his brow furrowing in confusion.

"Erin."

_"Her full name."_

"Uh... Erin Lallier."

Silence.

Roy was dead silent on the other end, before he finally snapped out of it.

_"Get on the train and get to East City as fast as you can."_

Then he hung up, leaving Ed with about a million questions.

Well, at least they had somewhere to go now.

* * *

(Erin)

My head ached something fierce when I work up. It felt like the ground was shifting around me, I winced. Opening my one eye, I came face to face with a... door?

I shot straight up, leaning against the steel door when the world began to spin. Dammit! What happened?

Then the memories came flooding back, a shiver running down my spine as they did. I looked at my hand when I pulled it away from my face. Crimson was smeared across it.

Great, there goes the rest of my dwindling IQ points.

Looking around, I noted that I was in a square cell, the door having a tiny window to see through. Other than that, there wasn't anything in here. As I stood up, I felt a little... odd. Looking down I could see why.

My face turned white.

They'd stripped me down to my underwear!

I huddled myself together, feeling vulnerable.

"It was a standard precaution."

I damn near jumped out of my skin. My eyes darted to the open door, seeing a pair of dark eyes looking in at me. They looked all over me though, making another shiver run through me. I could make out the edges of a grin as he watched me squirm.

"I could've taken everything away if I was feeling like it. Be happy I kept you in that."

Although I could understand the precaution- the possibility that I could draw a transmutation circle with something on my self- why did he have to _stare_ at me?!

He seemed to feel my fret, and chuckled.

"You'll be given clothes once we land, Miss Lallier." The man said.

"Where are we going? Who are you?" I asked, leaning against the back wall. He didn't answer though, and instead turned away. Closing my eyes, I listened for any other sounds. Come to think of it, didn't he say land? Which meant we were...

Images of the blimp ran through my mind.

So I was still in that? Could Amestrian technology even create such a thing?

Deciding I wasn't getting any answer sitting here, I chose to make an escape.

But... how?

I sighed, looking down at my bare hands. Without any weapons, I didn't stand a chance! Not to mention without a crowbar or some chalk I couldn't make a transmutation circle. Not with just... my... bare hands...

Eureka!

I clapped my hands together, before touching the door. A sweat broke out across my forehead as I concentrated on reconstructing the door. It took a lot more effort than I thought it would, but my efforts were fruitful. With a grin, I shoved the door open and it swung with ease.

However, I was not expecting the guard that was standing outside, looking absolutely shocked. Without a second thought, I punched him in the face. He fell back, then hit his head on the steel wall, before collapsing.

Oh Lord I hope he was just unconscious!

Just as I was about to sneak away, I noted that the man was a little small, albeit just a little taller than me.

A wicked grin settled on my face. Salvation!

* * *

By the time I pulled on the guys clothes and braided my hair before sticking it under my new hat, a knock hit the second door to the multilayer cell. I dragged the unconscious guy (I checked! He was still breathing!) into the cell before shutting it and slumping over like I was knocked out. When nobody answered the knock, the second door opened up.

"Ah!" A man's voice shouted as he ran to the cell door. He and the group following him all muttered something about escaping being a possibility, before they opened the door and walked in. Grinning, I leaped up before slamming the door shut. They all turned to look at me, but I clapped my hands together before changing the lock into solid steel.

Try and get out now!

Before they could say anything to me, I took off running out the door. Stealth had never been one of my talents, so instead I used common sense and tried to stay away from the open, and I even managed to pass a few guys who didn't even look at me! Although I was still hiding behind my bangs, with my long hair hidden it was like I was a brand new person to them.

Still, I kept my head down as much as possible, and when it was fruitless I continued on like I was on some sort of mission. Well I was actually, I had to get to the pilot's deck or whatever of this blimp! If I got to the control center I could A; get out of here, and B;corner the captain and hopefully find out why they were kidnapping me.

I got onto a main hallway, gulping a little when I noticed a lot more men walking around. What was with them?! They were all wearing name brands! Brands of stores I knew, like Hot Topic, Aeropostale, and many more. Looking down at my own clothes, I noticed the Dickies logo on my shirt tag when I pulled it back.

This was getting too weird.

So first these guys show up in a blimp, one that is way beyond Amestrian tech, then I'm seeing name brands on all the people, not to mention I could faintly hear _music_. One thing I learned about Amestris; unless you were rich or pretending to be, music was absolutely useless.

So why is there God damned elevator music playing everywhere?!

"_Attention crew,"_ A voice broke out across the loudspeaker. Everyone, including myself, stopped to listen. "_Block E has been compromised, I repeat, Block E has been compromised."_

A few men whispered, and I figured either I had been notified as escaped or they were trying to lure me out. So as casually as I could, I slipped into a random room.

Only for it to lock behind me.

"Just great..." I muttered, sighing. My grey orbs glanced around, this looked similar to my room, but it was slightly bigger, with a cage door instead of a steel one. I pulled it open easily, frowning that it wasn't locked, before walking inside. There, I found a really big surprise.

The center of the room, it was a giant transmutation circle.

One that looked _very_ familiar.

I took a step closer to confirm it, before closing my eyes and grimacing.

Yes, this was the same design carved into the sewer that had brought me here. This was the very array I had been searching for.

"Ah, so they did capture you."

I jumped out of my skin, turning around as I took a defensive stance. A man stood there, with a meek look about him as he stood hunched over. I noticed his left arm was in a sling. He smiled at me as though I were an old friend, making me extremely wary.

"Forgive me, did I scare you?" He asked in such a soft voice. I raise a brow, but dropped my block.

"Who are you?" I asked, frowning slightly at him. He opened his eyes, they were gold- much like Edward's. Yet they lacked the determination, the air of confidence that Edward radiated. Still, the man closed his eyes before smiling, his skin wrinkling as he made the kind gesture.

"You can call me Roger, or Doctor Eastrin. Whichever you prefer."

A pause.

"Eastrin, huh?"

Where did that sound familiar?

* * *

(Edward)

They had finally reached East City, taking the train for over two days nonstop had gotten them there fast, but Edward could feel his skin itching. He was wasting time, he needed to find Erin, but where to look? That was the only reason he came here, because Mustang had to have _something_ important if he made them stop their search.

What was it though?

"He'll see you right away, Ed." Hawkeye told him. Edward nodded, marching away into the office. He slammed the door opened, and shut it in the same manner. Mustang was sitting at his desk, leaning casually on one hand while he read some papers. When Edward entered, he looked up.

"About time you got here." Was all the dark haired man said. Edward snorted, storming up to the Colonel.

"You better have something pretty big to drag me all the way out here." Edward snapped, already tired of the Flame. The older alchemist gave a start of a laugh, but then he handed Edward the notes he'd be reading.

"What's this?" Edward asked, sounding even more impatient. He didn't have time to read!

"A document I found. It's pertaining to the stone, if you must know." Roy said, making Edward narrow his eyes as he refused to read it. He needed to find Erin, no sidetracking!

"I don't have time for this Mustang!" Edward said, frustrated that the man never gave him anything of value at the moment. Right now...

"If you read it, I'm sure you would find it of great value." Roy insisted, making Edward slam the notes down.

"What are you talking about?!" He shouted, getting even more impatient, if possible.

"Take it easy," Roy scolded, but Ed didn't budge. "The name I found, that was what is so important."

Finally giving in, Edward looked at the notes, skimming through them briefly until something caught his eye. It was a name, just a basic last name that shouldn't have held any value. Or it wouldn't have, a month ago. His eyes widened, his throat wanting to close up.

"..._Lallier._..?!"

* * *

(Erin)

"I'm sorry that they captured you, you see I told them to find my partner, but I suppose Lallier as the only thing that they really connected." Doctor Eastrin said, scratching the back of his neck. I looked around the room, now noticing the many books and viles set up, cabinets and chalk strewn everywhere.

"Your partner... huh?" I began, not really registering. Then my eyes widened as they snapped to him. "You couldn't possibly be referring to-"

"Anatol Lallier, yes," He said calmly. My chest tightened, and suddenly my body started shaking. Yet all the man did was smile. "I knew you were his daughter the moment you walked into the room. You have his eyes."

My knees wobbled a little, I had to lean against the wall for support. My breaths felt ragged as I stared at the floor, trying to make sense of it all.

So... Father was... from this side...?

"By your reaction, you must be Isobel's daughter."

My head snapped up, eyes wide with shock. He chuckled a little, going over to a table before flipping through some books.

"Anatol had a girlfriend when he and I were working together, but after his ventures to the other side, well, he found Isobel and knew where his heart truly lied." He said before picking something out of the books and walking over to me. He held out the object, a photograph.

My heart felt warm when I looked at it, of Father and Mother, her belly swollen. It must've been just before we were born, as there was snow just outside the window in the background.

They looked so happy...

Then something registered.

"You know about it then? The other side." I looked up to him, tentative about his expression. He looked a little grim, but then nodded.

"Yes, I was the one to help your father go across the gate."

* * *

(Edward)

"This is a file from Doctor Eastrin, one of the few files that I had to find shoved at the back of Central Library." Mustang said, holding out a slim folder. Edward took it, skimming through as Mustang reiterated it.

"It basically talks of the other side of the gate, much like the file of Lallier's. Only Eastrin said he found heaven. A place free of harm, a place untouched by sins and hatred." Mustang explained, Ed frowned as he finished skimming.

"Other side? How do we know it wasn't just a bunch of lies?" He scrutinized, but Roy pulled out yet another folder. He held it out to the Fullmetal, said blonde looking at it curiously before grasping it with both hands.

"Because of this."

Edward opened the file, shocked to find photographs of things he'd never before seen. A strange metal machine that had propellers and... wings? Trains that didn't run on coal, odd looking cars, a strange box with images playing across the front. There were dozens more, including the blueprints for the machine that had taken Erin away.

His eyes widened again.

"I've seen this," He said, pointing to the blue print. "That's what took Erin away..."

The blonde was thoughtful for a second, the gears turning away in his head. He was thinking rapidly, a million miles a minute, until-

"How did he get to this other side anyway?" Ed asked, making Roy chuckle.

"How did you get there?"

* * *

(Erin)

"So you, Dad, and your two friends all worked on figuring out what the gate was?" I asked, amazed by the long lists of research he had. He smiled, nodding.

"We never got any true theories made, due to the obvious issues, but we were able to learn that by going through the gate we could travel between the two worlds." He explained, making me frown.

"So why are you still alive?" I asked, confused. "The gate... to travel so many times-"

"I gave up a different piece of myself. You see there must be balance."

I frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"Your father was the one to theorize it. He believes that the gate is the connection between our worlds. A generator. When life dies on one side, he believes it is used on the other, in balance. Which was why were can pass through, because our souls emit energy. We aren't converted because we are alive. However, matter doesn't transport on it's own, you have to give something up to pass through."

I held a hand over my right eye, frowning at him.

"But then that means I didn't pay enough. My whole body went through, but my right eye lost it's sight." I challenged, he just chuckled.

"Is that all you've lost?"

My eyes widened as I made a fist at him.

"What do you mean?! Of course I still have the rest of me! Look at me! I'm all here!" I shouted, getting upset. He just kept on damn well smiling!

"What about your soul?"

That made me gasp, I'd never thought of it on that scale. Eastrin closed his eyes.

"Your soul is the spark that gives you life, and so long as you have that energy, you exist. But when that energy stops, you do as well. It's how you die. However, the gate is a generator, but you cannot make something up from nothing. It's basic alchemy."

I finally understood what he was saying.

"You mean I... I gave up part of my life span...?! Just to get here?!" I squeaked, panicking. Was that what Truth took?! Was that for payment to get through? What about my eye? I looked to my hands- was it payment for my new ability?

"Yes," Eastrin said, no longer smiling. "I suppose that was what led me down this path. I asked it, Truth, how much life I had. He told me I wouldn't see my daughter's marriage."

I frowned, feeling sorry for him. To know you'd never see that day... Yet he had asked, should I really feel sorry for him?

But he was in the same spot as I. How much energy did it take to bring me over? I paled at the thought of never even seeing my first wrinkle. That was a milestone!

"So you lost you lifespan... but what about my father?" I asked. Eastrin snorted though, frowning.

"Lallier? He gave up his memories of his parents." He paused, making me frown. Dad forgot... about his parents? I couldn't imagine losing such precious memories. It made sense though, the brain actively used energy to store memories. So by getting rid of them, there was an abundance of energy to be used elsewhere.

"That was to get to the other side, coming back was a whole different tale."

"You had to give up more?!" I gasped. Eastrin nodded.

"I lost near all the memories of my family." My eyes widened, I gasped. He scratched the back of his head. "I can't even remember my wife's name, or my son's age. And if it wasn't for Lallier, I would've forgotten them completely."

To forget your loved ones...

I thought of Bray, Auntie and Uncle, my parents, my boys...

My heart sunk.

"There has to be another way! There has to be a way through without giving up such things!" I shouted. Eastrin sighed, shaking his head.

"There isn't. You have to give up something of equal value." He said, sounding downtrodden. I growled, scowling as I stomped my foot. Truth's words ringing in my head.

"There is always another way!"

* * *

(Edward)

I don't care how talented of an alchemist these guys were!" Edward shouted, slapping down the reports before glaring at them. "If anyone were to cross the gate more than once they would've lost nearly half of themselves."

Mustang sat silently for a moment, but then he smirked.

"Yes, that would be the case," He paused, making Edward look at him. "Unless he found a way around equivalent exchange. A bypass if you will."

It was silent for a moment, but then Ed smirked. New confidence filling him as he grinned at the Colonel.

"The Philosopher's Stone."

* * *

(Erin)

"The... Philosopher's Stone?" I asked, completely clueless.

Eastrin nodded, grabbing a book before leafing through the pages as he walked over to me.

"This stone had the ability to bypass the energy needed to travel. Allowing not only Lallier, but this band of thieves, to travel across the gate without any real conflict."

He said this before holding up the book to my face. I skimmed over the lines. It explained the red stone, and all of it's legends.

"But it's just a myth!" I exclaimed, but Eastrin chuckled.

"Which is what I said too, until your father found out how to make one." He explained, walking over to look at the transmutation circle. A sad smile on his face. "Using it, Lallier managed to come back and forth for over a year, until he decided to take all of his research and hide it on the other side. Where no one who could do alchemy would find it."

I sucked in a breath, closing my eyes.

"Father died over a year ago." I said, watching him look at me with surprise. Sadness filled my eyes at his expression.

"I see..." He said, trailing off. I closed my eyes, willing back tears at the memory.

"So if Father used the stone, and he managed to travel multiple times through the gate... it must be very powerful." I began, earning a nod from the brown haired male. My face turned fierce, I had to get this stone!

For me, and for the brothers!

"How do I make one of these?" I asked, watching with curiosity as Eastrin looked shocked. It took a moment, but then I realized he was actually looking behind me. Turning, I ducked just before a shot rung out in the air. Four men were standing by the door, I dove behind a table just as the Doctor held out his hands in surrender.

"P-Please! I won't fight-"

_**BANG**_

I watched, terrified, as the man winced, falling over. His left arm bleeding horribly. I would've crawled over to him, had I not heard all the men walking over to me. Looking around frantically, I noticed the single light bulb above me, along with the large glass container that was on the ground beside me.

Here goes nothing.

Grabbing the glass fixture, I chucked it into the air. I winced when a gun shot was sounded, but they missed me as the glass flew towards the light. The bulb shattered, darkness falling on all of us. Feeling around where I remembered the Doctor being, I kept note of the men trying to coordinate. I felt the blood on the ground, then grabbed the doctor. Whether he knew it was me from how small my hands were or he just didn't care, the man followed me as we crawled for where I remembered the exit being.

One of the men tripped over me, his gun shooting another man, who pulled the trigger. The sound of glass breaking, and the shrill cries of another man made me all the more eager to get out of there.

Once out in the hallways, we took off running for the front of the blimp. The doctor was slow with his wound, but he managed to catch up.

"We have to get out!" I said, slightly out of breath. If we stopped moving, we'd be dead meat for sure. We made it to the control room, only one man was in there, surprisingly, and the doctor knocked him out with a punch before I could even blink. We made eye contact, he gave me a sheepish look.

"Looks like we're over a lake." I muttered, glancing out the window. When I looked back, I paled as Eastrin fumbled with the controls. Red lights started flashing, the sound of people shouting coming to my ears over the noises of the alarm.

"Barricade the door!" Eastrin shouted, and the only thing I could do was comply. I clapped my hands, welding the door shut. A huge sweat broke out across my forehead, I felt so tired...

"What did you do?!" I shouted, gaining energy when I noticed the water was a lot closer. Eastrin chuckled, shrugging.

"I guessed...?"

I paled.

"We're gunna die you idiot!" I screamed, panicked. Eastrin pressed a button though, and the wall slid open to reveal... parachutes?

"Looks like those are supposed to be used to escape!" Eastrin shouted. I grabbed one right away, if we jumped now we'd make it out alive. I clapped my hands and broke the glass. A harsh wind filled the room, I looked over to see Eastrin just standing there. Although I tried to shout at him, even I couldn't hear my voice, so instead I pointed to the backpacks. Eastrin smiled, but then shook his head.

I didn't understand... what-

_"I lost near all the memories of my family."_

He... didn't remember them. So he... didn't want to... live...?

I still didn't understand, but when I tried to climb back in and grab a bag for him, he surprised me.

The damn doctor pushed me out the window!

"NO!" I screamed, reaching for him as I was tossed with the forces of gravity. Plummeting, half way down I had the sense to pull the cord. The chute opened, and I used it to land in the water not far from a shore line. I pulled off the parachute, swimming to the dock that I could see. It was then that I looked up to the sky, seeing the blimp.

"Dammit!" I cursed, but maybe the doctor would still-

**_BOOM_**

My mind went blank.

The force of the blimp exploding knocked me down, making me hit my head yet again on a solid surface.

This day just couldn't get any worse.

* * *

(Edward)

How could he not have seen it? The answers were all right in front of him the whole time.

He'd yelled at her for the abuse of alchemy, feeling sorry for himself as well in some miserable way. Yet she hadn't used alchemy before.

_"I don't have parents, well I mean I do, just they aren't around anymore. Furthermore, I don't live here... or anywhere..."_

_"Do you know anything about alchemy?"_

_"I haven't been home for a little while, I want to go back, but I can't, because..."_

_"I made a promise, and the only way I can keep it, is by learning alchemy. If I keep this promise, I can finally go home."_

She couldn't go home, needed alchemy to get there, not to mention her own father was traveling between the two worlds. He closed his eyes in frustration. It was so obvious now!

Erin Lallier was from the other side.

"Right, well this Q and A really helped out a lot of my unanswered questions, but it still doesn't help me with my problem." Edward said, frowning. Mustang wanted to sigh in frustrated- the kid had a one tracked mind, didn't he?

"I'll get a search started for her. Chances are the General will free up more men if it means stopping these kidnappings." Mustang said, but as soon as he stopped speaking, his phone rang. He picked it up, Edward tapping his foot in impatience. He didn't have time for this!

"_Colonel Mustang, I got a call from a town called Circi. A woman says she would like to speak to you. Her name is Erin." _

"Patch it through." He said, making Edward scowl. Just as the blonde was about to storm out, Mustang went and said something that made him stop stone still.

"_Colonel? I-I hope this is the Colonel Edward speaks to..." _

"Erin," Roy said, avoiding saying her last name. Ed stopped in his tracks, spinning around to look at him. "Yes this is the Elric's superior -" Edward twitched" -are you alright?"

"_I-I'm alive! B-But I don't know where I am! I think this is Circi, the nice lady at the shop said so! B-But anyway, it Ed there?! I-I'm scared!" _

"Easy, I'll send him there right now. Just book a room at an inn and Edward will come to pick you up."

"_T-Thank you! I'll be waiting!" _

She hung up, so he did the same. Edward was just itching to strangle the man then as he took his time to explain.

"She says she's fine, but she sounds panicked." Mustang explained.

"Where is she?!"

"Circi."

That was all Edward needed as he spun on his heal before taking off.

"Just a minute Ed."

The blonde slammed to a halt, even though he wanted to book it out the door so so badly. He knew leaving when the Colonel asked him to stay wouldn't bode well in the future.

"What?" The blonde asked flatly. He knew what was going to be said, and he didn't want to talk about it.

"Just how long do you expect to drag this girl around? You do realize she's probably at the end of her limit now." Roy said in a factual tone.

Edward looked at the door knob, maybe Roy was right. Maybe he should just ask somebody else to pick her up, and take her somewhere where she was safe. She would be so much better off with anybody but him. He closed his eyes, images of Nina flashing before his eyes.

He couldn't protect a little girl, how could he protect her?

Yet the looks she'd given him and Al. The warmth she brought when she was happy, the passion, desire, and will that she had. She wanted to help them, and he had let her, was that wrong of him? Yet he couldn't help the one feeling that crossed his mind each time she was mentioned.

Home.

It felt like home, when he, Al and Erin were together. Playing at the Rockbells, talking on the train. It didn't matter where, it felt right when the three of them were together. He couldn't shake it, because it was so plainly there.

_"Home isn't a house, a field, or the place you rest."_

He gripped the door knob, looking to his automail arm. He saw Al's true face, and his armored body. With this hand, he had to protect his brother.

So with his left hand...

_"Home is where your loved ones are." _

Erin's grin crossed his mind.

"Maybe you're right," Edward muttered. "After all, I couldn't even protect a little girl."

Mustang was quiet for a moment, before he made a motion to pick up the phone. With one call he could have a team pick her up and bring her into his custody, take her off Edward's hands.

"Then what's stopping you?"

What was stopping him?

He looked at both his hands, images of his friend and brother passing through him. He clenched his fists, eyes narrowing.

"I made a promise," He began, grabbing the door knob again roughly. "And I plan to keep it."

He slammed the door shut. He'd said the last part so quietly he almost didn't catch it. Letting his hand rest down again, a small smirk appeared on his face.

So long as the kid believed he could do it, Roy would let this ball keep rolling.

* * *

**Author's Note!**

**Hi guys!  
**

**So I just had to write this, because I was totally squealing when I thought of how to use the gate. I've been writing for about four hours straight now! Hopefully you guys liked it too!  
**

**I'm trying really hard to think like Edward, I even put my hair in a braid (we have the same hair length and color) and tried to find some sort of clothing like his, even read a textbook to make the brain juices start flowing! Sadly, I don't think I could ever be as awesome as the really Ed, but I hope this is a close second!**

**I'm really curious what you guys think of this story! Please review! It kills me to see people favorite or read it, but not review. It's like, 'Oh, you want to keep reading? But what is it you like about this story?'. I mean reviews help me as an author connect to you as an audience... it just makes life easier, and sweeter! **

**Okay, I'm done brooding!**

**Huge thank you to Crazyman90 for reviewing!  
**

**Thanks for reading! Again, please review!**

**Cheers!**

_Iland Girl_


	14. By Your Side

**THE OUTSIDER**

* * *

_by_ Iland Girl

"_For those without 'purpose'."_

A Fullmetal Alchemist Fanfiction

_I don't own anybody but my OC's!  
_

* * *

**_Chapter 13  
_**

_"By Your Side"_

* * *

"A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow."  
― William Shakespeare

* * *

(Edward)

"Dammit!"

"Brother!" Al scolded, even though he was feeling about the same as his smaller sibling.

"A train can't just turn around and go back to East City!" The blonde cursed again. Alphonse looked at the train schedule, pointing out the train they wanted.

"The next train doesn't leave until eight in the morning." He said, trying to keep the level head. Out of the two, he had the best chance. Edward was fuming next to his brother, the clench of his palms almost tearing his gloves.

"Dammit!" He growled under his breath. At this rate they wouldn't reach Erin for at least two days! His mind drifted to the terrified look when he'd shouted at her. He didn't mean to scare her, but...

_"I understand you hate me, I get it, really."_

No, he didn't hate her.

"Maybe we should go and find a place to rest." Al offered, looking at the setting sun. It was almost time for bed anyways, getting to an inn would be a bit of a challenge in an hour or two. Ed didn't reply, and instead stormed off. Al followed closely behind.

The younger brother wished he could smile at his brother's back. Al was a lot more level-headed than Ed when it came to sensitive subjects, but he was also the one who attached to things easier. To see his brother so worried about Erin, he almost wanted to smile. He was happy brother had found a good friend. He was happy he had found a good friend in Erin for himself too.

Ed, on the other hand, was too busy stewing to notice his brother's chuckling.

Out of everyone to do it, some stupid, crybaby girl who was so depressing she could make flowers wilt had somehow, in some painfully easy sense, crept up on him and stole a little corner of his mind. A girl with no talent except for crying and making his head hurt, and yet somehow, he knew she would never leave that corner.

She was a permanent resident.

He rubbed his face, despite all the insults he could come up with for her, he just kept seeing that smile. Suddenly all her faults didn't matter, because she had something he saw inspiring.

Passion.

She utterly refused to let them waste themselves, refused to let herself waste away. The girl who, on a whim, began her journey with them. The act of kindness that was meant to up ease the heavy feeling in his gut when she mentioned being without a family or a home... The stupid kid had managed to turn it around. Instead of the brothers being the kind ones, this girl was showing them more kindness than he was ever used to from a stranger.

No, she wasn't a stranger anymore.

She's Erin Lallier; the girl from the other side, who cries like a baby and has the pain tolerance of an ox. This girl who wedged herself into his mind- dammit did she piss him off! Wasn't he supposed to be feeling happy for helping a stranger? He was supposed to stop in East City, ask the Colonel where to go, then drop her off at Teacher's along the way.

Simple as that.

Yet somehow...

Somehow, a no talent saved his sorry ass from Scar. Somehow, a crybaby made him want to cry tears of joy when she accepted him and Al for how they were. Somehow, an ugly scarred girl managed to make herself looking stunning by reminding them how to laugh.

Dammit.

Erin, _where are you_?!

Then he caught the flicker of blonde hair, swaying down the back of a girl with a blue jacket and black pants caught his eye. Her hair looked a tone or two lighter than Ed's.

Could it be...?

He took off running, startling his brother. Al looked at Ed for a moment, before chasing after him.

"Ed! Wait!"

* * *

(Erin)

"Why does the world hate me?!" I whined, walking around in my still damp clothing. I had wrung them out and let them dry a bit while I laid out on the dock, regaining my sense of balance.

Clearly I was not cut out for this whole adventure scheme.

After I had dried off and calmed down, I felt _really_ tired. As in if I didn't find an Inn soon, or beg for some change, I was going to pass out on a bench and not feel the least bit ashamed.

I yawned, turning a corner, but then a hand clasped around my shoulder. Nearly jumping out of my skin, I turned to punch the person.

"Hey! Easy there!"

My eyes widened as I came face to face with Edward. A smile began to creep on my lips, that is, until I remembered our last conversation. My mouth drew into a straight line, but I couldn't look away from those beautiful orbs. Despite not wanting to be near him due to personal reasons, I felt so incredibly safe standing next to him.

"Ed..ward?" I asked, feeling a little shaken. He gave a tiny smile, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. He turned, motioning for me to follow.

"Come on, Al's waiting!" He said, and despite my inner turmoil, I jogged to catch up and walked beside him. It was a little odd, something was off about him.

Perhaps he was still angry.

"So what happened?" He asked suddenly. Fear creeped up my neck, I realized he would find out about where I was really from if I said anything about my adventure. So instead, I looked away, sweating a little out of nerves.

"Nothing."

"So they just took you and let you go? Who were those guys anyways?" He asked. Panicking inside, I gave a small smile.

"Yeah, they took the wrong person. Apparently they thought I was some scientist in disguise. Eheh..." I tried to laugh it off, feeling nervous.

"Did they tell you anything at all? You didn't learn a thing about your captors?" He asked, looking somewhere between incredulous and pissed off. I felt even more nervous when a dark look crossed his eyes, before it turned a bit softer. What was that?

"No, they didn't... tell me anything..." I began, looking down, feeling upset at myself. Why was I lying? This was Edward! Yet...

"Then you're more useless than I thought."

Those words made me stop walking, I paused before looking at him, then I ducked. He tried to slice at me with his automail arm!

"What are you doing?!" I squeaked, absolutely terrified. Ed wouldn't do that! Edward was- he wouldn't do such a thing! I screamed as he came at me again, ducking out of the way before taking off at a run.

Not once did I look back.

* * *

(Edward)

"Erin!" Edward exclaimed as he grabbed the girl's shoulder.

She spun around, looking at him with surprise. It was only when he noticed the green eyes, without any bangs covering a nasty scar, that he realized he had the wrong girl. Slowly, he let go, muttering an apology. She gave him a funny look, before walking off.

Edward stood there for a moment, clenching his fists and gritting his teeth. Dammit, he was so caught up in his thoughts he was running after blonde girls now too!

Al caught up to him, realizing the situation right away. Placing a hand on his brother's shoulder, he couldn't feel how Ed twitched at the contact.

"Ed, we'll find her. I know we will." Al insisted. He had to keep thinking calmly, for Edward's sake. The blonde nodded, but before he could voice his own thoughts, a high-pitched scream broke out.

Both brothers snapped their heads up, looking around in surprise.

Where did it come from?

"Al! You go that way, I'll look down here." Edward said, taking off. Al nodded, before taking a running start in the other direction.

* * *

(Erin)

Run.

Run run run!

That's about all I've done for five minutes!

There was no way I could let him find me, if he did, I was totally done for!

I spun around a corner, but at the same time someone did the same. We slammed into each other, and I rocketed to the floor. The other person was heavier, they landed on top of me.

"Ow! My head...again!" I squeaked, holding the throbbing skull of mine.

"Erin?"

I peeked open my eyes, coming face to face with gold. He was kneeling over me, his elbows on either side of my head, his knees trapping my thighs. It took a moment for everything to register.

"Edward?" I asked, slowly.

Then it all sunk in.

I shrieked, shoving him away as I crab walked backwards. He had fallen on his backside, but he looked up at me as I stood. Utter disbelief on his face. I wouldn't buy this trick, I wouldn't fall for it.

I ran like a bat out of Hell.

"Erin!"

He was calling me, but I just kept running. I couldn't stop, if I did... if I did...?

I took a corner, slamming on the brakes.

Oh no.

A dead end.

When I went to turn around and run out, Edward appeared in the entrance. My heart dropped to my gut, I backed against the wall.

"Stay away from me!" I shrieked when he took a step towards me. Edward stopped then, a look of pain crossing his face.

"Erin, it's me, Edward."

"No it's not! Edward wouldn't try to kill me!" I hissed, finding a rock on the ground. I clapped my hands before grabbing it, making it into a crappy looking knife, but it still had one sharp side. Ed watched me for a moment, looking really confused.

"Kill you? I'm not going to kill you." He scoffed, acting like he'd never done what he did. My whole body was trembling, I shrunk against the wall when he took another step.

"Edward isn't here right now! He's in Resembool, or East City, or wherever!" A shaky grin spread across my face. "Nice try, but Edward isn't here."

It was quiet for a bit, Edward closed his eyes. For a second I thought he was going to give up his gimmick, but to my surprise he said something else.

"'Home isn't a house, a field, or the place you rest. It's where someone is waiting for your return. It's where open arms are always your welcoming. Home is where your loved ones are.'" He said, before opening his eyes. They looked so soft then. "You told us this while we were in Resembool. Do you remember?"

I hesitated, but I didn't drop my guard. Edward took a few steps closer to me, but I didn't move a muscle. They were too busy trembling.

He stopped about ten feet away from me, and looked at me in the eye. Then he extended his hand, a sad smile on his face.

"Do you trust me, Erin?"

Do I... trust you... Edward?

My shaky hands dropped the knife, and I ran at him. Skipping his hand, I ran full force into him, wrapping my arms around his body. He hesitated for a moment, before I felt one hand on my head. My knees gave, and soon we were both kneeling in the alleyway. I buried my head in the crook of his neck, and instantly that safe feeling washed over me.

"S-Sorry, Ed, I'm so sorry I doubted it was you...!" I cried, but he didn't move, or say anything. It was silent, save for my sobs, for about five minutes. It was only when the clinking of armor came to my ears that I looked up, seeing Al.

"A-Al?" I asked, a chuckle leaving his lips as he held out his hand.

"Right here, Erin."

Edward let me go, and I stood up before running to hug him too.

"I'm sorry... I'm really sorry."

I repeated this for a while, not sure what else to say. Yet nothing else seemed to matter, because I was safe.

Safe in their arms.

* * *

(Erin)

"What exactly happened Erin?" Al asked. We had decided to sit down at a café. Closer to the back, away from any noise or crowds.

"Not to mention what are you doing here when you were told to stay in Circi?" Edward added. My brow furrowed at this though.

"I never used the phone...?" I asked, uncertain of what to make of this. The brothers gave me a look, before looking at each other. There seemed to be some sort of silent conversation exchanged, before they looked back at me.

"Why don't you start with what happened?" Ed offered. I nodded, gulping as I looked to my coffee cup.

"Well, after I was captured, they locked me in a cell and stripped me of my belongings," I began, looking at my open palms. "But I remembered how to make the array inside of me, and I used it to break out. After a bit of a run, I met a man who had been working... captured... I'm not sure. Either way, he knew about me, about the..."

I paused when I realized what I was saying. My eyes widened as I looked up to the brothers. They were both calm though, making me sweat some more. Edward closed his eyes, and when he opened them, they made me stop quivering. Eyes as strong as those ones, they made me sit up straighter, made me feel stronger.

"We know you're from the other side, Erin." Alphonse said. I twitched at that, looking to the giant suit of armor. There was no accusation in his tone, no hatred, it was as if our last encounter had never happened.

"So tell us, who did you meet?" Al added, making me look down.

"He said his name was Doctor Eastrin." I said, watching as Al gasped, while Ed narrowed his eyes.

"Makes sense, I suppose," He began, looking down at his side. "I saw him getting captured before we met you."

I looked down too, folding my hands into my lap.

"After I met him, he showed me a picture of my father and mother. It must've been taken just a month or two before my brother and I were born. Mom was so swollen..." I looked up to them then, feeling nervous about continuing.

"Erin-" Al began, but Ed intervened.

"You said you trusted us," He began, making my eyes widen again. "And you can. But we can't help you if you don't tell us everything you know."

A lump formed in my throat, but the strong look in those eyes...

I could trust those eyes.

"My Father and Eastrin were working on the gate for a year or two... not sure how long exactly. He said that they were able to get through the gate once, that by giving up part of their lifespan the gate used the lost energy as a trade to bring them across to the other side." I ended through gritted teeth.

"But... that means...!" Al began, I looked up to him, feeling upset as I nodded.

"That means I also gave up a large chunk of my lifespan to come here. How much, I don't know." I said, noticing the grimace on Ed's face. Closing my eyes, I remembered everything else Eastrin told me.

"Where is he now? Doctor Eastrin." Ed asked, but I shook my head.

"He helped me escape, but he exploded the blimp after I had left it. I really doubt he's..." I covered my face with a hand, but then remembered what else the Doctor had told me.

"He said that, after that, my Dad found a way to cross the gate while ignoring equivalency." My eyes opened to see the brothers both listening intently. "He called it the Philosopher's Stone."

It went quiet for another few minutes, I looked down to my coffee cup, using one finger to circle the rim nonstop.

"He never explained how to make it, but he said it holds such a massive amount of power, that my Dad managed to use it for a whole year of traveling. I'm not sure happened to it, but Eastrin said the bandits had used it too, might still be using it..." I looked up to them, feeling hopeful as I smiled a bit. "If we could find this stone, we could bring your bodies back!"

They were dead silent.

My smile dropped, why did they look so down...?

"We already know about the stone." Al said, my eyes darting towards his face. "We've been looking for it for a while now."

"I see..." I began, looking back at my coffee. "A stone that could restore your bodies and bring me home, well, at least that settles one thing."

"Hm?" Both boys began. I smiled.

"That means we share a common goal! Get your bodies back, get me home. All with the red stone."

A connection.

"Of course." Al said as though it were obvious. I looked up to him, surprised.

"Well, that is, if you guys still want me around." I began, ebbs of doubt eating at my nerves. The memories of our last encounter spinning in my head.

_KONK_

"OW!" I cried, holding my throbbing forehead. How many times would I hit it before I lost all my brain cells?! My grey orbs darted to the offending appendage.

Ed's arm.

Edward Elric's _automail_ arm.

"What was that for?!" I whined as I stood up, grabbing his juice glass and holding it to the sore spot. Edward looked pretty pissed off though, but I couldn't fathom why.

"Do you really think we'd go on a wild goose chase half way across the country just for some brat we hated?! Do you seriously think that badly of us?" Ed hissed.

Oh.

"We're your friends Erin," Al said in his usually chipper tone. I looked up to him. "And I protect my friends."

Friends.

I still had... friends?

I placed the glass down softly, before taking the short two steps to stand in front of the massive armor. Al looked at me, before I smiled. Tears wanted to fall, but I held them back as I carefully hugged the armor. Only moments later did I feel the giant arm wrap around me too.

"Thank you." I whispered, pulling away to grin at him. He let out a laugh, scratching the back of his helmet. My orbs darted to the older sibling. He looked a little put off, but then nervous as I turned towards him.

"Hey what do you think you're-" He stopped talking the moment I pulled him into a hug. I knelt down in front of him to hug him, one part because... well Ed is shorter than me, and another because when he sat down he didn't even reach my shoulder. I leaned my head under his chin, and hugged him under his arms.

Al was laughing at Ed's reaction. Clearly the older brother wasn't so touchy feely. I smiled, hugging him tighter.

"H-Hey! What's the big idea?! Get off me you leech! Al stop laughing! This isn't funny!" Edward shouted, but I just hugged him tighter.

"Leech or no leech," I began, pulling away to look up at him. He looked so frazzled then. I closed my eyes and smiled. "I owe you a lot. Both of you, and thank you, thank you so much, for worrying about me."

When I opened my eyes, I was a little startled to see a different look in those fiery eyes.

* * *

(Erin)

"I'm sorry sir, but we only have the one bedroom left. And it only has-"

"Whatever is fine," Ed said, practically leaning his whole weight against the counter. "Straw would be fine too."

He looked really tired, and I didn't blame him, I was leaning against Al, practically fast asleep. Ed got us a room, before the both of us wobbled in front of the easily upright Al.

"You know, it's times like this I wish I was in the armor, there would be no such thing as fatigue!" I cried softly, too tired to argue. Edward opened the door, and I waddled over to the bedroom. With a heavy yawn, I opened the door...

And instantly became awake.

"Move over, or do you plan to hog both beds?" Ed asked, though he sounded tired still. I stiffened before spinning in the doorway and smiled sweetly.

"I think I'm going to take the couch!" I insisted, but my eyes widened when I noticed Al was already lying there, pretending to be asleep. "Hey! Really Al! You can your brother can share! I don't mind taking the couch!"

Al made noises as though he were snoring. I glowered at him.

"Real mature, Al." I grumbled, surprised when I felt Ed tug the back of my jacket collar.

"Shut up and get in here," He said, dragging me in before shutting the door. He yawned, rubbing his eyes. "It's time to... sleep..."

Sweat was literally pouring down me in buckets when Ed noticed the problem.

There was only one bed.

"Great! So I'll take these pillows..." I began, stealing half the pillows from the bed before placing them on the floor side by side. "And I'll sleep down here! Goodnight Mister Elric!"

With that said, I plopped down on the pillows and pretended to snore just as Al had. Edward was growling though.

"What?! You can't just do that! Erin!"

I stayed dead quiet though, and eventually he calmed down before hopping into the bed. There wasn't any talking as I laid there, trying so hard to fall asleep.

About half an hour later (maybe more, I didn't know) I heard the bed squeak. Using all my will power, I kept my eyes closed and my breathing steady, even as I heard Edward kneel next to me. I got the feeling he was waving his hand in my face, judging by the air and feeling that something was right in front of me. Was he checking to see if I was awake?

I felt his cool automail loop under my knees, another behind my back. My body fell limp as he picked me up, smoothly carrying me. he stood there for a moment, before he moved. I felt soft sheets beneath me, he let me go as I laid on the bed. A blanket was pulled over me, and I tried my best not to move as he went to go and lay on the ground where I had been.

You little...!

I peaked over to see Edward uncomfortably lying on the ground. My eyes narrowed.

"Sometimes I wish chivalry was dead."

He jumped nearly ten feet in the air. I sat up, glaring at him as he turned to do the same to me.

"You're supposed to be asleep dammit! Why are you still up?!" He shouted, but then I frowned.

Because the ground isn't comfortable.

"Why are you?" I asked back.

Because you look so uncomfortable.

It was quiet for a moment, before I sighed and pulled back the blanket and moved over.

"Come on, if we're going to start a war, we might as well end it peacefully. Hop in."

I could still see Ed's face as he sat up, looking at me. His eyes narrowed, expecting some sort of trap maybe? I raised a brow, but then smiled and sat up again, offering my hand to him.

"Don't you trust me?"

He was silent for a moment, looking from me to my hand. Then he made a noise of irritation, muttering something before he grabbed some of the pillows and stood up. I slid over again, giving him enough room on the full sized bed. He placed the pillows both down, before plopping himself into the bed.

We were both silent for the longest time. I laid facing him, while he laid facing away from me.

"Is the other side really heaven?"

That question caught me off guard. I looked at the back of Ed's head, but he didn't move. A small smile appeared on my face as I remembered home.

"No," I began, thinking of all the pain and hatred. "It's not that different from this side. Well there are key differences, but just like here. There's good and bad in the world. A balance."

I laid on my back, thinking about all the similarities and differences.

"There's no alchemy." I said out of the blue. This seemed to catch him off guard, as he turned around to face me with a surprised look.

"No alchemy?" He asked, sounding amazed and surprised. I grinned, watching as his eyes filled with wonder.

"Well it's there. Science is there too, but the energy to for reactions is not. The logic is though." I began, explaining what I meant in the most detail I could. I wondered why it was that alchemy didn't exist on the other side. What was so special about this side that allowed this side to use alchemy?

"Interesting." Ed said, sounding far away. I smiled.

"And the year isn't 1914, is 2013." I added, watching Edward's eyes widen.

"So there is a difference in time between our worlds as well..." He said in wonder. I shrugged a little.

"Or perhaps my world is older? Or maybe we just started counting earlier." I began, trying to think of different reasons why the time and fashions, etc. Why didn't they match up?

"Hang on, so if alchemy is a secondary science, what is dominant in your side?" He asked, sounding more awake than me now.

"Physics. We learned how to build machines that are more advanced than anything here, we don't need alchemy because we have it."

I continued to explain all about my world, trying to painfully simplify most of it, although Edward was smart, using terminology and lingo that was from this world was a bit difficult. I had to start at the base and work my way up. It was only while I was talking that I realized just how intelligent Edward really was.

He absorbed the information, even corrected me when I strayed off topic and logic. I was enthralled by the intellect this boy possessed.

My eyes were getting heavy, but I just couldn't fall asleep. I wanted to just stop talking, but then the memory of Mom resurfaced.

Bray and I would always wait until she came in to put us to bed, up until Middle school we had shared a bed, and we would wait until she got there to sing to us, even if we waited all night.

Which was why no babysitter ever lasted more than one night.

We were such horrible kids.

I chuckled.

"What's so funny?" Ed asked, giving me a look. I glanced over at him and smiled, before looking to the ceiling.

"I was thinking, about when Bray and I were small. We used to raise Hell for our babysitters. The only thing that ever got us to go to sleep was Mom singing us to sleep. And even then sometimes I would stay up and use markers to draw on Bray's face." I laughed a little, remembering all the curly mustaches I used to draw, the black eyes... goatees...

I giggled at the memory.

"It sounds like you and your brother were very close." Ed said, smiling at me. I smiled back, feeling a little sad.

"Brother was very protective of me. I doubt I'd have made it this far in my life without him." It was quiet for a few moments. "Kind of like you and Al. I can't remember a time without Bray, we've only ever been separated for a couple of weeks when he went to camp and I broke my leg so I had to stay home. Those nights Mom would sing whatever I wanted to hear to make me fall asleep, or else I wouldn't sleep more than twice a week until Bray returned."

"Do you still miss him? Right now?" He asked, though he probably already knew the answer. I nodded.

"Of course I do, but Bray... he's safe now. And I rather know he's safe than see him here and hurt. Someday I'll be back, and that's good enough for now." I closed my eyes, remembering all the nights Bray would come into my room after I got my scar, all the times he would stay up talking with me, just to make me feel better about that day and the day we had yet to face.

Edward was silent, when I looked at him, I noticed he'd undone his braid. His gold locks cascaded around his face.

He really was beautiful...

"Do you sing?" Edward asked finally. I gave a look of mild surprise, but then I thought.

"Well, I don't really know how good I am." I began thoughtfully. Edward smiled.

"Sing something, I'll be brutally honest."

I felt a little irked.

"No way." I said sharply, Ed laughed at me.

"What? Getting nervous?" He asked, making me feel flustered.

"A little." I admitted, but then he turned to lay on his back, staring to the ceiling.

"There, that make you feel better?" He asked, but I didn't answer at first. Turning on my back as well, I sighed.

"Fine, you win." I began, thinking of the song to sing. Something soft, soothing. There was a song I had wanted my Mother to sing to me, but she died before I could ask her to. Closing my eyes, I began to hm the tune before singing a little bit.

"_Don't you dare look out your window, darling,_  
_ Everything's on fire_  
_ The war outside our door keeps raging on_  
_ Hold on to this lullaby_  
_ Even when music's gone_  
_ Gone_

_ Just close your eyes_  
_ The sun is going down_  
_ You'll be alright_  
_ No one can hurt you now_  
_ Come morning light_  
_ You and I'll be safe and sound._"

I sung the song in a loop for a bit, until I noticed the steady breathing of Ed's as his chest rose and fell in rhythm. Smiling, I pictured Bray where Edward was, and slowly began to move my hand under the sheets. My fingers came in contact with his, the flesh of his left hand warm to the touch. Carefully, I put my hand in his, the warmth of his palm spreading straight through me.

I closed my eyes, lying back to look at the ceiling. It was only when I felt his hand squeeze back in mine that I realized he'd never been asleep. I slowly turned my head to look at him with my left eye, a smile broke across my tired face when I noticed he'd cracked an eye to look at me too.

The last thing I thought before I fell asleep was something along the lines of...

_No fair... You used my tactics..._

* * *

**Author's Note!**

**Hi guys!  
**

**SQUEEEE! I got reviews again! Thanks so much!  
**

**Okay, so I've been editing my plot a lot, and at first this whole scene was a lot more sketchy, but I hope I kept Ed in character, because you have no idea how hard it is to do this! Even with my brain fried from doing chem homework and wearing a braid and even trying to act out Edo, I still lack the necessary qualities to be him T.T**

**I feel like this chapter is missing something... Dear God I hope I didn't forget something vital in my notes!**

**A huge thank you to my three reviewers!  
**

**TruthsMessage; Funny, when I got the email alert to your review, I squealed too. My aunt was not impressed that I woke her up from a nap. **

**Christmasloot; Holy Snaps! I'm a Genius?! I love you! I am not lazy!...On here...RL is a totally different ball game! I'm just morally deprived right now! So, you better enjoy this chapter! :D**

**YouGoGlenCoco; Woot! Glad to hear you love this story!**

**Also! I would like to say one more thing! I was planning on having a Q and A at the end of chapter 15. Pretty much all of you guys review with questions pertaining to Erin, Ed, Al, Hell any character you want! I will answer my questions to the bets of my ability! So long as it isn't asking what happens next in the plot, I will answer! However you are more than welcome to ask any questions about the already explained plot if you are confused!  
**

**I will gather all of the reviews (Hopefully I get some...) and the characters will answer your questions! If all goes well I may do another one later on!**

**Again, thanks so much for reading and reviewing!**

**Cheers!**

_Iland Girl_


	15. Rebuild

**THE OUTSIDER**

* * *

_by_ Iland Girl

"_For those without 'purpose'."_

A Fullmetal Alchemist Fanfiction

_I don't own anybody but my OC's!  
_

* * *

**_Chapter 14  
_**

_"Rebuild"_

* * *

_"You don't have to make something that people call art. Living is an artistic activity, there is an art to getting through the day."  
― Viggo Mortensen_

* * *

(Erin)

White.

There was so much white around me.

It looked painfully familiar, my heart pumped faster in reaction. The expanse was endless, not a single hint that it ever ended. Yet still I foolishly tried to run.

To escape.

I ran like the Devil were at my heels, and for all I knew he was. My chest ached, my legs screamed, but I just kept on running.

Laughing reached my ears, making me slow. My breaths ragged, I turned to my side to see the creature sitting there.

Truth.

I growled.

"This can't be happening." I muttered, a desperate undertone in my words. Truth laughed at me, grinning from ear to ear, as usual.

"**Oh but it** **is!"** It shouted, cackling. My whole body felt confused. My mind told me to run, but my body wouldn't lift a leg. I quivered, but never moved otherwise. It pointed at me then, making me stop shaking.

"**You knew this day would come!_"_**It said. **"Now girl, me your payment!"**

Looking behind me, I was at a loss for breath.

The Gate.

The doors swung open, and those hands darted out at me.

No...

I turned to run, but they began to drag me in.

No...!

"Please! I don't want to die! No you can't take me! Please!"

I reached out, crying. Begging for somebody to help me.

Nobody came.

Until a hand suddenly clasped mine. The black hands of the gate dispersed, the doorway becoming more distant. My head snapped up to look at my savior. My eyes widened when they met those beautiful orbs.

"Ed...ward?"

He grinned at me, helping me to my feet. Al was standing right beside him, I didn't know how but I could tell he was smiling.

"Erin!"

I looked behind me, for who had been calling out to me. My eyes widened as I saw it.

The other end of the gate was open. A light poured in. At the other end was two figures, both smiling and happy.

Auntie...

Bray...

They both had their hands outstretched. I sucked in a breath, a shaky smile on my face as I took a step towards them, trying to reach their hands.

"Guess this is goodbye."

My head turned to Ed and Al. Both were smiling now as they turned to walk away, suddenly seeming very distant. My head turned between the two groups, panic struck me as both groups became more and more distant.

"But I..." I began, knowing where I wanted to go. Yet I didn't know where this place was. I gritted my teeth, covering my head with my hands. Finally, I shouted.

"I want to go home!"

* * *

(Erin)

My face was kissing carpet when I woke up.

My eyes widened as I sat upright and looked around. The setting was unfamiliar... that is until I saw the blonde sprawled out in bed. A smile came over my lips as I remembered my location, but then it burned into a scowl when I put two and two together.

The dirty rat pushed me out of bed!

Oh I'd show him!

Getting back up, I literally pounced on him with the grace of a thrashing fish. I landed right on top of him, but when happened next didn't seem like it could happen until it did.

The moment I touched Ed, he reacted. His hands grasped my wrists, and he used the momentum to roll us both right out of bed. I winced as I hit my shoulder blades hard against the ground, a certain blonde still half asleep as he pinned me to the floor.

A half asleep pipsqueak is pinning me to the floor?!

My ego (or what's left of it) went right out the window at that one.

"Hmmm?" Edward muttered, his eyes still virtually closed. How one managed to do what he just did was beyond me. His eyes began to slowly open as he registered what was going on. Currently his head was lying on my now sore shoulder, the rest of his body on top of my own.

"You know... this would be so bad..." Then I felt little tears at the corner of my eyes. "If your automail hadn't hit my knee...!"

I little a tiny whine out as Ed finally seemed to wake up. He leaped into a knelt position above me, both his legs on either side of mine, his hands still grasping my wrists beside my head.

It finally seemed to register, in both of us, as pink tinted our cheeks.

Then the door opened.

"Good morning! You guys are up ear-"

Chuckling.

The door slowly shut.

I turned crimson, while Ed glared at the door.

"Shut up! This was her fault!" He shouted, also turning more red.

"If it's really my fault could you at least let me go?" I asked, feeling self-conscious as I realized my scar was in full view. Ed looked down at me, and I worried that feature was also noted by him as well.

Ed silently let me get up, I rubbed my sore knee as Ed glanced at his automail leg before giving an uneasy smile.

"Sorry." Was all he offered. I grunted a little, feeling nervous.

"Yeah, it's alright." I muttered before getting up. It hurt to put weight on my leg, but I walked out of the room and sat down on one of the small chairs there. Al was still snickering a bit, but I just yawned before giving a small greeting.

"So, what's the game plan?" I asked when Ed decided to appear a little while later. Ed shrugged, not sure either.

"Probably tell the Colonel we've found you, then he'll probably have some other assignment for me." He said simply, grabbing his coat and pulling on his boots. "I'll go and phone him, you two just wait here."

Al and I watched him leave. Funny, he seemed... put off by something. Al and I looked each other.

"What did you do?" Al asked. I gasped, my eyes widening.

"Me?! He shoved me off the bed!"

Al just laughed.

* * *

(Edward)

"_So I take it you've located the girl_." Roy began casually. Edward snorted.

"Yeah, she's safe and sound. So where's our next mission? Somewhere nearby I hope?" He said a little quickly, irritated at the thought of sitting on the damn train for more than a few hours.

"Your next mission can wait a day," Roy began, making Ed confused. "For now just relax and prepare."

"What?!" Ed began, getting irritated. "I'm so ready to go! There's nothing stopping me!"

"What about Erin?"

Ed paused.

"If you're serious about lugging her along, do you really believe she can keep up with your pace if you keep throwing things at her?"

He'd never thought about that. His eyes softened as he looked at the ground.

"Come see me in East City. I'll expect you there by the end of the week." Roy said in a final tone before hanging up. Ed grumbled a little, before he hung up too. He paused there though, for the first time realizing just what he was asking of Erin.

A girl that was already terrified of most things she saw, and he wanted to drag her into the search of the philosopher's stone? He'd made sense of it by reminding himself that she wanted to go with them.

Because she wanted the stone.

And if there wasn't any stone to take?

He wasn't sure about the answer to that one.

* * *

(Erin)

"So by breaking down the particles in this river you could essentially make hydrogen, and then by adding in the make up of this tree you could make a balloon?" I asked, grinning to myself. Finally something about science I understood! I hated the math behind science, but when it came to the basic components and understanding the make up, science was actually quite interesting.

"Exactly!" Al said, sounding happy. We both sat down in the grass by the river, a short way from the Inn. Edward had been taking forever, so we decided to do something other than twiddle our thumbs. "You're catching on quite quickly."

I grinned at Al.

"When I went to school, we had this crazy teacher that made us memorize the periodic table before writing out whatever it was we remembered, and that was the only table we could use during any of our tests." I said, finally that crazy old bat was proving to be useful. "But I guess that's no big deal for you and Ed, you guys really know your stuff!"

Al scratched the back of his head.

"We only know so much because we studied for a very long time. Brother told me physics is the dominating science in your world though."

"Yeah, my Mother was a genius when it came to Physics, Mechanics, and really anything required to build a moving object," I began, turning around to grab a stick on the ground before drawing in some open dirt. Al watched me as I wrote out a physics equation that was pretty basic. "My Mom taught me a little bit when I was young, but I decided I was more into the Arts when I turned twelve. She gave up on me, but Brother is also pretty smart. Though he couldn't memorize the periodic table as well as I could."

Al looked down at the solved equation, but didn't comment as I smiled at him.

"Arts?" He asked, sounding curious. I shrugged.

"Things like, Literature, artistry, singing, dancing...things with artistic value, you know?" I asked, he gave an understanding nod then.

"So you liked these arts?" Al asked, wanting to know more. I laughed a little before sitting back down.

"When I was really small, my Uncle was the only one who could babysit me and my brother. He used to sit with us before bed, and we play a game. We sat in a circle, and Uncle would start with 'Once upon a time...' then turn to Bray, who would have to come up with a sentence on the spot. Then I would make the next sentence, and then Uncle would continue. We would create the craziest stories... It was then that I realized I wanted to make those stories known. I planned to write a book and become famous one day."

"That's a really great dream!" Al said, laughing a little. I laughed too, but then my stomach gurgled. "Sounds like you're hungry. I bet Brother is too. Why don't you go back to the room and I'll get you both some food?"

"Thanks Al! That's really sweet of you." I said. We both parted ways a little after that.

* * *

(Erin)

My stomach gurgled again when I walked in the door.

"Yeah yeah, I'll feed you." I muttered, walking into the bedroom. I shuffled around, planning on taking my underwear and bra off to wash it in the sink, they were starting to smell... My eyes shifted to the door. It didn't lock, which would possibly cause a very embarrassing situation. With a sigh, I just walked out of the room, before heading to the bathroom. The knob was funny, since you had to really yank it, but I managed to open and shut it without any problems.

Huh... the lights on already- OH SNAP!

I stood there, utterly frozen, as I stared. My eyes wandered up, then down, then up as I turned absolutely red.

Wide gold eyes stared back at me, and we both didn't seem to know what to do about the situation.

Finally, I lost it, and spun to yank the door open.

"Sorry!" I squeaked, but then the worst possible situation occurred.

The stupid knob _broke off_.

I stared at the knob, still in my hand, before huddling against the door. Edward had yet to say anything as he stood there, probably still stark naked. Sweat poured off me in buckets as I tried to think of anything other than... _that_. Still, the memory resurfaced, and- holy damn!

"Carbon, Barium, Lithium, Hydrogen, Sulfur, Florine, Nitrogen, Oxygen..." I continued to name off all the parts to the table, trying my best not to let my thoughts wander.

Well... it would've worked, if a certain sex god- I mean sexy alchemist- no no! I meant Sex- shit just forget I said anything. Anyway, the Elric interrupted me by saying the worst thing possible.

"Uh... Erin? You're sitting on my clothes."

...

I will never enter this bathroom again without knocking, shouting, and sending Al in there first to check. Slowly, I shifted to get off his clothes before handing them to him, my one hand covering my face.

"You really need to learn to lock the damn door." I scolded, thinking about the broken knob lying on the ground beside me.

"I'm sure you would've broken the knob anywa- Hey what are you doing?!" He shouted suddenly, but I just frowned.

"What?" I asked, not daring to remove my hand.

"Y-You're only covering one eye! You're such a perv!" He shouted, but then I laughed a little.

"I can't see out of my right eye Ed." I said, surprised by how quiet it got. "Don't you remember? I'm pretty sure I told you and Al."

"...Right." He muttered, but then I felt like I was being stared at.

"You done yet?" I asked, the image coming back to my head. Dear God I could die happily right now.

"Yeah." He muttered. I took my hand away to see him in his shirt and pants. He didn't look nearly as bothered as I did, making me a little more embarrassed. Ed walked up next to me as I stood, clapping his hands and fixing the knob. "Next time don't use the brute force of an ox to open the door."

I glared flatly at him.

"Wanna run that by me again?"

Just as we exited the washroom, Al came in the other door... seeing us both walk out.

"Did you both just...?" Al began, noticing my horrible amount of sweat from the steamy bathroom and ed's wet hair that could be mistaken for sweat too. I blanched, before turning to huddle against the wall like I had done before.

"Selenium, Phosphorus, Beryllium, Americium, Cerium..."

And thus, the chant continued.

* * *

(Erin)

After careful consideration, I had deduced a nap was very much desired. When I went to bed they had been reading books, but when I woke up a few hours later, Ed said that Al went for a walk.

It was just the two of us again.

And I had named the entire table four times to fall asleep.

Shit.

Ed was sitting on the couch, still reading away, but I noticed he was rubbing his shoulder quite a bit. He looked a little bothered.

"Something wrong with your arm?" I asked, but he didn't even look over at me.

"Nah, it's nothing." He said, making me nod silently. Just as I went to walk to the door though, Ed began to rub his shoulder again. Without really thinking about it, I walked behind the couch and began to press down on his sore shoulder. He looked up at me, nearly dropping his book.

"Really Edward, you don't have to be tough all the time." I said with a slight laugh to my tone. He muttered something, but I never caught it as he turned back to his book. He read, I massaged, for about ten minutes, until he dropped his book. I massaged both his shoulders for a moment, but then I noticed him glance up at me.

"What?" I asked, curious.

"You're really strange, you know that?" He began, making me pause. I blinked owlishly, raising a brow. "You get so riled up by things, but you calm down just as quickly. I've never seen someone like that before." He muttered, but then I just chuckled a little, continuing my massage.

"Well, I suppose it's thanks to Buddha... and my parents." I muttered.

"Buddha?"

"He's an entity back in my world, one of the larger religions out there. Although I never delved into it, I did read his teachings. One of them is telling you to accept what happens around you. Take it in and experience it fully, and then detach yourself from it completely. But also..."

I paused, but then continued.

"My Father, he always told me that there will be someone worse off than me. There will be somebody who is stronger, weaker, smarter, braver, and in more pain than myself. I will never the the best or worst at something. There is nothing special about me. So instead of moping about it, fix it." I laughed a little, remembering my Mom. My hands gripped his shoulders a little roughly. "And my Mom used to say, 'You have a brain, don't you? So use it to fix your own problems.' My Auntie always says it too."

It took a moment for me to realize he was looking at me, but then I also noticed how hard I was squeezing his shoulders. I gasped, turning red as I recoiled my hands.

"I'm sorry! I didn't do anything bad, did I?" I asked, worried I had made his pain worse. He just chuckled a little, though it was mirthless.

"No, I'm fine." He said, looking ahead again. I looked outside, noticing it was raining. Al probably hid for shelter, I doubt he'll be back for a while. Lightning flashed outside, and I remembered our conversation back in Resembool.

"You said... that I had done human alchemy, which was why I didn't need a transmutation circle." I began, looking at the blonde's back. His shoulders tensed then, but I continued. "Was that spoken from... experience?"

Thunder boomed then, a flash flickered and the lights went out. It wasn't dark, but it cast an eery shadow on everything. I looked around, maybe we could get candle or something-

"I thought it would work."

My eyes snapped to the boy, he was... going to explain?

"I ignored every warning, because I wanted to make it work so badly," He said through gritted teeth. I noticed the way his arms clenched, he was so upset. "And it ended up costing Al his body, and my arm and leg."

I was going to say something, but he continued.

"We tried to bring her back," He began, making my eyes widen. "We tried to revive our mom."

The lightning cracked again, and all I could do was stare as he shook with anger.

They tried to... bring back their Mother?

Images of my own mother flashed before me. The sweet smile only mothers have, the kindest only mothers can give. Would I have done the same thing, had I thought it were possible? If alchemy existed in my world, would I have tried it too?

Without a doubt.

Yet these boys...

"You want to call us fools, don't you? For bringing back the dead? Well I learned my lesson, so call me a fool." He ended, sounding so bitter and spiteful. A lump formed in my throat, and for the first time since I had met him, I had nothing to say to Edward. It was quiet, for nearly five minutes, as I thought.

The pain these two have endured, it was outstanding. The fact that they still managed to move forward, taking everything in stride. The fire in Edward's eyes hadn't diminished after such a tragedy. If anything, I believed it would've grown. The love they gave, the feeling they felt.

Who could call that foolish?

I leaned over the back of the couch, resting my head on top of his. Very gently, I wrapped my arms around him, feeling his shoulders tense again. A soft smile played at my lips as I closed my eyes.

"I suppose I'm a bit bias, because had I thought it were possible, I probably would've tried to bring back my Mom and Dad too," I began, Ed didn't move a muscle. "I would've done anything to see mom smile again. And I can tell you both love her very much. But I..."

I rested my head on his shoulder, feeling the cool metal of his automail against my skin.

"How could I possibly call you foolish, for missing your Mom?"

I could feel it then, a tremble rumbling through the boy. His fingers laced through mine, gripping them a little harshly. I smiled though, just sitting there for a moment. When the door opened, Al seemed to realize something was different than earlier. His brother trembling probably gave it away.

"Brother? Erin?" He asked, sounding a little worried. I looked up, smiling at him before extending one of my arms, the one Ed wasn't holding.

"Come here Al! You deserve a hug too." I said, Al sat next to his brother. My arm barely fit around his helmet, but I gave him a huge kiss on the cheek.

"Boys... My boys," I whispered, hugging them both with one arm. "You're both incredible, you know that?"

_No..._

_I don't think you do._

* * *

**Author's Note!**

**Hi guys!  
**

**I took a Mary Sue test with Erin... It got pretty ugly. She's apparently a super sue because she cries a lot... wow that's kind of depressing... Meh, doesn't really matter! ;P **

**Well I figured having a light heart for the majority of the chapter would be nice. Erin FINALLY knows about what Ed and Al did. The only problem with her not being an fma fan? It takes FOREVER for everything to come to light! I was gunna put it off a bit longer... but then I changed my mind :D**

**Hope you guys liked this chapter! I appear to be going in waves. Action, humor, sorrow, romance... and repeat. Dunno why, but I love this flow so much! **

**So... I woke up this morning, and figured maybe one or two people reviewed... and I've got 5! I'm soooo happy! Thanks guys!  
**

**TruthsMessage; Yes squealing! I was doing my happy dance this morning! Thanks for the review!  
**

**AuthorChick96; Yay it was cute! I was freaking out about how mushy it felt writing it. Funny most of the time I feel wrong writing any romance, but it turns out to be pretty good when I reread it! Thanks for the review! You're so consistent and it rocks!  
**

**YouGoGlenCoco; I'm really glad you think I'm original! Believe it or not, I hate competing with the original plot. If you read any of my other stories you'll see I usually start the stories before or after the original... however I just couldn't resist writing it DURING for this one! Thanks for the review! I really hope you keep reading!  
**

**Guest: I'm thrilled people are finding my story! Most of my stories take off consistently from the beginning, but I find it's really hard to attract readers from the fma fandom... dunno why. Anyway, thanks for the review! **

**tWisted Alice; I usually hate the way I begin stories, but I find myself able to reread it all without fail. Clearly I am doing something right! Thank you for thinking it's balanced! I try to fit a little bit of everything, I get bored writing just one thing. :) Thanks for reviewing! **

**PLEASE READ BELOW!**

**Also! I would like to say one more thing! I was planning on having a Q and A at the end of chapter 15. Pretty much all of you guys review with questions pertaining to Erin, Ed, Al, Hell any character you want! I will answer my questions to the bets of my ability! So long as it isn't asking what happens next in the plot, I will answer! However you are more than welcome to ask any questions about the already explained plot if you are confused!  
**

**I will gather all of the reviews (Hopefully I get some...) and the characters will answer your questions! If all goes well I may do another one later on!**

**Again, thanks so much for reading and reviewing!**

**Cheers!**

_Iland Girl_


	16. The Flame Alchemist

**THE OUTSIDER**

* * *

_by_ Iland Girl

"_For those without 'purpose'."_

A Fullmetal Alchemist Fanfiction

_I don't own anybody but my OC's!  
_

* * *

**_Chapter 15  
_**

_"The Flame Alchemist"_

* * *

_"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." _  
― Albert Einstein

* * *

(Erin)

"So Roy Mustang is your superior?"

Edward scowled when the last word left my lips.

"Yeah, something like that." He muttered, feeling put off. I giggled a little, could he ever be a child, I wondered if he even knew it. Al looked between the both of us as we sat on the train. The whistle blew, making me sigh with relief. We were finally moving! Sitting around for a while was nice, but my skin had begun to itch with boredom this morning, despite my fascination while playing with Ed's hair.

Who would've thought that in a place where shampoo was very basic and not seen as a daily requirement, that Ed's hair would be so soft? It's not fair! At home I had to work for hours to make it soft, applying the perfect amount of products carefully every second day.

I'm envious.

The blonde seemed to notice I was staring, and gave me an uneasy look.

"What are you staring for?" He asked, leaning away from where he sat beside me. I narrowed my eyes, but then closed them and turned away.

"Never mind," I muttered, thinking back to this Colonel of theirs. "So the hero really exists."

"What?" Al asked, sounding a little surprised. I smiled, scratching my cheek.

"When I was young, Dad used to tell me stories of the man who commanded the flames. A hero in the midst of darkness. He told me this man would one day rule a country." I said, smiling a little. Edward snorted at that, making me raise a brow.

"Please, the only thing that guy's going to rule is his almighty ego that seems to grow with every promotion." Edward said, but I just smiled before relaxing back in my seat. This Mustang sounded like an interesting character, I wondered what our meeting would be like?

Hmph, only one way to find out.

* * *

(Erin)

Edward went in first without us, legally Al and I were apparently supposed to be waiting outside the building all together. Nobody said anything though as we stood out in the hall.

Then-

"Ah! The Tiny Lallier and Alphonse Elric have appeared!"

Oh dear God.

Major Armstrong appeared down the hall, waving and shouting in that ridiculously deep baritone voice. It made me wince a little bit from how loud it was.

"Hello Major," Al said in his usually chipper way. "Where did you run off to? Last time I saw you was before the attack in Resembool."

Hey that's right! I never really thought of it when Ed and Al showed up without him.

"My apologies, but I had to put my talents to use! These divine muscles had to be slightly strained to help rebuild the homes and fix the damages. The Rockbells were kind enough to explain what happened as I fixed their home as well."

Winry and Pinako's home was trashed? I felt a little dizzy, thinking about how hard that would've been to fix without alchemy. It really was a wonder science.

"That's good to hear Major!" Al said happily, I smiled too. The door Ed had disappeared into a while ago opened then, a woman stepping out and looking to us both.

"The Colonel would like you both to come in." She said in a professional tone. My gaze hardened a bit, my backed straightened.

Now or never.

We both walked in, through to yet another room past a group of soldiers. Ed was sitting on a couch, a man with dark features sitting behind a desk at the end wall. He looked a little younger than I expected him to be, barely thirty I think. He looked like he'd perfected his poker face over the years, I had a feeling trying to outdo this man with wit was a very bad idea and a waste of my time.

"You must be Erin Lallier," He began, I nodded. A smirk formed on his lips. "I've heard quite a bit about you."

This made me raise a brow as I walked all the way up to his desk. Al took a seat on the couch facing opposite of Ed as I did so.

"Same goes for you," I began, smiling a little. "The man who commands the flames. As wild as his title, Roy Mustang."

He chuckled a little.

"I see Lallier never kept any secrets about me." He began, reaching into his desk drawer. He pulled out a photo, I seemed to be finding a lot of those lately, of him and Dad. They were just standing there, smirking at each other. There was a man in between, slinging his arms around their shoulders and grinning at the camera. It was obvious that Dad was quite a bit older than the other two, at least by ten years since Roy and the third man looked almost teen-like in that photo.

"Your Father was a marvelous soldier, and a close friend of mine. He saved me many times on the battle field." He said casually, I took the photograph and smiled. Pride shot through me to hear my Dad had done good.

"I'm glad to hear he was a good man, not just to me and my family, but to others as well." I said, handing him back to photo. "If you wanted to meet me, you clearly know about my situation."

He nodded, sitting back in his chair.

"Although Lallier never told me of his research directly, he did leave a trail of breadcrumbs for me to follow. I must admit, I never would've believed it possible to travel through the gate had I not seen you with my own eyes." He began, holding up a folder to me. "Take a look at these, and tell me what you think."

I took the manilla folder, opening it and peaking inside. My eyes widened at what I saw, Roy seemed to notice my reaction.

"Look familiar?"

"These are..."

I shifted through the pictures, recognizing a few places. My old house when we had that gaudy Chevy beat up truck, the airport with all the airplanes sitting there, the amusement park that was up in summer, and then I came across blueprints for a submarine, a blimp much like the one that carried me away, and a tank.

Oh Christ, is that a panzershrek?!

"These are all things in my world..." I mumbled, splaying the photos out. "My old house, airplanes, submarines, tanks, anti-tank weapons..." I covered my face, pinching my nose.

"We found these in a file in the back of the library." Roy began, taking a look at the blueprints. "We believed some to be weapons, others we weren't certain so they were filed away."

"You have to burn these."

His eyes snapped up to me, I sighed before looking him dead in the eye.

"My home doesn't have alchemy, not to this extent. It's virtually a dead science, and the only reason we can build these is because we use physics. But here... if people learned how to build these _here_..." I paled, smacking my face. "It'd been World War." I muttered, not liking the thought.

It went quiet fr a moment, before Roy took the pictures into his hands and placed them nicely on the corner of his desk.

"I would have to agree with you, however I will keep these in a safe place for now," Was all Roy said, my eyes narrowed, but I didn't argue. There wasn't much that I could really say. He reached into his drawer again, this time pulling out a thick book. "However, I would like to know if this brings up any thoughts."

I took this book, noting 'Lallier' scrawled on this inside of the hard cover. My brows raised as I looked to the other pages.

"This book has been coded, so far we haven't been able to crack the code. It's possible it's been written in another language." He began, but I nodded right away.

"It's written in German." I began, reading the pages.

"German?" Al asked, I nodded.

"One of the thousands of languages on my side of the gate. Dad's second language was German, and he taught it to me since I was very small." I said, reading the pages. A frown formed on my face as I realized what he was talking about in the book.

"What does it say?" Ed asked, sounding quite close now.

"It's talking about World War Two," I muttered, before flipping a few more pages. They remained quiet as I put the book down on the desk, staring at it. "About sixty years ago, a group of men began to kill off specific races. they believed in the 'Master Race', that only one type of person was considered perfect. It was spear headed by one man, they killed a huge mass of people then. All just because of one man's belief."

"Clearly it has some significance to the gate then, if Lallier decided to take note of it." Roy said, we all nodded. "Just how many were killed?"

I closed my eyes, and shook my head.

"Erin," Alphonse began. "Just... how bad was this man?"

I looked at the ground, glaring.

"If you didn't have a certain look, a certain ethnic background, you were tortured and murdered. This man killed over two percent of the world population. He killed over sixty million people."

Al gasped as I heard Ed's hands clench.

"It's a familiar story," Roy began, not even flinching. "Have you ever heard of the country that was destroyed in a single night?"

"No, I haven't." I began, feeling thoughtful.

"The masses were similar, perhaps the stories are connected." He said airily. I nodded, trying to think.

"If it's some sort of genocide, what could the reason be behind it?" I began in wonderment, then I thought back to what Eastrin said.

Souls were, in essence, raw energy. The amount of energy we have is different between people. Which is why we all die at different times. So what happens so our souls once we die? Is it recycled? If so then what is this process? Is it possible that this energy is linked to the gate? Does some strange event occur?

Questions kept piling up around me, and still very few answers were given.

"Perhaps visiting a person who studied with Lallier will help you." Mustang began, getting all three of us to look at him."Did you come across a man named Eastrin while you were captured?"

I blanched a little.

"Well... you see..."

And so I told him, from start to finish, the entire story of my adventure on the blimp. He listened, they all listened, with enthralled attention despite the boys having heard the story already. It was like they were looking for something to say I didn't manage that all on my own.

"I can see why locating him would be a problem," Roy began, but then gave a small smirk. "But there is one more man that you could visit."

"You mean there was another?" I asked, surprised. Eastrin only mentioned my father...

"Does the name Tim Marcoh ring a bell?"

"I read about him in one of the books in the library," Ed began. "They said he was also studying the Philosopher's Stone."

"You mean he's still alive then?" Al asked, sounding surprised. Roy nodded, holding out a piece of paper.

"This is all the information I can give to you, the man ran away during the Ishballan war. He's been a deserter ever since, so finding him won't be an easy task."

Ed took the piece of paper, and instantly began walking to the door. Al began walking out as well after saying his thanks. I followed the suit, but then Roy called to me.

"Erin," He began, making me stop at look at him. A serious look crossed his eyes then. "Do you still plan to go back? To the other side?"

My lips curved up into a sad smile. I knew the day would come when I could finally go home. Get off this crazy ride, and stop having to fight.

"Yeah, I do."

But still...

It was quiet for a moment, but before I could turn around the black haired man added.

"What ever did happen to Lallier?"

I looked to the ground, feeling sick suddenly. Instead of looking at him again, I turned and through a comment over my shoulder.

"He died."

* * *

(Erin)

Edward and Alphonse were talking on the train. I was completely silent, barely catching snippets of their conversation. A funny feeling crossed me as I thought of D day. The day I would finally find the Philosopher's Stone.

The day I could go home and see Auntie and Bray.

It would be a wonderful day; I would go home, Ed and Al would have their bodies back to normal. Things would be back to normal too.

So why does it ache to think like that?

The memories of the old me flashed by, memories of before my scar. I used to be alive, happy too. People liked me, boys crushed on me, the feeling was of utter joy when people spoke to me.

I had taken it all for granted, believing it would be there forever.

The day I came back to school after the accident, things had changed, people had changed, and nobody wanted to be near me anymore. Perhaps that was why I ached in my chest when I thought of going home. Perhaps it was because Ed and Al, after all of this time alone, had pulled me up from my pouting and helped me stand.

Two boys that had felt so much pain. They didn't want others to carry their burdens. They wanted everyone else to be happy, and I would help them anyway I could. Those two... I doubt they'll ever understand what they did for me.

Thoughts of home filled my head as I leaned back against something. I think it was Ed's shoulder, serves him right for taking the window. There wasn't enough brain power in my head to really do or say much, so I simply laid back and let my eyes close. There was no protests, so I didn't react.

Funny, each time I thought of home, a suit of armor and a blonde shorty kept popping into my mind.

* * *

**Author's Note!**

**Hi guys!  
**

**Just a short chapter, I'm not gunna lie I'm really rethinking some of the next few chapters, they're a little boring to write since I've planned over the next fifty... ehheh...  
**

**I've been butchering MY original plot in hopes of adding more twists. Originally this was supposed to be only about fifty chapters, but it might be close to 80... ehheh... So since I am here I will like to remind you guys that this is a T rated fanfiction. Which means a couple of spicy scenes is permissible, but no sex! Why am I saying this? Because I would love to hear your guys' ideas! I love having bits and pieces of scenes where my readers request! Now the overall plot won't be changing as it is so incredibly delicate that I'm trying impossibly hard to give it more structure, but feel free to request certain scenes. If you don't feel comfortable reviewing them, then PM me and I will happily do so!**

**Huge thanks to my reviewers!**

**IQvibe; Yay a new reviewer! Thanks so much for reading my story! Glad to now you like it despite the OC being a main character! Really curious what about ch 12 hit so hard. Feel free to PM me with scene ideas or just a review! Thanks again for reading!  
**

**YouGoGlenCoco; YES! I was aiming for a laugh! Somebody told me I ripped off brotherhood with that scene, but I couldn't understand why, I've never seen a single episode! Anyway, that happened to me! Only I was without any sexy men T.T! I'll definitely keep writing! Hopefully I stay original . FMA is a really hard cookie to crack! Edin? I love it! Go Edin shipping! Thanks for the review! Any scene requests?  
**

**tWisted Alice; Aww I'm glad you like Erin! I find it's fun to write Erin x Al scenes, they're both so kind hearted they go together like PB and J! I think they would be adorable siblings! Edin scenes are really tough to write when Ed's being all serious, because I keep wanting to make him cry, and then go 'OMG NOOOOO! DELETE!' until before the damn tears. Anyway I'm happy you enjoy this story! Any scene requests? Thanks for reviewing! **

**PLEASE READ BELOW!**

**So I guess I'm not having a Q and A with the main characters... sigh, oh well. I guess I could try for chapter 20 LOL. So if you do have any questions, silly or serious, ask away! I'm sure Erin and the Brothers would love to answer some questions!  
**

**Again, thanks so much for reading and reviewing!**

**Cheers!**

_Iland Girl_


	17. Things Are Never As They Seem

**THE OUTSIDER**

* * *

_by_ Iland Girl

"_For those without 'purpose'."_

A Fullmetal Alchemist Fanfiction

_I don't own anybody but my OC's!  
_

* * *

**_Chapter 16  
_**

_"Things Are Never As They Seem"_

* * *

_"I've been making a list of the things they don't teach you at school. They don't teach you how to love somebody. They don't teach you how to be famous. They don't teach you how to be rich or how to be poor. They don't teach you how to walk away from someone you don't love any longer. They don't teach you how to know what's going on in someone else's mind. They don't teach you what to say to someone who's dying. They don't teach you anything worth knowing."  
― Neil Gaiman, __ The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones _

* * *

(Erin)

**BANG**

Dear God.

I ducked behind Al out of sheer surprise.

Why...? Why did this sort of thing happen? Was it because I was with the brothers? Or was I just unfortunate and fate was kicking me in the face? Better yet, Truth was probably laughing at my misfortunes.

Of course this day is just full of awful surprises. For starters, I had fallen asleep on Ed. Now that might not seem so bad, but the fact was I was in an awkward position, and now my neck ached something fierce. Next we had to skip lunch AND we never had breakfast, since Ed was too stubborn to think of food.

After that I was almost mauled by a bull when I tried to grab an apple from a tree. I was starving alright? I would leave some money, but I never even got to taste the juicy red fruit. I was chased out of the paddock, crashing right into Al's armor.

My neck...!

And now, some senile old man just fired a round at Ed, who was standing right next to me. I at least had to sense to duck behind Al, while the crazy nutter who could still die stood out there with his hands up.

"Easy Doc! We aren't here to hurt you." Ed tried to reason, but with that shiny barrel pointing towards him I couldn't help it. I reached around and yanked his coat so he was behind Al as well. "Hey!" He grunted, but then the younger brother stepped forward.

"You said you're a State Alchemist," The old man growled, fear etching into his tone. "Does that mean you've come to silence me? Or perhaps you want to drag me back!"

See? Told you he was senile. We never said anything like that!

"C'mon mister," I began quietly, peeking out from behind Al's body. "We're really just here to talk."

"Those eyes..." He paused, before his gun was slowly lowered. My brow furrowed as I watched him stare at me. "I see, you must be his daughter."

"Yeah," I began as he looked up to Al.

"Traveling with an Alchemist as famous as him..." He seemed in a bit of a daze. "The Full Metal Alchemist..."

Al and I were pushed to the side as Ed popped out, jabbing a thumb to himself.

"No! That's me!"

I've never wanted to laugh at an old man's expression so badly after that.

* * *

"If you're here it must mean you're Isobel's daughter, correct?" Marcoh began.

I nodded, noting that Edward was still fuming slightly. Al tried to calm him but he just sighed before taking charge.

"So tell us, what do you know?" Ed began, making Marcoh bow his head.

"Lallier was always the one to do the traveling, but from what I saw..." He paused, closing his eyes as he tilted his head up. "It was a place of peace."

That was the first trip he and the two others took together. Where did they go to find this peace and prosperity? I could only wonder as the doctor came back down to Earth.

"I wouldn't say it's the epitome of peace, but we get by alright." I muttered, looking at the grooves of the wood table we sat at. The room was pretty barren, giving the three of us plenty of room to fit at the other end of the table from Marcoh. "I was told by Doctor Eastrin that my Father found a new way to get between the two worlds without the torments of the gate."

Marcoh's eyes widened then, before he closed them as though in pain.

"I see, so you came to learn how to create a stone," He muttered, sounding so upset. My brow furrowed as Ed and I glanced at each other. We turned back to Marcoh, looking confused. "A red stone that could ward off the gate and all of it's tolls. That could be the ultimate shield and sword at the same time. A thinker's stone, and so that was how it got its name."

It went quiet as Marcoh stared at us sharply.

"Do you really think you could handle the creation of such a stone?"

Ed grunted, slamming his hands on the table as he stood up. Frustration at the Doctor's attitude was getting to him, I was surprised he lasted this long really.

"I'm a ranking State Alchemist! I have the right to that information!" He half shouted. I looked to the Doctor, seeing he wasn't swayed. Why was he so against showing us how to create the stone? Unless he's already made some and thinks we'll steal it... but still!

"Doctor," I began, making the old man look at me. "I just want to get home."

It went quiet as he looked at me.

"These boys are trying to help me, and honestly I just want to see my family again."

He was wavering... he glanced away. Suddenly Ed took a running start towards the wall he looked to, making me raise my brows. Ed began banging on the walls, before clapping his hands and breaking the wall open.

"Brother! That's rude!" Al scolded, but I was in awe by the red shine from within the wall.

It couldn't be...

Ed took a bottle of the red liquid, holding it up to his face as he turned to us.

"Such a pure substance- Hey!" Edward shouted as Al picked him up and pulled the vile out of his hands. "Al!"

"This isn't ours to take Brother!" Al scolded, but he dropped the vile then, the whole thing shattered as the liquid... turned to... a solid...? I stared in shock as Al and Ed both looked it over. My eyes were glued to it too as I bent down to get a better look.

"Surprised, Full Metal?"

Our gazes snapped up to the door. In the threshold was a man I'd never seen before, but he looked damn scary in his military uniform.

"Brigadier General Grand." Al said, sounding surprised. The man stepped inside, looking around. Doctor Marcoh looked terrified as the General motioned for someone to grab him. Two men did instead, as the General walked up to us and plucked the stone from the ground.

"H-Hey!" I shouted, but backed up when he glared. He sure was scary... a cold chill spread across my skin when I looked into his eyes. This natural instinct told me to turn tail and run.

"I'm taking the stone and his research with me, so get out of here you brats." He said in a final tone. A chill ran down my spine again.

"That thing? The stone?" Ed asked, surprised. We never got to ask anymore though as more soldiers ushered us out of the house with the Doctor. While we were only pushed out the door, Marcoh was taken towards a vehicle, kicking and screaming.

One of the soldiers bumped into me, I excused myself as I side stepped, but then I noticed just how dirty the man looked. For someone who worked in the military, he had quite a few stains on his uniform. Come to think of it, all the soldiers looked a little worse for wear... except for the General. As he walked past us, he looked immaculate.

A strange object protruded from one of the soldier's pockets at the bottom of the steps. The car was getting ready to leave, so I walked down the steps after the man. Al called to me, but otherwise did nothing. The soldier was walking away, but I took a rush step and grabbed onto his coat. Pulling him back, the strange object fell out of his pocket.

A Swiss army knife.

My eyes widened in recognition.

Clapping my hands, I touched one of the tires on the car, welding it to the frame in an awkward transmutation. The car shut off then, the General stepping out.

"Erin! What are you doing?" Called Ed as he and Al came running down the steps. I glared at the General.

"I was thinking the exact same thing, you brat." He growled out, but then I smirked.

"I wonder what the State would think when they found the Brigadier General stooped to team up with bandits." I taunted, making the General pause for a moment as the brothers looked at him in surprise.

I poked Ed in the ribs, giving him a look. He stared back before he seemed to realize what I was saying.

Go get the Doctor.

The General peeled out a laugh. It was loud and obnoxious, suiting him perfectly. Still, it was alright so long as he didn't notice Ed sneaking behind Al to reach into the vehicle to pull Marcoh out.

"What an eye you've got girl," He began, but then he took a step towards me, and I felt completely overwhelmed at his size. "But the Doctor is coming with me."

He booked it around me and Al to grab Ed, tossing him aside as he reached for Marcoh, who sat helplessly on the ground. Al punched the General, distracting him long enough for me to grab the Doctor's hand and make him run.

"Just leave me behind! I can't do anything for you!" He insisted as I ran. Glancing back at him, he looked at my eyes and seemed to shut up.

"If you're good friends with my father, I can't leave you behind!" I shouted before running, and finally feeling the old man running along with me. Ed and Al weren't far behind, using alchemy to create barriers between us and the General.

* * *

(Erin)

"Okay... I think we... out ran... them..." I wheezed, doubled over as I tried to breathe deeply. Ed was breathing heavy, but only the Doctor and I looked exhausted. I'm seriously not cut out for this running business.

"Okay Doc, you better start explaining the stone." Ed began, but then I paled when I looked down the alleyway.

"Uh.. guys..." I said weakly as I pointed to the two figures at the end.

"Ed! It's that man!" Al began, reciting memories inside my head of my first week in Amestris. The man who tried to attack me, but escaped. He and another were standing at the end of the exit.

"You again!" Ed said, taking a step in front of us. "Who are you?"

"A very good question," This ridiculously proper and deep voice called out. "I am the voice of my master, the last you thing you will ever see or hear. I, am known as Silence."

"Silence?" I began, noticing the other person had bandages over his mouth. He was just as muscular as the other, but instead of clipped hair his was very long and free.

Both gave off the same energy as the General did earlier. I felt tense and ready to run.

"Callous," Silence began, glancing at his partner. "We are not to kill the Doctor, but the rest are free game."

My heart sunk, they were treating us like animals! We weren't animals though, we didn't belong in cages or trained to act in some nutter circus!

"Erin," Ed began, gaining my attention. "Take Doctor Marcoh and get out of here. Keep him safe."

He said this, as he stood right in front of me, his back to me. I nodded anyways, before yanking the Doctor to run again. It worked, Silence and Callous being distracted as we took off down another turn.

However, we didn't make it very far.

About five minutes into the run, another figure appeared in the streets. I slammed on the brakes, the Doctor doing the same. My eyes widened when I noticed the jagged scar and sunglasses. The trademark of that man from before.

Scar.

He noticed the doctor right away when we stopped. My eyes darted between the two men. Worry was evident on the old man's face, but so was defeat.

"The Crystal Alchemist, Tim Marcoh. It's my lucky day." He said, but then his eyes roamed over to me, my legs trembled under his scrutiny. "You."

"Doc you better run." I said through shaky breaths. They both could see I was terrified.

"No, just leave me here and-"

I rounded on him, glare full of desperation.

"If you have even an ounce of loyalty to my father left, you will run like the devil is on your damn heels!" I growled. His eyes widened, and slowly he backed away until he turned to run.

"You won't get away so easily." Scar said, lunging forwards, but I stood in his way. He stopped, glaring at me. It was quiet for a moment as we sized each other up.

"Sorry, but he's got to answer a few questions." I muttered, teeth chattering. This guy was way out of my league, but then again everybody seemed to be. Okay Erin, breathe in... breathe out... and repeat... What was the first step again?

"Why do you side with the hands of the Devil?" He asked, though I could tell he was trying to distract me. That was fine, I could do the same. He seemed to know punching me would be fruitless, and I already knew to avoid his right arm.

"The Devil?" I asked. "Why are you so against Alchemists?" I challenged back. He gave a low noise similar to a grunt before he looked to his arm.

"Alchemy is the science of the Devil. Taking something from it's natural state and warping it into something else. It is not how God intended it to be." He explained, making me frown.

"But you're using it! And for the record, how do you know this was not God's creation? How could you possibly know the word of God unless you speak to him yourself?" I snapped back. Always the religious causes, it was no wonder religion was getting a bad reputation everywhere. I felt bad, religion was something people used to share, now it was a shameful secret no matter where you went. There was something else bothering me though, if he was against alchemy then why was he using it?

"_Alchemy has three steps. Identify your materials, then break it down before rebuilding it into something else."_

Edward's words run in my ears.

"I see, so you stopped at step two, and ultimately loop-holed your way around it. But you're still using the basic steps."

It's been at least five minutes...

"I only do what this arm instructs of me, leave it to the profits to decipher the will of God." He shouted, before running at me. I dodged, but didn't let him get around me. He stopped, watching me. God this guy, he was the epitome of contradiction. He believed he knew the will of God yet insisted we couldn't possibly know the same.

"I can see you shaking, if you back down now you may live to see another day."

Yup, it's been long enough.

I smiled a little shakily then, letting out a breathy laugh as I took a few steps backwards.

"Actually, I had no intention of fighting you," I said as his eyes widened to the point that I could see them behind his sunglasses. "Just buying some time...!"

After that was said, I ran like I had told Marcoh to run. I ran like the Devil were at my heels.

Ten minutes later the adrenaline was slowing down, to the point that I was jogging to catch my breath. I was barely going anywhere now, I was tired of sprinting. Finally, I saw a familiar face.

"Hey, about time you showed up!" He said, that grin on his face. "Al and Marcoh are waiting, we need to meet up with them."

He began to run, I paled at the thought of running, but forced myself to keep going. As I watched him though, I noted there was something bothering me again. That cold chill running through my veins.

"Ed stop." I said, slowing to a halt. He stopped shortly after, looking back at me with confusion. There was one way to ease my stomach... I looked down, my face getting a little pink at the thought. "I need to know..."

"Know what?" He asked, walking closer to me.

"I need to know the answer to that question from before, you know when we were waiting for Marcoh to answer the door..." I muttered, stuttering a little as I turned even more red. What if this went horribly wrong?

"I kind of forgot, what was the question?" He asked, making me feel pale.

"Do you love me?" I asked, looking up at him. My eyes were pleading this would go right, if it didn't...

Ed looked at me with surprise, but then his cheeks turned pink.

"'Cause I told you I love you, and you didn't tell me." I added, sounding desperate. He looked away then, seeming put off. I was about to add something else when he finally said.

"Yeah, I guess I do."

Oh shit.

Oh shit oh shit oh shit!

I smiled, before nodding.

"I'm happy." I said, before Ed turned even more pink before turning around and walking, scratching the back of his head.

"Yeah. let's go meet up with the others." He said as I deftly clapped my hands.

"Mm hm." I agreed, grabbing a lid to a trash can. It transmuted into a large dagger, and I took a running start at 'Edward'. He spun around, but I launched the blade at him, stabbing him in an upper cut from under his ribcage. It was quiet for a moment before the once startled looking Ed chuckled.

"What... gave me away...?" He muttered, but I just shook a little, before letting go of the dagger and watching him fall down. I booked it down the street, looking for somebody to help me. Nobody was around though, it was too late at night. My breaths were becoming more ragged as I ran, looking behind me every five seconds.

I turned a corner, glancing behind me as seeing nothing- only to run into something pretty damn hard. My body flew back from the force, my head hurting as it swung a bit. When I looked up, my eyes widened as I saw the bloodied Edward. He smirked down at me, before sparks covered him and he began to change.

My heart stopped.

Those eyes.

Steel grey eyes that looked at me like I was so precious. He smile at me like he always used to. His chocolate locks swaying a little.

"You dropped this, sweetheart."

A pain erupted inside of me, I looked down at where he had stabbed me with the knife. Right on the side of my hip. The pain, it was so much pain. My chest ached as though it would explode as I tried to look away, look anywhere but my body. Perhaps it was the shock that took me down so quickly, but I hated myself for looking away from the knife.

Now I had to stare into those all too familiar eyes. Eyes I hadn't seen in so long that it _hurt_. I just about died right then and there out of anguish. Those hands did this to me, whether they were really his or not, it felt like _he_ had done this.

My own father.

Black dots clouded my vision, the last thing I remembered was a horrid laugh before I blacked out.

* * *

**COMMENTS SPECIAL!**

"Hi guys! This is Iland Girl! Thanks to you guys asking questions, I can now answer them!"

"You mean we'll answer them." Ed said flatly, crossing his arms. I looked over to him, my eyes a little big as I stared. Ed got a little flustered before glaring at me. "What?!"

My god he's so short compared to me... I imagined a height scale, showing his 4'11 frame versus my 5'9 frame. A giggle rose to my lips. Al laughed as well as he towered around seven feet.

"That's not very nice." Erin said, walking over to us. Scratching the back of my head I giggled.

"But he's so short." I said in a teasing tone. Edward burst out right after that, legs and arms flailing as Al held onto his hood.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A RUNT SO TINY HE COULD RIDE A GRASSHOPPER?!"

"You of course." I said matter-of-factually. Ed tore off his coat, but I put an arm out and he ran into my palm. He ran so hard he dug a hole in the ground on the spot. I snorted as I could barely see his face anymore. "You're not helping yourself."

Erin giggled, but then Al innocently looked around.

"Uh, Author? Where are we?" He asked, I looked around before smiling like a Cheshire cat.

"Why, this is what happens when we take away all the back drops! It's the studio still, just all the scenes and props are shoved into the closet." I pointed to a near bursting door. "See?"

Erin's eyes bulged as she watched it haphazardly, Al gave a sweat drop before going to the small stack of papers on a desk beside me.

"Um, aren't we supposed to answer these?" He asked, Erin noting the papers as well.

"Oh yeah," I began, as though remembering something important. A grin spread across my face as I stepped over to the desk. "Hi everybody! And welcome to the first Comments Special! Depending on the popularity I may or may not do more! Anyway, I would like to thank everybody who reviewed, and warn you that since they aren't playing their roles some characters might seem OOC. Though Ed still has yet to take off his platforms shoes..."

"I AM NOT SHORT!" Ed said as he leaped from the hole.

"'Course not, you're fun sized." Erin said, making Edward blink at her owlishly. I snapped to get the camera's attention, before grinning.

"Okay! Keep in mind I have never done this before and am totally winging this! I will answer questions and also respond to reviews this way! It may get a little interesting... But other than that, enjoy! Al read the first review!" I said, offering the first paper to the tall armor before adding. "Keep in mind these are copy and pasted!"

"Okay! '_Skittles-Obsessed-Wolf-Girl'_

_Its me again I love ur story update soomnn!. Wdwin it! Lovw a the shower scene one time I walkes in on a dude...exxept it was my brotherT.T I walked in then did a u turn amd walke a the doot . Most akward moment ever LoL anyway I gotza question. Ed do.u likw erin? Erin do u like ed? That should cause somthon funny to go down. Oi Al I alwayz wondered do u have a crush on anyone Envy r u secretly gay(Envy-Hey!) Ohwait sorry qu ea tions for ony the3 awsome musketeers anyway update soon by!_' Wow, I never would've thought that scene would've been so popular." Al said. I looked up to him, surprised.

"Neither did I..." I said, nibbling my index. Looking to the two actors of the scene, I grinned when I saw Ed huddled under a dark cloud and Erin blushing. "What's with you two?"

Erin pointed to Edward.

"You didn't have to see that." She stated, before turning purple and hanging her head. "Carbon, Lithium, Hydrogen..."

"What?!" Ed shouted looking back at Erin with an angry face. "You didn't have to bare anything to the world!"

I put on some fake glasses and pulled out my Iphone, opening the notes app. The trio gasped, all backing away.

"Not the notepad!" Erin squeaked, pointing a scared finger to it.

"That's where she keeps all her ideas!" Al shouted. I stopped writing for a moment before looking over at them blankly. Finally, I gave a really sweet smile.

Edward almost keeled over.

"Not the face!" Erin cried. I rolled my eyes.

"Anyway," I muttered, pocketing my phone. "Answer time! Ed and Erin, do you like each other?"

Ed shot up to stand while Erin circled her toe in the dirt.

"What?! Why would you ask something like that?! It's nothing like that at all! I mean sure we're great pals but I mean why would we even y'know try to think that way I mean if you think about it from a logistics point of few it's just way too-"

"Oh, I thought you liked me." Erin said, blinking with surprise as she cut Ed off. The boy halted in his rant to look at her, gaping.

"W-Why would you think that?!" He screeched. Erin scratched the side of her head, blushing.

"'Cause I like you..." She said, feeling sad. Ed looked surprised, before looking away in embarrassment.

"Oh, I..." His sweet tone ended abruptly when he saw Al taking pictures with my camera as I wrote down some more notes. "WOULD YOU GIVE US SOME SPACE?!"

"Jeez Ed, don't take it out on us. You're the one that just struck out." I said flatly, sticking my tongue out at him. "Anyway, I recall a certain question in there for you Al."

The armor tensed up, holding the camera delicately still.

"Uh um well you see..."

"So who do you have a crush on?" I asked with a grin. "I mean I know, but everybody else wants to know too."

Al was sweating buckets as Erin whispered a question in his ear. He straightened up, then looked down at her in shock.

"How did you know?!" He asked, making her laugh as Ed looked back and forth, clueless.

"I saw how you were watching her walk by. You sighed a little." She said, before Ed looked away, trying to think if he did that too. Wow he really was bad at this whole relationship thing. Couldn't blame him though.

"As for Envy, well, you can ask him questions, but he slammed the door in my face when I asked him to come. I can't make him come until he officially debuts." I said, sighing. "But he did remind me he's a shape shifter and has no gender, but would like to be called a he since 'he' said he's not gay and doesn't like men."

I scratched my head, thinking of just how wrong that sentence sounded. My hair got a little frazzled from all the scratching, but then I shook it out. Just as I was about to call Ed to grab the next review, I noticed he was listing things off on his hand. With a sigh, I looked to Erin, who raised a brow at me.

"It's okay, you can do better." I said to Erin, patting her head. She gave me a flat look, but otherwise said nothing.

His face was red from being so angry at me, but when he lunged I pushed him off to grab the next review. Looking over to the sad girl, I handed the paper off to her and grinned when she looked up to me.

With a smile, the girl carefully took the paper before reading it out loud.

"'_YouGoGlenCoco_

_Oh yeah , love this story man ._  
_Haha it happened to you too :)_  
_Long live Edin 3_  
_You should do a scean from Shrek , but of course make it your own , where an arrow gets in his butox , and Fiona is trying to get it out while donkey freaks out . Watch it its pretty funny_  
_It's just a suggestion... Idk I'm weird !_  
_Keep writing and I assure you that you'll go far ._  
_#Stay original gur_

_Peace out_ !' Wow, I haven't seen Shrek since I was little." Erin said, looking up at me. I scratched my cheek, thinking about it.

"I only got to watch that first movie once..." I thought out loud. My face turned red as I thought of the bathroom. "And yes, that's happened more than once while my house was under construction. My friends boyfriend was in there, explaining that one took a long time."

"Hmph, now you understand the feeling." Ed said somewhat smugly. I glared before smiling at the camera.

"As for the Shrek scene..." Cue evil grin at Edward and terrified response as he hid behind his little brother. "I already have something in mind."

"You really like to torment Edward, don't you?" Erin sighed, smiling a bit at me. I laughed, looking at her.

"Yeah, but just because I know he can take it." I then grabbed the next review, but then Ed snatched it out of my hands.

"My turn! '_Christmasloot_

_80 chapters...80 chapters... *cries tears of joy* XD YEESSSS! WOOO! I personally love this chapter! I didn't expect Dr. Marcoh to be involved at all_.' What?! You mean I have to survive 80 chapters of your ludicrousness?!" Ed said, looking at me with a terrified expression. I pulled out my phone, scrolling to the bottom of the notes before smirking.

"Well, more or less." I looked to the camera. "The current chapter count in somewhere between 83 and 96, depending if I add the last arc, though that is mostly... boring stuff. For me anyway, depends on how much my readers love me I may or may not put it in."

"What's so boring about it?" Erin asked like the cutey she is. I smiled down to her.

"It's mostly you and Ed sorting through horrible predicaments that are brought on around chapter 45 through 60. There's some major character development, but I'm not sure whether the rating would have to be changed..." I ended looking to the ceiling as I nibbled on my index. Erin paled, sweat rolling down her in buckets.

"Wh-Why would you need to change the rating?" She squeaked.

I smirked.

Erin almost fainted. Al came over to help her to her feet.

"What about me?" He asked cutely, I just smirked.

"I recall a certain someone catching your eye..."

"Al, I'm hiding away for now! See ya!" Erin shouting before ripping off his chest plate and jumping inside. Al wiggled around at the very thought.

"Ah! No don't do that! There are so many things wrong with this!" He turned to his brother, noting that Ed was just staring blankly at them before sighing and slapping his face.

"And those are my partners." He said, before looking to me.

"As for Marcoh, I plan to use a lot of Canon characters. There's also a ton of OC's, but mostly because of the new plot. Hopefully I don't lose track!" I said before picking up the next one and clearing my throat.

"Ehem...'_audrey_

_I love this so much you r so talented u go girl._' Thanks chick! At least I think you're a chick from your name. If not, you da... human! GO HUMAN BEINGS!"

"This isn't Community!" Erin shouted from the inside of Al. The brothers were trying to pry her out now. It worked to the point that Erin fell on Ed, and kneed his gut in the process. Little tears pricked the corner of his eyes before she leaped up gasped.

"Ah! I'm sorry! Are you okay?" She asked, eyes wide. Edward gave a gurgled whine. I made a motion to ignore him, flatly staring at Erin.

"Just let sleeping dogs lie. Al, your turn." I said, handing him the next review.

"'Chibi Miku-chan

Alphonse always come at the wrong time.' What did I do?" Al asked, looking at me.

"You ruined their mood." I said, pointing to the two other blondes. Both stared at me in shock, and shouted in unison.

"THERE WAS NO MOOD!"

I snickered.

"Sure there wasn't." I teased, before handing Erin the next review. She took it carefully before reading out loud.

"_'Angelic Toaster_

_This story is a hidden, pure gold nugget in a nasty old riverbed. I can not believe how amazing your writing is! More people should be reading this! Seriously! Maybe if you just tweaked the summary a little bit, or changed it to an exert from your prologue? I don't know... Oh, and BTW-you spelled 'prologue' wrong in your chapter titles. It's missing the strange and useless 'ue' at the end._

_ Really, this story is BEAUTIFUL. And my question is: what inspired you to create Erin? She's such a beautifully complex and yet simple and understandable character. Her strengths and weaknesses have a really great balance, and her thoughts are entirely believable. Is she anything like yourself? _

_ I can't wait to see the next chapter of this beauty!_'" Erin looked over to me, and I thought really, really hard.

"Is Erin... like me...?"

"Ah! Your nose is bleeding!" Erin shouting, making my eyes widen as I rubbed my face.

"Happens when I think hard." I said, Ed snorted.

"Must not happen a lot then."

Ed didn't even see what hit him as I slugged the old baseball bat over my shoulder. Winry stole all the wrenches, I had to make do with the next best thing.

"Brother!" Al cried, gasping when I white blob appeared over Ed's mutilated body. He reached out and grabbed it. "Don't leave me! I've got your soul!"

The white blob was forcefully shoved back in before Erin looked over to me, paling slightly.

"You're more like Winry." She whispered before slowly turning to crawl over to the boys. They huddle together, all terrified after Ed came back to life.

"Am I and Erin alike?" I thought out loud, ignoring them in the background. "Well, yes and no. I'll explain how I make a new character. If you don't want to know, skip to the next review!"

"So I start with the anime. Which one am I going to do? That changes the characters flexibility in terms of personality a lot. A character in FMA might not suit Vampire Diaries for multiple reasons. Let's take Erin as an example." I said, dragging her to stand in front of the screen. "The first thing I do is think of what I want the character for. Are they there as a love interest for another character or not? The main character is especially important, other characters naturally build after you've got your main down pat."

"So Erin is the love interest for Edward," Erin blushed as Ed looked away, scratching his cheek. "Since I know that, I next think, 'What would Edward like?'. So say I believe Edward would like someone cute, shorter then him, an accepting person that doesn't mind his past. Someone who's strong mentally but a little tender physically. I also think somebody without all the pain of his past, who is happy and patient when out of the loop. Someone who he knows he can trust with everything, who won't walk out because he's scared to say something."

Ed grumbled something, I grinned.

"So I've got that perfect character down pat, now that I do, it's time to balance it all out. In Chemistry, there has to be a balance. You can't have more product than reactant, or vice versa. The base elements must be of similar make up too. FMA helped me perfect this way of making a character because it is an anime about science! Anyway, you need a balance. Your character can't have a perfect past or a horrible one. That's not realistic."

"Okay, so instead of having my perfect character shorter than Ed, let's make her taller. Now let's make her emotionally weak and physically very durable. I usually balance them out by flipping characteristics around like this. Next I take two things I like about myself, and one thing I dislike. For example; I am very strong physically for a girl and have a very high pain tolerance, and I tend to analyze something until it's suddenly not scary or bothersome in any way, much like Erin has been doing. However, I tend to be scared very easily, and often shake when asked to do even a simple task that I've never done before."

"So I use parts of myself in my character so that I personally connect with her, and thus can properly explain her to the audience. As for her thoughts, I'm always thinking about something, and usually space out in a conversation because I'm thinking of a different topic." I said, sighing at the long explanation. "So Erin and I have the same colored hair - a shade lighter than Ed's, same length as Ed's (Though I horribly am in need of bangs...)- but we have different eyes. I don't have any really visible scars, but most are on my shoulder and knee from a bad fall. Personality wise I'd say Erin's a bit nicer than I am, but I tend to be a little bit less honest too. I'm not as forward about my emotions, but I do think the along the same thoughts as she does about such topics."

"Thanks for the review! It had me really thinking of the best way to explain how I think up characters. It doesn't take long, maybe an hour to get the basics before giving them their flesh. I actually didn't know what Erin looked like until I wrote it. I see through the characters eyes a lot. Also I will fix my errors! Thanks for letting me know! I was going to use a certain piece for the summary, but it's from a chapter close to the end so I guess I'll just make a better one up!"

"That was a long explanation." Ed said, sounding tired. I glared at him, making him huddle with Al again as Erin joined them.

"Ed, I'm scared." Erin admitted. I jabbed a thumb over at her, smirking at the camera.

"See? Much more honest than I am." I stretched before smiling. "But we're almost done!"

"Yes!" The trio shouted before glaring at me.

"Look at what we've become." Ed said as Erin and Al exchanged looks. I shrugged before smiling and standing next to a rope. Ed gave it a look. "Hey what are you gunna-"

"I pulled the rope, making them fall into a pit of sharks."

...

"You realize you just said that." Al said, sweating like crazy. I blinked before looking at them all.

"Oh, you're right, it's hard to keep track of whether I'm writing or talking." I said honestly. Erin's eyes bulged.

"What do you mean 'writing'?!" She squeaked, but then I grinned and pulled the rope. They all shouted out as a huge stream of jello hit their faces. I shrugged before looking at the camera.

"I had a lot of desert. Anyway, now that I've had my fun, I must say thank you to all the reviews. This was a lot of fun to write! And it's kinda sad to admit it's almost the length of the original chapter." I added with a sweat drop. "Thanks a lot to my readers! It's great to know you like this! Hopefully Erin gets herself out of whatever predicament she's in!"

"Until next time!" The trio chorused, slurping up the jello.

"Bye bye!" I waved.

* * *

**Author's Note!**

**Ha, that was fun! Okay so hopefully you guys enjoyed that, I sure did! Review please! Feel free to ask more questions! And request scenes! I will gladly reply!  
**

**I would also like to note that this is past the 60,000 word mark! Almost 66,000 after this big boy! Anyway, I will probably update once a week from now on, hopefully Saturday nights! I've got work and competition and a lot of things going down hill. Plus I still have Grad and such... I didn't post anything sooner because I was literally up until 3am every night finishing chem work because my teacher gave us a shit load out of nowhere and said we had three days to finish or it was a zero. **

**Ugh!**

**Anyway, that and I've been sick. Me and my horse are having a rough patch too :( So I've been a little extra moody because of that. We horse people are like that alright? Imagine the computer fritzing right when you need it! There, now you understand. **

**Anyway, thanks again for reading! Hopefully I'll get the next chapter out Saturday! If not then next Saturday!**

**Cheers!**

_Iland Girl_


	18. Tearing at the Seams

**THE OUTSIDER**

* * *

_by_ Iland Girl

"_For those without 'purpose'."_

A Fullmetal Alchemist Fanfiction

_I don't own anybody but my OC's!  
_

* * *

**_Chapter 17  
_**

_"Tearing At The Seams"_

* * *

_"Evil draws its power from indecision and concern for what other people think."  
― Pope Benedict XVI_

* * *

(Edward)

"Dammit!"

He'd done it again!

Edward lost track of Erin, and the Doctor now too. They could be anywhere, but hopefully somewhere safe. A small amount of relief rushed through his system as he and Al rounded the corner to see the Doctor running towards them.

No Erin in sight.

His gut fell when this dawned on him, they all stopped to look at each other then. A wide eyed panic took hold of Ed then. Where was Erin?

"Doctor Marcoh. Where's Erin? Al asked, Ed still trying to calm down. Marcoh looked so worried though, it didn't help him one bit.

"We ran into someone else," He began, looking down. "She told me to run."

"And you just left her there?" Ed asked, incredulous. His hands balled into fists as his face contorted. What sick man left a girl to fight all on her own? "Show me where she went to."

Marcoh looked up at him with slight surprise before nodding. When he turned around though, he stopped. They all stopped, because the very man who attacked Erin was standing in the alley way then.

"Scar." Al said, sounding scared. Scared for themselves, and for the fact that if he was here... Ed gritted his teeth, but then took a step towards the man.

"What happened to her? Where is she?" He shouted, nervous when the man simply pushed his glasses further up his nose. It was as though he was disregarding the girl completely.

"She made a wise choice and ran once the Crystal Alchemist was safe," He began, Ed feeling a little more relaxed. That meant Erin was probably hiding somewhere nearby, waiting for them. He'd find her, but right now- His thoughts were cut short as Scar lunged at him. "But you won't get that chance!"

The wall of the alleyway between the two parties broke down as a massive force blew it away. Everyone backed up, shielding their eyes. When Ed looked up, he didn't know whether to be angry that Armstrong was there or happy that he could move on now.

"Major!" Al chirped, choosing to be cheerful about it. The muscular man ripped off his shirt, showing his muscles to Scar.

"Elrics! Take the Doctor and run! The Colonel has made a safe guard for you in the next town." The Major said, before lunging at Scar.

"You heard the man Al! Doc, let's get going!" Ed said, turning to run. Al and Marcoh followed shortly behind him. They had to find Erin first, that much was certain. Yet the Doctor would surely be killed by all those guys if Ed and Al weren't careful. This was such a delicate situation. Ed felt lost as he slowed to a stop in another street.

"Brother?" Al asked, sounding worried. He'd never seen his brother look so conflicted. The blonde didn't move as he realized getting Marcoh to safety should be his highest priority. But still...

"Don't worry about me Ed," Marcoh said, making the blonde spin around to look at him. He was surprised to see the man smiling a little. "That girl is so much like her Father. You don't have to worry about me, save the girl."

There was a silence as the boys looked to each other, before looking to the Doctor.

"When you say she's like her Father..." Al began, Marcoh getting the feeling they wanted an explanation.

"Anatol was a passionate man. He never let anything go to waste, and had a fire I'd never seen anywhere but those eyes," He took a seat on some rubble, hanging his head in thought. "She has the same eyes. So fierce and determined to prove herself."

Ed snorted at that, looking to the ground.

"Are you kidding? She doesn't even realize she's got such a face." He said softly, thinking back to that day at Resembool, when she cleaned his wound. Her eyes were so fierce, it was like she was trying to will him stronger just by looking at her.

"Lallier found a way past the gate," Marcoh finally admitted. "By using the red stone."

"So he really did use it." Al said. They had heard from Erin that Eastrin had explained the red stone to her, but it still seemed a little far fetched. But now that they had heard it with their own ears...

"The thing is, equivalent exchange cannot be bypassed," Marcoh explained, standing up again as he reached into his pocket. "It can only be passed on to another form."

"What do you mean?" Al asked, Ed trying to grasp at what he was saying.

"When Lallier came back, he changed. He was depressed and yet alive at the same time. His personality was different when he started to go through the gate. It was because of the stone. With great gifts comes great sacrifices. It was because of his connections with the gate that Lallier took it upon himself to take all information about the gate. What he did with it I will never know. The stone was left in my hands, I being the guardian."

"If you wouldn't mind, we'd like to read that information." Al began, noting how tense Ed was.

The Doctor went to open his mouth, but then his eyes shifted to two figures slowly walking towards them. His orbs turned to dinner plates as he saw who it was. Ed and Al turned too, shocked.

Callous and Silence made their way down the street casually, acting as though nothing major was going on. Silence held a sword in his hand, Callous' clawed left hand twitching a bit.

"You again?" Ed growled, they had managed to fend themselves the last time, but only because the two had disappeared shortly after Erin and the Doctor did.

"Change of plans." Silence said, before Ed clapped his hands and changed his automail into a blade. Callous pointed towards the group, but said nothing. It seemed to dawn on Silence what the problem was.

"Ah, she's not here," He said, but then looked past the trio. "Alright then, let's head back."

Ed felt a stinging in the back of his head, as though somebody were behind him. It was then that he turned to face his opponent. Raising his blade, he was met with a fist. The attacker smirked at him, before Marcoh cried out in surprise.

"It can't be...!" He whispered, terrified. The new man looked at him, a wicked smirk in his eyes as he grinned.

"Oh but it is old man."

Silence rushed forward then, and with near inhuman speed, he sliced the blade across Marcoh's neck. Ed's eyes widened as he watched the blood splatter everywhere. Al gasped, but before he could do anything Callous picked him up and threw him into the side of the building as the new comer punched Ed in the gut.

He laughed at the boys, before kicking him into a wall.

"Now, where is the girl?" The newcomer asked.

"I do not know, we will have to find her." Silence said, noting the angry look on the other man's face. "Patience is a virtue. You would do well to remember it."

"I'm plenty patient, but right now I need to peel that little girl's flesh." He said wickedly as the trio took off so fast Ed and Al could barely scramble to their feet before they had disappeared.

"Get back here!" Ed shouted, running around the corner, only to see nothing there. "Dammit!"

"Easy Brother," Al said, placing a hand on Ed's shoulder. "We'll find Erin."

"They're after her, Al we've got to-"

He stopped as he looked to Marcoh's body in on the corner. His eyes narrowed, guilt riding through him. They should've kept moving. Yet they didn't, and now this...

He walked over to Marcoh's corpse, and used his hand to close the old man's eyes.

"Sorry," Was all he could offer. He looked down to see a small ball of paper in his hand. He picked it up and pocketed it before standing.

"I thought I gave orders to Armstrong to send you back to East City." Roy scolded as he and Riza stood at the end of the street. Ed's head snapped up to see them, a glare set on his features. Then the Colonel noticed the body, and his face hardened some more.

"We ran into heavy interference," Ed snapped. "By the way, have you seen Erin?"

Roy shrugged.

"I haven't seen the girl since you three left together."

Ed grimaced at that, Roy taking note before turning to Hawkeye.

"Take crowd control Lieutenant. I don't want anybody too close to them." He muttered. Riza gave a formal agreement before doing as commanded. Roy walked over to the boys, who were already trying to think of another place for Erin to run to.

"She would've gone somewhere we've already been, somewhere she knows is safe and we can find her." Ed said, Al nodding before thinking out loud.

"Maybe she ran to East City Command Center. It's only an hour from here now." Al offered, considering they had been making their way closer to East City ever sine their search for Marcoh began. The man was barely outside of the man city and nobody had found him.

"That's a strong possibility," Ed said, turning to Roy. "Is there any way you can phone there and make sure she's safe?"

Roy was about to open his mouth, but then a car pulled up and a soldier stepped out from the back. Riza blocked him off, but then he spoke.

"I have an urgent message for The Full Metal Alchemist," He said, Roy motioned to let him through. The man walked up to them, before saluting. "I was told by Lieutenant-Colonel Hughes to let you know Erin Lallier is safe and sound in East City Command Center. She will be kept under watch and protected until you both arrive to get her."

"Hmph, looks like the girl has some survival instincts after all." Roy said with a smirk.

"That's good, if she's safe then we can keep on our research until then." Ed said, making Al look at him.

"Are we still going to Central?" He asked, the blonde nodded.

"I see, well then I suppose I'll just have to keep Erin under guard until your return. Keep in mind she doesn't trust anyone but the two of you. Being gone too long will give her the wrong impression." Roy said. Ed nodded.

"I don't want to leave her here, but it's safer in the HQ for now. We'll come back after we're done in Central. Al, let's go."

"Right."

* * *

(Edward)

He was starting to get bored watching the trees go by.

Each time he tried to think of something to talk about, he'd see Erin's back as she ran. Something didn't sit right in his stomach, and he figured he was just worried about leaving her alone. The girl was an accident waiting to happen, she was so prone to overdoing it.

"Brother?" Al asked, gaining Ed's attention. "If Erin is from the other side, where she claims alchemy doesn't exist to this extent, then how could she get across the gate?"

Ed looked back out the window, resting his chin on his fist.

"It probably has something to do with her Dad being from this side, or something like that." He said. It went quiet again, Al's mind whirring with questions.

"How do you think we'll send her home? Use the rest of the Philosopher's Stone?" Al asked, but Ed felt something sink inside of him at the thought.

"Probably." Ed muttered.

"I'll really miss her," Al admitted, gauging his brother's reaction. He noticed Ed's shoulders tense. "And you'll miss her too."

"Yeah, so what? It's not like she's dying or something." He argued, but he knew she might as well be dead. He would be happy she was alive and well, but he'd never see her again, never feel her touch or the warmth of the stupid smile...

"Maybe we could ask her to stay." Al offered in a hopeful voice. The thought had crossed Ed's mind, but he'd beat it down right away.

"Al," He began quietly. "That's not an option."

"Why not?" Al asked, upset.

"She told us she has a family. A brother, could you imagine us being separated? She probably feels the same way. She has a place she calls home, and she deserves to get it back." He almost whispered harshly at the end, his eyes narrowing.

"Besides, do you really think we could protect her?" He asked, memories flashing before his eyes. "After all, we couldn't even protect a little girl."

Al looked out the window then in thought. His brother had given this a lot of time to manifest, and although he hated to admit it, his brother was right.

Erin didn't belong in this world.

* * *

(Erin)

It had to be a dream I was in.

I haven't been back to this field since Mom passed away.

My eyes took in my surroundings, a smile graced my lips. Warmth crept into me as I watched the birds flutter, grass blowing in the wind. I hadn't felt so at peace in a while, this was a nice change.

Lying down in the grass, I found contentment in watching the clouds go by. My eyes slowly closed as I bathed in the warmth of the sun. It felt so right to just sit here.

"Hey thief! It's time for food!"

That voice.

"Yeah yeah shrimp, I'm coming." I muttered, rubbing my eyes. A smile broke out across my face as I saw my brother standing there. He looked smaller, maybe the same as when we last came to the field. Fourteen was when he last had such a stupid haircut. When I stood up, Brayden made to walk away, but then a cold feeling crept into my chest.

_Push it out._ A voice said, so I did the only thing that I knew would help. Reaching out, I grabbed my brother's shoulder and spun him to face me.

"Hey!" He shouted, but then I wrapped my arms around him, hugging his head to my shoulder.

"I missed you." I whispered, feeling warm the moment we hugged. He snorted, but ultimately hugged me back.

"What are you talking about? I was never gone." He insisted, though his voice had gotten softer. I chuckled, holding him tighter.

Never.

I never wanted to let go.

"Brother," I whispered, holding him tighter. "My brother."

"C'mon thief, you're worrying me now." He laughed a little as we parted. Still, I held onto his hand. I couldn't let him go, not again. We walked a little ways, finding a picnic table covered with your typical food. We stopped there, my eyes widening when I saw who else was joining us. Tears broke from my eyes as I watched them come closer.

"Mom... Dad..."

I dragged Bray over to them, and tackled the both of them to the ground. Auntie and Uncle joined us too, making me cry harder.

We were all here, all together again.

Dad chuckled, brushing my tears away as Mom twirled a strand of my wavy locks.

"Sweetie, what on Earth is the matter?" Mom asked, looking a little bit concerned.

"I missed you guys... So much!" I sobbed into Dad's shirt. He didn't push me away though, instead he chuckled again before soft lips pressed against my forehead.

"Darling, we were never gone." He said.

A bell rung inside of me at that, something I had forgotten becoming known.

Nothing is ever lost, it's value is simply shifted over. You may lost an arm or a leg, but that part is brought full circle to the earth, plants, animals, and eventually back to us. The state of equivalency is a short cut, a trade to make things easier, but we never truly lose anything.

Pain, fear, loss... they are all human creations, which means that they are just as imperfect as us. Truth be told, they don't make a difference to the universe at all. The flow will never stop, so long as one stands up and keeps going forward.

Yet right now, I felt content in my Father's arms.

"C'mon guys, let's eat." Uncle insisted, everyone agreed. Even I did.

We all sat down, eating our meal, but I was just content holding onto Bray's hand. I looked around, watching everybody laugh and smile. A warmth spread through my body, but there was something off.

Something was missing.

What more could I possibly want?

"Ah! Ed, Al! C'mon guys! Come and dig in!" Auntie shouted, making my eyes widen. Looking over my shoulder, I was surprised to see the brothers walking over to us. Ed was grinning like crazy, Al waving his huge arm back and forth.

"Great! I'm starving." Ed said as he took a seat next to me. Al sat beside him, and suddenly everything was going full motion again. I actually joined in this time, laughing and getting embarrassed as my family told the boys old stories about my misadventures of puberty. Ed laughed at me really hard, Al giggling too.

A heat that wasn't there before obliterated the warmth. I felt like I was on fire, and I liked it.

But... what did that mean?

Before I knew it, our meal was finished. Auntie and Uncle went to leave first, but then Ed and Al stood up.

"It was nice meeting Erin's friends. I hope you two have a safe journey home."

I stiffened.

The way Mother spoke, it was as though they were leaving forever. My eyes switched from Auntie and Uncle to the brothers. My eyes wide as I saw them both waving. Ed and Al looked to me, my gaze lost in those beautiful orbs.

"Well I guess this is it." Ed smiled warmly at me, like he did when he asked for my trust. He turned suddenly, Al doing the same as they both left. A pain wretched in my chest at the thought of them leaving.

"Wait!" I shouted, running to reach for him. My arm and whole body was wretched back, I was still holding Bray's hand. Looking from my sullen brother to the brothers, my heart sunk when I saw it. The Gate appeared out of nowhere, opening up as they walked in casually. Panic filled me when I saw they had nothing to offer. "No don't go in there!"

The gate slammed shut, and no matter how much I pulled, Bray wouldn't let me go.

"No! Alphonse! Edward!" My heart beat so fast it felt like it was burning. I closed my eyes as I cried.

"Erin," Bray whispered. I looked back at him, seeing how desperate his expression had become. "You aren't... leaving again... are you?"

My chest was ripping apart then, the look on his face, it tore me down. I looked around, seeing two graves where Mom and Dad stood. Auntie was grieving over a grave of Uncle's too. I realized then, that I was the only one left for Bray.

I was the only one who couldn't leave him alone.

"No," I whispered, crying as a certain blonde in a red coat kept popping into my mind. Instead I hugged him, crying as I did so. "I'll never leave you again, brother."

"Oh but yo**u see Erin**," Bray began, his voice morphing into that of many. My eyes snapped open as I backed away from him. He still held my hand though, and forced me to stay closer. I watched as he turned from my sweet brother, into the white being I knew too painfully well. "**It will cost you dearly.**"

"No..." I whispered, backing up until I hit something. Looking up, I saw that it was the gate. The carving of the hand, the word _Iacet_ carved into the back of the palm, holding onto a path that was broken and damaged in places. Ultimately it lead to the top where _Verum_ was embossed. The Gate that I was very familiar with, the very one I had been dreading for so long. I pushed against the word _Verum_, and stood up before turning to back away from the gate.

"This can't be happening." I said in a desperate tone. There was a loud cackle, I spun to look at Truth.

**"Haven't I told you? This is the truth little girl. I cannot lie for it is not who I am!"**

"Why do you keep bothering me? Just leave me alone!" I shouted, but then Truth pointed right at me and grinned.

**"Because you have yet to pay for your sins."**Truth said, grinning. **"Because no matter what, you will never be happy unless you pay the toll." **

"What could I possibly give? There isn't any other options!" I said, my hands turning into fists. There was only one option, use the stone to get back home, and then never think of this world again. I had no other option.

But I...

Gold eyes flashed across my mind.

I closed my eyes, but it didn't help much.

Truth laughed again, before it smacked it's face as though I were hilarious.

**"You silly girl! There is always another option!"**

Another... option?

A scream broke through my throat as the gate opened up. Those eyes, and hands, both went for me. I screamed bloody murder, but no matter what I grabbed at to fight back, those hands just pulled me right in. My eyes closed as my body faltered from fatigue. My mind zoned in on one thing then.

What other option... could there possibly be?

Still the image of the grassy field and sweet smiles flitted across my mind.

But it felt more like a tease than a gift right now.

* * *

**Author's Note!**

**70,000 words man!**

**Haven't gotten this far with a story for a while!**

**Wow, so I figured I would just spend my short time of freedom hoarded up in my room... and ended up with this chapter. Screw updating on Saturday! I guess I'll just update whenever? Eheheh... ^^' I was shocked when I read the word count! I originally didn't have this dream sequence, but then I thought of a scene later and well... I need to scare the shit out of Erin with this whole Gate thing.  
**

**So Erin is totally conflicted on what to do! Imagine that! Whadya mean she doesn't want to live in Amestris? Well truth be told, I would probably love Amestris, I'm very old school, but the Alchemy part would scare me badly. And all the danger, I'd rather be home! I also think Erin would rather be on her side too, where she's sheltered from wars and real danger. **

**I'm trying to bulk Erin's personality up... slowly. But I need chapters like these where she's so weak because then everything gets better! I was originally going to write what happens to Erin in this chapter... then I saw the word count at almost 4,500 and thought 'nah!'. **

**Thanks for the feedback on the special! I was totally happy to hear people liked it! Although I was watching the view count... seriously? I have 300 readers and only three reviews? Dude you guys are just hating on me! Thanks to those who did review! I will be answering questions around chapter 20. Feel free to ask anything at all! Silly or serious! You can even ask me things so long as it's not too personal and I will answer them! **

**Also, a reviewer expressed concern/excitement for the rating change I mentioned in the comments special. I would like to note that A) This story spans around 2-3 years. So Erin will be 20 and Ed will be 19 before any funkiness arouses. Not to say little things can't happen... but that's not for a long time anyway! B) If I did do it, it would be a chapter you could skim over if you didn't want to read it. C) I haven't ever written something like that and would hate to ruin my story by doing that so it may not happen. Perhaps as a side story?  
**

**Hmm let's see... oh! If anybody would do the honors of making fanart I would love it! My friend said she would, but then admitted to sucking at drawing anime. **

**Again, I so love this scene request idea, and if you have any input at all feel free to write a review or PM me! **

**Jeez if I keep writing outside my notes we may hit 100 chapters... sigh, oh well.  
**

**So what's your fav chapter/scene? Also, anybody have songs that fit Erin or Ed/Erin? Personally I think Erin's growth theme would be Let it Burn by Red. What do you guys think?  
**

**Hmm, I think that's everything... Anyway, if I see that freakin' view count way outrank my reviews... well, Hell hath no furry like a woman Scorned!**

**Ah... or does it? **

**Cheers!**

_Iland Girl_


	19. In The Dark They Thrive

**THE OUTSIDER**

* * *

_by_ Iland Girl

"_For those without 'purpose'."_

A Fullmetal Alchemist Fanfiction

_I don't own anybody but my OC's!  
_

* * *

**_Chapter 18  
_**

_"In The Dark They Thrive"_

* * *

_"Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you." _  
_ ― Friedrich Nietzsche_

* * *

(Erin)

The sounds of the wind flowing over a country plain was echoing in my ears as I awoke.

The soothing sound no longer there to comfort me, but rather to hurt. It served as a bold reminder of the place I longed to be at. The laughter I yearned to hear. There would be no hands for me to hold while I was where I was.

Which was... where exactly?

I grunted when I felt the dull throb in both my head and gut. It felt like I was wounded, but what had happened? Why was I...

_"You dropped this, sweetheart."_

I snapped upright, crying out a little when I felt the scab on my stomach rip. Clutching it, I watched as blood seeped through my fingers. Panic etched at me when I realized I was in a dark and unfamiliar place. Three walls were stone, but one was made of metal.

I was in a cell.

From outside my cell I could see dim lights that barely lit the room. It was still enough for me to understand my surroundings, and the fact that I was not alone.

Rows upon rows of cages were lined up, some tall while others were stacked together due to how short they were. There was an endless amount of eyes glowing in the dark though. Some reflected the dim light like a cat's eye would, but others seemed to literally glow. I shrank in size when a few turned to me, but then I recalled why I got here in the first place.

Ed and Al...

I jumped to my feet, wincing and falling against the wall with ragged breaths. Dammit, at this rate I wouldn't move in a few hours due to blood loss. I shrugged off my coat, then the big dress shirt I had yet to trade in from when I was last kidnapped. I tore the fabric apart, before wrapping it around my torso and tying it tightly over the puncture wound that... _thing_... gave me. Once I was certain it wouldn't move, I pulled the coat back on, shivering.

That wasn't a good sign. It meant I had already lost a lot of blood. I coughed a little, zipping up the jacket as best as I could. I needed food, and water, or I might go into shock. Taking a deep breath, I tried to stay calm.

Mind over matter Erin, pain and panic are human emotions that we use to cope with situations like this, but it does little for aid.

I went to clap my hands, but then I paused and looked at the eyes. Eyes that had no doubt been here for a long time, wherever here was.

"Can anybody tell me where I am?" I asked, wincing when I spoke too loudly. It was quiet for a moment, before somebody spoke.

"Lab five."

I looked down the rows of cages, until I noted the four pairs of eyes staring at me. The voice had come from there. Leaning against the bars, I tried to get a better look at them.

"What's going on? Why are we here?" I asked, hearing a few hisses and whines from other directions. A deep chuckle resonated from the large cage, before hands grabbed hold of the bars there as well.

"What does your gut tell you?"

My gut told me I was going to die before I even figured it out. I gave a grunt as I hit a fist against the metal.

"That's not good enough," I said, glaring at the ground. Then I added quietly. "I have to get out."

It went quiet for a moment, before a few chuckles left their lips. They were mocking me, I turned my hands into fists.

"There is no way out," Another voice said, mocking me. "That isn't the option."

I closed my eyes, grimacing.

"There is always another option!" I said, clapping my hands and touching the bars. They turned into a long spear, which I tossed into my cage as I climbed out of the hole. "I can't stop moving now."

A few animals howled when they saw the sparks, getting excited from my escape. I winced when I felt something tear again. Crap, this was not going good. My legs led me towards a door, but I hand to stop when a pain ripped through my gut. I doubled over, but made no noise.

"Stupid child," I looked to the voice just inside a cage. It was the same deep voice that spoke first. "You can't get out."

I closed my eyes, shaking my head.

"If I heard that a few weeks ago, I might've quit," I said, but then I looked at my right hand. The same hand that held Ed's just days ago. I clenched it into a fist. "But I've got somebody waiting for me, Lord knows he'd be lost without me...!"

Despite my saying this, I knew it was actually the other way around. Still, I stood up straight then, and made for the door. It was locked, and heavy looking, but I used alchemy to get through no problem. It was what was on the other side that was the issue.

While I was walking, I turned corner after corner. Sometimes leaning on the wall because I felt so dizzy, but I never stopped moving forward. At one point I heard my stomach growl, but I was forced to ignore it. It was only when my footsteps sounded like echoes that I became alert again.

I stopped walking, hearing the sound of footsteps stopping after. Should I turn around, or just run? They hadn't moved since I stopped, so I gulped down my fear and snuck a peak behind me.

"Erin..."

Such a warm smile, my heart sunk when I saw those beautiful gold orbs. He walked right up to me, speaking to me. I seemed to be caught in a trance, because I couldn't move my body.

"You really shouldn't wander off on your own so much, I'm starting to really worry about you." He said, almost laughing. I growled and clapped my hands before touching the wall and pulling out a knife. It was very brash, but it would do the trick as I swung at him. He flipped away before chuckling. A wave of sparks flew over him as he transformed into a strange looking creature.

"I'll give you points kid, you're getting good at this." It teased, an androgynous voice and form greeting me. My eyes narrowed as I glared. It'd done the same thing before with my Father's form.

"That's debatable," I said tensely. "Am I going to have to keep guessing or is this your real form?"

It chuckled.

"My real form? Hmph, I forgot what that is. But that doesn't matter," It rushed me then, taking me by surprise as it slammed me into the wall with a kick. I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth in pain. "What really matters is that you stay put for now on, got it Scarface?"

"_Scarface! Scarface!_"

"Shut up," I muttered, my legs feeling weak as I slid to the floor. Memories playing forth at the name. "I'm not a toy you can play with...!"

"Oh?" It laughed, before walking closer. It stopped in front of me, and grabbed my jacket collar. I was raised into the air then, my feet dangling limply as it held me above the ground. I panicked then, this thing was really strong. A fist was raised then, it grinned wickedly at me. "Then what will happen when I do this?"

I closed my eyes.

"Envy."

Startled, I opened my eyes to see that thing had stopped it's fist just a centimeter from my face. It was looking down the hall, towards another person. This one at least looked to have a gender, she was actually really beautiful too.

"We were told not to harm her unless necessary." She said in a warning tone. 'Envy' chuckled, but then dropped me. I fell to the floor, coughing and shivering. My eyes darted between the two figures, then the third as it approached. A large creature that looked more like a ball than a human.

"What can I say Lust? I figured she needed to learn some manners." Envy said, and when I looked up to it I saw a big grin.

"Can I eat her, Lust?"

My eyes snapped to the third creature, he stuck one of his fingers into his mouth, looking up to Lust.

...W-What?!

Eat me?!

"No, she needs to go back to her cell," Lust stated, looking down at me coldly. "And remain there."

I tried to move, but the world spun. Envy kicked me then when I almost fell on its leg. Instead I hit the wall, seeing stars. There was no way in Hell I could stay here, one wanted to eat me and the other two didn't look friendly either. The only way I could possibly survive was...

Then it hit me.

"Get up Scarface." Envy said, hands on its hips. I smirked up to it, blood pooling in my mouth, before I spat. A few drops fell on its face then, it growled in agitation.

"Go to Hell."

**_BOOM_**

The ground shook then, sending us all a little bit off balance. What was that? An explosion? Whatever it was, it gave me a huge advantage.

I clapped my hands before touching the ground. Envy went to kick me but I leaned to the side, narrowly escaping the kick as the ground beneath us caved. I grabbed onto the wall, but the two other groups had nothing to hold on to, so they fell down another level.

With the will of the ox that I was told I possessed, I hauled myself back up, heaving a bit. I couldn't stop though, they would be hot on my trail if I waited here. My legs pushed off, I began to run. Something pierced my left shoulder though, and I let out a cry.

"You stupid girl," Lust's voice called out. My eyes widened as Envy leaped from the hole, glaring at me. No human could jump like that...! "You should've just stayed still."

The pointed object retreated as Envy grabbed my throat, but then I clapped my hands and touched him. His skin peeled back as I reformed the particles, like Scar did, and out of alarm he let me go. I wasted no time in running like Hell.

Adrenaline pumped through my veins, and event he pain in my shoulder couldn't stop me.

_I'm going to die._

The thought just kept circling in my head. I should've just stayed in the damn cage...

"_I owe you a lot. Both of you, and thank you, thank you so much, for worrying about me_."

That's right. I still had to repay Ed and Al for everything they did. Dying here... it just wasn't an option! I had to keep going, keep moving forward. Or else that blonde idiot, that suit of armor... they'd both be out of my reach.

I was panting heavily now, my chest aching as much as my gut, but I couldn't stop. Instead I pushed to go faster, and didn't stop moving for a long time. It was only when I started to see doors that I knew I had gotten quite a ways. Doors were places to hide, but no doubt they were somehow tracking me. If I kept moving I would be harder to catch... unless I was mimicking a pattern.

"Ugh!" I growled, diving into a door then. If I didn't stop now, my lung would burst! I slammed the door shut and leaned heavily on it. It took about ten minutes before I regained my breath, but then I realized there was a strange glow on my skin. Looking up, I saw the origin of the glow.

A red container, or so it looked, and then I realized where I'd seen the glow from before. This was the red water from Doctor Marcoh.

"So you finally gave up running, huh?"

My head snapped to the door, my eyes wide as I saw Envy lounging there casually. It smirked, before walking closer. I backed away, but he cornered me with ease.

"Stay away!" I squeaked, wincing as my shoulder stung. It laughed at me when I tried to push it's chest, but then it grabbed my wrist and smirked.

"I wasn't kidding when I said you needed to learn some manners." It said, squeezing my forearm. My eyes widened as my left arm began to burn.

"N-No! Please I won't run! Please don't-"

_**SNAP**_

I watched, for half a second, as my arm bent at an awkward angle. Multiple thoughts flashed by me as I stared, completely out of it, at my arm.

Then the pain came.

I gritted my teeth, but I couldn't stop a cry from breaking forth. Swinging my body around, I tried to pretend I couldn't feel the pain, but it was no use. Envy held my arm in its hand still, laughing at me, watching with cruel intent as I tried not to feel the pain.

My eyes zeroed in on it, and I tried for the life of me to stop crying.

Instead I wretched myself free of Envy, and backed towards the wall. It was only when I noticed Envy's grin faltered that I looked behind me. A smirk appeared on my face as I realized I had backed right into the red water. Looking back to Envy, I wasted no time to clap before touching the liquid.

A power I wasn't familiar with washed over me, alchemy was no longer taxing as I easily overwhelmed Envy. It was forced towards the door, but then it grinned and tried to attack me again. Just as I went to clap, a surge of pain shot through my body and I hesitated.

Crap...!

I watched as it's arm transformed into something sharp like a blade, the tip closing in on me...

**_BOOM_**

The ground beneath us caved, my eyes barely had time to look down before I curled into a ball and hit the next floor.

* * *

**Author's Note!**

**Wow.**

**I'm really sorry guys, but I couldn't find any real time to write. **

**This chapter was originally going to be around 6,000 words, but I ran out of time and energy. I know it's short, but I tried my best to get _something_ to you guys. It's been a very long week, I've had a lot of ups and downs and some really tough moments. However, I knew I couldn't leave you guys hanging! I promise to update on weekends! Exact dates may vary, especially with horse shows being on weekends as well. Hopefully I can get the next one out on time. **

**Huge thanks to all of my reviewers! I got 9 reviews! Thanks for the support! I will continue to write and hopefully get a Q and A done for ch 20! **

**Mega ultra thanks to Chibi Miku-chan for the fanart! I love it! **

**Would love to hear why you love this story so much! Unfortunately I seemed to have brought it down with this lame chapter... ah well, I really tried to get something out!**

**Review please! I love it when you do!**

**Cheers!**

_Iland Girl_


	20. Recoil

**THE OUTSIDER**

* * *

_by_ Iland Girl

"_For those without 'purpose'."_

A Fullmetal Alchemist Fanfiction

_I don't own anybody but my OC's!  
_

* * *

**_Chapter 19  
_**

_"Recoil"_

* * *

_"Letting go doesn't mean that you don't care about someone anymore. It's just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself."  
― Deborah Reber, __ Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul _

* * *

(Erin)

It hurt.

Everything hurt.

It was like all of my emotions meant nothing, breathing was a chore, my vision was dark.

Then it all rushed back, and the pain followed swiftly.

It didn't just hurt.

It burned.

My spine...! Oh my back! I had landed awkwardly on a medium sized rock, right by my right shoulder. It was nothing compared to the burn from my right arm though. It felt like knives were ripping the skin apart, and for a moment I wondered if I was dead yet. Was this was it was like to die? Be trapped in pain for eternity?

I coughed, something gurgling in my throat then. My body wouldn't move though, it was as though everything just _stopped_.

Then my brain ticked, as though remembering it had a job to do. My lungs expanded, my mouth opened, and I took in the largest breath of air I think I've ever taken.

"Erin?!"

My head turned slightly, I moved at the sound of his voice. Golden eyes stared at me in both confusion and concern, but there wasn't anything that would come from my throat. Instead, I shifted a little to get the rock out from under me, gritted my teeth to try and ignore the pain.

Once I managed to shift off of the rock, I tried to slowly sit up. Everything protested, but my brain seemed to acknowledge that I was still in danger at this moment.

"Ed..." I began, my body trembling as my worn muscles tried to work. Everything stopped again when I realized this was another trick. That thing... Envy... was going to try and trick me again. I glared at Envy, trying my best to stand.

After a few seconds I fell back to my knees, trembling. Envy was running over to me, but I glared.

"Stay away from me!" I said, making him slam on the brakes. Looking around, I noticed men in plain clothes sitting nearby me, along with a strange thing covered in fur behind Envy. My eyes widened in shock at the creature

What was that thing?!

"Erin, it's me, Edward," Envy coaxed, gaining my attention again, but when I didn't budge his shoulders slacked a little, a pleading look on his face. "We've been through this, you can trust me."

I shuddered, falling to my knees after another attempt to stand. Envy didn't try to get any closer though, which allowed me to try and think through the haze of this pain. There was no reason for Edward to be here, but wasn't that the case last time? Had he come looking for me? Where was Al? Didn't they want to find out about Marcoh's research? Had they found it?

"I can't," I said, looking at the ground in front of me. My teeth were gritted as a jolt racked through my back and arm. "Even if you are Edward, that thing is here."

"What thing?" Envy asked, sounding confused. I looked up to him, my face contorted with pain.

"That thing that tricked me last time! It takes the face of anyone or anything. Even if you are Edward there is no way to prove it here." I paused, my brows lowering in confusion. "Why are you here anyway?"

At this, 'Edward' balled his hands into fists.

"We came here after Doctor Marcoh's notes were found in Central," He said, narrowing his eyes. "He said we would find the 'truth' in here."

Where was here anyway? Last I knew I was in some town just outside East City.

"But Central's a two day train ride from here!" I protested, but then a look of pain crossed Ed's face.

"Erin," He began. "It's been four days."

...

_What?_

It didn't register at first, the length didn't compute.

Then suddenly it dawned on me just how long that really was.

"But-"

**_SLAM_**

My breath escaped me as something slammed right between my shoulder blades, shoving me into the dirt. My eyes widened as a pain erupted in me. Edward jumped towards me, but stopped and looked above me.

"That's enough chit chat." A painfully familiar voice began. It was him, the evil monster that I dreaded.

Envy.

So that was Edward over there...

His foot was shoved between my shoulders from the feel of it, and my God he could kick.

"Stop it! Let go of her!" Edward shouted, clapping his hands and making a blade out of his automail. I squeaked when Envy stood on me, shoving it's other foot on my right elbow. A cry broke from me, making Ed stop his threats as he looked at me. A fear crossed his eyes when we looked at each other, but then I closed them in agony.

"Ah ah pipsqueak. One more step and I'll break her other arm." Envy said, shoving it's heel deeper into my elbow.

"Envy," That was Lust's voice, right? They were all kind of blending now. "We need her alive, something you seem to keep forgetting."

Her voice slurred, but I doubt she herself was the one slurring. Something sticky surrounded me head. Oh... it's my... blood.

Right, Lust stabbed me earlier... that hurt...

I-I can't...

"What do you want from us?!" Ed shouted, but it sounded far off.

There was talking, but it was just whispers until I heard him speak again.

"I'm not going to use these men to create a stone!"

A... stone...?

The... Philosopher's Stone...?

I see...

It was then that I was yanked to my feet. I wobbled, falling against a body that was much to large and soft to be anyone I knew.

"Alright, here Gluttony, you skipped dinner anyways." That was Envy...

I blinked, then opened my eyes. What I saw would make Mother roll over in her grave. That large creature was holding me with both of his massive arms, a panic raced through me at the saliva in his mouth.

This was... Gluttony! No! I can't! He'll try and-

I began to thrash, but they were horribly weak and only served to make me dizzy. Raising an arm, I tried to pound it against his hands, but they didn't even budge. He chuckled at me, and somewhere in the back ground I could hear Edward shouting for me. I punch Gluttony in the face, but it was pathetic, and then I tried again.

"Let go of-"

My mind went blank.

I stared, for almost a full minute, as I felt the warm liquid glide down my full arm. A strange sense of loss went through me as he closed his mouth, like it was the end of it.

Then the pain came.

My arm...!

Gluttony just-

I screamed.

It had to be the loudest sound I had ever made, it broke my vocal cords, blood in my own system curdled.

_He ate my arm!_

Yet even that sentence didn't register.

_He ate my arm!_

"ERIN!" Ed screamed just as loud as me. I looked to him, begging, pleading for it to stop. It had to stop, I couldn't do this, I wasn't strong enough for this sort of pain.

Still, I screamed until Envy clamped a hand around my throat. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't scream. A sense of being trapped circled me as warm liquid pooled down my right side. Tears sprung easily from my eyes as Envy held me up by my neck.

_My arm!_

"Stop! Please stop! Don't hurt her!" Ed cried, sounding something between desperate and afraid.

"Then you better start making that stone. She's only got a few minutes of oxygen." Envy said, squeezing tighter. I choked, no sound coming from my throat.

_Can't... breathe..._

Ed clapped then, blue sparks fixing the debris around us.

_Hurry Ed! Hurry and...and..._

Kill these people?

My brain must've been mush, because I couldn't seem to care whether they died. Desperation told me I couldn't wait for Ed though, because even at his fastest pace I felt like I was fading.

My vision had black spots, flecked with white stars. My eyes narrowed, the need to breathe being the greatest urge, but the need to scream and thrash coming to a close second.

I closed my eyes.

_Thu-thump_

What was that? It wasn't my heart.

_Thu-thump_

This pressure kept building inside of me.

"What the-"

A red light shone as my eyes flew open, this strange urge to _move_ taking over me. With my bloodied left hand I drew a strange looking transmutation circle, one I had never seen, on Envy's arm. It shone upon completion, Envy's eyes widened as he dropped me before backing away.

I sucked in air as though it were a drug, my vision slowly coming back to me. As much as I wanted to start screaming about my arm though, I realized I couldn't. The will died as the red glow disappeared, fatigue knocking me onto my side. Faintly, I heard a clap, before the ground shuddered and pikes appeared.

"Erin!" Edward shouted, and I shifted a little to look over to him. It was then that I realized that it was him that had made those spikes, but I couldn't even muster a whimper to him.

He ran at me, but then stopped short. In his attack Edward had broken open one of the large vats in the room containing more red water. The reaction was a bright shine that illuminated everything.

Those creatures were retreating.

Good... that means we're...

I blacked out.

* * *

(Maes)

This was turning into a real mystery.

Not only were the convicts discovered in Lab Five stating they were brought there by the Brigadier General, who had disappeared, but the supposedly shut down Lab had been looking pretty operational up until the night the Elrics and Lallier were pulled from the scene.

He'd been searching for nearly three days, some sort of clue to tell him what really went down. Finally, he realized the only way to know was to ask the people themselves.

He had visited the girl first, before making his was to the Elrics.

Al was sitting by his brother's bed, Ed himself looking worse for wear all bandaged up. The teen had just awoken from the looks of it, and stared at Maes as he entered.

"Where's Erin? Is she safe? Is she-she isn't-"

Maes held up a hand to calm him down, a small smile on his face.

"Easy, she'll be fine, more or less physically. It's her mentality to it all I'd be worried about."

He noticed the way Ed grimaced, the boy took the blame on his own. Maes thought back to when he had talked with Roy.

_"I want you to tell Ed that the girl goes to Dublith," Roy began, Maes waited for a moment for more. When nothing came, he spoke. _

_"But...?" He began, a small smirk set on Roy's face. _

_"But if he really wants her to stay, let her. Perhaps that will keep him out of dangerous situations." _

Nice to know that one backfired.

"I think he was right," Edward muttered, making Maes' brow furrow. "I really can't protect her after all."

"Brother, what happened in there?" Al asked, sounding sad. Maes looked over to the suit of armor, he had been wandering the building when the explosions went off, or so he said. Al never saw his brother or Erin until Major Armstrong came running past him with them both in his arms.

Erin was covered in blood and rushed to emergency care that instant, while Edward was taken to the hospital as well. The boy had lost a lot of blood, but his vitals were steady. Erin however... Maes couldn't tell them that she was still in intensive care. Al had tried to come in, but was told she was asleep. That was only half the truth.

Erin was virtually in comatose.

"Now Ed, before you get all mopey why don't you explain what happened like your bother said?" Maes said in a barely light hearted tone. It was heavy underneath, notifying Ed Maes was here on business too.

It was quiet for the longest time then, Ed looking at his hands.

Pathetic.

He couldn't protect her, it was because of those things that this happened.

"What did Erin tell you?" Edward asked, quietly. Maes shifted, sitting on a chair.

"Nothing, she was asleep when I got there." Maes explained.

"I don't know if she could tell you anything anyway. She was in so much pain she barely heard me." Ed began, glaring at his left hand with disgust. "They called themselves Homunculi, and they wanted me to create a stone."

Al gasped as Maes narrowed his eyes.

"No jokes Ed." Maes said in a near fatherly tone, but Ed barely responded.

"It's not a joke." He said flatly. "They said if I didn't create a stone they would kill her."

"Brother..." Al said sadly, not sure what else he could say.

"So did you make one?" Maes asked, but Ed shook his head.

"No, this strange red glow shone from Erin's necklace, and the next thing I know she's making a transmutation circle on the one called Envy. It dropped her and acted like he was dying for a minute before I could react." Ed said, explaining his whole adventure in detail.

"I'm going to need sketches of all these guys." Maes said before walking to the door to fetch some paper. After calling for someone to get it for him, he was about to enter when he heard the brothers talking.

"Forget it Al, it's over." Ed said, still watching his bedsheets. "There's no way she'd stay."

"You can't say that Ed! She's been through a lot, we've been through a lot. The only way we can keep going is if we stick together!"

It was silent for a moment, but then Ed clenched his left hand tightly.

"You didn't see it," He near whispered. "How they just tore her apart. How could I possibly ask her to endure that?"

"But..." Al began, trailing off as he looked down. "I really like Erin. I-"

"I know," Ed began. "I understand how you feel, completely, but the more she hangs around us the more she gets hurt."

It went quiet again.

"I understand." Al said somberly. Maes closed his eyes- so the verdict was out. He pushed the door open then, looking at the two.

"Is that really your final decision?" Maes asked, looking at the blond who had yet to move.

"Yeah..." He said quietly, but then he added on.

"But I have one request."

* * *

(Erin)

I was enjoying my dreams again.

The fields looked so beautiful, I sat on a rock and smiled happily at a younger me and Bray playing.

Yet it couldn't last as the cold reality gripped me, and I awoke from the dream.

At first I thought I was dead, because even with my eyes open I couldn't see a thing. Then I contemplated being blind in both eyes, but then the feeling of fabric over my face made me realize something covered me.

I wriggled my nose, feeling the fabric over my eyes and bridge of my nose twitch when I did.

A groan escaped my lips, where was I?

Flashes of my last encounter poured into me then. Panic rushed through me as I tried to sit up, but something held me down. Images of the black hands crawling all over me came into view, and I just couldn't stop the trembling.

"Let me go!" I shouted, wriggling and pushing.

Something grabbed my left shoulder, pushing me down onto the ground or whatever was beneath me. I started to cry then, more hands grabbing at me and holding me down. Somebody was speaking, but it was just a murmur under my screams. Something told me to stop shouting, but I couldn't, I wouldn't, because I was too damn scared I wouldn't speak again then.

"Edward!" I shouted, waiting for those beautiful eyes to capture my gaze.

Nobody came.

"Edward!" I cried again, this time louder. Somebody was shouting at me, but it wasn't that familiar voice. My voice rung in my own ears as I continued to cry, begging for the boy to come. With him I knew I was safe, with him I knew I could do this.

"_**EDWARD!**_"

* * *

(Edward)

Maes whistled.

"That's asking a lot, you do realize Roy is already sticking his neck out there about keeping Erin's secret, right?" Maes asked.

"I know," Ed began, but then he looked up to the older man. "But I can't just let her rot away here."

"Well, we could always-"

Maes was cut off when the door to Ed's room flew open. It hit the wall with a loud _bang_ and a man in surgeons clothes stood in the doorway. He looked urgent, panicked even.

"Lieutenant-Colonel! The patient is awake!" He shouted, looking worried as he shifted a glance to Ed and Al.

"That should be good news, why are you so worried?" Maes asked in a rush, his tone low.

"She's having a panic attack." Was all he said before Ed and Al caught on. The blond tried to jump from bed, but winced when one of his wounds felt like it opened.

"Brother!" Al shouted, trying to hold him back as Maes ran out the door with the medic. Ed pushed at his brother though.

"It's Erin they're talking about Al! We've got to- ngh! We've got to do something!" He said, standing and fighting against the pain. He and his brother rushed down the halls, soon hearing a wail that came in the form of the blond's name.

"EDWARD! HELP! EDWARD!" Erin cried, something dropped inside of him, and he began to sprint, nearly missing the door when he ran into the frame. Something definitely broke open then, blood rolling down from his gut. He looked into the room, seeing four men trying to hold her down.

"If she keeps thrashing she'll break open her wounds and bleed out!" A medic told Maes, who stood near the door as he watched the girl. Edward pushed to go past him, but then the older man grabbed his shirt.

"Don't Ed," Maes said over the wails. "She's not your burden anymore."

_Not anymore_.

Something struck a cord inside of him as he looked at her, flailing under the arms of the men. They uncovered her eyes, but she was so frightened she swung around without sight. If he went to her now...

He gritted his teeth.

He shouldn't! He should just turn around and run. Run back to his room and forget. Forget that she was here, in pain, because of him. He should just forget she even existed.

"EDWARD!"

_No..._

_I could never do that._

He ran over to her, thrusting himself out of Maes' grip, and pushed another man out of the way. He shushed her, even though she continued to thrash.

"Erin!" He called, making her cries soften a little. "Shhhh. I'm here."

"Ed...ward?" She whimpered, her one good eye settling on his golden orbs. A warmth swept through her as she saw him, the warm smile he forced onto his face. She reached out weakly with her left hand, and touched her fingers to his face. When her fingers came in contact with solid flesh, tears began to fall down her face.

"It's you," She whispered, a weak smile on her face. "I'm glad."

Her frail fingers reached to grab his shirt, and he could see she was trying to pull herself to him. She wanted to be held, who was he to ignore this? He pulled her head to rest on him, the medics moving away as he held on to her. When her head was tucked against his chest, he let the fake smile wipe off his face.

He'd done this to her, and now she would pay the price for a mistake of his own making. How could he possibly keep dragging her along? No, he'd already chosen, he had to finish this.

So why did it have to hurt so badly?

Erin stayed against his chest, feeling content as she drifted back to sleep. She couldn't see, or even feel, that he was trembling. She didn't know the decision Edward had pushed her to.

And soon, it wouldn't matter.

* * *

**Author's Note!**

**Wow, okay I'm super hazy from a bunch of product fumes. Feeling kind of light headed... I graduate tomorrow!  
**

**There is no doubt this chapter is not top notch, but I honestly just HAD to get something out! It was sitting in the back of my mind how to play this, because I didn't know how to keep Erin really focused on her fears without... dragging it out too thin? Let's go with that. This was actually supposed to be in chapter 18, and would've reached a record 7,000 words. The longest of this story! (My longest is about 13,000. But that was only for a special story...). I felt that it should be posted ASAP because of this.  
**

**As you are all aware, next chapter is the Q and A! Following this publishing of the next chapter I will be revising my chapters to be sure this damn story stays upright! I also want to make sure of my plot to see how many holes I still have to fill...**

**So... Erin's lost her arm... Her necklace is Spitfire almighty, and Ed and Al are going to have to say their goodbyes. Wonder how Erin's going to take this, and what was it that Ed agreed upon with Maes? **

**A huge thanks goes to LeFay Strent! Chicka you rock out! For those who don't know, in the past hm 12 hours LeFay reviewed damn near all my chapters! And marvelous feedback! **

**So yeah, I would like to point to everybody I GOT ACCEPTED INTO MY FAV UNIVERSITY! Yes! They only take 30 students each year and look who made the mark out of 500! Me! Yay! **

**Epic day so far, super worried I will fall on my face tomorrow. My friend is making me go to the bar (Sheesh, why can't I be a hermit and stay home?!) so there is not doubt in my mind that I will not be posting until Saturday... OKay maaayybe Friday!**

**I really need to make a schedule...**

**Oh yeah, I would like you guys to tell me what you think of Ed. I tried to balance his feelings carefully, but somehow I feel the scales are beginning to tip...**

**Review please! I love it when you do!**

**Cheers!**

_Iland Girl_


	21. Empty

**THE OUTSIDER**

* * *

_by_ Iland Girl

"_For those without 'purpose'."_

A Fullmetal Alchemist Fanfiction

_I don't own anybody but my OC's!  
_

* * *

**_Chapter 20  
_**

_"Empty"_

* * *

_"The world is indeed full of peril and in it there are many dark places.  
But still there is much that is fair. And though in all lands, love is now  
mingled with grief, it still grows, perhaps, the greater."  
― J.R.R. Tolkien, __ The Lord of the Rings _

* * *

**A/N: Before you read, search up the song Empty by Click Five. Fits this chapter epically.**

* * *

(Erin)

My thoughts came out in jumbles for the longest of time.

The only thing that hadn't escaped me was the darkness. I felt it coil around me, hold on tight, and only one thing could cure the fear.

His arms.

I felt so warm, so safe, when he held me. Yet I had succumb to fatigue and fell back into the darkness.

Perhaps I wasn't as deep in sleep as I thought, because I felt things, heard whispers. Somebody was brushing my hair around, playing with the strands.

"_Goodbye."_

But... who are you?

* * *

(Erin)

My eyes finally felt light enough to open, at first my heart clenched when I felt cold. Then I saw the wire in my wrist, an IV, and realized where I was.

But...

Where's Edward?

I tried to sit up, wincing slightly when I felt something clench in my gut. I went to reach and hold the painful area, but soon realized there was an issue. Looking down, I saw only one hand holding me up.

Where's my arm?

Oh no... don't tell me I lost it! B-But you can't just-

"_Here Gluttony, you skipped Dinner." _

My chest tightened.

_"Erin, I'm here."_

That's right, I lost my arm and Edward had protected me. Looking at my right hand, I clenched it into a fist.

"Hey there Kiddo," Said a voice vaguely familiar. Looking over to the door, I recognized the man as Lieutenant Colonel Hughes. He'd helped me once before. "How are you doing?"

I shifted uncomfortably, before trying to look around the room without wincing at the movement in my neck.

"Where are the brothers?" I asked, wincing before looking back to the man when I didn't see them. Hughes sighed, before walking in completely. He grabbed a chair before sitting right next to my bedside. My brow furrowed, what was going on?

"Due to the circumstances, Ed and I have reached an agreement," He paused before watching me carefully. "You will be placed under Colonel Mustang's protection."

I don't... what?

"But how can I do that and see Ed and Al?" I asked, confused. Hughes grimaced a little, his face going to all flat lines after.

"They're gone," He explained. "They left yesterday."

...

It didn't register, and the only thing I could say was, "Oh."

That was it, the only thing my mind could come up with as the feeling of dread washed over me. My mind went numb as Hughes waited for me to react, but nothing came out. I just stared at my hand, watching it stop clenching the sheets, lying there limply.

"Oh."

* * *

(Erin)

The train ride was dead quiet, not a word was spoken as I and my new protector traveled.

The sun was almost set, and we were finally almost at our destination. I watched as the trees turned to flat landscape, and the shadows of the city became but a distance dream.

The train slowed to a stop, my eyes slid over to Armstrong, my body guard. He nodded, I didn't show any reply other than standing to get off. When my feet hit the platform, I wobbled a bit. Major caught me, something stung horribly in my shoulder, but I didn't have even the energy to react.

It's been a week since I awoke, two weeks since I was admitted into the hospital. Technically I wasn't supposed to be walking around, but Hughes explained that Edward had made a request before he left. I stared at my feet as I walked quietly behind the lively talking Armstrong. He spoke loudly, but I didn't hear a word he said.

"_Ed worked it all out for you to stay with the Rockbells at least until you've recovered. After that it's up to Mustang where you will end up." _

"Erin!"

I barely had time to look up before Winry latched onto me. There wasn't enough energy in me to react, or speak, so I just stood there. When she realized I wasn't going to hug her back, she let me go.

"The lady needs a rest. Do you have a room set up for her?" Armstrong asked, gently guiding me, sounding much softer than before. Pinako motioned up the stairs.

"In the back on the right. Winry, go with her and make sure she's comfortable." The lady commanded in her usual tone. When Winry pushed my shoulders, I moved forward, watching my feet the whole way into the bedroom. Silently, I noted this was the room I stayed in last time, before being guided to sit on the bed. The sun's rays brushed my skin through the window about the headboard, but I didn't do anything other than stare at the place my left hand would be kissed by sunlight.

"We better check those bandages," Winry said, but when I made no move she helped me remove my shirt. I sat there, feeling numb as she unwrapped the wound. "I'll go get some more, just wait here."

I didn't reply, Winry left the room.

A sound reached my ears then, a hum I hadn't heard in a while. It was beautiful, like a clear bell that was only rung once a year.

Laughter.

It sounded like Edward's.

Could it be...?

Turning, I gazed out the window. All I could see was the fields behind, and a path with a few people walking. Still, I couldn't single out any blonde's.

Stupid Erin, why would he come for you now?

I looked back to the floor, my eyes felt like they were dimming.

* * *

(Erin)

It's been four days that I've been at the Rockbells.

Armstrong has tried multiple times to talk me into stretching my legs for a few minutes, but I've yet to speak to him. Even Winry, who had been trying to get me to speak, had stopped asking me questions.

Just what did they want me to do?

I didn't understand what I was supposed to say.

Winry walked into the room then, the once bright eyes seemed to lack luster now.

"I just came to take your plate." She said, making my eyes flicker to the untouched food. I refused to eat, it just made me throw up later. Winry sighed a little, before she turned to leave.

I heard the laughter again, it came back every evening so far. Each time I heard it, I was filled with warmth. The idea that they would come back for me kept me clutching to that tiny thread.

Then it all be crushed just because of something I couldn't control.

Why...

Winry paused, looking over to me.

"Why... what?" She asked. Did I say that out loud? My gaze flickered to her again, and I just couldn't bring myself to say anything else. Winry stood there patiently, but after ten minutes of silence she sighed again.

"I know you're upset about losing your arm," She began, but I knew she didn't understand. She couldn't understand how I felt, because she was Winry, and I...

"And we are here to help you through this. But the only one who can fix things is yourself." She said, but when I didn't reply she left. My brow furrowed when the door shut, a strange thought running through my head.

Help... myself?

* * *

(Erin)

Help myself...

How does one help themselves... when they don't know what is broken?

For four days that thought has been circling my head, but each time it just blurs over and I tried to ignore the impending question.

But how does one do it?

There was something wrong with me, but I just couldn't place my thumb on it.

I looked outside, the sun was nearly set, there was no laughter today. With a slight frown, I looked around the barren room. Downstairs I could hear Pinako and Winry working on automail, but Armstrong... I couldn't tell where he was.

A sudden itch came over my legs, an urge to get up and go somewhere.

But where?

I didn't know the answer, yet I still found myself standing. My legs trembled, I hadn't moved from the bed other than to use the toilet in days. I held back a grimace at the pain of moving, and walked to the door.

As quietly as I could, I walked down the stairs. When I reached the bottom, my feet took for to the door. Where was I going? I didn't know. All I knew was that I _had_ to go, right now. I walked right outside, barefoot, and trudged through the grass. My breaths came out heavy, I felt so tired and I'd barely left the house.

In the distance I could see a tree, which meant shade from the hot sun. I walked to it, wanting to sit down again. My mind said to rest in the house, but my legs pushed me to walk onwards.

After a long twenty minute walked through a field, I came across the tree. It was caged in by a fence, and surrounded by multiple stones.

A graveyard.

My stomach lurched, I wanted to go back. So I turned and took a step towards the Rockbell's home.

"_We tried to bring her back, we tried to revive our mom._"

I paused, glancing over my shoulder.

Somewhere in that graveyard, was the reason for Ed and Al's very existence.

Hesitantly, I walked over to the gate, gently pushing the metal door open. It whined in protest, but I ignored it completely as I made my way in. Walking down the line, I read all the names, looking for one that was familiar.

_Trisha Elric_

When I came across the name, sitting alone higher on the hill, I stopped. This had to be it, the date matched up and the sir name. I stared at the name for the longest time yet, not sure what to do. A cough reached my throat, I winced when it pulled at my stitches. Giving up on standing, I sat down right in front of the grave.

My hand softly ghosted over her name.

"Hi," I whispered, my voice hoarse after not being used for weeks. "I'm Erin... Erin Lallier..." I wasn't sure what I was doing, but the thought of this woman raising those two just made my heart clench. A painful smile pulled at my lips, my brow curved in sorrow.

"You have no idea, but your sons are absolutely incredible. They are strong and brave and-"

_I miss them._

My eyes closed, I covered my face in shame then as I turned around to lean against the grave.

"You should be proud of them...! They deserve the best life can offer them..."

_Not this rotten trade they have right now._

I looked up to the sky, clouds huddling over top of me. Just as I blinked, a drop fell on my forehead. Then another on my lips. Soon it was a strong downpour, but I found no desire to search for cover. My mind went blank as I stared up into the rain, feeling cold but not having the strength to do anything about it.

In a matter of minutes I was soaked to the bone, a shiver running through me. I curled into a ball, crying out. For what, I had no idea. For home, for my limb, for my family, my sight, for Al, for Bray, for Edward.

"Please..." I whispered.

_Somebody stay with me._

I shuddered from the cold, but that was all. A scream broke from my voice, a wail and sob, but then thunder crackled and I snapped my head up. I quivered at the thought of sitting through the storm, but then the lightning whipped through the sky and I huddled lower. A growl broke through my throat as I shouted at the thunder and lightning.

"Shut up!"

The thunder boomed again, lightning following afterwards, the rain falling even heavier.

"Shut up..!" I cried, this repeated until I was barely whimpering the words.

"Just... shut... up... shut up..." I whimpered, angry at the sky, for scaring me, for reminding me I had no one to hold on to. Nobody could shelter me from the storm.

I was all alone.

* * *

(Erin)

_I had a dream. _

_One I didn't plan to ever wake from. _

_We were in my favorite field, everything was relaxed. The rain fell in buckets, but I didn't care. It could be a twister, I was safe where I was. _

_Right in his arms. _

_I looked up at Edward, smiling as he clutched me tighter. That ever beautiful smile on his face still. Al held my hand whenever I grimaced, I knew he was smiling despite there being no expression in his armor. _

_I huddled my head under Ed's chin, his hair falling loosely around me. All I could do was smile as I felt his pulse and heard his heartbeat. Warmth pooled into me as I felt his arms tighten even more. _

_Never had I felt so safe._

* * *

(Erin)

I woke up in the room.

My head was pounding and I couldn't decide whether I was hot or cold under all the blankets. I knew my chest was freezing from the realization that it was only a dream, but then I noticed the blond sitting beside me. At first my heart lightened- Bray? Edward?- but it was only Winry. I sunk visibly back into the bed, the cold cloth on my head letting small droplets out in the process.

"What were you doing all the way out by the graveyard Missy?" Winry asked, a frown on her face when I stared. "We were all worried sick for you!"

I didn't answer, just looked away. Winry huffed, going to stand.

"Fine then, I'll just be downstairs-"

Panic covered me when I realized I would be alone.

Alone.

No, no more of that...!

I reached out to Winry, having to stretch to reach the hem of her pants with only one arm. She looked down at me, seemingly surprised as I stared with pleading eyes.

"N-No, I'm sorry... Please don't leave-" I had to let go of her as a huge coughing fit racked my body. The world was spinning so badly I fell back on the bed. Winry paused for a moment, then returned to her seat.

"It's okay," She said with such a warm smile. "I'm here."

"_Shhh, I'm here."_

My chest ached, but I didn't comment on it at all. It was silent for a moment, but then I spoke.

"I'm really... sorry... Winry," I said, moving my hand to my chest over my heart. "But I... I feel so..."

"Sad?" Winry offered, but I shook my head.

"Useless."

"Useless?" She asked, bewildered. "But you're not useless Erin."

"Think ... about it," I said slowly, trying to even out my scratchy voice. "Would you take somebody... along with only one ...arm? Who couldn't ... defend herself?"

It was then that she seemed to understand then.

"You're talking about Ed and Al, aren't you?" She said, sounding sad. I nodded, frowning a little bit. It went quiet for a moment, but then she sighed. "When Ed first called me and told me what happened, I was shocked."

I looked away from her.

"But I think the thing that shocked me the most was the guilt in his tone." She added, making me look at her in confusion.

"But it wasn't... his fault..." I said, frowning. "Just mine."

Winry had a knowing smile then, but she didn't stop there.

"I think Ed and Al left you here because they think you're safe. They really care about you Erin, that's why they worked so hard to help you." Winry said, something clicking inside of me.

_"Do you really think we'd go on a wild goose chase half way across the country just for some brat we hated?! Do you seriously think that badly of us?"_

Something warm stirred in my gut, something I hadn't felt in days. I sat up then, despite the world spinning, my eyes watered. Winry reached out to help me, but I just sat there, numb.

"I don't know... Winry," I whimpered, covering my face with my palm as tears fell freely. "I'm always alone... Always standing... by myself."

What good was it to hope, when they just kicked me in the teeth afterwards? What good was friends and family when they couldn't reach out to you and catch you when you fall?

Never in my life had I felt this hollow.

This empty.

"I think you've got it all wrong," Winry said, making me look up at her through my one useful eye. She still smiled at me. "Because your loved ones are never gone."

She placed her hand on my chest, but I just stared at her with wide eyes.

"The people you meet, your friends and family, they are always there for you. Even when you can't see them, they're right in here." She said, pressing firmly on my collar. "They'll help you all along the way."

"_You've got a brain, don't you?"_

My hand covered hers then, more tears falling down my face.

"_Then use it to fix your mistakes!"_

"Winry...!" I sobbed, grabbing her with my one hand to hold her. She gently held me back, and I barely noticed the stretching of my stitches. It had to have been at least another hour that I cried before I fell asleep again.

* * *

(Erin)

_I was dreaming again. _

_This time I was down in the dirt, feeling broken and awful. _

_I couldn't do this alone. _

_Then just as I got to my knees, a hand reached out to me. Looking up, my eyes widened as I saw Bray grinning at me. _

_"Need a hand?" He teased, but then two more hands reached out to me. _

_"Mom... Dad..." I whispered, yet more hands reached out. Auntie, Uncle, Winry, Roy, Al, Ed... everybody was reaching to help me, all of them trying to help me in the way the knew how._

_"We've got you!" They said in unison. A smile that I hadn't smiled in a long time broke across my face. _

_Of course. _

* * *

(Erin)

"_So the war veteran's daughter has finally come from the slums._" Roy said into the phone. Four days of rest and I had cleared my cold. I actually felt good now that I began to eat again. My brow furrowed at Roy's remark, was he testing me? What would the proud daughter of Anatol Lallier say in this situation?

I snorted.

"It was just a short vacation," I began. "I do have a request though Colonel."

"_Fire away._" He challenged.

"I need to know, did my father have any savings stashed away anywhere?" I asked, looking to the ground and biting my lip. Armstrong sat on the couch not far from where I handled the phone. He looked at me curiously, but never said anything otherwise.

"_Lallier had a large sum under his belt_," Roy began, making me smile. _"But after defecting from the military all of his assets were removed by the military."_

Then my heart sunk, but he sounded like he was smirking.

"However, I did manage to get to his Savings first."

My goodness you rock Roy! No matter what Edward has said about you!

"Just how much do I have then?" I asked, getting excited. Winry walked in as Roy listed off the number in Sens. Unfortunately I didn't know enough about the currency to do anything about it and simply ask for him to send a large sum to me.

I would need every penny.

"Thank you so much sir, I owe you one."

"_Hmph, I'll keep that in mind_."

We both hung up then, my shoulders feeling a little bit lighter as I looked to Winry with a determined look.

"Winry, what's the standard time for healing after Automail surgery?" I asked, making her stop and Armstrong jump up.

"But- why do you need automail? It's really painful and expensive and-"

"Winry," I began softly, looking at my right palm. My brow furrowed. "I can't stay still forever, there's something I have to do, a promise I have to keep. And the only way I can do that is by grasping it with both arms."

She stared at me for a moment, but then somebody else answered her question.

"The standard is almost three years," Pinako said, making my heart sink. "Ed did it in one year though."

"There has to be another way," I insisted. There always was another way, you just had to dig for it. "A short cut or something."

"If you got to the big city doctors you may scrape off another month or two, but nothing more, not to mention you would have to go to intensive rehabilitation sessions every week. You wouldn't be permitted to leave their facilities either." Pinako pointed out. I bit my thumb, trying to think as hard as I could.

"What about six months?" I asked. Winry gaped at me, but Pinako seemed to consider it.

"No, not on your own. You would need outside assistance." She explained, making me think.

Then I got it.

What if I sped up the healing with alchemy? It would take a long time to even find books worthy of reading, but I was grasping at straws as it was. Anything was a good thing at this point.

"Doesn't matter," I said adamantly. "I need that arm."

"It'll be extremely painful." Winry told me, looking nervous. I shook my head though, there was nothing that could stop me. I'd already wasted almost a month moping around, it was time to do something!

I paused in mid thought then, looking at Winry with a sheepish smile.

"I can endure the pain, but there is one thing I need help with." I explained, holding out a piece of paper and envelope. Winry blinked, but then she smiled warmly before giving me a hand.

* * *

(Edward)

Nothing.

They found absolutely nothing in the month that they had been searching Central Library.

Ed was beginning to snap.

How could they not find a single lead on the Philosopher's Stone or the Gate? Lallier's books had to be somewhere, but it was like they didn't exist! Unless of course they had missed it somehow. Edward's brain itched at the very thought of having to go back and search again.

"We'll find it," Al said when he noticed his brother wasn't fairing so well. "We'll get our lead Brother."

He was beginning to doubt himself though. Still, he remained positive, despite the obvious reasons not to.

After another hour of searching, they decided to call it a day.

Edward lead his brother down a hall, towards their room, dragging his feet slightly. He yawned and stretched a little too dramatically, Al could tell his mind had already wandered back to their friend.

The younger brother often found Ed day dreaming, more than once needing a book thrown at him to get his attention. Al missed Erin a lot, but he hadn't been there the night Erin lost her arm. He knew Ed felt responsible, a guilt never seemed to cease in him.

It never had actually. The guilt from that night lingered on even after he had left the girl behind. He couldn't do anything for her, and it was all his fault. He never protected her like he should've, sometimes he wondered if he had reacted a minute sooner; would she still have her arm? He was terrified that she hated him; but could he really blame her?

A heavy feeling sunk inside of him, he didn't want her to hate him. He liked Erin; she was spirited but not crazy. She knew how to keep a level head, and that smile- it got to him everytime. A smile so warm it could've melted glaciers. He loved that smile, but found himself unable to picture it after the Lab Five incident.

When he last saw her, begging for him to come closer, he didn't want to look in her eye.

The once strong and brave girl looked so utterly broken, all because of him.

For a month, he'd felt like he was absolutely hollow.

Empty.

"Full Metal, sir." A soldier called out to him. He blinked out of his thoughts, both he and Al stopping their walk. The soldier stopped close to him and saluted.

"There's a call for you from Colonel Mustang sir!" He said. Ed nodded in slight confusion. Why was Mustang calling them again? Hadn't he made it clear he wanted to find a lead? Unless perhaps Mustang had found something for them to go on. With that frame of mind, Ed's pace quickened slightly as he hurried down the hallway. Al was at his heels, but made comments about how fast he was walking.

Hastily, he picked up the phone that was waiting for him.

"Yeah? What is it?" Ed asked, hearing a slight chuckle at the other end.

"Why it's glad to hear from you too Ed. Glad to see your manners haven't grown as short as you have." Mustang teased easily. Ed fumed.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A SHRIMP?!" He shouted, but then he growled when Mustang let out another chuckle. "What have you got for me Mustang? Or are you only calling to make more short jokes?"

At this point, Al was debating on finding shelter. His brother looked ready to kill as he snorted hot air out of his nostrils.

"Actually, I have a favor to ask of you," Mustang began, Ed's face contorted with confusion. "I have a package to deliver to the south. Take it there for me. It has to go there as soon as possible, don't you dare try to waste time. You hear me?"

Ed just about broke the cord apart.

"I'm not your courier! Get somebody else to do it!" He shouted. Couldn't the Colonel see he was busy right now? Still, Mustang persisted.

"That's an order. The package will arrive in a days time. Also..." Mustang trailed off, looking at the envelope in his hand. He smirked, she wrote just like her father. "There's something here for you as well."

To this, Edward calmed down a bit, his eyes soft with wonder.

"Something for me?"

"You'll find out soon enough," Roy said, smirking a little when he put the envelope back down. "In the mean time, try to make yourself useful and look for those notes. And if you're too short to reach the top shelf there are plenty of ladders."

"I'M NOT-"

Mustang hung up the phone before Edward could rant a little more. He smirked, enjoying pushing Ed's buttons. He waved for Hawkeye to take the package and envelope away, before looking down at the picture of him, Hughes, and Lallier.

"I owe you a lot, consider this part of my payment."

* * *

(Edward)

"Oh that stupid good for nothing egotistical bastard with a god complex..!"

The next day, Edward was still fuming at the Colonel. What sort of deal was this? Did he get demoted to delivery man and not notified? Ed was hot enough to fry an egg on his face, Al tried not to picture it in his head though.

"Where is this package going anyways Brother? Do you know what it is?" Al asked, Ed grunted as he stood in front of Central Headquarters.

"Hmph, like I care what it is. We'll just drop it off and head back and start reading again." Then he muttered under his breath. "Like I need a ladder..."

"Hey I think that's for us." Al said, pointing to a soldier standing in the middle of the courtyard with a package in hand. It wasn't very big, perhaps half a foot in length, and it was square. Ed and Al walked over, taking the package. The soldier saluted to them then.

"Sir! I have a paper with the exact address for the package." He said, handing off the paper. However, when Ed read it, he blanched.

"But... this is going to-" He stopped, he couldn't say anymore. Al leaned down to take a peak, letting out a gasp.

"Resembool?" He asked out loud, disbelief evident in his tone. Edward scowled; was this some game to Mustang? He was trying to let go, what use holding on for so long? The quicker he stopped reaching out and evaded her the better.

Yet at the same time, he would eventually have to go to Winry for repairs. He would see her eventually.

Just... so soon?

He was scared to look her in the face, scared he would see that scowl and hatred in her eye.

Her smile seemed like a faraway dream.

"Come on Al," Ed muttered, pushing past the soldier with the box in his hands. "Let's get this over with."

"Ah," The soldier began, fishing in his pockets. He held out a letter to the brothers, Ed handed the box to Al before taking the letter. He flipped it all around, but only saw _To Elric_ written on the front. "This came from Mustang. He said that you should read it before you get to Resembool."

"Thank you." All said, because Edward was staring at the letter apprehensively. What if... no it couldn't be... but what if it was from her?

His chest tightened.

"Yeah," He whispered, pocketing the letter. "Thank you."

* * *

(Edward)

They'd be arriving in Resembool soon enough.

Yet Ed had yet to touch the letter.

Al asked if he would read it for a while, but Ed refused to pick it up, what's more he refused to let Al read it either. However, saying no to a seven foot suit of armor was no easy task, and eventually Al did get his hands on the letter.

Al read quietly, Ed trying not to notice the emotion in his voice when he spoke again.

"Brother, I think you should read this." Al said, something in his tone making Ed feel anxious. He looked at his brother, then the letter, then back out of the window.

"I can't." He said, narrowing his eyes at the fields.

"But why not? You have to, if you don't then-"

"It's not like that Al," Edward began, closing his eyes as he leaned back in his seat. "I can't read it because..."

He choked himself off, not wanting to admit it out loud.

"Brother," Al began, his tone firm with understanding. "This is Erin, you can trust her."

He looked to the paper again, but then looked down.

"What if..." He began weakly. "What if what she says has changed? What if she really hates me?"

There, he'd asked it. There was no going back now, it was in the open air and nothing could change that. Al was silent for a moment, and Edward contemplated telling him to forget about it. Then he heard Al chuckle before looking up to see the paper held right in front of him.

"I really doubt she could ever hate you Brother." He said, his voice full of warmth. Ed hesitated, eying the paper carefully. Finally, he took it and leaned forwards in his seat as he began to read.

* * *

(Letter)

_Elrics, _

_It's been awhile. _

_I hope you still remember me. I remember you both, very well. When we last met, it was on bad terms. _

_I'm sorry for that. _

_I'm sorry that I wasn't strong enough to protect myself from those things. I'm sorry I wasn't brave enough to fight just a little bit harder. I'm sorry that I put you in such an awful position. I'm sorry for letting Envy trick me so many times. Most of all, I'm sorry I never kept my promise to help you both._

_ I've been more of a hindrance than a help, haven't I? _

_You did your best to protect me, and all I had to do was follow along. Yet I went and stuck my head out and got hammered down. For that I apologize, it was my fault. You both have only ever been kind to me, doing everything in your power to protect me, shelter me, keep me safe. Without you both, I wouldn't have made it this far. Without a doubt, I would be lying in a field somewhere, dead from starvation or wounds. _

_Yet I'm alive, all thanks to both of you. _

_It's taken a little bit, but I think I've come to understand how to cope with losing my arm. A little piece of me has gone, but I've been filled with new things. I've met you both, cried with you both. I'm a little stuck right now with all that's changed, but I refuse to stop moving forward. You never did stop either, and it is because I have watched you both push past your sorrow that I have hope. Hope that I could somebody be just like the both of you. You're both incredible, have I ever told you?_

_I must admit, I am hurt. You left without saying goodbye. Or perhaps it was a blessing in disguise that I wasn't awake for it. _

_Because I don't want this to be goodbye. _

_I won't let this be goodbye._

_I've never held on, not like this. It's a first for me and it's really scary. I'm afraid of reaching out, but I trust you both too much to let my fears get the better of me. _

_"Home isn't a house, a field, or the place you rest. It's where someone is waiting for your return. It's where open arms are always your welcoming. Home is where your loved ones are."_

_You both are my home. _

_And I need you both more than you could ever understand. _

_I will take anything that comes my way, because you did the same for me. There aren't words that could express what you've done for me, how you've changed me. _

_I love you both so much. _

_And I haven't given up on you. _

_It might take a little while, maybe a whole year._

_But someday I want to see you both again. I want to walk beside you, like before. _

_So please, don't give up on me just yet. _

_Erin_

* * *

(Edward)

He put a hand over his face when he finished reading. His teeth clenched as he tried to fight of the trembling in his body. Edward now understood why Al had been so at peace when he'd read this.

_She loves us. She never hated me for what I did._

Al remained silent as he watched his brother, wanting to smile now that Edward finally realized. They could push her away, escape across Amestris, but Erin would still be with them. Whether they liked it or not.

She was in their hearts.

Somewhere along the line, Edward hadn't even realized, but that tiny cornerstone that the girl once took up had spread. Everyday since Lab Five, he'd thought about her. Come to think of it, even before that he'd been thinking of her a lot already.

Edward felt embarrassed as he tried to hide the emotions running across his face.

A month.

He'd wasted a month trying to push her out, and here she was, greeting them with love and affection.

Not in four years had Edward felt like he might cry.

Not since today.

* * *

!COMMENTS SPECIAL!

"Hey guys!" I grinned, waving to the camera. Erin, Ed, and Al all stood in the back, looking a little worried. I turned to look at them, blinking a little. "Hey, why are you guys back there?"

"Because the last comments special you got a horrible idea," Edward said, holding out his script. "What the heck is this? The fans would hate it if I-"

I quickly ran and clamped a hand over his mouth, sweating a little.

"Now now Edward!" I said, glaring at him. "No spoilers."

Ed nodded vigorously, before Erin tapped my shoulder. I looked down at her.

"Um, why did I have to lose my arm? Couldn't I have just... grown it back?" She asked, staring at the missing appendage. I sighed, shaking my head.

"If you were a tree, sure you could grow a new branch. But I suppose for a while you've been a good girl so..." I clapped twice and Erin grew her arm back. She stared at me, eye twitching.

"How...?"

"I'm an author, we make lots of things come out of thin air."

*Crickets*

"Anyway," Al began, looking at the stack of papers. "We've got a lot of work ahead of us."

"I know right?!" I squeaked, fluttering over to the large stack. "My reviews have doubled in a mere five chapters! I feel so loved! Thanks so much guys!"

"Yeah, thanks for torturing and butchering our characters." Edward muttered, but then I pulled out a steak knife and grinned maniacally.

"I'm sorry, what's this about butchering?" I asked in the creepiest tone I could muster.

"A-Anyway," Erin began, grabbing the first review.

"_YouGoGlenCoco_

_Omg !_  
_You responded , I mean Erin responded to me !_  
_As well as Edward (cough * sexy * cough )_

_Still one of my favorite storys , it's flippen awesome dude ._

_Poor Ed , he's gonna get tortured ( Evil Grin )_  
_That's right Ed , Iland Girl has the power to put an arrow in your_  
_( cough * sexy * cough ) butt!_

_*OH MY FLIPPERSON , I JUST REALIZED THAT ME AND ED ARE THE SAME HEIGHT . WE'RE BOTH 4'11_  
_OH NO , IM A MICROSCOPIC BEAN SPROUT 0.0 *_  
_J.K_  
_Hahaha , I can't believe it happened to you more than once and with your friends boyfriend , talk about awkward ._  
_It only happened twice for me , once with the baby , and another time with my grandma ._._  
_Anyways love the story as always !_  
_Question : Does Erin have a signature look to her ? If she does , can you describe it ?_

_Keep on writing !_  
_#Stay original Gurl_

_PEACE OUT GURL SCOUT!_"

Ed was fuming.

"For the last time I'm not short!" He shouted, but I laughed.

"But Ed, she called you sexy." I pointed out, Erin blushed a little, Al looked away giggling then as Ed blushed a little too from embarrassment. "As for signature look, well Erin has to go shopping for new clothes since she's been wearing clothes that aren't hers for a long time. Which should be in a chapter or two. Think of it as apart of Erin's renewal. But I can tell you she's got about as much fashion sense as Edo here."

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Ed shouted in my ear, so I shoved a paper in his face.

"Your turn." I said with a grin as he muttered under his breath.

"_AuthorChick96_

_Why for you leave me on a cliffie like that? You're so mean sonetimes._  
_But I love the chemistry between Ed and Erin; it's too cute. I definitely enjoyed the comment response s amd you should do it again! Can't wait for the next chapter_!"

"Glad you like it!" I smiled. "I'm working so hard to make sure the chemistry makes sense, however I fear in this chapter I went a little overboard..."

Al picked up a paper as I thought.

"_Luvrainluv_

_Hiya! So um, I meant to leave an awesome review complimenting your story, but I'm sleepy and suck at stuff like that. Just know your story is good and that I want you to update soon. :)_"

"All good Luv! A review is a good review, no matter what! Unless you tell me to go back in the box, then there's a problem!" I picked up a paper next.

"_Dubstep Queen_

_I love this. I can't wait for some more romance xD_  
_This is one of my favourite stories, and you are very creative and a great writer. Your probably first author that kept me on the edge of my seat. So keep up the good work, and thanks for the great story._"

"Woot! I'm a creative wriiiiter! I'm a gripping wriiiiter!" I sung, doing a happy dance. Erin giggled at me before grabbing the next paper.

_"Amezialy_

_Finally found and FMA Fanfic that interest me, keep up the good work can't wait for it to update_."

"Yes! New reader! You rock!" I shouted, practically shoving the next paper to Al.

"_Christmasloot_

_This chapter was kind of really depressing. T'was awesome. You're excelent at setting the mood and thanks for lettin me know bout the rating. I await the next update!_"

"You're welcome! Now as I said this story spans a long time, especially then next five or so chapters, so I for sure am not going to encourage teen pregnancy by having them get it on like bunnies or anything! Although..." *Glances at the duo who are beet red*

"We're standing right here dammit!" Ed shouted as Erin turned around and began to walk towards the papers.

"Hurry! Next one!" She cried, handing it to me. Thanks to ADD, the moment was forgotten as I beamed at the next review.

"_Angelic Toaster_

_EEK_

_DUDE._

_EEP. I can't wait to read more! And if you don't mind, I may just try my hand at a little fan art! I mean, I am very not-so-good at drawing, but I need something to pass my time since I went and got myself horribly sunburned... And your story has so much inspiration in it!_"

"I will always encourage fanart. I love fanart, no matter if you think it is good or not I will always think it is good! I really hope you try it! Glad to hear I give you inspiration!" I said, then frowned. "I always burn too, which is why I update so often, I avoid the sun and too vigorous activities... other than horseback riding, that's too much fun."

Erin grabbed the next paper.

"_YouGoGlenCoco_

_Woot wootStory is getting good !_  
_Aww poor Erin :(_  
_Anyways as always love the story and keep on writing._  
_Question: Does Erin play an instrument , if so which one ? O.o_

_#Stay original Gurl!_

_Peace out gurl scout !_"

"Glad you asked! Erin does play an instrument!" I said, looking to the girl. She smiled.

"The piano!"

"Originally she was going to play the Flute, but then I realized that might be cheating off of LeFay Strent and feared my inspiration came too much from her, so I went with an instrument I actually know. I've played the piano for ten years so I know it pretty well hehe. You'll hear more about the piano later on, until then thanks for the review again!"

"But... it's been at least two months since I played the piano..." Erin began, getting nervous. "What if I screw up?"

I grinned at her, patting her short head.

"It's like riding a bicycle, you never forget!" I said, she sweated nervously though. Then I noticed something. "Hey, you've gotten taller!"

"Huh? Really?" She asked, squeaking when I yanked her to stand next to Ed. A low whistle came out as Ed glared at me and Erin blinked owlishly.

"Yup, you're almost four inches taller than him right now. See the shrimp was weighing you down, couldn't tell because he's so small, but that automail has to weigh as much as he does." I said casually, pretending Ed wasn't trying to kick my ass as I spoke. Erin sweated a little, motioning for Al to grab the next review.

"_Chibi Miku-chan_

_I would like too make fan art I have a deviantart account so I can post it on there. Don't change the rating justsay for the chapter it's rated blah blah so if you don't like don't read. And can you please read my fanfic please. It's my first story on this website so now I know the horrors of being an author. And who does Al like!? And I'm glad it's a Ed/Erin. I love this story too death it is really good. Your a great author_!"

"Thanks so much to Chibi-chan! She made some fanart for me! Just type in her name on deviantart and viola! It's there! Once I figure out how to put links on my profile I shall put it up there! Thank a bundle! And I will go to read your chapters as soon as I am done!" I said, grabbing the next review and handing it to Edward.

"_Hidden Depths of the Mind_

_Great chapter! I'm a new reader, kinda, but still!_

_Mostly I'm just commenting about the fanart. I've done fanart for a few stories, including one of mine, so I would love to draw Erin! I'm not terrible at drawing, either, so yeah..._

_Um...love the story, would love to do fanart, yeah, I think that's everything!_ Stop encouraging her dammit!" He cried at the end. I for one had stars in me eyes as I imagined all the fanart photos.

"Happy days are here again~!" I sung gleefully. Al was sweating a little as he handed me another review.

"_xxsabellaxx_

_Please keep writing this fanfiction. If you don't i will cry. You are very talented. That is all_. Believe me, I plan to write this baby till the end! Originally I was going to write it as a trilogy, but I find I'm too gluttonous with all the reviews stacking up in one book to really want to start at zero, I'm too picky. Plus I would like to finish a story through and through! Not stop at the halfway point!" I said, saluting to the camera. Ed sighed, scratching the back of his neck.

"And here I thought we might get lucky and she'll get bored of us." He muttered before Erin grabbed a review.

"_Angelic Toaster_

_WOW._

_So, first, congratulations on graduating and getting into that university! Have fun with that!_

_And now I've got to say: seriously, you are a wonderfully dedicated writer, and this story is really awesome_!"

"I know right?! I go into a university that rocks! And I got scholarship money too! How epic is that?! Tuesday was the day of all days man! I was so happy yet sad to see my classmates go because I know some of them I will never see again. But I will meet new people and I'm ranting so I'll shut up now. Oh and thank you go saying I'm dedicated! I'm just super delusional that I'm this totally bad ass writer haha."

Ed grabbed the next review in the middle of my speech.

"_Chibi Miku-chan_

_Does Erin's necklace have the philosphsors stone? And yes you did swell on trying too balance out his feeling perfectly. Will Erin get automail? Will Ed and Al take Erin back too their group?_"

"Well I guess this chapter answers everything eheh. Well Erin's necklace is actually a total secret! So I will try and say that Erin's necklace is peculiar but as to whether it has a stone? Eheh, you tell me." I said, winking. Ed smacked his forehead.

"You can't just do that! You're horrible at answering questions! You probably just gave them more!" He shouted, but then I shrugged.

"Brother, I wouldn't bug Iland Girl right now, she's got the power to make you-"

"Ah!" I shouted. "That actually happens so SHHHH!" Then I paused and smiled. "So you've been quiet because you think I wouldn't notice you, or are you afraid I'll tell everybody about-"

"I-I'm sorry!" Al squeaked, looking all embarrassed. Armor can look embarrassed, because I said so.

"Alright already! Last Two!" Ed shouted before handing one to Al.

"_jess_

_Update as SOON AS POSSIBLE PLEASSSSEEEE! Great work!_"

"Well... here you go!" I said, pointing upwards at the chapter. Then I grabbed the last review and read it.

_"Christmasloot_

_The more I read about this story, the more I love! Kya! Please update soon!_"

"Aw yeah! Iland Girl~! Making people want to read~! Bringing back... eh... EDUCATION~!" I sung, throwing my hands in the air.

"You're awful." Ed said. I slumped down.

"I know."

"Hey wait," Erin began, noticing a still large pile on the table. "What's all this?"

Ed paled.

"You mean there's more?!" He slapped his face. "How could this story possibly get so many reviews?!"

"Eheh, those are all from the same author. Unfortunately if I put all the reviews down on here then I would never see the bottom of the page. I did however PM her the replies, but she had asked me some questions!" I coughed and cleared my throat before turning to Erin as I read her questions.

"Erin, have you ever had hooker boots?"

"Hooker boots?" The brothers both asked. Erin paled, but then ducked her head.

"Well, I thought they would make me look taller in grade nine... All the girls had them and I figured I'd give them a try." She looked at me, looking somewhere between innocent and worried. "Then I fell down the stairs and flashed a boy my underwear because I wore a skirt that day. I never wore them again after that."

"You... showed someone... your underwear?" Ed thought out loud, his face turning pink at the thought. I took my spray bottle out and sprayed his face.

"Bad Edward! No dirty thoughts!" I scolded, making him glare at me. "Oh, by the way, what were you thinking when Erin was giving you a massage?"

"What?! When did this happen?" Al asked, I thought for a moment.

"Hmm... chapter 14 I think..." I muttered, before glancing at Edward. "So what were you thinking?"

He turned pink again.

"I was thinking..." He paused, before slapping a hand over his lips to keep from talking. His face turned a little bit more read as he remembered that sweet smile.

I grinned and looked to Erin.

"So... for your 18th birthday..." I began, Erin got the hint and nearly fainted. "Okay for Edward's."

"WHAT?!" Edward shouted, but then I laughed.

"I'm joking! C'mon! You guys haven't even kissed!" I paused then, turning to Al. "So Al, was it you who made the door knob break off?"

Both blonde shorties stopped shouting and turned to glare at Al. Al saw Hell in those eyes, but then waved his arms in defense.

"It wasn't me! I swear by it!" He exclaimed, making me sigh.

"Sadly it is true, Al had no part in it. Pure luck is all." I said. Both of them looking at me before Erin and Ed walked over to the side to whisper about whether to believe me or not. When they weren't looking, I smiled over to Al and high fived him. When the looked back we both whistled nonchalantly.

Ed's eyes narrowed but then he sighed.

"Whatever, I'm tired, are we done now?" He asked, I nodded.

"For now, see you a 5AM tomorrow sharp!" I saluted, making Erin pale. She and the boys walked out, Erin crying a river of tears to have to wake up early. I turned and waved to the camera.

"Bye guys! Hope you have more questions because I would love to answer! Anything is fine! You can ask anybody anything! Even me so long as it is not too personal (like my address) or vital to the plot!"

As the camera panned out, I waved with a foxy grin.

"Bye Bye!"

* * *

**Author's Note!**

**Okay! So I hope you guys liked it! I know this comment special wasn't as great, but I've been on a time limit! This chapter is over 9,000! Can you believe it? **

**So anyway, I hope to high heavens I didn't rush this chapter. It felt very rushed and so I went back and fixed things, but I'm still not entirely convinced. However I would like to know as readers what you thought of this chapter! I so ship the song, it fit amazingly and made me smile when I listened to it as I re-read the letter. I hope everybody was still in character, because let's be honest as an author there is nothing more I could possibly want than to have Ed and Erin happily together and living cute cookie cutter lives, but alas that is not realistic anywhere at all. **

**So please tell me what you think! I won't update for a little while, will be going back, adding things, editing things. Nothing important to the plot, mostly just making the story smoother! I hope you guys like this chapter, I've been wanting to write it since chapter 6! **

**Huge thanks to LeFay for helping me get my motivation back, I really needed that!**

**And it just dawned on me now that I'll be gone all weekend...**

**So I posted this early! **

**Okay maybe I should just tell you guys when I plan to update, and then you just check a day ahead? LOL I'm sorry, but I would really hate to make you guys wait! Just press the 'alert' button and it'll tell you when I update! If you don't have an account, you can make one for free or even just check in when I vaguely say I may update!**

**So I AIM to get another chapter out around Monday/Tuesday, knowing me I just might make it, but I doubt it'll be a very long chapter. That'll probably be it until July, since next Thursday is the start of another horse show, but I will hopefully pick the pace back up after that! **

**Review please! I love it when you do!**

**Cheers!**

_Iland Girl_


	22. I Will Wait for You

**THE OUTSIDER**

* * *

_by_ Iland Girl

"_For those without 'purpose'."_

A Fullmetal Alchemist Fanfiction

_I don't own anybody but my OC's!  
_

* * *

**_Chapter 21  
_**

_"I Will Wait For You"_

* * *

_"And so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the trees, just as things grow in fast movies, I had that familiar conviction that life was beginning over again." _  
_ ― F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby _

* * *

(Erin)

If anybody ever tells you that getting automail is a piece of cake, they were probably just trying to make you feel better.

Never in my life had I been in so much pain. I wouldn't wish that feeling on my worst enemy. There was a point where I wanted to cry, but I fought the tears, because Winry and Pinako needed to concentrate on the operation, not my pain.

I now understood why it would take so long to rehabilitate my arm. For the first month, all I would have is the port attached to me. There was a brace that covered the attachment, encouraging my skin to bond over the metal. Although the port was attached to my nerves and bone, it could still rip out easily. It would be at least a month before I could put the arm on. Three if my body rejected the foreign object.

Lucky for me, Winry said I was healing quite nicely. I couldn't tell though, I was in constant pain so bad I barely had the strength to sit up to eat in bed. Often times I found I slept almost the whole day, waking to having Winry check my bandages and clean the wound if it looked like it might get infected. I also couldn't lean certain ways, or put pressure on the port. Bed sores were a possibility at this rate, I'd already been laying for around a week.

At least three more to go... yay...

I winced when a jolt of pain shot through me, my nerves were active in my shoulder still, and sometimes there would be a misfire since the port sent chemical signals back to my brain, but since I _knew_ I still didn't have an arm I sometimes felt a strain in the arm that was missing.

Complex, and painful, but each day the pain lessened slightly, letting me mark just how far I had gotten in my recovery.

Whenever I was awake, I tried to pass the day with reading alchemy books that I had Winry help em carry from the market place. However alchemy books around here were very limited, and a lot of them even contradicted themselves, so I mostly just tried to pass the time with reading.

Still, sleep was my favorite way to pass the time, or at least, for the first week it was.

I woke up around mid-afternoon one day, and I felt a little less pain. Although I was glad to have more energy and less pain, it was nothing compared to the emotions that ran through me when I saw those beautiful golden eyes.

"Ed..."I looked to my other side, tears pooling in the corner of my eyes. "Al..."

I tried to sit up hastily, but then a massive sweep of pain knocked me flat on my back. A cry nearly ripped through my lips, but then they spoke and I became dead silent.

"Don't move you idiot!" Ed shouted, but when I looked I could see the worry in his eyes. He was tense, as though to grab at me if I needed help. Despite the pain, a smile curved at my lips.

"It's been a while, hasn't it?" Al asked rhetorically, but there was warmth in his voice. I looked over to him, smiling still.

"Too long," I insisted, noticing the armor twitch a little. "I really missed you guys."

"We missed you too Erin," Al said, sounding like his usual chipper self. I grinned before looking over to Edward. My lips quivered a little then when I saw the odd look in his eyes. He was forcing a smile, but the mask was slipping quickly as he tried to hide it with that grin.

"Yeah, we did." Edward said quietly. Everyone was silent for a moment, but then I glanced to Al. He stood up and went for the door, pausing in the frame.

"I'm going to go and talk to Winry, it's good to see you Erin." Al said, making me smile.

"Right back at ya, teach." I said, making him chuckle. The armor left down the hallway, and soon his heavy footfalls couldn't be heard anymore. It was just the two of us, so why did that make me nervous? I glanced at the blonde, smiling a little in an attempt to make him smile. He was looking at the bed sheets, but when I smiled he gave a horribly fake one back. I frowned slightly then, not sure what to say or think.

Why was Edward being so... none Ed-ish? I blinked a few times, trying to understand him. Okay, if I was Edward, what would my thought process be like...?

...

Ah... That was why.

My right hand reached out from under the blankets, the tips of my fingers gently touched his cheek. He must've been deep in thought, because his eyes widened with surprise when I touched him. He looked at me, one part shocked and another part confused. His brow worried as I smiled at him again.

"I don't blame you, Ed," I said softly, my eyes half lidded. "If anything, it's because of you that I survived. They would've killed me for sure otherwise."

"They wouldn't have captured you if they didn't want me." He said, his voice a little raspy as his face contorted in anger. I frowned then, my own brow worried.

"Edward, you can't carry all the blame," I insisted. "Had I been smarter, I might've been able to get away. It's my fault for not choosing wisely, for faltering when I should've ran."

He went quiet then, his head hung so his bangs blurred my view of his face. My hand dropped to the bed, my eyes watching the way his fingers gripped themselves.

"Doesn't matter," Ed said, his voice somewhere between angry and sad. "Because I was supposed to be there." He looked up at me then, my heart leaped to my throat then. His gaze was so intense, so full of anguish, I nearly started to cry.

"I made the promise to protect you, and I failed." He whispered the end, my eyes widened as I watched him beat himself up over this.

My arm was gone, there was nothing to bring it back, but what I could do...

Slowly, I lifted myself to sit up. Wincing when jolts of pain ran through me. Ed reached as though to push me down, but I guess he was scared I would get hurt.

"Hey! What did I tell you, you idiot-"

He stopped in mid shout when I had finally sat up. My right arm reached around his neck, and I pulled him into a one-armed hug. I smiled as I pulled our foreheads to rest against each other. It was dead quiet for a while as I held him closer, a grin spread across my face when he relaxed.

"You didn't fail your promise," I said smoothly, looking at his beautiful eyes. They stared back at my grey. "I'm still alive, after all."

He was silent then, his eyes becoming half lidded in thought.

"And even if you think you failed," I began, squeezing him a little bit harder.

You pulled me from the dark place that not even my brother could drag me from, took me in and tried your best to help me. You protected me not once but dozens of times against enemies I could only dream of having. You worked so hard to make sure I was happy, despite me being a near stranger to you.

You stupid shrimp, you're not a failure.

"You're still my hero, Ed."

His eyes widened at that, but before I could say anything else another jolt of pain went through my body. Ed helped me lay down, his one hand rested under my head. It shifted to hold my cheek lightly, I couldn't help but lean into his touch.

"You're such an idiot," He began, trembling a little. "You've got one twisted sense of heroism."

"No, I just like my men out of tights and on the short side." I teased, noticing both confusion and irritation run across Ed's face. A small chuckle escaped me, but I didn't try to move in fear of being in pain again.

"You should get some rest." Edward urged, I snuggled into his palm a little more. His hand was large enough to be comfortable and warm underneath my cheek. My eyes closed, despite my urge to keep them open.

Just a little longer.

I didn't want him to leave.

"Don't... leave... just yet." I mumbled, my eyes fluttered once to see a strange emotion come across those gold orbs before I closed them properly. As I drifted off to sleep, the softest touch I had ever felt was placed on my forehead. A bare whisper was spoken that I almost missed before darkness drew me in.

"I will wait for you."

* * *

(Winry)

True to his words, Al had actually been talking to Winry when Edward came down. The girl looked at him with a slight frown. The girl hadn't been impressed with the situation, at first she wasn't going to let them see her simply on reflex. Erin was probably already struck with so much pain with the loss of her arm, what would happen if Edward had said the wrong thing?

Then she had seen the desperate look in his eyes when he asked to see her. She hadn't seen him look like that in a while, and she knew he was feeling guilty for whatever happened to her.

She looked up to Edward, noticing the tension in his shoulders was near gone. He looked relaxed and, at peace. Winry realized him going up there was the best choice after all.

Ed sat down on the couch across from Winry beside Al, lounging as he yawned loudly.

"Well, since we're here I might as well get some maintenance." Ed said out of the blue. Al chuckled a little bit then.

"You just want to see Erin a bit longer." He teased, and Winry felt a little off by the look Ed gave in return. Somewhere between embarrassment and worry.

"What?! Not like that! That's ridiculous!" He shouted, but then quieted down in fear of waking the blond wreck.

Winry felt a little sore when he said that. It was so obvious that he liked her as, at the very least, a very dear friend. There was no doubt Erin felt the same way. She didn't know the full extent of Erin's situation, but she could tell that the brothers were a vital part to her life now. Why it had come to this, Winry didn't know.

In one sense, she was glad. Winry was happy to see Edward and Alphonse made a very sweet girl as a friend, yet at the same time, she wasn't. That nagging feeling inside her told her that Erin and Edward were starting to open the door to 'more than friends'. It worried Winry, but mostly because Erin was her friend too. She nobody to get mad at other than her own feelings.

What was this feeling anyway? She hadn't felt it like this before...

Pushing her thoughts back, she sighed before standing up and putting her hands on her hips.

"Well if we're going to do maintenance, better get to it."

* * *

(Erin)

The wind felt so lovely on my face after such a long time of stale air.

When I awoke, Al was sitting there, telling me they could stay for two days. I was eager to spend as much time as possible with the brothers. So while Edward was getting his measurements down, Al had carefully carried me outside to sit on the grass. Pinako told me that as long as I didn't try to run around I should survive. That didn't comfort me, so I just laid there, bathing in the sun.

"So what have you guys been up to?" I asked, glancing to the armor lying on my left. He looked to me, but then back to the clouds we were watching drift by.

"Nothing much, we were looking in the library for information about the gate and the stone, but other than that we haven't really done anything," Alphonse said. I hummed a reply, closing my eyes as I took in nature around me. "Brother won't say it, but he really missed you."

I opened my eyes at that, glancing at the armor. Warmth you can't find from the sun reached me, making me smile.

"I missed you guys as well," I said, looking to the sky. "It's funny, I've never felt this close to people who aren't my family. But you guys... you're really special, y'know? You've both got this memorable visage that just stamps into my brain and no matter what I do I can't forget you guys."

It was quiet for a moment as Al sat up.

"You were trying to forget us?"

The wind blew by harshly, as though it too was scolding me. A jolt of pain went through me, but I didn't say a word other than grimace at the sky. It was true, for a while I thought that maybe forgetting them was safer, maybe it wouldn't be so hard.

"When I thought you both weren't coming back," I said, looking at him with a sorrow filled expression. He looked at me for a long time as I tried my best to apologize without words.

"But we will always come back." He said in such a confident voice. "As long as you want us to."

I smiled at that, the warmth wrapping around me.

"And I will wait for you both to return," I said, raising my right arm with my pinky finger extended. "So long as you pinky swear to return."

Al looked at my pinky, then my face, then laughed before his giant pinky wrapped around my own.

"I promise."

* * *

**Author's Note!**

**I am so sorry this is ridiculously short!  
**

**My co-workers and boss are driving me nuts! I've been doing double and triple shifts because NOBODY has shown up to work! Seriously?! I'm super tired right now and have to go to work soon. :( Maybe during the horse show I might get some rest! However, I doubt I can update tomorrow Like I said I might. It may have to wait until after this coming weekend.  
** **A huge thank you to everybody who reads and reviews. It is only because of the reviews that I've taken time out of sleeping just to update! It's 9 am and I really need to get to work, but I promised an update and so it shall be done!** **Once again, I'm sorry this is ridiculously short, it's a little saddening after a huge long chapter prior, but I got something, right? I want to know if you guys have any scene requests while the Elrics are here to play! We will be getting back to the main plot in about five chapters, so please give me a shout out!**

**Review please! I love it when you do!**

**Cheers!**

_Iland Girl_


	23. Dear Diary: Part 1

**THE OUTSIDER**

* * *

_by_ Iland Girl

"_For those without 'purpose'."_

A Fullmetal Alchemist Fanfiction

_I don't own anybody but my OC's!  
_

* * *

**_Chapter 22  
_**

_"Dear Diary Part 1"_

* * *

___"Any fool can know. The point is to understand."  
― Albert Einstein_

* * *

(Erin)

_Dear Diary_

_Winry gave me a book today. A journal of sorts. She seemed to realize I was in a slump after the brothers had left, she was so sweet to me though. She said, 'When I feel down, I like to write down what I feel.' Although that book would be a gold mine to find, I think I might take a different approach. As such, I wanted to write down everything that has happened. I hope to hide this book, and possibly come back later to read it at a different date. So that I know, in one of my roughest times yet, I still stayed strong._

* * *

The past two days had to have been the most fun I'd ever had.

Everyday was spent with the brothers, one of them was always in the room with me. Al even carried me outside a few times to get fresh air. Between Edward and I talking about my side of the gate, and Al teaching me fundamentals of Alchemy, I had no time to even notice the days pass me by.

However, I knew it couldn't last. On the third morning, I awoke to no Edward or Alphonse in the house. I did happen to awake to a stack of books though. After letting slip that I wanted to study alchemy, Edward had seemed to be thinking deeply. On top of the stack of books was a small note addressed to me.

_This should keep you out of trouble. Read them in order and we'll be back before you know it!_

_-Edward_

I smiled, needless to say I followed his directions.

In one month they said they would be back. I planned to be ready for them when it happened.

* * *

_Two Days Later_

Trying to study in the Rockbell house turned out to be quite a difficult task.

Winry and Pinako had quite a few patients coming and going, most were rather noisy and tearful too. Not to mention the sound of the duo _making_ the automail was to be added on top of that.

After a while, it just got to be too ridiculous for me.

Packing up the book I was currently reading in a nap sack I borrowed, I slipped my shoes on and made my way out of the house. Armstrong watched as I left, I took the time to thank him for being here even though I knew he'd rather go home. Armstrong was really nice to me, I liked him a lot.

My feet however took me out over the hills, down the road, and up to a familiar tree.

The graveyard was always quiet, people hardly visited there. The tree looked so inviting as I sat in it's slightly hollowed trunk. Sitting down, I propped the book open on my legs and began to read.

* * *

_One Week Later_

I stared down at the page I was reading, yawning slightly.

For a while now I had be coming back to this tree, this place to rest and read. So far I had finished one of the books Edward and left for me. A smile played at my lips as I remembered the look on his face when he smiled. That smile was so damn infectious.

Flipping the page, I came across a word I had never read before.

_Iatrochemistry_

The word was completely foreign, I even read it a few times to be sure I hadn't made a mistake. Yet it was there, clear as day. I blinked a few times, just staring and trying to decipher the word with the sentence.

_In the study of Iatrochemistry, one must know the elements in greater depth than one who studies Alchemy. _

It didn't make sense to me, but I dog eared the page, just to make sure it wasn't completely lost to me, before I moved on.

The books were tough, the first being very basic and easy, but this next one held complex theorems and equations. My head hurt trying to decipher this. At one point I debated waiting until the brothers came back and helped me.

That thought died in the very depths of my mind. This was something I _needed_ to do on my own. Not only had Edward told me human alchemy was forbidden, but he and Al were both prime examples of _why._ A lump formed in my throat when it finally registered just how much they had lost. Putting my only hand to my chest, I gulped a little.

If I didn't learn this properly...

There might not be anything left of me to try again.

* * *

_Five Days Later  
_

I was starting to doubt myself in being able to learn anything lately.

So far everything was going over my head. However, I needed to try at the very least.

My tree had become my home away from home, it didn't hurt to walk there anymore like it had a week ago. The port and brace were settled nicely now. My skin and body had accepted it phenomenally, according to Winry and Pinako. They took the brace off yesterday, and my shoulder had never felt so light before. Pinako said I might be ready for my limb in a month or so. This made me excited to know I was healing better, but at the same time I wasn't learning anything.

Which is why I thought maybe I'm more of the practical kind of student. I'd always been a hands on kind of gal, why not try out something more practical than paper?

I chose a field away from any houses or crops. Out of respect for the dead I avoided the graveyard too. I brought the basic alchemy book with me today, giving my brain a break from reading. Flipping open to the desired page, I began to read.

_The circle of a transmutation circle represents the flow of life. There are no breaks, no turns, and no end. It is continual, much like alchemy. To create you must ultimately destroy. That is the first rule to Alchemy._

I drew a circle, taking my time to actually make it a perfect hoop, with a stick as I dragged it through the dirt.

_Triangles are used to portray the elements. The more complex of an array, the greater number of triangles._

Sticking my tongue out of the side of my mouth, I drew, to the best of my ability, a proper triangle.

_Other runes may be used to follow up these triangles. For a more concentrated approach the application of these runes will allow a greater abundance of energy to be reserved for later transmutations._

This much I understood, however, the three steps to actually preforming alchemy were lost to me still.

With a final gulp, I placed my hand on the circle. Instantly my fingers felt what truly lied in the dirt and grass below them. The nutrients, the atoms, the compounds. Yes, I could feel every single one of them.

This was where things got complicated.

The electric pulse hummed in my body, and I knew this was the surge that I was becoming familiar with. I urged it to keep going along its course, to take what was needed as I broke apart the elements. Yet no matter how much will and concentration I put into it, the electrical like surge halted in its tracks, before reversing. Double time.

_Boom_

A miniature explosion went off around me, dirt flew up everywhere. I coughed, closing my eyes from the stinging dust and dirt, and covered my head. When everything settled, I coughed a bit more before wiping my face and looking around.

This was my fifth failed attempt at a transmutation.

* * *

_Four Days Later_

With no real heading, and Winry growing suspicious of me coming back covered in dirt, I had decided to go back to the books.

All this studying was getting me nowhere though! What use was this knowledge if I could never put it to practice? When I had been using both arms I had been doing alchemy like it was second nature, and suddenly I can't? Why had alchemy been so easy for me? I thought back to Lab Five, as Armstrong had renamed the incident, the red glow that had shone on me, the transmutation circle I suddenly _knew _would burn Envy's skin and destroy it.

How had I known that? Why haven't I the foggiest clue where that came from? It seemed so obvious why I had used that circle, how I had done transmutations before. So why, out of nowhere, had I forgotten?

With a sigh, I packed up my alchemy book, the third book now, and headed back for the Rockbell house. Once I was on the path that led to it, a soft smile pulled at my lips as I took in the look. The home-y glow that lit up the windows and the grass around it. It was dark, I had stayed out a little too long perhaps.

When I walked inside, Den barked in greeting. I pet her after I took my shoes off before trodding on into the kitchen. Armstrong and Pinako seemed to be having a heated discussion, too busy to even notice my appearance as I sat down my Winry. She sighed in contentment while I looked at my dinner plate.

"Finally, some sane company." She muttered. I chuckled a little before lifting my fork.

"Sorry, was out reading for a little longer than I thought I would be." I admitted. Armstrong gave a short glance at me, but when I saw the dirt on his pants I kind of knew he'd been watching me again. Although the man was stealthy I had caught him a few times trying to watch over me as I took strolls through the town.

"You've been reading a lot lately..." Winry muttered, though she seemed to find some sort of logic as she didn't push it further. Instead she changed it to something else. "Hey you're hair's a lot longer than when we first met."

At her observation, I shoveled another fork full into my mouth before putting it down and untying my hair from its low ponytail. I no longer had bangs, just a side part with the hair going long past my chin. It still covered my eye, the loose hairs not _quite_ long enough to put into my low ponytail. The rest was down to around my mid-back. Although I didn't have thick hair, I did grow it out rather quickly. A blessing one its own.

"Would you like me to cut it?" Winry offered. I looked over to her, nibbling on my lower lip.

"Sure, whenever you're not busy I suppose." I said softly, smiling a little as I forked more food into my mouth. These were some good mashed potatoes...

"Great! I can't wait to see what you look like with a new hairstyle! You're going to be so cute!" She squeaked. For a moment I worried Winry might cut off more than just a part of my hair. What if she cut it so my ear was missing too? I paled at the thought, but silenced myself by shoveling more potatoes in.

"Oh! How about we give you bangs again? Maybe sweeping all the way across your face so-"

"No, I'd rather have it like when I first met you." I explained calmly, though I felt a little bit nervous at the thought of showing my scar. There would be nowhere to hide then...

"Oh but you'd look so cute-"

"Na-uh."

"Please I'll do a really good job-"

"Nope."

"I'll make you super pretty and cute-"

"Not on your life."

"I bet Ed would like it too-"

"Winry!"

It seemed what she had said caught up to both of us, as both our mouths stopped running. I stared into those eyes of hers for a long time, neither of us broke eye contact.

"_I bet Ed would like it too."_

A lump formed in my throat at the very thought. Why would Edward give a damn what my hair looked like? We were friends, but it wasn't like we noticed every little thing about each other.

So why did that make me feel so...sick?

There was no other way to describe it, but then my attention adverted to the look in Winry's eyes. Multiple emotions flashed across it, one of the most distinctive was pain. Why did she look like her own words stung her? I didn't understand, and then suddenly I did.

She liked Edward.

Why else would she regret her own words with such a look?

A second later, I realized Pinako and Armstrong were staring at our silent exchange. Deciding to save us, I let a small smile slip onto my face.

"It's not that I wouldn't like to have you cut my hair and make me pretty," I began, holding a hand to smooth down the bangs over my eye. "But I'm not ready to..."

I'm not ready to show my ugliness.

Winry gave a soft smile in return, looking down to her plate.

"Yeah, alright."

That was all that was said on the matter. Part of me was sad that I upset Winry, but another said this was for the best. Would I rather run around with tiny bangs, showing my wound to the world? No, that wasn't an option, not right now.

After dinner, I helped the best I could to clear the table and clean up. Pinako shooed me away after awhile, saying I wasn't even supposed to be out of bed. Reluctantly, I made my way over to my room and laid down on the bed. I gave a small wince, although the port didn't necessarily hurt to move around, putting too much pressure still ached something fierce.

I laid there, staring at the white ceiling, for the better part of an hour. The sun had long since set, but I hadn't turned on a light to my room. My brain was working in overdrive still though, trying to grasp it all. Everything that had happened. I had been in this world for, what? Four months now? Gotta be close to it. Everything that had happened was making me feel... stuck.

This time last year, I was more concerned about video games, fantasy novels, and trying to hide my scar. Not to mention the most important person in the world was my brother. He still is, but I've come to notice something about myself. Since being apart from my brother, I'd... how could I say it... branched away from him?

Since coming to this world, I've grown. I used to think the world was out to get me, that I was the person with the worst life. Now I had seen Hell, I had met people who truly knew Hell like the back of their hands.

Closing my eyes, I pictured a certain pure gold idiot that had a height complex. A certain amazing boy-soon-to-be-man that had taught me what nobody else could.

Edward, you taught me how to grow. Maybe it was always there and I never noticed it, but you were the first person to actually show me it. I was always a hands on person, and you, of all people, showed me just what I was missing.

Life goes on. It keeps moving. So do you and Al. I've never met two people, so young at that, that were so admirable. You never let your Mother's death affect you, you never let your messed up bodies affect you either. You're still moving forward.

Do you know?

That you are without a doubt, the person I admire the most?

A sigh escaped my lips as I glanced at the ceiling again. Why was there this sick feeling in my gut whenever I thought of him? It didn't happen with Al, or Bray, or Alex. So why you?

Why only you?

Sitting up, I dangled my feet on the edge of the bed and scratched the back of my neck. From here I could see the dresser and the vanity in the corner. I hadn't noticed it until after I had broke from my reverie, and had only began to use it about two weeks ago. Standing up, I walked over to the mirror and stared at my reflection. Just stared, nothing else.

My one visible eye stared right back at me. My skin had tanned since I'd been spending so many days in the sun, but the lines were beginning to get uneven since I wore the same style of T- shirt everyday. Maybe I should go tanning tomorrow...

Slowly, I lifted my right palm to pull back my bangs. The lack of sun over the wound had made it look worse, now a stark contrast compared to my smooth and tanned skin on the other side.

Could I ever get over this stupid thing?

It wouldn't heal, not for a very long time at least.

Since coming to the Rockbell's, the skin had began to heal around the edges, no long crusted and torn. I cleaned it every other day, and slathered cream in an attempt to stop the ache.

It always ached, like a dull throb, probably because when I first got it I never took care of it. When it first happened, I so desperately didn't want to know that it had happened.

That day...

I dropped my bangs, my fingers clenched into fists. Glancing over to the side of the mirror, I noticed the necklace I had draped there.

Dad's pendant.

Softly, I cupped the pendant in my palm, staring at the surface. I gulped once, but then let it go. Watching it swing back and forth, like a pendulum, my thoughts wandered again.

In two weeks, the boys would be back. At least, that's what they said. Hopefully they were alright, I was worried that when they did come back, something might've changed.

My eyes narrowed as I glared at my own reflection. So hideous and unladylike.

So nothing like Winry.

"_I bet Ed would like it too."_

I'll bet when Edward gets back he'll be thinking about how cute Winry is.

It was then that I stopped myself, my eyes going wide. What the Hell was I getting so worked up about? Why am I comparing myself? Why am I being so cruel? If Edward and Winry got together, that would be great! They were both awesome people, and awesome people should stick together.

Yet there was no denying the pain in my gut then.

* * *

**Author's Note!**

**Hi guys.  
**

**I am beyond unimpressed with my computer. For two weeks I had been writing one really huge ass chapter, one that would've covered all of Erin's recovery... and then it _breaks_. My computer just went caput. I am SO unimpressed that I had a horrible day even though it was my day off! **

**Then I'm rewriting this chapter, and I'm editing it and everything, and then- my power was killed and my Aunt's computer goes caput. No file saved! F U WORLD! F U! **

**So this is the LAST time I'm writing this! I saved this much, and tried to add on but each time I write another 1000 words SOMETHING HAPPENS! So I will leave you with this for now. **

**Sorry for not having any Brothers in this, and next to no dialogue. There was a very good scene between Winry and Erin at the end, but it was deleted every time I wrote it. **

**I'll be waiting for my computer, since this one sucks, but it won't be ready for a couple of weeks T.T and I couldn't leave you guys hanging any longer! Please forgive me?**

** I had 13,000 words man! I'm not happy at all! Instead I think I will branch it off into segments so you're all not waiting another month (Shudder) because I know how it feels to be waiting on a story that the author never updates frequently enough. **

**Anyway, it'll probably be a three part segment, and I really hope you guys like it! I wrote this all in one go mostly because if I pause then I probably won't write again (and the power might die... again) for another week (pale at the thought!)** **Oh, and before I forget, Erin lost her Left arm, I was originally debating which arm she should lose in _Recoil_, but decided two automails holding hands made for a cute picture, no? **

**Also, thank you to everybody who reviewed! I got ten reviews in one chapter! I read them all whenever I can since it's hooked up to email alerts on my iphone! A huge thank you goes out to all of you! Without you I probably wouldn't stress about updating ahaha!**

**I will admit that other than my computer not working, there is also a big show comping up. It's two weeks long, so I HIGHLY doubt I will have time to update! Who knows though, my horse has been injured for two weeks. Hopefully he's better soon! If not my coach wants me to take one of his sales horses, so its not like I'm not riding at all!**

**Review please! I love it when you do!**

**Cheers!**

_Iland Girl_


	24. Dear Diary: Part 2

**THE OUTSIDER**

* * *

_by_ Iland Girl

"_For those without 'purpose'."_

A Fullmetal Alchemist Fanfiction

_I don't own anybody but my OC's!  
_

* * *

**_Chapter 23  
_**

_"Dear Diary Part 2"_

* * *

___"____Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.."  
― Unknown_

* * *

(Erin)

It's been three days since Winry and I had that argument.

I have to admit, it's starting to really make me angry.

Neither of us have given in; and I really don't want to be the one to fold my hand. The problem was I forgot what we were even fighting about. Was it Edward? Me looking pretty? Or maybe she was just upset I wouldn't let her cut my hair?

My head spun a little; why was Winry acting so cold?

Well, cold doesn't justify it. She was just acting... indifferent. When I tried to say hi, she just mumbled back. Sometimes I caught her glancing at me; but I couldn't figure out why.

On the forth day, I had had enough. It was bad as it was having nobody to talk to during the day; not to mention during dinner. I didn't want to lose a friend over something trivial- possibly non-existent!

"Winry," I began, watching the blonde pour herself over an arm. My arm, it was almost ready! Four more days, and maybe- just maybe- I'd be ready to have it attached.

"Hm." Was all I got from her. Irritation got to me, and I almost walked out of the room. Something stopped me though, an invisible force perhaps. One that I couldn't justify. I frowned at the girl; my eyes slightly bigger with worry.

"I didn't... say something bad, did I?" I asked, hesitant. Winry sat up suddenly, and looked over. She looked surprised, not what I was expecting really. Then she smiled a little, scratching the back of her head.

"It's nothing you did, I'm just a little..." She trailed off, and didn't say anything for a long while.

"I got this scar a long time ago," I began, when her eyes looked directly into mine; I adverted my attention to the floor. "In an accident... It's something that I haven't been able to come to terms with for a while."

Winry stayed silent, as though urging me to continue. The sad thing was I didn't think I could stop. My hand trembled as I reached up to cup my eye.

"I've been bullied a lot because of this wound. I lost all my friends, and was terrified to even look at most people in the eye. I thought... for the longest time that I..."

My eyes widened as Winry reached out, wrapping her arms around me. Something stirred inside of me; like a memory, a found one. It reminded me of when Bray held me; as though Winry were my sibling. Instinctively, I snuggled back.

"I can see it hurts, really I do," Winry explained as she held me tightly. "I just wanted to help you let go of your fears. But I can see you're not ready."

I nodded into her shoulder, feeling tears pool into my eyes. She understood. Not only that, but she was accepting it.

"Hey I have an idea!" Winry said as we separated. "Why don't we go shopping?"

I blinked.

"Shopping?" I asked, the word almost foreign. It'd been years since I had gone shopping with another girl, save for my auntie.

"Yeah! We needed to get you some new clothes anyways!" She said with a beaming smile. I bit my lip, remembering the days that I used to hang with my friends at the mall.

I nodded, feeling anxious to get going. Though I knew there would be no mall, I had this strange desire to be with another female.

Somehow, I knew I wouldn't regret this day.

* * *

One thing I had forgotten about shopping, was the amount of bags.

There had to have been at the very least eight bags. Winry, although not overly huge on clothes, bought quite a few things through out our trip. I settled for one outfit and quite a few pairs of underwear. Winry had given me a look when I chose my outfit, apparently I had a 'creative' view on fashion.

In other words, my outfit was really weird.

I tried really really hard to stay with neutral tones; since everybody else seemed to wear them. Yet I still found myself getting surprisingly bold colors. They were cheap, because nobody wanted them.

We ate in town; Winry and I gushing over cute boys that walked by. Then we explored the farmer's market and picked up dinner. Finally, with five bags each, we began to make our way home.

At home, I tried out my outfit for the first time. Since it was such a hassle to put on clothes with one hand, I opted to just try them on once at home.

Looking in the mirror, I grinned at the way everything fit.

For pants, they were a soft material, akin to spandex yet not. They were form fitting, but not tight. And they were a navy blue. For a shirt I had a long orange button down top; but I just slipped it over my head to save from work. The top couple of buttons were undone. Over top of that I had on a dark chocolate brown trench coat that reached about my knees. Finally I found some slim work boots that went up to just below my knee; they were an inky black shade.

Apparently I looked really strange, like circus freak material strange. Yet I couldn't help but point out who was walking around in a tube top and pink-purple coveralls.

It was in the kitchen, later that night, that I had an epiphany.

Winry and I were helping Pinako make dinner when it happened.

"Do you know when those boys said they'd be back?" Pinako asked both of us. I looked to Winry as she looked to me.

"I figured they would be back soon," I said looking to the smallest of our group. "Since I'm almost done my books."

"Books?" Winry asked, not quite getting what I was explaining.

"Yeah, before they left, Ed left me a pile of alchemy books to read. Said he'd be back before I could get into any trouble. So I figured in a day or two since I'm pretty much done."

"I see..." Winry trailed off, a strange look in her eye at the mention of Edward. I raised a brow, but she looked away then. This made me frown, but I never pushed the subject.

"Well you know, helping me make dinner will help you with your alchemical studies," She said casually, handing me a plate of veggies to set on the table. As I got there, she added in an after thought. "As they say, alchemy was born in the kitchen."

I nearly dropped the plate when I heard this.

And that was the start of my new training montage.

* * *

_The next day_

"Okay, so to make a fried egg, all I have to do is identify my materials, then rapidly disturb them to create heat, and viola! A fried egg!"

Despite saying this to myself, I was really, really nervous. Messing with the temperature of something was supposed to be very difficult; but I had already taken on a bunch of psychos as it was. What more damage could I _possibly_ do to myself?

One way to find out.

Drawing a basic circle, I gulped a little bit, before placing my hand on it. The egg in the center of the circle had blue energy swirling around it. I closed my eyes in an attempt to keep focus.

_Focus._

If I could hold on just a little longer...

My eyes opened when I was finished. Staring at the egg, I hesitated. What if it didn't even heat up? Nervously, I reached out. My fingers gently touched the shell; a huge smile broke out across my face as I felt heat.

Tapping the egg against a rock, I was filled with mirth at the sight of the solid innards.

I had just figured out how to do alchemy.

* * *

That night, I felt rather restless.

My head kept on spinning with thoughts; each time I closed my eyes the memories of my lost arm surfaced. Finally, once the sun had set, I jumped out of bed. Pinako and Winry had been pulling all nighters for a while. So both of them were out of it. Armstrong was a heavy sleeper at the best of times too. There was nobody to stop me as I made my way to the door.

Slipping on my shoes, I snuck ungracefully outside. The air was humid and cool; it would probably rain soon. Looking around, I scanned my surroundings. No lights were on, but the moon shone down so brightly that I could see just fine. The world looked ether real in the glow of the moon. I caught myself smiling at it all.

My feet padded down a somewhat familiar path. It wasn't one that I took very often, only twice in fact. It was the path to the small train station. I walked up to the platform, glancing both ways, and listened. There was no sound; just the crickets and my own breathing. When I was finally satisfied that they wouldn't show up anytime soon, I turned on my heel and made for the cemetery.

The graveyard was a good half hour walk from the station. That didn't stop me though as I stepped into the gate. Making my way up to my tree, I noted the ground was wet. If my muddy shoes were anything to go by.

Maybe it was stupidity having my number; maybe I was just always crazy and finally realizing it. Either way, my mind somehow got the notion that it was safe for me to climb.

One armed.

In the dark.

On wet wood.

'Course the thought of just how _stupid_ this was only crossed my mind when I got up into the branches. The bark wasn't as wet up there though; the foliage covering the wood. I got comfortable, somehow finding ease in my location. My mind never stopped racing though; it was a constant whir of noises and images playing through my head. The only thing I could do was let it out really.

Most of my thoughts didn't make any sense.

I kept thinking about the 'argument' I had with Winry; why did I feel so sick and nervous when I thought about it? What kept me from throwing that silly day in the trash? We made up, let's just get on with it!

Then I thought about my arm; would I ever be able to function like I had before? Better? Sure, Edward functioned pretty damn well. The problem was he was _Edward Elric_, he was already amazing without needing to really try.

That boy... it still struck me as odd at how... easily he and Al had helped me. They, with their own bare hands, showed me the world in a new light. For a long time I was lost, confused, and I honestly believed that there were no good people in the world.

Then those two, by some fluke accident, ended up dragging me from the darkness. In turn, I held onto them too.

As I looked out to the moon, so full and bright above me, I couldn't help but smile again. I wanted to see them, now actually. Yet I knew that wasn't possible. They would come back though, Edward promised. If there was anything I had learned about them, it was this; Edward was a man of his word. He wouldn't- _couldn't_- make up such a lie.

"I'm waiting," I said softly, leaning back against the branch. "And I won't stop until you come home."

My eyes felt a little bit heavier now; images of my own home flustering me into a daze. Where was home? With bray, with Auntie. So why, why do I always see a certain blonde and suit of armor in the picture? A frown dawned my lips for a fracture of a second.

There was no way I could have both.

Someday... one day... I would have to choose. That choice could be tomorrow, maybe even later tonight. Or maybe it won't be for another two or three years? I didn't know when it would come, but for some reason, I was certain I knew the answer.

With my eyes slowly closing, a pair of golden orbs danced across the back of my lids.

"...My boys..."

* * *

_The Next Day_

I woke up in the tree the next morning.

Surprisingly I hadn't crash landed or fallen. There I sat, in the same snug position as before. My hip was a little stiff from resting against the bark, but it was a minor ache.

The sun had come out, basking me in warmth. I smiled, covering my eyes so that I could look out across the fields.

"Didn't think you could get that high as a gimp."

I nearly startled at the voice; not accustomed to hearing it in anything but my thoughts anymore. Looking down, I was met with the very being who haunted my thoughts. A broad smile stretch across my face as I stared into those golden eyes.

"You'd be amazed. Just wait until I have two hands, you'll never catch me then." I teased, hearing the boy snort before motioning for me to come down.

"C'mon, Granny's worried sick about you. Not to mention Winry might bash your head in if you don't hurry." He called, stepping back for me to jump down. I frowned; did I really worry them that much? I always went on late night adventures at my house; nobody ever thought much of it.

This wasn't my home though.

A sick feeling entered my gut.

Edward seemed to notice my frown; he raised a brow and gave me a questioning look.

"What's wrong? Can't get down?" He didn't wait for me to reply as he held both his arms out for me. "C'mon then. I'll catch you." He called. My eyes widened slightly at this; he smiled.

Without thinking too much about it, I slid from the branch. For a half second, I questioned the choice to free fall into the arms of a smaller male. Surely I would be too heavy? Perhaps I would break some of his bones? This was a bad idea; why did I do it?

Because I trusted him; no strings attached.

My worries died in my mind though as Edward held up his promise. His automail arm caught under my legs as his human arm wrapped around my back. His knees bent at my momentum, but never buckled. He stood there for a moment, holding me still as his eyes scanned my face. A big grin broke out across his own face then; but he made no move to put me down.

"See? Told ya I'd catch you."

I laughed a little as he finally set me on my feet.

"Never doubted you for a second." I teased. We stood there for a moment; I noticed Ed's eyes were racking over my un-used coat sleeve a few times. Instead of saying anything though, I began to walk. The boy walked next to me without a word for a little while. Giving him a much more subtle once over, I realized I was wrong. He was the same height as me now. Edward had grown a lot since I last saw him; no longer three inches shorter than myself.

"So? What have you been up to since we were last here? You're keeping Granny and Winry nice and stressed I see." Edward teased. My face tinted pink and the thought though.

"I-I never wanted to be an inconvenience, so I figured staying out of their hair was a lot safer than meddling around near by." I stammered, trying to walk a little faster. My gaze was locked onto the ground; I refused to look at the boy for a bit. Edward had other plans though. He grabbed at my useless shoulder, making me stop suddenly.

"Easy, I was just kidding." He said with a slightly worried tone. Looking up to him, I realized he was really trying to keep me happy. It hurt a little to know he _still_ blamed himself for what happened to me. A smile pulled at my lips as I nodded.

"I know," I said calmly, but didn't explain. Ed gave a small smile, before dropping his hand from my shoulder. We continued to walk back to the house after that.

On the way there, Ed chattered nearly nonstop about all the stupid missions Roy had sent him on. How all their leads turned up as dead ends. I tried to convince him that he'd find a solid lead soon; Edward was insistent that his chances were slim though.

When we reached the house, I was happy to see a very familiar suit of armor standing on the porch next to Pinako. Al waved at us as I waved back; I jogged up to greet him.

"Al!" I cried, jumping into his open arms. Al, very delicately, held me back. "I missed you teach!"

Al laughed.

"I missed you too Erin." Is all he said before we parted. Shortly before I could say anything, Pinako swiped me across the head. I winced, holding onto it in pain.

"That was quite some stunt you pulled. Sneaking off in the middle of the night? Where were you? You're filthy." Pinako buzzed, making my head spin more. It was then that I finally looked down at myself. I was dirty, but it was mostly my coat (thankfully).

"I'm sorry Pinako," I said, trying to show with my face that I truly was. "I got restless, and... well... I went to go and... climb a tree."

Pinako gave me a look; I scratched the back of my head. She sighed then, muttering for me to go and change. I thanked her for understanding before I went up to my room to do so. Flipping on a black tank top and shorts, I was about to go back down. It was then that something caught my eye.

A brush, sitting on the dresser, was what I noticed. I don't think I've ever used one (save for special occasions). I'd always opted to use my fingers. Running said fingers through my hair, I winced at just how gnarly my hair felt.

_"I bet Ed would like it too!"_

I looked in the mirror then, really looked. Sometimes I wondered; if I kept up my appearance, would I still look as pretty as before my scar? Before the wound, I'd been so filled with confidence. There wasn't a person in the world who could've knocked it. Closer to when I got my wound, my ego was already on shaky foundation. Mom had passed just a few months before it.

It made me sick when I thought about my life before. I remembered how when Mom passed, I put on this mask. Nobody even knew my Mother had died. Nobody asked; nobody noticed.

My own friends didn't even see that I was slowly getting sadder and more depressed.

I coughed, feeling the urge to throw up. It passed when my thoughts did though. Instead, I picked up the brush and took it to my locks. I ran it through for probably close to ten minutes; this was the reason I hated brushing my hair in the first place. It took way too damn long!

Though I did have to admit, I liked the feeling of my hair afterwards.

_"I bet Ed would like it too!"_

A certain giddiness filled me then. Turning around, I walked hurriedly toward the door. I opened it, heading for the stairs. What I saw at the bottom made me freeze in my tracks though.

I could see a side profile of a certain duo of blondes hugging.

Ed and Winry were hugging.

Something twisted in my gut. I didn't know what it was; I hadn't felt something like this towards those two before. I felt sick, the vomiting feeling coming back tenfold as I stared at them. My feet were rooted to the spot; I couldn't get them to move.

The duo pulled away from each other. That was a good thing- right? Then I caught the look in Edward's eyes.

_So much affection._

I turned around and walked silently back to my room; quietly shutting the door. Once inside, I sat on my bed and stared the necklace hanging beside the mirror. Nothing seemed to be making sense anymore.

Why was I feeling like this? I know the feeling from somewhere; however I couldn't quite place it.

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks.

Jealousy.

The question now was; am I jealous of Winry, or the duo themselves?

A sick feeling entered my gut once again as I discovered exactly what I was feeling. It was the same feeling when I first heard Winry speak so fondly of Edward when I first met them.

I was jealous of Winry.

Because I had a crush on Edward Elric.

Reaching numbly over, I grabbed a pillow from my bed and shoved it to my face. I then proceeded to scream into the pillow; the sounds near mute from how hard I shoved my face into it.

This_ cannot_ be happening!

* * *

**Author's Note!**

**Hey guys!  
**

**So... I pray I didn't disappoint with this chapter. If I'm being completely honest, my mind is stuck in a different anime right now. I'm not giving up on this story or anything, but I get the bad feeling that my writing is kinda off... Ah well. **

**Anyway, so I have a _lovely_ story for you guys! **

**So after my last update, I went to a two week horse show that ended on the 4th (It was epic! My coach said my horse and I could move up a division and we kicked ass! Not to mention he's letting me train one of his sales horses! Big step up for moi!) and then didn't get my computer back from the shop until the seventh. Did I tell you I sent it in? Anyway, so I got it back and had about three thousand words done, when the internet fails, and I lost everything (Since I have a habit of just typing away on here instead of uploading since my computer is super slow at that). I got pissed off, but I recovered most of it through retracing my steps and yada yada. Anyway, so I got all of that and then spent the last couple of days trying to figure out why the internet gods hate me! **

**I _just_ got my internet back. I was, quite literally, crying while I uploaded this. I actually was so desperate to write that I used Microsoft Word. And I usually HATE Word! So yeah, now I have this up! The only internet I had was my phone, and I only realized just now I could've used hotspot... dammit! Okay, so yeah I was super duper happy with you guys- WE'RE AT 100 REVIEWS! *Throws confetti* BOOYAH!**

**I gotta admit, when I first published this and didn't get nuthin, I was almost gunna quit. And then LeFay reviewed! And I was all happy and then I kept going! Thank you LeFay! Oh yeah, and before I forget I really hope the grammar and sentence structure was a bit better. I actually have never gone to a single English class, I always just got the work and did it on my own time since it interfered with work. So I have never actually used these little do-dads before! lol**

**Ummm... oh yeah. Like I said before, I'm horrid at fanart! I was wondering if any of my readers would like to make the cover for me? I was almost thinking it could be a contest and I could have a prize list too. Like first prize gets to showcase their cover photo, and a ones hot of whatever they want. Second could get a cute filler chapter to themselves (probably nothing even pertaining to the plot) and third could get something else... I dunno, something like that, depends on how many people are interested! Pm me or review to tell me! I do have a request for what it should look like, but if you do a good enough job I will _so_ accept them!**

**Oh, somebody reviewed asking if Erin and Ed will kiss soon. I actually know the exact moment they will kiss! I thought of it the very first time I tried to think of cutesy Edin moments. However, how soon... or not... it is will be a mystery for a while!**

**Truth be told, both of them are going to believe their first kisses to be at different times! Cruel aren't I?**

**Anyway, I kind of have to go now, I really hope you guys enjoyed this! And I will probably update around Monday! It's wicked busy since I'm working double shifts for the next week T.T**

**Review please! I love it when you do!**

**Cheers!**

_Iland Girl_


	25. Hiding in My Dreams

**THE OUTSIDER**

* * *

_by_ Iland Girl

"_For those without 'purpose'."_

A Fullmetal Alchemist Fanfiction

_I don't own anybody but my OC's!  
_

* * *

**_Chapter 24  
_**

_"Hiding In My Dreams"_

* * *

___"There is no point in using the word 'impossible' to describe something that has clearly happened."  
― Douglas Adams, __ Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency _

* * *

(Erin)

There's just no way I could have a crush on Ed.

I repeated that phrase in my head while I showed Al my new way of using Alchemy. He brought a whole bunch of stuff out into the yard and told me to show him. I made a chocolate cake that- surprisingly- tasted not too too bad.

"I wish I could eat some, it looks really yummy." Al said. I smiled at him.

"When you get your body back, I'll cook you a whole buffet, okay?" I said, grinning ear to ear. Al seemed to like that, going into detail about all the stuff his Mom used to make that he loved. I insisted I wasn't that good; Al's response is that I had to keep practicing Alchemy then.

So we moved on to making cookies next. I swear we're all going to be fat by the end of my training.

I prepped everything and began to mix the ingredients together, but then I caught movement in the corner of my eye. Glancing over, I immediately blanched at the sight of none other than Edward Elric across the yard.

Bathing under the hose.

In nothing but his underwear.

That was sticking to his body.

Memories of the bathroom flooded back.

"Erin are you concentra-"

_BOOM_

I blinked, wiping cookie dough and some strange charred substance off of my face. Sweat formed on my head when I saw Al was covered in it too.

"I-I'm sorry! I lost concentration and-" From there my words got more and more hysterical. Al simply looked from me, to over my shoulder _where his brother was probably staring at us_. He looked back to me; if metal could smirk he'd be doing it now.

"Of course you did." He said slyly. I hung me head.

I swear I don't like Edward Elric.

* * *

(Erin)

"Come on! It's really fun! Trust me!" I insisted. Edward, Alphonse, Winry, and Armstrong all sat in a circle with me. I grinned at each of their responses to playing the story game. Ed glared at Al.

"You just had to ask how to play." He muttered, Al scratched the back of his neck. I cleared my throat before Armstrong could talk loudly about the brothers attitudes.

"Okay! I'll start. Once upon a time..." I looked to Ed sitting next to me.

"There was an Alchemist." He muttered.

"His name was Edward Elric!" Alphonse said as Ed glared.

"He was so full of hot air..." Winry added with a smirk.

"That had been passed down the Elric line for generations..." Armstrong added in.

"So he could shout about how short he was..." I added in. Ed looked like he was ready to kill me.

"WHY ARE YOU CALLING A LOUSY LITTLE BEAN SPROUT MIDGET?!" Ed screamed into my ear.

"Just like that!" Al said, making me snicker.

"He liked to ruin his automail..." Winry said in a dangerous tone. Ed backed closer to me then.

"That the Great Winry learned to make from her grandmother. A skill passed down through the generations!" Armstrong declared.

"And then one day a big baddie appeared!" I added in.

"Who wasn't really that tough." Edward said. I swear his nose grew a little at his prideful remark.

"But he was beaten up pretty badly." Al added, Ed glaring at his brother. Al just snickered.

"And he better not have broken his automail." Winry growled, making even me tremble and sweat.

"The Great Full Metal Alchemist is one of the youngest State Alchemists of all time!" Armstrong shouted.

"Until Winry showed up with her gleaming wrench." I said, smirking. Ed paled.

"I don't like where this is going." Ed admitted.

"Said the Alchemist." Al said, making Ed look at him with pleading eyes.

"Those were his last words." Winry said, cracking her knuckles.

"Winry! You're not supposed to end it there. you're supposed to keep going until somebody can't add anything into the story." I said through laughter. Winry blinked a bit, then smiled sheepishly.

"Guess I got carried away... Eheheh" She said. Edward, who was now hiding behind me -why the second smallest in the room?!- peaked his head out to yell at her.

"You were actually gunna kill me!" Edward shouted. I looked over to him, right beside my shoulder.

Ed was touching my shoulder, his chest against my back...

Jeez, is it hot in here or what?

No, it's not because I like Edward Elric.

Because I don't.

* * *

(Erin)

"Ow! That hurts when you do that!" Ed shouted.

"Well then stop moving!" Al shouted back. I sighed, scratching my scalp as I stared at the scene.

While trying to do more Alchemy, Ed appeared out of nowhere and ruined my concentration on making bread. I was so scared that I made the spaghetti noodles rock solid, and ended up making them fly everywhere. As Ed tried to flee, one hit him in the back.

More over, he wasn't wearing a shirt. One actually pierced his skin between his shoulder blades.

So after ten minutes of whining and trying to get it himself, he finally admitted her needed help. After Al was done laughing and I was done panicking about it hurting him -which apparently it didn't that much- and me screaming -"There's a spaghetti arrow in your back!"- we both tried to help him.

"I can't get it if you keep moving Brother! Erin distract him." Al said, making me gawk at him.

"Me?! How am I supposed to do that?" I asked, Al shrugging. Ed fumed.

"I'm right here!" He shouted, but then I got an idea. Clasping a hand over his shoulder, I made him look me in the eye. He stopped moving and stared at me. However my resolve dissipated as our eyes met.

I don't have a crush on Edward Elric...

I don't have a crush on Edward Elric...

"Gotcha!"

"Ahhhhh!" Edward shouted as Al pulled the spaghetti arrow out of his back.

Despite him breaking eye contact with me, I still couldn't stop myself from turning beat red.

Crap...

I really do have a crush on Edward Elric.

* * *

(Erin)

"So how long will you guys be here?" I asked.

Ed leaned back on his hands, sprawling his legs out in front of him. We were sitting outside, away from the house a bit.

"Probably close to two weeks I guess," he began casually. "Armstrong has to go back to Central and file a report. We'll be here until then at least."

So they'd be here to watch over me until Armstrong could return. Looking at the clouds passing over us, I smiled a little bit. Al told me he'd teach me some more Alchemy tomorrow; today he was busy visiting Trisha's grave. Ed brush off the conversation though; he only explained where Al had gone.

"Come to think of it," Ed began. I looked over to him, his eyes doing the same. "Why the Hell are you all the way over there?"

I blushed a little, glancing down at the twenty feet of distance between us. Looking away, I bit the inside of my mouth to keep from squeaking. How was I going to explain that? 'Oh hey, Ed! I just realized I have a crush on you and all, and everytime we get to close I feel like my chest is gunna explode!'

Yeah- no.

Never mind how much I was stuttering when I went down the stairs; or when Ed said he wanted to talk to me outside. So I gave myself some space.

"W-Well I like it over here! S-So I'm just going to-" I stopped talking when I noticed Edward shuffling himself across the grass. "What are you doing?!"

Good going Erin, could you shout any louder?

Edward looked up at me, looking confused. He's cute when he's confused- Ah! Bad Erin! Still, when he neared me, I shuffled away a little. Ed stopped moving, raising a brow at me.

"What's with you today?" He asked, shuffling over again. I shifted away just as much. Edward narrowed his eyes; I started to sweat a little. He shifted once; I shifted once. He shuffled six times; I shuffled six times.

Oddly enough, I found myself giggling after a few rounds. We'd somehow turned it into a game of sorts. Then Edward broke the rules and stood up, diving for me. I squeaked before leaping to my own feet and taking off at a run. He chased after me as I ran; barefoot across the countryside. It was impossible for me to contain my laughter as I ran.

"Get back here!" Edward called, but I could hear the laughter in his voice too.

"Never!" I laughed out, running down a hill. At some point I stumbled from the speed, Ed caught up to me enough then to tackle me down. I screamed and laughed as we rolled a little bit, falling to the bottom of the hill.

We laid there for a moment; I panted as Ed chuckled a little. His arm raised then, wrapping around my waist and pinning me to the ground. I looked at him in slight surprise. He grinned, it was contagious too.

"There, now just stay still, will ya?" He teased. I gave him a wicked grin then.

"Never would've thought the great Full Metal Alchemist would be so good at child's play." I teased back. He got irked at this, opening his mouth to argue.

"Aw forget it, there's no point with you." He muttered, lying his head on the ground. Right next to my shoulder. I could feel the warmth of his breath, my face heating up too.

I wonder...

Could Ed and I really be a couple? I mean, it's every girl's fantasy to have such a... caring, brave, strong..._ hot_... boyfriend, right? It was mine too; I was no different from the rest. I'd been looking for my knight in shining armor for a long time too.

Long before my scar; when I was popular. When I had friends; I was always looking for him. We all do, we all want that somebody to make us feel stronger.

Edward made me feel like I could face anything. I spat in death's face in Lab Five; I did that because I could feel it. A fire inside of me; one that only appeared after I met him.

Looking over to the blonde, I smiled warmly. Yes, I could be happy with Edward. I could someday come to love him as more than a friend; more than a crush. There was no doubt in my mind that, with enough time, I could fall for him.

The question was; could he fall for me?

Doubt crept into me then as I looked to the peaceful boy napping against me.

There was just no way... no way somebody so great could love me. Not like that. Even if he did -which is so impossible it hurts- there were dozens of other factors to take in.

I had to think of Bray, of Auntie. They needed me so badly that I felt anguish at the mere thought. I had to go back to them; I had to protect them. They'd been there for me for years. I had to repay them somehow.

My chest ached as I looked down at Ed. I felt his grip around m waist loosen; had he fallen asleep? I wondered, for a brief second, if he'd even notice I'd kissed him. My body shifted slightly towards him in anticipation.

_"You want to what?" I asked, looking up at him._

_"I want to kiss you!" He said, grinning at me. A frown formed on my lips then as I turned away. _

_"No thanks, you're not my type." I said casually, trying to walk away. A gasp ripped from my throat as he grabbed my arm. Spinning me back, my lips collided with his. My eyes widened and, as soon as I caught up with everything, I pulled back. Smacking him hard across the face, I glared. Holding a hand to cover my mouth; I cursed him. _

_He smirked, licking his lips. _

_"Now I own the most popular girl in school's first kiss." _

I pulled back then.

Has Ed ever...

My eyes scanned him for a moment; my voice coming back to me.

"Hey, Ed?" I asked tentatively. He mumbled lightly, retracting his arm from around my waist.

"Hmm?" He sounded half asleep.

"I've been meaning to ask this for a while..." I began, watching him roll onto his back and scratch his stomach.

"What?" He asked, sounding a little bit more awake.

"Are you and Winry together?" I asked, feeling my throat tighten. At first he just 'hmmed', as though thinking it through. Then he sat up quickly and looked at me. The look of panic in his eyes surprised me; I'd never seen such a look from him before.

"What?! Wh-What gave you that idea?!" He shouted, making me smile a little. He was so cute when he was embarrassed. Something ripped inside of me at the same time that it warmed me.

"Well do you want to be?" I asked, smiling still. He turned pink then, looking away.

I knew it.

There was no way we could work; it was just a dream.

Edward scratched his neck; he looked like he was stuck between embarrassed and irritated. Still, I made no effort to ease his worries. He sat there for a moment, before I sat up too. My port wasn't aching so much anymore; thank God or when Ed tackled me I might have screamed.

Edward looked over to me then, but looked back to the ground.

Jeez, this was going nowhere! Deciding to save him from further embarrassment, I changed the subject.

"So, you're the youngest State Alchemist ever, huh?" I began, lying back down. He looked at me with slight curiosity, but then smiled.

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Tell me, how did a kid like you get into this business?" I asked, knowing full well why they did it, but not the how.

To my surprise, Ed went really quiet then. He turned away so I couldn't see his face, making me frown. I sat up, trying to see his eyes.

"Ed?" I asked, worried I'd overstepped my boundaries. He looked at me then, a weak look in his eyes. Eyes that always seemed to fiery and full of life... it hurt to see him like this. Without thinking of it, I grabbed his hand in his lap. He looked from them to my face. I tried to keep my voice soft as I spoke.

"You don't have to tell me, I understand if you're not ready."

I'm not ready to tell you about my scar either.

"No," Edward said, a determined look in his eyes. "I..." His hand squeezed mine then; a silent acceptance.

He wanted me to know.

I squeezed back, and he began his tale.

He told me about how Roy had originally come to the Rockbell's. About how he offered him work, and a chance to look for the Philosopher's Stone. Ed explained the Tucker's estate; about how the wife had vanished. For a little while, I thought the story was a happy one. One that held stories of the brothers playing with Nina; the daughter.

Then things took a turn when Ed told me about Tucker's true intentions. About what he did to Alexander and Nina.

I covered my mouth with my hand. A sick feeling dropped into my gut at the very thought. Yet I couldn't stop the ache in my chest at the sad look on Edward's face.

"It was then that I realized it. We're not Gods. We're just humans, tiny, insignificant humans. Who couldn't even save a little girl." He admitted, his body shaking slightly.

Slowly, carefully, I knelt beside him. He didn't look up at me; but he did stop trembling as I wrapped my arm around his head. I pulled his head into my shoulder, holding him tightly.

There was nothing I had to say there, nothing that would make him feel any different. So I stayed there, trying my best to help in the only way I knew how. We sat there for a while, but then I felt Edward lift his arms to wrap around me.

"I went on to work for Mustang," he said. I could only stare in awe at him as he continued to tell me his stories. At some point we separated; I sat back on my legs and listened without interruption. He told me about all his adventures in the East; even how he was called the 'Hero of The People'. No doubt that inflated his already massive ego as an Alchemist.

I smiled, he'd been through a lot. Yet he was still just a kid; I was just a kid too.

"Then I met you," he said, catching me off guard. That huge grin on his lips. "And we started the next adventure together."

Something about the way he said it...

_"Then I met you,"_

...Made my heart beat quicken.

My smiled doubled in size, we looked at each other for a moment before gazing at the sky.

"Looks like the common denominator is you," I said. "You're the reason for everyone's problems."

"Hey!" He said, sounding irked. It made me laugh.

"Still, I'm happy it was you who found me." I said, gazing at all the clouds. When he didn't reply I looked over to him. He was openly staring at me; his eyes widened slightly. He looked surprised, but before I could comment he looked away.

I shrugged it off and looked up to the sky; it was only when Edward mumbled something under his breath that I looked back at him.

"Did you say something?" I asked, watching as he grumbled again. "I can't hear you..."

He spun around, looking me right in the eye. I was caught off guard, looking at him with wide eyes.

"I said I'm glad I met you too, alright?" He half shouted. I sat there for a moment, completely stunned by the look on his face. The pink dusting on his cheeks.

Could he possibly...?

Edward stood up abruptly, looking away and scratching the back of his neck.

"It's gotta be close to lunch, let's go back." He said.

"Okay." Was all I could muster. I stood up then, frowning when I noticed Ed walking stiffly ahead of me. With a sudden spurt of insanity, I ran full throttle into his back. Jumping at the last second, I grappled onto him then. He's grown a little; his shoulders are wider. He's taller than I thought too.

"What are you doing?" He grumbled, looking up at me. Despite the tone, he'd already hooked his hands under my legs. I smiled at him, trying to see his face.

"You looked bothered by something." I said simply.

I don't ever want to see you like that.

He looked at me for a little bit, then smiled slightly with a small snort.

"Yeah right," he said, walking forward. "You just wanted a piggy-back ride."

I grinned, but then noticed he made no move to put me down. A warmth spread through me as we made our way back to the house.

* * *

(Erin)

"We're back!" I called when we walked in the front door. Alphonse was helping Winry carry a bunch of boxes into the basement while Pinako seemed to be enjoying a cup of tea.

"About time you got back. What were you two doing?" Pinako asked, making my face turn pink.

"Ah well- we're back now and that's all that matters!" I said, laughing nervously. She raised a brow; Edward covered his mouth to try and hide his laugh. It was a pathetic attempt at best. Nudging him only made his laughter more prominent too.

"Well in any case, I think you should take a seat." Pinako said, making me look at her.

"Why?" I asked, getting nervous at her tone.

"Because today's the day we attach your arm."

Oh.

Well, I should be happy about that, right?

_"Indeed, reconnecting all the nerves in his legs isn't exactly sugary sweet. He has to have each nerve reawakened to reattach his limbs."_

I paled; there was no way I could do that!

"C'mon, it only hurts for a little bit." Winry said, walking up the staircase. Al followed behind her. I bit my lip, looking to Ed. He gave me a weary smile.

So it really does hurt. Even Ed can't lie and say it won't. I felt sweat dripping down my back, the nerves getting to me as Pinako pulled out a chair. Al walked over to it, holding a long piece of metal.

My arm.

I walked over and looked at it for a bit, admiring the look of it.

"You like it? I made it myself! It's light weight steel alloy, but it'll have the durability of Ed's arm too!" Winry began, then gave me a _very_ scary look. "Though I can't imagine you ever breaking it."

Her voice went so dark I thought she killed the light in the room. Ed and Al were both huddled in the corner at her words.

"Y...Yes Ma'am." I whispered, turning white.

"Alright, that's enough," Pinako said, motioning for me to sit down. "Get ready."

I nodded, Winry helping me remove my clothes down to my tank top. She glared at the boys to turn away until then, making me sweat more. Winry noticed my shaking, and even commented.

"You're shaking like a leaf!" She exclaimed, making me even more nervous. "We could always do this another day too..." She said, but I shook my head.

"N-No..." I stuttered, looking over to Ed and Al. They looked at me too. I bowed my head then. "I have to...! I can't go back... I have... m-move forward."

I felt a large hand grip mine. Looking up, I saw Al had taken my hand in his.

"You can squeeze my hand if you'd like. I can take it." He said with a weak joke. It made me smile slightly nonetheless. Ed came and placed a hand on my shoulder too. A confident smile on his face. It made me mimic it; though mine was more shaky still.

"There, are you ready?" Winry asked. She too was smiling at me. I nodded, holding Al's hand tightly. Pinako and Winry took the cover off of my port and began to set up my arm.

"Okay, we'll do it as quickly as possible, but it's still going to take a while for your nerves to connect." Winry said as she and Pinako prepped themselves.

"I'm ready." I said, no longer shaking as I gripped Al's hand tightly. He gave a light squeeze back to affirm me.

"Three." Pinako began to count. I looked up to Ed, noticing he looked a little queasy.

"Two." Why did I want to do this again?

"One." This was gunna hurt.

**_CLANK_**

For about half a second, I felt absolutely no pain. Then the next half is when it all came rushing in. It was like knives were prodding at my nerves themselves. Peeling them apart before sewing them back together; just to do it all over again.

I was going to scream, loudly, but then I bit my lip and grunted loudly.

It hurt, more than it hurt to lose my arm.

Don't black out!

Oh God it hurts!

Stay awake, stay together!

Mind over matter!

_Mind over matter!_

I closed my eyes as tears washed down my cheeks.

Everybody was watching me; I could feel it. So I had to stay strong; if not for me, then for them.

I was vaguely aware of them lying me down. My head resting against something soft.

Mind over matter!

It felt like hours passed before the pain ebbed away a little. It was only a mild comfort, but it made me feel better.

Don't black out...!

Wait... why didn't I want to black out?

Soon, the darkness became so inviting I couldn't resist.

* * *

(Winry)

"Ed, come and eat! She'll probably be out for a while." Winry called to Ed from the kitchen. All but Ed and Erin had grouped into the kitchen to eat. Even Al came to sit down with the Rockbell's. Still he blonde boy sat in a chair next to the couch where Erin was resting. She'd passed out shortly after she stopped crying. It was a big ordeal; Winry was amazed she didn't scream or cry out at all.

She couldn't see Erin's face, or Ed's for that matter. His back was to her, right in front of her face.

"Leave him be," Pinako said calmly, taking a bite of her food. "He's not going to budge."

Winry huffed, looked to Ed one last time, then sat down to eat. She felt something stir inside of her at the thought of Ed staying over there, but couldn't quite place the feeling.

"I don't know why he's being so stubborn. He hates it when others try and sit around him." She muttered, not understanding why she was so upset. It was then that she thought of when the boys first got back.

_"Winry." Ed called, grinning ear to ear. Winry smiled back, stopping her tasks to say hello back. _

_"Took you guys long enough," She teased. Ed laughed a little, grinning ear to ear. "Where was Erin hiding?" _

_"Up a tree." He said as he casually pointed upwards. Winry tensed, freaking out as she dropped her tools on the floor. "Never mind that, she's fine now." _

_"B-But how did she- Where did she- Huhh?!" Winry exclaimed. Ed laughed at her face, but did say anything more about the tree climbing adventure. _

_"I gotta say, you guys are looking after her really well." He said, making Winry give him a flat look. _

_"You could be a little nicer you know." She muttered back, feeling depressed. _

_"Really, Winry," Ed said; looking her in the eye as she stood up. "Thank you." _

_She didn't know why, but in that moment she wanted to hug him. So she did. He was tense at first, but then afterwards he wrapped his arms around her too. _

_"It's no big deal Ed, she's my friend too." She felt there was more to it though; so she added on. "And stop blaming yourself for whatever happened. It's pretty obvious Erin doesn't blame you." _

_They pulled apart, Winry felt so nervous when he had that kind of look in his eye. _

_What he said next really got to her. _

"I guess this is something only they can share." Al admitted out loud. Winry looked to him, then back over to the door to the other room.

"Come to think of it, why aren't you over there to Al? Not saying anything against you being here but..." She began, but stopped when she heard Al chuckle.

"Like I said, I think this is something only they could understand."

* * *

(Edward)

He sat there for a little longer, watching the girl sleep. Her bangs brushed aside; he could see her scar perfectly. There was nothing wrong with it; just an old scar. He had many, some visible while others weren't. There was no doubt Erin was the same.

He smiled as he watched her sleep some more.

...She really was pretty...

_"Still, I'm happy it was you who found me."_

Edward watched, hesitant to even breathe.

His eyes landed on her lips; he unconsciously leaned in a bit.

Slapping a hand over his face, he fell back in his chair. Where did that come from? He hadn't felt like that before; as far as he could remember anyway. What was that? That urge? He didn't understand, and that probably frustrated him the most. It was like a puzzle; one he still couldn't solve. He'd been getting that feeling since he got back to Resembool.

No, before then even. When was the exact moment he felt it? He couldn't remember-

_I love you both so much. _

_And I haven't given up on you. _

_It might take a little while, maybe a whole year._

_But someday I want to see you both again. I want to walk beside you, like before. _

_So please, don't give up on me just yet. _

It was then.

Ever since he read that letter, the strange feeling had been crawling all over him. Edward glanced down at the blonde girl, noting her sleeping peacefully.

Juts what had she done to him?

Erin grumbled a little bit then, making him back out of thoughts. She opened her eyes, blinking away sleep. Her grey orbs looked over to him, his chest swelled as she acknowledged him.

"Ed...?" She asked softly. He smiled; Erin already trying to sit up. She winced; he knew the nerves in her arm were still painful. The feeling was all too familiar to him. She wouldn't be able to use her arm very much for the next few days. He doubted she'd use it at all for a while.

Her eyes locked onto her arm then, the automail glistened in the soft light of the room.

"It's going to hurt for a few days," He explained. "But you'll be up in no time."

She looked from her fingers to his eyes. A look of determination crossed her face then as she winced. He noticed she was trying to move her arm. Ed just about grabbed her to make her stop.

"Don't move!" She whispered, her concentration on her new arm. Ed's eyes widened as she slowly shifted it from across her stomach to his knee. He stared at her hand as it slowly reached out to his.

His automail hand.

Edward felt a warmth spread through him as he watched his and Erin's automail fingers intertwine. When she seemed to lose strength and just about let go, he clutched her's back.

He couldn't feel it on his skin; something so trivial yet meaningful.

Yet he could feel it in his heart.

His eyes locked with Erin's. A smile playing at her lips. She closed her eyes again, looking exhausted. Slowly, he leaned over her, his lips gently touching her forehead.

Right then, if only a little, he was beginning to understand what was building inside of him.

* * *

**Author's Note!**

**Hey guys!  
**

***Gets rotten fruit thrown at me***

**I'm sorry! T . T'**

**It's been a long time, huh? Hopefully it was worth the wait! I figured this will probably be the last fluff chapter for a while, and there's probably gunna be a time skip at some point! Not to mention that boys have been up to stuff too!**

**So I think I got everybody's scene requests... If I didn't I am sorry, remind me and I will put it in!**

**Also I am looking for a Beta Reader. I am horrible at Grammar and I don't think I do this story justice in that department. I also apologize if characters seem OOC. I admit I've been stuck on 'Fairy Tail' fandom for a while. Still, this had to be updated, and I just keep picturing chapter 7o something and crying that it will take forever to get there! I want to write that chapter sooooo badly! It'll make you all cry!**

**So we are officially 1/4 through the story! Woot! I'm really happy you guys are still enjoying it! Forgive me for taking so long, I am working really hard to buy a laptop since this stupid computer quit on me for a week AGAIN. **

**I also start school in two weeks, and I really hope I can make two more updates, but please don't quote me! Ummm... I think this is everything... okay... **

**Yawn, I wrote this when I couldn't sleep...but now it's almost afternoon. I've been humming and hawing and thinking about taking bigger risks with character growth. I reaaallly hope this isn't moving too fast for you guys. I actually originally thought of Ed not even noticing her that way for a while, but I can't help it! I probably will peel myself away from the fluff now... for another twenty something chapters... eheheh... We've got a storyline to catch up to! Plus this little arc was supposed to finish this chapter. **

**One more chapter in Resembool! Then back to the main storyline!**

**Review please! I love it when you do!**

**Cheers!**

_Iland Girl_


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